Can I post a FFFC/vent here?

wifeofadam

So, tomorrow is the baby's birthday party.  We don't do parties, except for their first birthdays, so it's kind of a big deal.  The aunts and uncles travel from out of town because they know that this is one of the only occasions that we ask them to participate in celebrations with our kids.  The parties themselves are usually really simple (apart from this year where I decided to go all out), but all the family comes to our house and that's kind of a big deal.

I spent yesterday running errands - bought all the food for the party and all of the crafts for the kids.

I just found out that my older sister and her family can't make it because they think they are coming down with something.  I totally understand and am glad that they are being cautious and not exposing the rest of us to whatever they think they have.  But, selfishly, I'm sort of upset because that is six people that I already bought food for and four children who I already bought crafts for.  On top of it, my older sister has Celiac's and her kids have gluten intolerances, so I bought a bunch of gluten free treats for them that were really expensive and that I can't even give to half of my kids because of our food issues.

Then, on top of that, I just found out that my SIL isn't coming.  She is sending my niece, but choosing not to come.  This SIL backs out of everything kid related because she's been suffering from infertility and she doesn't like to be around little kids.  (If you remember when I was pregnant, this is the same SIL that my MIL kept asking me not come to family events for because my mere presence/belly upset her.)  I totally understand how being around children could be upsetting to her, but she has been doing this for four years now.  And in four years she has missed three of my kids' first birthday parties, two baby dedications at church and countless other events that were important to our kids/family.  I'm trying to love her through this, and I'm not personally offended.....but frankly, I'm mad at her for my kids' sake, because their aunt refuses to be a part of their lives.  That's probably flammable, so give it to me if I deserve it, but I just can't imagine not wanting to be involved in my niece and nephew's lives like that.

Finally (and this is totally a first world problem, so feel free to tell me I'm being a spoiled brat), remember in the cleaning thread how I told you that my cleaning lady comes twice a month?  She was supposed to come today.  I planned it on purpose so she could be here to help me the day before the party and get this house in order.  She called and cancelled on me five minutes ago.  Once again, I'm not mad at her and I'm sure she had good reasons, but selfishly, I'm like, "Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"  Now I've got to figure out how to get all of the bathrooms clean, floors mopped, and kitchen clean today, on top of preparing all of the food and decorating.

THIS is why DH told me not t go all out for this party like I was planning.  He begged me to just hang some streamers, order food out, buy a cake at the store, and let the kids play with our toys instead of planning activities.  Once again, I'm going to have to admit to him that he was right.

Feel free to tell me I'm being a baby about this.

Drea926

I don't think you're being a baby. I would be upset about all of those things too!

I understand how you feel about people bowing out. My brother, SIL and their two kids couldn't come to DS's party because DH was traveling for work. We live 3 hours apart so I know it's tricky anyway, but I was irrationally upset because we always make it to their parties. We went to my oldest nephew's birthday in August when DS was only 6 months old and we're going down for my youngest nephew's birthday next week. They're always complaining about how hard it is to travel with kids and I know they have 2 and I only have 1 but it still makes me upset that we seem to be putting in more effort on our end!

So long story short - I sympathize!

kleigh926

All of that would make me upset too. I don't think you're being a baby at all.

I'm going to add my own FFFC. I do not understand how some posters on TB post so much and seem to know so much about all kinds of situations on boards they don't even normally post on. It's not anyone on our board, just something I've noticed sometimes while lurking elsewhere. How do they have time to be on TB so much? I don't get it. I've never had a job where I was able to sit at a desk, so I know there are jobs where people have access to computers and are on more that way. But I can barely keep up with the two BMB's I'm on now, and I have one child and only work one day a week. I feel like I would have to be on the internet ALL DAY to be as in-the-know as some people and to keep up with the really fast-paced boards.

Puck1182

I say nothing wrong with complaining about first world problems as long as you keep it in perspective, which you seem to have done!

And I totally feel your pain on the infertility issue. One of DH's friends and his wife have been trying to have a baby for years now, and the wife is having a very, very hard time dealing with it. I feel for her, but she basically won't even talk to her husbands siblings if they/ their significant other is pregnant. And once I got pregnant, DH and his friend sort of drifted apart. We are *supposed* to go to their house for dinner tomorrow night, and I'm hoping it will actually happen, but I have this sinking feeling that they might cancel at the last minute. :-/

kleigh926

Oh no @sagen, I definitely don't think you're on too much. It really isn't anyone on this board. There are only a few people that I feel this way about, all from other boards I used to be a part of or boards that I've briefly lurked on

TarheelMama202

kleigh926 said:

All of that would make me upset too. I don't think you're being a baby at all. I'm going to add my own FFFC. I do not understand how some posters on TB post so much and seem to know so much about all kinds of situations on boards they don't even normally post on. It's not anyone on our board, just something I've noticed sometimes while lurking elsewhere. How do they have time to be on TB so much? I don't get it. I've never had a job where I was able to sit at a desk, so I know there are jobs where people have access to computers and are on more that way. But I can barely keep up with the two BMB's I'm on now, and I have one child and only work one day a week. I feel like I would have to be on the internet ALL DAY to be as in-the-know as some people and to keep up with the really fast-paced boards.

Girl, that was my exact thought in reading that entire Nov. 13 vs. Nov. 14 battle. Whoa. That took a lot of energy out of me just reading it. How do they have time to actually be involved? 

TarheelMama202

So, tomorrow is the baby's birthday party.  We don't do parties, except for their first birthdays, so it's kind of a big deal.  The aunts and uncles travel from out of town because they know that this is one of the only occasions that we ask them to participate in celebrations with our kids.  The parties themselves are usually really simple (apart from this year where I decided to go all out), but all the family comes to our house and that's kind of a big deal.

I spent yesterday running errands - bought all the food for the party and all of the crafts for the kids.

I just found out that my older sister and her family can't make it because they think they are coming down with something.  I totally understand and am glad that they are being cautious and not exposing the rest of us to whatever they think they have.  But, selfishly, I'm sort of upset because that is six people that I already bought food for and four children who I already bought crafts for.  On top of it, my older sister has Celiac's and her kids have gluten intolerances, so I bought a bunch of gluten free treats for them that were really expensive and that I can't even give to half of my kids because of our food issues.

Then, on top of that, I just found out that my SIL isn't coming.  She is sending my niece, but choosing not to come.  This SIL backs out of everything kid related because she's been suffering from infertility and she doesn't like to be around little kids.  (If you remember when I was pregnant, this is the same SIL that my MIL kept asking me not come to family events for because my mere presence/belly upset her.)  I totally understand how being around children could be upsetting to her, but she has been doing this for four years now.  And in four years she has missed three of my kids' first birthday parties, two baby dedications at church and countless other events that were important to our kids/family.  I'm trying to love her through this, and I'm not personally offended.....but frankly, I'm mad at her for my kids' sake, because their aunt refuses to be a part of their lives.  That's probably flammable, so give it to me if I deserve it, but I just can't imagine not wanting to be involved in my niece and nephew's lives like that.

Finally (and this is totally a first world problem, so feel free to tell me I'm being a spoiled brat), remember in the cleaning thread how I told you that my cleaning lady comes twice a month?  She was supposed to come today.  I planned it on purpose so she could be here to help me the day before the party and get this house in order.  She called and cancelled on me five minutes ago.  Once again, I'm not mad at her and I'm sure she had good reasons, but selfishly, I'm like, "Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"  Now I've got to figure out how to get all of the bathrooms clean, floors mopped, and kitchen clean today, on top of preparing all of the food and decorating.

THIS is why DH told me not t go all out for this party like I was planning.  He begged me to just hang some streamers, order food out, buy a cake at the store, and let the kids play with our toys instead of planning activities.  Once again, I'm going to have to admit to him that he was right.

Feel free to tell me I'm being a baby about this.

I would just like to say in response to the bolded that I don't think that is flammable AT ALL! Her choosing not to be a part of your kid's lives is. 

TarheelMama202

My FFFC-- Yesterday I left work early because I was just plain exhausted. I let DS stay at daycare so I could go home and take a little nap.

wifeofadam

Sagen said:

I am sorry adamwife. I wonder if people think I am on here too much, because I reply to a lot of things. Thing is I am never on here a long time. I hate cleaning so I do burst of cleaning, get on here and FB for a sec, clean some more get on failblog for a min, clean some more.. you get the point. This morning I put the baby down for a nap, then cleaned the kitchen, now here I am for probably 10 minutes or so, then I will force my lazy butt up to change the laundry over and get cleaning the bathroom. 

This is what I do, too.  Whenever I sit down to do something, like nurse a baby or eat a snack, I get on here and check stuff out.  I also work from home and have to check my email a million times a day to see if people have gotten back to me on stuff, so usually after I check there I will pop over here and see what's going on.  It probably looks like I'm on here all day long, but it's really five minutes here and there throughout the day, and then maybe for a while longer while the kids are down for naps in the afternoon.

Drea926

pinesnow said:

+adamwife+ said:

Sagen said:

I am sorry adamwife. I wonder if people think I am on here too much, because I reply to a lot of things. Thing is I am never on here a long time. I hate cleaning so I do burst of cleaning, get on here and FB for a sec, clean some more get on failblog for a min, clean some more.. you get the point. This morning I put the baby down for a nap, then cleaned the kitchen, now here I am for probably 10 minutes or so, then I will force my lazy butt up to change the laundry over and get cleaning the bathroom. 

This is what I do, too.  Whenever I sit down to do something, like nurse a baby or eat a snack, I get on here and check stuff out.  I also work from home and have to check my email a million times a day to see if people have gotten back to me on stuff, so usually after I check there I will pop over here and see what's going on.  It probably looks like I'm on here all day long, but it's really five minutes here and there throughout the day, and then maybe for a while longer while the kids are down for naps in the afternoon.

This is exactly how I do things. Laundry, then a little fb. Dishes, then a little bump. I lurk more than I contribute but I am still on here for a bunch of little spirts throughout the day. 

Count me in as a Bump grazer too! :P

lbonga1

adamwife, I would be frustrated by all of that too. I always hope for people to RSVP to events like that in a timely manner so that I don't have to prep for people that don't end up coming. Can you make a game out of cleaning so your kids will help you? 

I have 2 FFFC's- I let DD pull all the stuff out of my wallet this morning because she was entertained, and I had a lot of work to do. That lasted for all of 15 minutes before she started putting my credit cards in the bunny cage. *sigh*

My second is that last night after I came home from work my FI tells me to not go in the kitchen because a baby food jar broke, and he asked me what towel to use to clean it up. He started cleaning it then asked for my help. Really? Sweeping and wiping up a spill is not that hard. So I ask if he can wait 5 minutes because I just got home. He replies that he's already doing it so he'll just finish. A half hour later I walk into the kitchen and step on a piece of glass and realize he never finished cleaning it. I cleaned it up and lied and told him the glass cut me to make him feel bad for being so lazy. 

Drea926

katelyn1434 said:

Mine is that I know DD watches too much TV. She is so busy it's the only thing that gives me a little time to do anything unless she is napping. She has never been a cuddler and sits for maybe 2 pages of a story before she is wiggling out of my arms to walk around and destroy my house. When she hears the Doc McStuffins theme song she will sit in her jumparoo and watch. We play in the playroom and go to a gym class once a week that we drive 40 minutes to just to do something different. I cannot wait for warmer weather, the beach and the pool. Being cooped up in the house Monday-Friday because it's 5 degrees out just plain sucks.

I would love it if I could get DS to sit and watch a show! I'll throw PBS on and he'll watch for like 5-10 minutes tops.

TarheelMama202

katelyn1434 said:

Mine is that I know DD watches too much TV. She is so busy it's the only thing that gives me a little time to do anything unless she is napping. She has never been a cuddler and sits for maybe 2 pages of a story before she is wiggling out of my arms to walk around and destroy my house. When she hears the Doc McStuffins theme song she will sit in her jumparoo and watch. We play in the playroom and go to a gym class once a week that we drive 40 minutes to just to do something different. I cannot wait for warmer weather, the beach and the pool. Being cooped up in the house Monday-Friday because it's 5 degrees out just plain sucks.

I would love it if I could get DS to sit and watch a show! I'll throw PBS on and he'll watch for like 5-10 minutes tops.

Same! I was one of those moms who was all about following the AAP's "No TV until two"recommendation...until DS got sick a few weeks ago. Seriously, the kid needed to rest, but he refused. I put on PBS kids and he was like...

Rynleigh

That is a super sucky series of unfortunate events.  

Puck1182

Ooh, ok now I have one. I'm not terribly upset by this, just sort of annoyed. I'm giving DD the opportunity to self wean as long as she does so before she turns 2. DH is the best man in his friend's wedding in October. The wedding is at the beach, about 3 1/2 hours from us.

But I found out today it's adults-only, so if DD is still nursing in October, I may have to drive 7 hours round trip by myself in a single day for this wedding if I want to not end up with clogged ducts and possibly mastitis, because I can't pump for shit anymore. I'm keeping my fingers cross that DD will only be nursing once a day by then so I can maybe spend one night there and drive home in the morning without getting too uncomfortable.

wifeofadam

lilsebastian said:

Adamwife, I'm sorry! If I lived close, I'd come over and help! Last weekend, we had DD's party, and I feel like a lot of things fell apart at the last minute, too. I feel your pain. DH was no help at all and I was up until 4:30 and then up for the day at 7 getting things ready. While I was fuming, I was reminded that the party is to celebrate the gift the Lord gave us in DD, and that it is a special gift I can give her to spend a day celebrating her, even if no one else gets it. And, of course, at the party, everyone was relaxing but me, but every time I wasn't moving around, I was sitting with DD, feeding her, helping her open presents, etc. and I really treasure the day, even though it wasn't much of a "party" for me. I know you don't really need advice, I just wanted to encourage you, friend! What you're doing matters- even if people's responses make it feel like it doesn't!

Don't ever get the impression that I don't need advice.  I certainly do and yours was very helpful here!  Thanks for helping me put it all in perspective

wifeofadam

Puck1182 said:

Ooh, ok now I have one. I'm not terribly upset by this, just sort of annoyed. I'm giving DD the opportunity to self wean as long as she does so before she turns 2. DH is the best man in his friend's wedding in October. The wedding is at the beach, about 3 1/2 hours from us. But I found out today it's adults-only, so if DD is still nursing in October, I may have to drive 7 hours round trip by myself in a single day for this wedding if I want to not end up with clogged ducts and possibly mastitis, because I can't pump for shit anymore. I'm keeping my fingers cross that DD will only be nursing once a day by then so I can maybe spend one night there and drive home in the morning without getting too uncomfortable.

You should be good by October.  By that point you could skip an entire day and probably be fine!

Here's my confession/UO - I'm irrationally annoyed by child-free weddings.  I get it that some people want fancy schmancy weddings and all that, but do they know how hard it is for people to attend when they have small children?  We're invited to one in May and it's such a pain to get a sitter for all of the kids.  The wedding is also out of town, so like @Puck1182, we're going to be driving a lot that day and into the early morning since it's an evening wedding.  We don't have the money to buy new, fancy clothes for this, a wedding present (from an insanely expensive registry), gas to get there and back, and a hotel overnight.  Yet, we want to be there for our friends.

I guess I'm just a country hick.  Give me a good, old-fashioned wedding where there are kids running around barefoot on the dance floor, I can wear my ordinary church clothes, and the food is served in a buffet.

ETA - I hope the people who had fancy kid-free weddings aren't offended.  I'm sure the weddings were lovely and I would have loved to attend them before I had kids!

kleigh926

Adamwife, I don't do pricey registries. If there are no cheaper items on a registry, people get $20 in a card as a wedding present. We aren't rolling in money here.

wifeofadam

kleigh926 said:

Adamwife, I don't do pricey registries. If there are no cheaper items on a registry, people get $20 in a card as a wedding present. We aren't rolling in money here.

I've never seen anything like this registry.  Even the spatula is expensive.  We're older, so thee friends are established in their careers and have lived on their own for a while.  I get it that they already have everything they need, so if they're going to register for something, they might as well get something nicer than what they have.  I really like buying off of the registry, but it's hard when I can only afford one of the water glasses.  lol

Rynleigh

Man... I created registries for my boys' because I didn't know how I was going to pull together everything I'd need for twins, and I even posted it up for my family with explicit instructions to just find comparable items for cheap or even second hand somewhere other than Amazon/BRU (where I had the registries), and then mark them off as "bought elsewhere" so no one else duplicated stuff. I will never understand the need for overpriced goods. There are some things where there is a huge difference in quality that makes a big difference in functionality.... like a vacuum... but a spatula? Seriously? I'll get a spatula at the dollar store and be perfectly happy with it. 

Puck1182

+adamwife+ said:

Puck1182 said:

Ooh, ok now I have one. I'm not terribly upset by this, just sort of annoyed. I'm giving DD the opportunity to self wean as long as she does so before she turns 2. DH is the best man in his friend's wedding in October. The wedding is at the beach, about 3 1/2 hours from us.

But I found out today it's adults-only, so if DD is still nursing in October, I may have to drive 7 hours round trip by myself in a single day for this wedding if I want to not end up with clogged ducts and possibly mastitis, because I can't pump for shit anymore. I'm keeping my fingers cross that DD will only be nursing once a day by then so I can maybe spend one night there and drive home in the morning without getting too uncomfortable.

You should be good by October.  By that point you could skip an entire day and probably be fine!

Here's my confession/UO - I'm irrationally annoyed by child-free weddings.  I get it that some people want fancy schmancy weddings and all that, but do they know how hard it is for people to attend when they have small children?  We're invited to one in May and it's such a pain to get a sitter for all of the kids.  The wedding is also out of town, so like @Puck1182, we're going to be driving a lot that day and into the early morning since it's an evening wedding.  We don't have the money to buy new, fancy clothes for this, a wedding present (from an insanely expensive registry), gas to get there and back, and a hotel overnight.  Yet, we want to be there for our friends.

I guess I'm just a country hick.  Give me a good, old-fashioned wedding where there are kids running around barefoot on the dance floor, I can wear my ordinary church clothes, and the food is served in a buffet.


That's good to know! I don't actually know anyone IRL who nursed that long, I just know that right now I start getting very uncomfortable around the 12 hour mark, so the thought of going a whole day scares me a bit.

I don't mind adult only weddings as long as the bride and groom understand that people may not be able to attend because of it. We couldn't have kids at our wedding except for the flower girl and ring bearer, because then we would have had to start cutting entire families from the guest list. We physically could not have fit more people in the room and we had to draw the line somewhere. So I'm sympathetic to the situation, particularly when it's a numbers thing. But I also enjoy an excuse to dress up, so I enjoy the "fancy schmancy" weddings!

And I guess here's another FFFC: While I enjoy a casual wedding too, I'm a little bit of a snob in that I still prefer a "classy" laid-back wedding. So it doesn't have to be a fancy, expensive affair by any means, but if your DJ starts passing out inflatable music instruments and plays the chicken dance and the electric slide and such, I will probably not enjoy myself. I just find that type of stuff so hokey, it drives me nuts!

SidraJedi

fishes said:

Oh I'm sorry! no flaming coming from me! That all sounds frustrating and stressful, (and I hate having to admit my DH was right about something ). If I wasn't on the other side of the country I'd come help!

This.

Meggiemuggins

Puck1182 said:

Puck1182 said:

Ooh, ok now I have one. I'm not terribly upset by this, just sort of annoyed. I'm giving DD the opportunity to self wean as long as she does so before she turns 2. DH is the best man in his friend's wedding in October. The wedding is at the beach, about 3 1/2 hours from us. But I found out today it's adults-only, so if DD is still nursing in October, I may have to drive 7 hours round trip by myself in a single day for this wedding if I want to not end up with clogged ducts and possibly mastitis, because I can't pump for shit anymore. I'm keeping my fingers cross that DD will only be nursing once a day by then so I can maybe spend one night there and drive home in the morning without getting too uncomfortable.

You should be good by October.  By that point you could skip an entire day and probably be fine!

Here's my confession/UO - I'm irrationally annoyed by child-free weddings.  I get it that some people want fancy schmancy weddings and all that, but do they know how hard it is for people to attend when they have small children?  We're invited to one in May and it's such a pain to get a sitter for all of the kids.  The wedding is also out of town, so like @Puck1182, we're going to be driving a lot that day and into the early morning since it's an evening wedding.  We don't have the money to buy new, fancy clothes for this, a wedding present (from an insanely expensive registry), gas to get there and back, and a hotel overnight.  Yet, we want to be there for our friends.

I guess I'm just a country hick.  Give me a good, old-fashioned wedding where there are kids running around barefoot on the dance floor, I can wear my ordinary church clothes, and the food is served in a buffet.

That's good to know! I don't actually know anyone IRL who nursed that long, I just know that right now I start getting very uncomfortable around the 12 hour mark, so the thought of going a whole day scares me a bit. I don't mind adult only weddings as long as the bride and groom understand that people may not be able to attend because of it. We couldn't have kids at our wedding except for the flower girl and ring bearer, because then we would have had to start cutting entire families from the guest list. We physically could not have fit more people in the room and we had to draw the line somewhere. So I'm sympathetic to the situation, particularly when it's a numbers thing. But I also enjoy an excuse to dress up, so I enjoy the "fancy schmancy" weddings! And I guess here's another FFFC: While I enjoy a casual wedding too, I'm a little bit of a snob in that I still prefer a "classy" laid-back wedding. So it doesn't have to be a fancy, expensive affair by any means, but if your DJ starts passing out inflatable music instruments and plays the chicken dance and the electric slide and such, I will probably not enjoy myself. I just find that type of stuff so hokey, it drives me nuts!

Same here - our reception room was tight for space already.  Babies could come, of course, but between them, my cousins have 15 kids.  At $75+ per head for the food alone, I simply couldn't afford to feed their twelve year-olds.  When I told them cousins it was adult-only, they were all stoked for a night out. 

cinnasugar

Teacher Clark said:

I'm annoyed by most events that aren't family friendly. Almost everyone I know has kids, why don't we make it easy on those of us who want to bring our kids along for whatever reason.


I agree with this.  Friends (who also have kids the same age as ours) wanted an adult only party to watch a football game.  Okay, I get an adult only affair as much as the next person, but for a football game?  I don't think so.  I think I am just bitter because we don't have grandparents that live close so I don't always have an easy, cheap sitter. 

On the other hand, I don't mind adult-only weddings.  Guess I'm a hypocrite.

octobermama87

@adamwife - I think the worst part of this is your SIL. She's being so selfish and childish by not wanting to attend your family's events because of her unfortunate circumstances. It's rude. I don't think I could've put up with it for as long as you have. I feel bad for your kids that they have such an unreasonable auntie.  [-(  someone should flame HER for being that way towards your family. 

tamarar5

@+adamwife+ I'm so sorry that you're SIL is being so selfish! I get how hard it must be too be struggling with IF, but that shouldn't give you a free pass to bail out on all family functions- esoterically since you said she is sending her daughter and not attending?! That is the part that would drive me nuts. I'm sorry, but I'm not offering a babysitting service at a party that I'm throwing. I have enough trouble keeping my own kids in line!

I also disagree with child-free weddings, though I understand some people want this for either financial or logistical reasons. One of my cousins got married when I was 25. I was so stoked because I don't get to see her often and I really wanted to celebrate with her. I was living with my grandparents for school then and they sent my invite there. I got a new, black tie dress, RSVP, took time of from my job, and then the day before the wedding her mother called and said that the wedding was going to be "kid free.". Remember I said I was 25? And they sent me an invite??? Completely bitchy thing to do.

At this point, though, because I live so far away from my friends and family, if there is a kid-free function, I simply can't make it. I can't bring kids, but I can't leave them overnight with a sitter, so....

@kleigh, I often wonder if people think I'm on TB all the time... But then I realize that I AM on TB all day.

ally2011

Puck1182 said:

Puck1182 said:

Ooh, ok now I have one. I'm not terribly upset by this, just sort of annoyed. I'm giving DD the opportunity to self wean as long as she does so before she turns 2. DH is the best man in his friend's wedding in October. The wedding is at the beach, about 3 1/2 hours from us. But I found out today it's adults-only, so if DD is still nursing in October, I may have to drive 7 hours round trip by myself in a single day for this wedding if I want to not end up with clogged ducts and possibly mastitis, because I can't pump for shit anymore. I'm keeping my fingers cross that DD will only be nursing once a day by then so I can maybe spend one night there and drive home in the morning without getting too uncomfortable.

You should be good by October.  By that point you could skip an entire day and probably be fine!

Here's my confession/UO - I'm irrationally annoyed by child-free weddings.  I get it that some people want fancy schmancy weddings and all that, but do they know how hard it is for people to attend when they have small children?  We're invited to one in May and it's such a pain to get a sitter for all of the kids.  The wedding is also out of town, so like @Puck1182, we're going to be driving a lot that day and into the early morning since it's an evening wedding.  We don't have the money to buy new, fancy clothes for this, a wedding present (from an insanely expensive registry), gas to get there and back, and a hotel overnight.  Yet, we want to be there for our friends.

I guess I'm just a country hick.  Give me a good, old-fashioned wedding where there are kids running around barefoot on the dance floor, I can wear my ordinary church clothes, and the food is served in a buffet.

That's good to know! I don't actually know anyone IRL who nursed that long, I just know that right now I start getting very uncomfortable around the 12 hour mark, so the thought of going a whole day scares me a bit. I don't mind adult only weddings as long as the bride and groom understand that people may not be able to attend because of it. We couldn't have kids at our wedding except for the flower girl and ring bearer, because then we would have had to start cutting entire families from the guest list. We physically could not have fit more people in the room and we had to draw the line somewhere. So I'm sympathetic to the situation, particularly when it's a numbers thing. But I also enjoy an excuse to dress up, so I enjoy the "fancy schmancy" weddings! And I guess here's another FFFC: While I enjoy a casual wedding too, I'm a little bit of a snob in that I still prefer a "classy" laid-back wedding. So it doesn't have to be a fancy, expensive affair by any means, but if your DJ starts passing out inflatable music instruments and plays the chicken dance and the electric slide and such, I will probably not enjoy myself. I just find that type of stuff so hokey, it drives me nuts!

I am still nursing 3 times a day, but have done a day w/ only 2 I think.  Obviously I am no expert, but I would say that another option is to just self express if you get uncomfortable, however often that is.  Early on I did that into a toilet at BRU (I know, but what's a girl to do?) when I was new to bfing and didn't know that bad things happen when a new nursing mommy is away from her new baby for 5 hours (later she started rejecting bottles so this issue went away, lol).  

Anywho, even with new mom engorgement, that got me through.  Drink a bunch of water and eat some fat and your supply will probably be fine, even w/ skipping a day.  I wouldn't stress and try to let it be something you enjoy