feeling a little crazy — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

feeling a little crazy

So, I'm pretty certain what I'm feeling is normal, but I also feel like no one has the time of patience for it. We learned of our baby's death Monday and I just had the D&C Wednesday.  I've been crying on and off, but doing pretty well all things considered, I think.  However, my 9 year old daughter is already asking if I'm done crying yet. My husband, although supportive and not saying it, I believe would also prefer I be ready to be normal again.

Today I thought I was making more progress, but I guess not.  I'm physically sore and on my last nerve.  I dropped something on my foot and just lost it, sobbing.  I am so sad and so angry that I don't even know what to do with myself.  The poor dog just got smacked on the nose just for coming by me. I am a wreck.

I've been off work all week and the plan is for me to go back Monday. I'm not sure I'm ready, but I also don't want to just sit here any more either!  Ugh!  I just want some semblance of normal back!

Re: feeling a little crazy

  • Of course they want you to be normal again, they probably rely on you so much and are used to you a certain way that they don't know what to do or how to be around you.  Is it possible for you to take some time to yourself, maybe for just a few hours, get some air?  Perhaps get a massage or a mani/pedi or a new hair style?  Or take a long walk, go shopping, just do something you enjoy?  I think you need some time for yourself where you can be you without having to worry about keeping it together for someone else.  It's also perfectly normal if you just want to cry and let it all out.  Just try to incorporate things that make you smile/happy.  Good luck!

      
  • I find that others want to fix you and grief just can not be fixed. it is okay to feel this way and okay to cry. When we went to see my family right after my m/c (it was around christmas time) I resorted to crying in the shower so no one would hear and try to come fix it. GracefulStar is right, try to find a little time to yourself where you can feel what you need to feel without anyone around. Even if it is just sitting alone in your car.
    -Megan


    Started dating Hubby May 17 2005. Married since Aug 20 2011 
    Me:30   Hubby:31
    TTC since May 2012 
    HSG Dec 2012 Fill no spill on left side, right side normal (most physically painful experience of my life..)
    Metformin Started May 2013
    PG#1: BFP 10-21-13. EDD 6-17-14 mmc 12-9-13 m/c occurred with cytotec on 12-11-13 
    PG#2: BFP 07-25-14.  EDD 4-5-15   *Hoping this is my rainbow*
    Diagnosed with PCOS, Hypothyroid,IBD/UC, (UC in remission as of July 2014)
    *I will always love you Fetey the first.* 
    image

    ALL WELCOME!



    arschm02
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  • I agree with PPs. My only outlet sometimes is my drive home from work. I listen to music and pretty much cry all the way home. I only work 2 days a week and I feel like it's actually good to have that time to myself to just feel what I'm feeling.

    And you're not crazy. This JUST happened. My parents were at our house the other day and said I was "acting crazy, was weak and needed to see a therapist to get over it". It's been a month for me (2 MCs back to back though). I can't ever understand why people seem to think that this is something we can just 'decide' to get over. It's a feeling and emotions. We can't just say, "well I'm over it now" and move on!!! Can you tell my parents words really dug deep?

    Anyhow, I feel your pain, literally. Don't let anyone rush what you're feeling. They may not understand but they don't have to. Just take it day by day.
  • Thanks guys. I'm feeling a bit less insane today.  I'm sure it helped that we had a busy day to keep me distracted, but I also started my journal and scheduled a massage for tomorrow morning. Little by little, right?!
    Maxsmommy123112arschm02
  • Please remember that not only did you experience a huge loss but your hormones are still probably out of whack too. Grief has no timeline. Be kind and patient with yourself.
    "As soon as I saw you I knew an adventure was going to happen." ~Winnie the Pooh
    erin215665
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