I am officially disgusted with myself

melody921

I spent an entire month putting up with Jillian Michaels' peppy bullshit and didn't even lose any weight, although I was getting more toned. But now, for the past week and a half, I'm sliding back into slothdom. I choose sleep over exercise in the mornings, drink entirely too much coffee and eat entirely too much of everything. Most of my clothes don't fit, and the ones that do are super uncomfortable. I absolutely refuse to buy anything in the next size -- both bc I don't want to spend the money and bc then I know I'll never slim down again if I do. I have steadily gained weight since having DD and even more since weaning her, and am now about 20 pounds over where I want to be. I'm just really angry right now. I'm actually contemplating a juice cleanse or something similar to jump-start a new eating plan. I've never felt like this in my life.

willy_gert

Ugh!  I am sorry @melody921!  Do you have IG?  I like that kelbel has been posting her daily workout "accomplishment" and she said it has definitely helped her stay accountable....  Is there something like that you could do?

I am in a similar boat just been there longer.  Due to the incredible decrease in our monthly income I had to stop my "helper pill" and have since started gaining again.  I am totally disgusted with myself because I know I am emotional eating etc, but I just can't stop.

I hope you find something to help and find something you enjoy doing to exercise!

Holly_1007

I'm so sorry Mel. Losing weight is hard. I've been trying to lose weight for about a month or so, and I've hardly lost a pound. It is super frustrating and discouraging. I bought one pair of jeans in the next size up just so I had something for those truly awful days. Hopefully you can find something motivating soon! Is your dh on board with you? Can you have him help at all?

BPer

Honestly, I did not lose a single pound from when I started Jillian Michaels, to whenn I stopped a few months later because I basically pulled every muscle in my chest.  BUT my body really changed.

As a jumpstarter to better eating, I highly recommend the 17 day diet.  I always drop 7-10 pounds in the first cycle of 17 days, which is basically all of the bloat and crap from eating so many carbs, so it gives me motivation to stick with it.

Edit: Words are hard this morning.

redneckmomma25

I am struggling as well. I take it a day at a time. I track my points for WW. I go to the gym. It is so hard. I am battling this morning. I want a bagel but I ate my yogurt. I'm here to talk if you would like. PM me. I may not be good at motivating myself but I will gladly try and help you in any way I can.

Stasi

Hugs! Don't be too hard on yourself. Is it possible that you were gaining muscle so you didn't lose any weight? I think that's a pretty common, especially if you hadn't worked out much before starting Jillian! I would focus on the positive things....how much stronger you must be now that you've done Jillian for a month, the fact that you toned up when you were doing it everyday.

Just be gentle with yourself. You're allowed to backslide, you're allowed to have days where you feel bad, but it doesn't mean you can't pick up where you left off tomorrow.

Have you talked to your DH at all? Sometimes I ask him to help keep me accountable and remind me how awesome I feel once I workout, or skip a sweet snack...I do this with friends too...

Good luck hun!

BarefootContessa

I, too, am on WW and am always here to lend an ear! You can do it. The best thing to do in this situation is NOT throw in the towel. Acknowledge that you let yourself down, but don't dwell on it. 

thebanich

I know how you feel. I was putting on a pair of slacks this morning and I could barely button them. # weeks ago they were noticeably looser.  I am going to go downstairs and just walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes today. I swear. Someone punch me if I don't.

I'm sorry you feel crappy melody. Don't be so hard on yourself! And as PPs said. It can really help to have someone else (DH, a friend IRL, a fellow bumpie) to talk with and keep each other accountable. 

And don't read marisa's post about ice cream.

eshee8198

melody921 said:

I spent an entire month putting up with Jillian Michaels' peppy bullshit and didn't even lose any weight, although I was getting more toned. But now, for the past week and a half, I'm sliding back into slothdom. I choose sleep over exercise in the mornings, drink entirely too much coffee and eat entirely too much of everything. Most of my clothes don't fit, and the ones that do are super uncomfortable. I absolutely refuse to buy anything in the next size -- both bc I don't want to spend the money and bc then I know I'll never slim down again if I do. I have steadily gained weight since having DD and even more since weaning her, and am now about 20 pounds over where I want to be. I'm just really angry right now. I'm actually contemplating a juice cleanse or something similar to jump-start a new eating plan. I've never felt like this in my life.

If you want someone to commiserate with, I am here. Worst of all, my cousin, who had a April13 baby, gave me a box of her "hand me downs" the other day, and they're all two sizes too small.

melody921

BPer said:

Honestly, I did not lose a single pound from when I started Jillian Michaels, to whenn I stopped a few months later because I basically pulled every muscle in my chest.  BUT my body really changed.

As a jumpstarter to better eating, I highly recommend the 17 day diet.  I always drop 7-10 pounds in the first cycle of 17 days, which is basically all of the bloat and crap from eating so many carbs, so it gives me motivation to stick with it.

Edit: Words are hard this morning.

@BPer, what is the 17-day diet? @willy_gert, I'm not on Instagram, but you'd think the damn exercise app I use would be enough motivation. @Holly_1007, DH doesn't really want to hear me bitch, lol. It's not that he's unsupportive. He will actually say, "Wow, I can't believe you got up at 5:30 to run. Way to go. But he is of the "You look fine as you are" mentality. @redneckmomma25, what are you doing for exercise? Maybe I need a new plan. I honestly think my biggest thing though is food. Even when I work out hardcore, I just eat too much. DH leaves for a business trip Sunday, so maybe that's a good time to start something new since I won't have as much social eating going on. What I think I need to do is treadmill every day, coupled with a workout video. But time constraints are killing me. And right now, I'm hungry, dammit.

tinyhumantoe

I'm in such a slump that I don't even know what to say in here.

Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  My face is so square and not cute when I am over a certain weight.  It's like I get jowls! 

melody921

tinyhumantoe said:

I'm in such a slump that I don't even know what to say in here.

Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  My face is so square and not cute when I am over a certain weight.  It's like I get jowls! 

My body looks square right now. Not cool yo.

BPer

https://www.amazon.com/The-17-Day-Diet-Designed/dp/1451648650

It's basically a diet with 4 cycles of 17 days to reset your metabolism.  The first cycle is fucking hard.  The only carbs you can eat are some yogurt, and fruit (but only before 2pm).  Lots of veggies, lean proteins.  But I swear by it.  Whenever I'm feeling sluggish and generally shitty, I do this.  Even a few days makes a huge difference in how I feel.

kelbel527

Aw, so sorry you're feeling this way!  It's so easy to get back in a slump and so hard to stay at it.  Until this past month, I hadn't done any exercise in over 6 months, I was definitely feeling like I need a jump start.

I'm doing couch to 5K (thanks for the shout-out @willy_gert), and I do feel like it helps me be accountable to other people and I've gotten great support from some of the ladies on here. (ETA: posting on IG helps me)

I'm also running with my husband 2 days/week, which really helps me.  Last Sunday he was on a treadmill next to me and I saw he got to a 5K and realized, I could do that too.  So he helped kick in my competitive edge.

Is it possible for you to work out with your husband?  Or do you have a friend to workout with?  I'm always way more accountable when I have someone to motivate me.  I was in the best shape of my life in college when my roommate and I ran/worked out together 4 days/week.

Though I'm working out, my eating isn't perfect, so unfortunately the weight isn't falling off or anything.  I need to get that under control a bit more...

mrsbhk22

I'm so sorry it's been a struggle. I struggle after each kid.

I've done some unhealthy things in the past, but I've recently found my groove. I highly recommend the 21 day fix. It's a program that includes a 30 min exercise video a day (with modifications for the beginning) and a diet plan. It focuses on clean eating and portion control, but gives ideas for restaurant eating too. I love it. Between that and p90x3 since Jan 1, I'm down 8 lbs (wanted to lose 10-15) but have lost over 14" (!!!!!) in my waist and hips. 30 mins a day.

Edit: the exercise comes with like 7 different routines: 2 cardio, Pilates, yoga, upper focus, lower focus, and abs. So you won't get bored doing the same thing every day.

Pm me if you want me details.

melody921

kelbel527 said:

Aw, so sorry you're feeling this way!  It's so easy to get back in a slump and so hard to stay at it.  Until this past month, I hadn't done any exercise in over 6 months, I was definitely feeling like I need a jump start.

I'm doing couch to 5K (thanks for the shout-out @willy_gert), and I do feel like it helps me be accountable to other people and I've gotten great support from some of the ladies on here. (ETA: posting on IG helps me)

I'm also running with my husband 2 days/week, which really helps me.  Last Sunday he was on a treadmill next to me and I saw he got to a 5K and realized, I could do that too.  So he helped kick in my competitive edge.

Is it possible for you to work out with your husband?  Or do you have a friend to workout with?  I'm always way more accountable when I have someone to motivate me.  I was in the best shape of my life in college when my roommate and I ran/worked out together 4 days/week.

Though I'm working out, my eating isn't perfect, so unfortunately the weight isn't falling off or anything.  I need to get that under control a bit more...

Once it gets a little warmer, I have a friend to run with. But for now, it's me and the treadmill, which I don't really mind. I just need to get myself down to the basement, not sleeping in the mornings. 

melody921

mrsbhk22 said:

I'm so sorry it's been a struggle. I struggle after each kid. I've done some unhealthy things in the past, but I've recently found my groove. I highly recommend the 21 day fix. It's a program that includes a 30 min exercise video a day (with modifications for the beginning) and a diet plan. It focuses on clean eating and portion control, but gives ideas for restaurant eating too. I love it. Between that and p90x3 since Jan 1, I'm down 8 lbs (wanted to lose 10-15) but have lost over 14" (!!!!!) in my waist and hips. 30 mins a day. Edit: the exercise comes with like 7 different routines: 2 cardio, Pilates, yoga, upper focus, lower focus, and abs. So you won't get bored doing the same thing every day. Pm me if you want me details.

You've got a PM @mrsbhk22

GR8TDANEMOM

Losing weight is soooo hard. I used to be so good at dieting and now I suck. I keep losing 5 pounds and then gaining it back. I wanted to lose 20 pounds before I got pregnant and I didn't and it depresses me. Even if you aren't losing weight working out, it is still do good for you and I bet your body shape is changing. Maybe a cleanse is a good idea to jump start weight loss and really motivate you. And hey a salad for dinner will feel great after a cleanse.

Flamingemu

I lost a lot of weight years ago, yet I can't motivate myself to lose the last 20lbs (now 25) that I seem to be holding on to.

Lent starts soon. I am giving up sweets this year. I am hoping that will break my neverending must have something sweet to finish each meal. As I type that I am thinking of an awesome cookie that I can have after lunch if I go to a particular restaurant. So bad!

Basically, it is never easy. Talking about it helps. We started a check-in at the beginning of the year and it sort of died off. Want to start it back up?

redneckmomma25

I just downloaded the c5k app

melody921

Flamingemu said:

I lost a lot of weight years ago, yet I can't motivate myself to lose the last 20lbs (now 25) that I seem to be holding on to.

Lent starts soon. I am giving up sweets this year. I am hoping that will break my neverending must have something sweet to finish each meal. As I type that I am thinking of an awesome cookie that I can have after lunch if I go to a particular restaurant. So bad!

Basically, it is never easy. Talking about it helps. We started a check-in at the beginning of the year and it sort of died off. Want to start it back up?

I would be game for a check-in.

melody921

knitsmagee said:

Melody, I am so sorry you feel like that right now.  I hear ya though.  I am trying to be move positive about my body and the way I look this year both to myself and in front of my daughter, even though I know I need to get back to exercising.  I was doing really well until I had to go shopping for a bathing suit this past Saturday.  It was awful and I ended up crying in the fitting room at Macy's in front of my mom and my sister.  

Between working 1.5 hours away from home, MH working nights and someone in my house being sick almost constantly since December it just isn't happening.

I also started C25K this week.  I'm hoping to run a 10K in September.  If only it wasn't so damn cold out right now!

What's scaring the hell out of me right now is that I am signed up to run a half-marathon (my first) in September. But right now, I've lost so much running ground that I can barely do a 5K. WTF.

MommaP12

@melody921 big hugs.  Weight issues suck.  I'm one of those people that have to fight an uphill battle for every pound lost and I looked worse after each kid (good think I'm not going for a third, I' probably look like jaba the hut).  

Every single piece of food I put in my mouth is a battle in my mind of "should I eat this, I should make a better choice, my pants already hurt, blah blah."  It sucks.  

I think it's hard to get motivated with the bad winter we've had and once you can run outdoors you'll be rejuvenated I bet.

hmp1

Kelbel's 5K posts have inspired me too. DH loves doing 5k and is always hounding me to join him. Now that it is getting warmer, I'm going to dust off the old jogging stroller and sign us up for a couple this spring. We also have soccer coming up so James is really into stretches and practicing. I do line drills with him and stretch. Anything to get me off my butt.

thebanich

Bathing suit shopping is the worst.

willy_gert

Banich4eva said:

Bathing suit shopping is the worst.

Totally!  I was/ am considering getting the miracle suit from Wally World that everybody talks about, but I have a long torso and am fearful it won't fit right.  But I really want to do water walking this summer and get Luci into swim lessons.

MommaP12

Banich4eva said:

Bathing suit shopping is the worst.

I have to do it soon because we are going on a vacation in mid May with the in laws.  I'm certain I'll look more pregnant than my pregnant SIL (due in July) because I'm such a damn apple shape.

OceanLover26

I fell off the Jillian wagon   BUT my husband is helping me get back into working out.  I just got sick and couldn't breathe for the cardio, and then my motivation died because I got stressed over this new job I'm starting to train for, and school on top of it I just gave up.  MH is working out every night and helping me use hand weights and control my form while I do it.  It's really helping me get back in the groove and we are watching what we eat together.  He's so enthusiastic so I'm trying to feed off of his motivation.  Sorry you feel so down, just keep at it!  I might be looking into some of the things the other girls mentioned, too! 

phytoocean

I am doing WW, and have lost a pretty good amount, but have been stuck at the same weight since Jan 1. Mainly in the winter I just want to hibernate and eat all of the things. Plus, I get angry sometimes that I have to work this hard at it.

kelbel527

melody921 said:

kelbel527 said:

Aw, so sorry you're feeling this way!  It's so easy to get back in a slump and so hard to stay at it.  Until this past month, I hadn't done any exercise in over 6 months, I was definitely feeling like I need a jump start.

I'm doing couch to 5K (thanks for the shout-out @willy_gert), and I do feel like it helps me be accountable to other people and I've gotten great support from some of the ladies on here. (ETA: posting on IG helps me)

I'm also running with my husband 2 days/week, which really helps me.  Last Sunday he was on a treadmill next to me and I saw he got to a 5K and realized, I could do that too.  So he helped kick in my competitive edge.

Is it possible for you to work out with your husband?  Or do you have a friend to workout with?  I'm always way more accountable when I have someone to motivate me.  I was in the best shape of my life in college when my roommate and I ran/worked out together 4 days/week.

Though I'm working out, my eating isn't perfect, so unfortunately the weight isn't falling off or anything.  I need to get that under control a bit more...

Once it gets a little warmer, I have a friend to run with. But for now, it's me and the treadmill, which I don't really mind. I just need to get myself down to the basement, not sleeping in the mornings. 

Do you have time in the evenings?  I suck at running in the mornings, I love my sleep too much. 

@flamingemu - I could get behind a check-in again as well!

MommaP12

phytoocean said:

I am doing WW, and have lost a pretty good amount, but have been stuck at the same weight since Jan 1. Mainly in the winter I just want to hibernate and eat all of the things. Plus, I get angry sometimes that I have to work this hard at it.

@phytoocean you put it perfectly - I too get angry that I have to work this hard it!  And, despite my weight being in the healthy range/BMI, i have an inner tube around my middle that sucks royally and I'm not willing to live a carbless/dessertless life!!   I really should lose at least 10-15 more pounds.

Anyone ever try coffee pills?  Remember Jillian Michaels got in trouble for it?  The thing is they aren't bad for you really (If JM promotes it it's totes safe, right? ha.) and I know people that added them to their diet/exercise routine and it increased the loss for them.   Just curious....

melody921

kelbel527 said:

melody921 said:

kelbel527 said:

Aw, so sorry you're feeling this way!  It's so easy to get back in a slump and so hard to stay at it.  Until this past month, I hadn't done any exercise in over 6 months, I was definitely feeling like I need a jump start.

I'm doing couch to 5K (thanks for the shout-out @willy_gert), and I do feel like it helps me be accountable to other people and I've gotten great support from some of the ladies on here. (ETA: posting on IG helps me)

I'm also running with my husband 2 days/week, which really helps me.  Last Sunday he was on a treadmill next to me and I saw he got to a 5K and realized, I could do that too.  So he helped kick in my competitive edge.

Is it possible for you to work out with your husband?  Or do you have a friend to workout with?  I'm always way more accountable when I have someone to motivate me.  I was in the best shape of my life in college when my roommate and I ran/worked out together 4 days/week.

Though I'm working out, my eating isn't perfect, so unfortunately the weight isn't falling off or anything.  I need to get that under control a bit more...

Once it gets a little warmer, I have a friend to run with. But for now, it's me and the treadmill, which I don't really mind. I just need to get myself down to the basement, not sleeping in the mornings. 

Do you have time in the evenings?  I suck at running in the mornings, I love my sleep too much. 

@flamingemu - I could get behind a check-in again as well!

It would be about 8 p.m. I could do it, but I sleep better if I don't work out too late. I just need to drag my ass out of bed in the AM.

melody921

MommaP12 said:

phytoocean said:

I am doing WW, and have lost a pretty good amount, but have been stuck at the same weight since Jan 1. Mainly in the winter I just want to hibernate and eat all of the things. Plus, I get angry sometimes that I have to work this hard at it.

@phytoocean you put it perfectly - I too get angry that I have to work this hard it!  And, despite my weight being in the healthy range/BMI, i have an inner tube around my middle that sucks royally and I'm not willing to live a carbless/dessertless life!!   I really should lose at least 10-15 more pounds.

Anyone ever try coffee pills?  Remember Jillian Michaels got in trouble for it?  The thing is they aren't bad for you really (If JM promotes it it's totes safe, right? ha.) and I know people that added them to their diet/exercise routine and it increased the loss for them.   Just curious....

This is my problem. I don't like deprivation. But I'm going to need to deprive a little to get this weight off. As for pills, they scare me. 

MommaP12

melody921 said:

MommaP12 said:

phytoocean said:

I am doing WW, and have lost a pretty good amount, but have been stuck at the same weight since Jan 1. Mainly in the winter I just want to hibernate and eat all of the things. Plus, I get angry sometimes that I have to work this hard at it.

@phytoocean you put it perfectly - I too get angry that I have to work this hard it!  And, despite my weight being in the healthy range/BMI, i have an inner tube around my middle that sucks royally and I'm not willing to live a carbless/dessertless life!!   I really should lose at least 10-15 more pounds.

Anyone ever try coffee pills?  Remember Jillian Michaels got in trouble for it?  The thing is they aren't bad for you really (If JM promotes it it's totes safe, right? ha.) and I know people that added them to their diet/exercise routine and it increased the loss for them.   Just curious....

This is my problem. I don't like deprivation. But I'm going to need to deprive a little to get this weight off. As for pills, they scare me. 

I don't like deprivation AND I have no will power.  There were just Somoas in the break room this morning when I got here...of course I had one with my coffee.  I just can't turn away from carbs/sweets.  WILL RUN FOR CAKE

I feel the same way about pills, but was curious and probably still won't try them.  

pharmer78

Flamingemu said:

I lost a lot of weight years ago, yet I can't motivate myself to lose the last 20lbs (now 25) that I seem to be holding on to.

Lent starts soon. I am giving up sweets this year. I am hoping that will break my neverending must have something sweet to finish each meal. As I type that I am thinking of an awesome cookie that I can have after lunch if I go to a particular restaurant. So bad!

I've given up sweets for Lent for the last few years and will probably do the same this year.  I am exactly the same way with ending meals on a sugary note. I do think it helps break me of that, at least temporarily.  (But obviously I go back to my same bad habits since I need to restart every Lent!)

BillyMollyEmmy

I feel like lately I just put on more and more weight even if I don't over eat and I exercise moderately, I just seem to feel chunky all the time and bloated. 

I weigh about 147 and am 5 foot 7 - but I gain all my weight in my hips so I have a rhino ass. 

melody921

BillyMollyEmmy said:

I feel like lately I just put on more and more weight even if I don't over eat and I exercise moderately, I just seem to feel chunky all the time and bloated. 

I weigh about 147 and am 5 foot 7 - but I gain all my weight in my hips so I have a rhino ass. 

LOL at rhino ass. I'm 5'9 and would love to be 147. I'm at least 20 over that right now.

redneckmomma25

melody921 said:

BillyMollyEmmy said:

I feel like lately I just put on more and more weight even if I don't over eat and I exercise moderately, I just seem to feel chunky all the time and bloated. 

I weigh about 147 and am 5 foot 7 - but I gain all my weight in my hips so I have a rhino ass. 

LOL at rhino ass. I'm 5'9 and would love to be 147. I'm at least 20 over that right now.

I'm 5'10 and weigh 240. Ugh. I don't celebrate lent but I think March may be a no sugar month.

melody921

redneckmomma25 said:

BillyMollyEmmy said:

I feel like lately I just put on more and more weight even if I don't over eat and I exercise moderately, I just seem to feel chunky all the time and bloated. 

I weigh about 147 and am 5 foot 7 - but I gain all my weight in my hips so I have a rhino ass. 

LOL at rhino ass. I'm 5'9 and would love to be 147. I'm at least 20 over that right now.

I'm 5'10 and weigh 240. Ugh. I don't celebrate lent but I think March may be a no sugar month.

I used to always give up sweets for Lent. I think it's time I get back to that too.

melody921

SpoofLeJones said:

Have you looked into healthier dessert options? Clean ingredients, homemade etc. IMO, you don't have to feel deprived if you're making smart choices. Skip the cookie dough and make a white bean cookie dough dip, make your own frozen fruit ice cream, protein cookies, etc. etc. There are options out there, you just have to do the work. Now, it's not always as good as that eclaire or chocolate cake in the grocery store, but it can help satisfy that dessert craving and keep you on the right track.

Does this taste like cookie dough? I think I'm going to do things like add chocolate almond milk to my oatmeal or have a smaller bite of something I love.