At what point is stress "too much"

Jennicillin

This is my third pregnancy, and I've had plenty of stress.  Moving while pregnant, husband gone for work while pregnant with a toddler, day to day money, life, my kid used a sharpie on my favorite shirt stress.  It's never reached epic proportions though, hard, but never a worry it's bad for the pregnancy in any way.

I wish I could go into more depth, but due to my husbands job with the military I can't.  It would probably be easier to understand if I could, but he's at a make or break point for his entire career, and we're watching it lean dangerously towards break, and KILLING our 10year plan and losing everything we've spend our entire marriage working towards.  And we have zero control over any of it.  Our lives are being determined by a few government guys on a panel while we wait.  (For those of you that are military this is not CRSP/ Career Retention or Disciplinary..)  It's scary, can't eat, sleep, we've both gotten sick from the stress level kind of stuff.

I talked to my OB (who I love) and she said that I just need to rest and take care of myself and we can talk more at my next appointment in a week.

Rest is impossible, and I can't keep food down (even with zofran) because of the stress.  I'm genuinely starting to worry about the affect on my baby.   We've been watching a lot be piled onto our plates over the last month and now it's gotten to a whole new level.

Not really sure if this is a vent or need advice.  I know we have plenty of supportive family and friends we could fall back on, and back up plans, and all sorts of options.  But it doesn't take away from the stress of not being allowed to control our own fates, or the mourning that would come with losing all that we were planning for and starting over from scratch.

I know we will be ok, somehow.  I just feel so helpless...

BeachM

I'm sorry, I can't even imagine.  It's not the same, but DH is waiting on the O-4 promotion board to release their results in August and it's stressful to think about what happens if he's passed over.  Multiply it by 100 and I'm sure that's what you're feeling.  The waiting has to just be awful for you.

Go talk to someone.  My friends who've dealt with anxiety tell everyone who asks them about it to find a therapist.  They all say it helps more than meds even though they've been on those too.  I can't remember which branch your husband is in, but call whatever your version of Fleet & Family Services is, contact the chaplain, ask friends for recommendations if you know anyone who has seen a therapist, see who is in Tricare's network, etc. 

chase16

I'm sorry you're going through this If he's Army, they have MFLCs (Military Family Life Consultants) who are all certified therapists that you can talk to. How soon will you know if its "make" or "break"?

Jennicillin

We just got word from DC and it was GOOD news...

So relieved right now I can't even tell you.

We still have a lot of other stressers, and I'll probably be going to Fleet and Family just to work on some of the other stuff, but not sick to my stomach for the first time in days!

Thanks for all the support!  So nice to be able to vent it out!

shutaff

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. My husband is Army, so I understand the stresses that come with this lifestyle. I second the ladies who mentioned either talking to a therapist on post or maybe asking your doctor to refer you to one who deals with pregnant ladies. Even if you have supportive family and friends, a professional may be able to hit from a different angle that would ease your mind a little. And it's cliche, but remember that everything really does happen for a reason.

absterboss

Glad for the good news! I would suggest an unbiased person to talk to. Sometimes talking to family and friends although nice feels daunting or like they are just saying those things because they're friends. A person not involved (a therapist, priest, so on) will listen and give help as an outsider looking in. Good luck, and now I hope you can take time to relax and have "you" time.