2nd baby shower for twins?

mer313131

Hi there. I'm only 7 weeks but we found out last week we are having twins! A couple close friends have mentioned they want to throw me a sprinkle or small shower. I had a baby shower with DD who is now almost 19 months.

I have always thought (and I know you guys do too) that 2nd showers are tacky, especially so soon after the first, but are the "rules" different when you are expecting twins after a singleton? I kept all of DD's stuff (clothes are girly but gear is gender neutral) but that only covers one baby. Be honest, I can handle it! My gut is telling me to let them host a small sprinkle with just friends at someone's house or somewhere super casual, but wanted to get all of your opinions. Thanks!

VOR

While I'm largely in the "showers are for first time moms" camp, at the same time, I think twins is a game changer.  You do have some baby stuff - but there is stuff that you'll now need two of.  Yes, your responsibility, but if you were a good friend of mine, I'd want to help!  I'd probably be the one trying to organize some kind of event for you.

So... my take is, accept the offer.  But keep it small and to your truly closest friends.  Twins still is NOT an excuse to have a huge "let's invite everyone we know" shower.

74dragonfly

If it is just a few super close friends I'd accept. If I was your close friend I'd happily attend.

mer313131

I hate the "invite everyone we know" concept anyways! Even with DD I insisted the invites were to people who would be a part of her life (ended up being about 30 people which was perfect!). My bridal shower was big as was our wedding and it made me uncomfortable to receive presents from people who I only knew through the IL's (they insisted on inviting their friends).

Helenahhandbasket

Congrats on the twins!

Rules are the same, IMO.  Second showers are always a no no-- different genders, multiples, years in between, different seasons etc.

I think your close friends and family memebers will gift you regardless if you are having a shower or not, so if it were me, I would politely turn down the offer.

 

MaybeKatie10

Twins is not a "game changer" in my book. Definitely not an excuse to get gift grabby. If your friends want to give you a gift because they're excited about your twins, they will. No tacky shower on your part required.

Politely decline.

kimberpoo

I agree with PP's that the point of a shower is to welcome a woman into motherhood - NOT to get gifts. So in that respect, twins are no reason to have a second shower.

However, I also agree with PP's that your closest friends are going to want to see your belly and celebrate the twins. If your friends offer, I'd accept but only if the get together was a small party at a home with no formal invites, no registry, etc. and just very very close friends. don't label it as a sprinkle, shower, or other....just have a wine and cheese party (or tea and cupcakes, or whatever). I think even this is walking a fine line between tacky and not, but if it were my friend I would want to see her and celebrate the uniqueness of having twins.

 

MamaPiers

Congrats on your twins! If your family and close friends want to have a sprinkle I don't think it's a bad idea. I do think second showers are tacky but this is a little different and I would attend if you were a friend of mine. You're really going to need some twin things that singletons don't!

sschwege

The official answer is to decline, as pp said showers are to welcome you into motherhood, you have already been welcomed.  

I will say for me personally though while I side-eye almost all second showers, I wouldn't be bothered if I was invited to a small second shower for twins.  

SunAndRain

"If you have to ask..." then it's a "no"

I'd gush to your friends over their thoughtfulness and generosity and tell them that you feel the shower you had was more than enough welcome in to motherhood.

I get where you are coming from but people KNOW that you'll need stuff...  They'll buy gifts anyway.

If you are really concerned about etiquette then decline the shower.  But if you really want the shower and are less concerned about etiquette then go for it.

brandy4nicole

I'd happily go to a small shower/sprinkle in this case, and really enjoy picking out a cute gift for the twins! I bet your close friends and family would too.

mer313131

Thanks everyone! I think I will politely decline but if they insist I will tell them to keep it small and just for close friends...maybe a brunch or something.

Kageer

Have the shower-keep it small and invite only close friends. I would attend happily. What wonderful news!

SingleMom31

With our first, I think that we got as many (or maybe more) gifts from people that didn't attend the shower than did.  It was really nice too when a friend would stop by or meet me for lunch/coffee/whatever to give us a gift too -- Mostly because I really enjoyed being able to sit and talk to each friend (rather than bouncing around at the shower), but it also let me spread out thank yous, etc..  Even if you don't have a "shower," I think that friends that want to get the twins outfits or something else will still do it.