AW: "No Gift Boxes Please" Seriously?

Valie18

My friends are expecting their first in a couple of months. I will be back in the country the day before she is due. 

In December we were chatting and she was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to attend her baby shower. I asked her to send me an invite anyway. I was looking forward to seeing what she was wanting for the LO and picking out something for them to enjoy.

I got an evite today. It is a two liner: Please join us to celebrate MTB's Baby Bump! No gift boxes please.

Before thinking I sent a reply to the host thanking her for the evite and asking if MTB is registered anywhere or if she had given hints on what she wanted for the baby. Then I read the evite again, wondered if my friend was going through some sort of eco-phase, and Googled "No gift boxes please." Well, according to Google this means that I'm being asked to gift money. Yup, the host just replied and she thinks it would be best to give a "monetary gift."

I all ready bought them a board book of one of my favourite childhood stories. So, I guess I'm sticking a cheque in it. *sad face*

Edited because words are hard.

Sam Buttons

There are no words. Wow, just wow.

mjberube89

Umm wow... This is an actual thing? Wtf...

Valie18

I chatted it over with my Mom because pregnancy is making me ornery. I think I'm going to get DH to drop off a card and some cash to them for the shower, and then wrap the book up and give it to them with some freezer meals when I get to meet their LO.

Hopefully they're happy about both the shower gift and the book that way.

Valie18

And yes, according to Google this is a thing for Indian and Pakistani weddings. I am underwhelmed.

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SingleMom31

I definitely wouldn't go along with this and send a check... That's part of why people think that kind of stuff is okay ("everyone gave money and nobody said anything!").

Whatever you want to give is fine. I'd love a friend's favorite board book!

Cranang

I'd buy a whole bunch of the most annoying, loud small toys and wrap them up. Under NO circumstances would my checkbook make an appearance. Hell I don't even know where my checks are...everything is paid online.

That's insane. Why didn't she just put her bank account number on there and skip the whole havin to see people part.

VOR

I'd still get what I wanted to get. It's a gift. They don't get to dictate this.

Meery82

Wowwwwwww. I wouldn't give her shit and I would not waste my time on that hideous shower.

Valie18

I am trying to give MTB the benefit of the doubt here. It is possible she had no idea the host is requesting money for gifts.

Lynzdice21

I would buy the biggest, ugliest, obnoxious, stuffed animal I could find. I have never heard of anything so rude! An an Evite? Really? She couldn't afford stamps? Let me guess if you were going you' would be required to pay for your own meal too?

VOR

Valie18 said:

I am trying to give MTB the benefit of the doubt here. It is possible she had no idea the host is requesting money for gifts.

I find this really, really hard to believe though.  I just don't understand a hostess who would decide this w/ no input.

KatFCo

If I got an invitation that said "No gift boxes," I would assume they wanted everything in a gift bag.

MKAM10

I am sad to say this might be becoming a thing. A friend of mine told me she received a first birthday party invite with the same wording. So rude, IMHO.

RibbitGrl930

My mind can't even comprehend this level of tackiness and absurdity. I'm with the other ladies- I would not, in any way, honor this request. Just give the gift you were originally planning to give. Give the book and be done with it.

Helenahhandbasket

SmileyGirl18 said:

This was actually printed on a wedding invitation I got back in 2005. All of my friends and I gave our gifts in gift bags.

LOL!

Look, for a wedding-- cash as a gift is highly regional.  I didn't even know that in other parts of the country it was customary to give a physical gift to for a wedding until I was well into my 20s.  That being said-- I have never seen a wedding invitation with a request for money (or anything.)

For a baby shower, this request is beyond ridiculous.  O, give what ever you planned to gift before you got the invite.

VOR

SmileyGirl18 said:

This was actually printed on a wedding invitation I got back in 2005. All of my friends and I gave our gifts in gift bags.

Seriously- this is what I expect most of the guests will do!  I've heard of "no boxed gifts" and know that means something else.  But "no gift boxes"?  I'd be like "O.k. - here's a bag instead!". 

RedInLove

I'd honor no gift box, and put it in a gift bag. Just to be a wise ass. And it would be a gift, not cash.

kimberpoo

wow. why even have a shower then? soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tacky. unbelievable. I really hope your friend doesn't know anything about it. "hey everybody! show up and give me money." 

what a bummer for you...I hate that you might be thinking/feeling badly of a good friend.

jf198400

I was once Invited to a "gift card shower" for a bride. Now granted she was flying in from like 2000 miles away for the shower but I still thought it was super tacky. I'd still rather have a gift shipped to her then give cash

MMason12

I would be so embarrassed as the MTB and the Host. Whoever thought this was a good idea is an idiot!!! 

MMason12

MKAM10 said:

I am sad to say this might be becoming a thing. A friend of mine told me she received a first birthday party invite with the same wording. So rude, IMHO.

Seriously?!?! WTH is wrong with people now a day!?!?

FemShep

Just....wow.....  Is the MTB or hostess indian or pakistani?  (I'm really looking for a way to excuse this.)

Ditto the PPs, I'd just buy the gift I was planning to give and put it in a lovely gift bag.  And I might mention to the hostess that I was very taken aback by the request. 

Valie18

@FemShep MTB is of Indian heritage, and I think the host is her SIL (also Indian) but they're born here. They either don't know how showers work, or have decided to do things their own way. For example, her SILs have showers for each baby.

RunBooRun

I would be seriously questioning giving them anything. If I still was going to, it sure as hell wouldn't be cash, check, or gift card.

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Pepper6

What are they doing at the shower then?  Watching her open and list off the amounts of cash/check everyone gave?  "Yay...Aunt Sally gave us $250, thanks!!"  "Hmm...Aunt Karen only gave $20, everyone look how cheap she is...."

Valie18

@shanicenicolle In my culture, if you are asked for money for a shower gift, one of the more appropriate responses is to whine about it on an internet forum. You should have investigated the way I was raised before telling me to be more understanding. Geeze.

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Peanutz21

i think u should buy a lot of small items (like socks, mittens,bibs) and put them in the BIGGEST GIFT BOX EVER

Meery82

mrsgerman said:

Semi-related. I was just invited to a shower in a month where they requested no gifts be wrapped. Is that now a thing? This couple is not eco friendly so it's not a green thing

It's just a tacky thing.

Valie18

@mrsgerman I think you get a request to bring an unwrapped gift when the host or MTB doesn't want to spend time unwrapping or oohing and aahing over gifts.

Like Meery said, it's tacky.

VOR

mrsgerman said:

Semi-related. I was just invited to a shower in a month where they requested no gifts be wrapped. Is that now a thing? This couple is not eco friendly so it's not a green thing

It sadly does seem to be a "thing".  And it's a "we can't be bothered to open your gifts".  Honestly, while I've never dealt w/ a lot of these requests myself, if I were to get an invite like this, It might play a BIG role in whether I attend or not. Because I really don't want to condone this behavior!

kobicou

Lurker here. I am Indian. Have attended loads of weddings and baby showers and NEVER seen anything this impolite on any invite to date. Its not Indian cultural in fact it would be considered extremely rude. We don't even do registries as its just not done.

ktlucas

I have been invited to a Hindu & Muslim wedding this past year.  The invite did say "no boxed gifts please", meaning cards/cash only.  Seems odd though for a baby shower.