Helping DS1 Adjust

binny10

I'm at a loss. I know this is probably a pretty common problem, but anyone out there have tips on helping DS1 to the new LO? DS is a sensitive little guy (2.5 years old) and is having a tough time with the fact he can't have my undivided attention. We have had several episodes of hysterical crying where he just needs snuggling, which alway coincide with DS2 needing something (feeding, crying episode, etc). I feel horrible. I have tried doing things with just DS1 when family comes to visit, when DS2 is napping, basically whenever I can. Is this just one of those things that only time will cure or does anyone have any good tips to help him cope with the changes?

slwprincess

This was my experience when I had #2. We've had a much easier transition this time but still a few bumps in the road. I tried all the normal suggestions too but ultimately it just took time. I know that's not really comforting when you just want to fix it NOW. But I can tell you that now, my older 2 are so close. They love each other and get along great and really help each other. It's been a long road but I promise it DOES get better! Hang in there and give yourself a break.

KaraLeigh115

My DS is 2.5 too. And it was hard at first and now he sees that when LO cries he gets all the attention so now he does this little whine episode basically mimicking LO. We try to include him in EVeRYTHING with LO. And it has seemed to help.
I mean from diaper changes to giving him the pacifier or helpig calm him down or snuggling all as one on the couch

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binny10

Thanks for your input ladies. I know it will get better eventually but @slwprincess you're right I just wish there was more I could do now! I'm trying not to wish away the next year so we could get to the point where they can interact more and DS1 will see how great it is that he has a brother.

I have tried to involve him as much as I can in caring for DS2 but he's not really interested at this point and I haven't wanted to push it and make things worse. I might try talking it up more now though, he is 3 weeks so hopefully DS1 understands at this point he's here to stay. I have wondered if the crying episodes are linked to seeing the baby get attention when he cries, but DS1 seems so genuinely sad and cries "mommy" while clinging to me for dear life, and it's only when it's just the three of us alone which leads me to think he's stressed/ sad about having to share attention with DS2. Who knows though.

And sleep in definitely an issue in our house too! DS1 stopped napping well right before DS2 was born and naps are still pretty inconsistent. Times when he is tired are definitely more challenging than when he is well rested.

Sorry this ended up being so long! It's nice to get other mom's perspectives, thank you!

ETA: mobile bumping and posted too quickly!