Terrified of the pain... — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Terrified of the pain...

I just found out earlier today that I am in the middle of a miscarriage. I have begun to pass blood and tissue but no cramping or heavy bleeding yet. I have been reading horrific stories of the pain people experience during the process and I was told by my midwife to let it happen naturally since the process had already begun. As if the emotional pain/anxiety isn't bad enough, I am really hoping the physical pain is not traumatizing. Any words of advice?

Re: Terrified of the pain...

  • When the pain comes it will be in short spurts and will be far apart then slowly grow closer together until it happens. From what i read it is like labor pains, but i have only had the mc and never had a baby so i'm not sure it is exactly the same. It is quite painful but, like I said it is in short bursts and once it passes through it should stop hurting a feel a wave of relief. At least that is how it was for me, but i used cytotec to help it happen. I took some advil but it didn't seem to help much. Also everyone is different some have less pain, some more, and it depends on how far along you were. I hope it isn't too painful for you. ::hugs:: i'm sorry this is happening.

    Started dating Hubby May 17 2005. Married since Aug 20 2011 
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    ...and a bit of TMI...

    How far along were you? I really think that has a lot to do with the amount of pain you will be in. My 1st MC was almost painless. Like a very heavy period and lasted about 7 days. Everything passed naturally. I was only 6 weeks along. It was relatively painless physically speaking of course.

    The 2nd one, however, was a totally different story. I was 10 weeks along. I have a son and was in labor for 27 hours so I know what labor feels like and it was the exact same pain. It was strange how similar. I even had a gush of water right before all the blood started as if my water had broken. And the pain came in intervals like contractions where I would tense up, feel better, tense up again. Awful! Ultimately I ended up going to the ER where I had an emergency D&C.

    BUT I know of women who had miscarriages at 10 weeks, even a little further and the pain was manageable. So don't let my experience scare you. Everyone's experience is different I'm sure but that was mine.

    I hope you have minimal pain and recover quickly. So sorry for the days ahead and for your loss!

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  • CnharbisonCnharbison
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    @Maxsmommy123112 I would have been 12 weeks on Friday and the baby stopped growing at 8 weeks. I am so afraid, I was not ready to experience natural childbirth contractions and I'm hoping I can have something to take the edge off if it gets too bad.
  • edited February 2014
    Like I said, everyone's body is different so it might be like a heavy crampy period! That is what I am hoping for you. When did the bleeding start? I know with my 2nd MC is started and got horrible within a very short period of time. The 1st one however lasted 7 days with completely manageable pain...I even went to work! But I wouldn't suggest you do that for other reasons.
  • @Maxsmommy123112 I began to spot brown two days ago. I have the rest of the week off from work in an effort to not be forced to pass it anywhere other than home. Thank you so much for your response. This is so traumatic, I am sorry for your previous losses.
  • @meganwelch Thank you so much for your response. Hopefully I have a gentle MC.
  • That sounds more like how my 1st MC went. Slowly but painlessly. Whereas the 2nd was fast and horrible. I hope it's like my 1st one. And yes, stay home as long as you can. I completely regret going to work. To this day I have a hard time going into certain restrooms without it bringing up painful memories. This process is very traumatic and it seems so cruel to have to go through this on top if just the loss. I know how you feel. Hang in there. Try calling your doctor to see if she can prescribe you with strong pain meds just in case. You may not need to fill it but on the off chance you need it, it will be waiting for you.

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I remember being petrified my first MC and it wasn't bad at all.
  • I am not trying to scare you but I found it incredibly painful.  I have never given birth so I don't know if it is the same but I was in serious pain and would have gone to the ER for pain relief if I hadn't found an old bottle of tylenol three.

    I am only saying this so that you ask your doctor for some pain medication before it gets bad.  I agree - along with the emotional pain and trauma the physical pain was like an extra kick in the gut.

    I am so sorry for your loss…Take care of yourself! XOXOXO
  • I found the it incredible painful as well. I had a d&c scheduled for the afternoon but the mc started overnight and I ended up in the ER because of the pain. Only part of the fetus passed but once the first part passed the cramping and pain went away in a big wave of relief. I sitll had the d&c to make sure everything was all clear. I agree with @missenn definitely ask your dr for pain meds just in case. I was given morphine in the hospital and it really didnt help with the pain, just helped to relax me a little. I dont mean to scare you and I know everyone's experience is different, this is just mine. I am so sorry for you loss and I hope it goes smoothly for you!

  • Just checking in, how are you feeling? Thinking about you and hoping pain is minimal!
  • I've always been a "let my body do what it's supposed to" believer, BUT I decided I couldn't do it with the miscarriage. It was the emotional, not physical pain I wasn't prepared for. I couldn't deal with leaving my dead baby inside me. (Although my D&C was just 2 days after the miscarriage was confirmed, my baby died 2.5 weeks earlier and I still wasn't naturally passing.) Good luck with whatever you choose--just don't feel obligated to a decision for any reason other than your own.
  • @Maxsmommy123122 The pain started yesterday-- so far it has felt like terrible menstrual cramps that burn from my lower back to my stomach and even my upper thighs. I was able to get a few hours of sleep last night, Thank God. My midwife prescribed Percocet after much begging but I can't take it until I start passing more. I'm still not releasing my baby yet. My boyfriend has figured out a lower back massage technique that helps with the cramping; walking around the house helps too. Thanks so much for checking on me.
  • And BTW, everyone was right about Ibuprofen being completely useless in this situation. I cannot believe they recommend it so often to women miscarrying. It's a joke.
  • First of all, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Mine was about a week ago, and the pain was terrible and similar to labor pains (or so I'm told). I should have been 11 weeks but really lost the pregnancy around 9 weeks. We ended up going to the ER because the pain was so bad, which ended up being a great decision for me personally. On top of the pain, the anxiety of waiting for it to happen was awful, so being at the ER helped with that as well.

    It's an incredibly difficult thing, both physically and emotionally, so do whatever is best for you. Sending hugs to you!
    For SuzyQ
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    BFP #1 12/31/13, EDD 09/12/14, MMC Discovered 02/20/14 (10w6d) Est. Loss @ 8-9w, MC 02/22/14
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  • Update-- I passed my baby yesterday. The pain was indeed as everyone described, just like labor. My water broke and I had contractions until I passed my baby. Then contractions until I passed the placenta. The Percocet did not do much for me and I kept throwing up after contractions because they hurt so badly. After it was all finished, I felt much better and I am recuperating well now. Thank you so much for all of the T&P, I am very grateful for support of women that have been through this and I'm sorry for all of your losses.
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