For those who celebrate Christmas

ScarlettV

What's everyone's opinions on Santa Clause. Do you/will you tell LO he's real? Has anyone had any bad experiences with kids finding out he's not?

I'm curious because DH and I are trying to decide whether we will raise LO knowing he's not real while still celebrating the typical Santa traditions of stockings, Santa gifts, etc; or whether we will follow suit with the norm and tell him he 'is' real.

ScarlettV

mrsashleyk said:

Santa will be real in our house. I found a really sweet letter on Pinterest for explaining the idea of Santa when they discover he isn't a real person.

Is there a way you can link to it?

MommyEllenSue

We tell the kids he is real. I think it's just something fun and magical in a hard world. My 7 year old was trying to put it together last Christmas. So we may only have 1 more Christmas with him believing.

Lawren

We'll be doing Santa. I remember Christams being so magical when I was growing up. Some of our friends don't do Santa with their kids and their oldest started kindergarten this year and came home crying one day wondering why Santa visited her fiends houses but not hers.

notkateanymore

Please please please do not ruin Santa for your children. Bc then they'll ruin it for others and then you'll be those parents...

KFiori1

We say Santa is real.

jy725

We will make believe Santa is real. I don't know how we'll address it in the future yet.

notkateanymore

MommyEllenSue said:

We tell the kids he is real. I think it's just something fun and magical in a hard world. My 7 year old was trying to put it together last Christmas. So we may only have 1 more Christmas with him believing.

I thought that at 7 and DD still believes at 9.

notkateanymore

Can I ask why you wouldn't want him thinking he real?

imrachellea

SANTA ISN'T REAL?!?!?

...ok for real though, I didn't grow up believing in Santa. My mom was a PK and my grandparents were concerned that if they taught their kids about Santa Claus & found out he wasn't real, how would that affect their belief in God if they also can't see Him. My mom carried on this tradition with us. I don't feel jyped at all, we still visited Sants at the mall, had stockings, all the regular traditions, we just knew to give our gratitude to the right people. The "magic" of Christmas for us comes from the Christian meaning of the season. We will likely do the same with our kids.

playball13

Santa brings me wine and chocolate every year.

notkateanymore

imrachellea said:

SANTA ISN'T REAL?!?!? ...ok for real though, I didn't grow up believing in Santa. My mom was a PK and my grandparents were concerned that if they taught their kids about Santa Claus & found out he wasn't real, how would that affect their belief in God if they also can't see Him. My mom carried on this tradition with us. I don't feel jyped at all, we still visited Sants at the mall, had stockings, all the regular traditions, we just knew to give our gratitude to the right people. The "magic" of Christmas for us comes from the Christian meaning of the season. We will likely do the same with our kids.

Did you ever tell other kids that he wasn't real.

santaclausiscoming

Lawren said:

We'll be doing Santa.

What, aren't you going to buy me dinner first?

JK, let's jump in the sack.

santaclausiscoming

pinkshoes1975 said:

Santa brings me wine and chocolate every year.

And you bring me a few gifts of your own, lover.

imrachellea

@KateMW Nope. Since Santa wasn't a big deal to us, and my parents told us how other kids did believe, it just didn't matter to me to ruin it for others. I think I cared too much about other kids liking me to purposefully ruin it for them. Whether my brothers did the same, I don't know. If I sense my kid is particularly vindictive, I may approach it differently...

ugoglencoco

I literally almost just started crying thinking about when my kids don't believe in Santa anymore. My sister told me when I was 5, when she figured it out, so I want my boys to believe as long as humanly possible. I'll tell them when they're 30.

Lawren

santaclausiscoming said:

Lawren said:

We'll be doing Santa.

What, aren't you going to buy me dinner first?

JK, let's jump in the sack.

----------------------------------------------
I like dessert first.

santaclausiscoming

Lawren said:

Lawren said:

We'll be doing Santa.

What, aren't you going to buy me dinner first?

JK, let's jump in the sack.

---------------------------------------------- I like dessert first.

Well, in that case, I have plenty of candy in my sack.

ScarlettV

Haha, thanks @mrsashleyk that's sweet. Actually the first page really can stand on its own.

@katemw Im not sure I'm comfortable telling such a big lie to my kids; and I don't like building up the idea that the world is a fantastical place, and then taking it away from them. BUT I also don't want to deprive my son of the joy of Santa.

DH on the other hand grew up poor with immigrant parents and didn't get Santa at all; or presents for that matter. So he leans towards wanting a real Santa. My dad grew up with Santa and they are some of the fondest memories he has. My mother, grew up with all the Santa traditions, but my grandparents also let her know he wasn't real. she never felt deprived. My grandparents were careful to explain to her that it was important to respect other peoples traditions of believing in him an she never ruined it for other kids.

So, it's conflicting.

littled2013

My brother doesn't do Santa with his 4 kids and I've always wondered how this will affect my kids. I really hope they don't ruin it because anytime my mom writes From Santa on their presents, they tell her he isn't real.

Emily6778

Jumping in from Jan14.

I'm glad you brought this up OP. I have been going back and forth on this since DD was born 2 years ago. This year she will surely understand so we need to decide what our families stance is on this very soon.

I also feel that the "lie" of Santa is not something i want to put my kids through. I know it's one of those little white lie situations but i prefer to do my best to always be honest with my children. I'm also not a fan of the whole "be good because Santa is watching" business. Lastly, i want my kids to value gifts. To know that we work hard to treat them to special presents and that these things are not just handed out.

I do understand the concern that non believers could ruin it for others and i would do my best to explain to my children why some do believe and that we are to respect others beliefs.

Good luck with your decision OP, and thanks for reminding me that DH and i need to figure this out for our own family very soon!

JillSandm

We don't do Santa. Our kids know it's each parent's prerogative to tell their kids what they want, so they don't say anything to other kids. They still get surprised with the gifts they receive, but also look forward to giving to others (like Saint Nick).

We really enjoy picking out local, national, and worldwide organizations to support at Christmas. Many times the kids get a real heart for one of these organizations and we add them to our regular year-round giving.

Cambury108

We do Santa in our house. My oldest DD is 12 and I have a pretty big suspicion that she stopped "believing" in him a few years ago but she just pretends for her little brother and now they will both be believing for quite a few more years either way since our Dec DD joined the bunch. I just blindly followed suit with our kids based off of mine and DH's childhoods. I never questioned not doing Santa. When I found out he wasn't real it wasn't a big deal to me, I was like 10 and I just kept up the charade for my 2 younger siblings. Sitting here thinking about if I would have chosen differently 12 years ago and not done Santa that means we would have no Tooth Fairy,Easter Bunny and so on and so forth in my house and I just can't imagine a life like that. So right or wrong we do Santa. I do believe that if you chose not to partake in the Santa tradition if you explain it to your children then most of the time they won't spoil it for other children. My oldest DD had a little girl in her classroom for 1st and 2nd grade and they were of a different religion and my DD asked her once why she wasn't able to be in the room during holiday parties and the little girl explained and my DD just said "Oh OK" like no big deal. I have learned a few things in life from parenting for the last decade and one of them is that kids don't think so in depth into stuff as we do and two they are very resilient Good luck OP in your choice and I hope you make the best one for your family.

rosesandpetals

When I found out Santa isn't real, I had a complete breakdown. I was in third grade and my parents told me the day after Christmas. I started screaming at them and didn't stop for hours. I went on a hunger strike, I wouldn't sleep... eventually they had me hospitalized and spent all my college savings on therapy. They cut me off recently so now I make ends meet by kidnapping dogs from neighborhoods with big houses and returning them for the reward money.

... is that the type of story you wanted to hear? No, people generally aren't heart broken about Santa. Life moves on.

notkateanymore

What Ashley said...

and thanks Roses!

onewayticket

Yes! Loved Santa and want to keep that magic alive. May also try Elf of the Shelf. I'm a holiday junkie

grannyweatherwax

roses&65335678 said:

When I found out Santa isn't real, I had a complete breakdown. I was in third grade and my parents told me the day after Christmas. I started screaming at them and didn't stop for hours. I went on a hunger strike, I wouldn't sleep... eventually they had me hospitalized and spent all my college savings on therapy. They cut me off recently so now I make ends meet by kidnapping dogs from neighborhoods with big houses and returning them for the reward money.

... is that the type of story you wanted to hear? No, people generally aren't heart broken about Santa. Life moves on.

Hahaha you had me going there for a minute.

ScarlettV

@littled2013 Wow that sounds stressful; i hope someone has explained the importance if keeping the secret.

@jillsandm we do this too; my mom and I always found a family to sponsor with gifts when I was little, and DH was one of the kids who was sponsored by those organizations. So we both do it together now and I'm sure we will involve LO too.

@emily6778 Yea it's a tough choice. It's interesting to me all the different experiences and opinions people have when it comes to it. It's not really. 'Just Santa"; but the while tooth fairy/Easter bunny thing. If it was just Santa I may not be as conflicted.

@roses65444(there are too many numbers) heck yea it was. Wth took you so long.

Emily6778

Sorry, i can't get the quote tree to work on mobile right now...

@ScarlettV
Our plan would be to keep up with most traditions and just leave the fictional characters out. There would still be Easter baskets and egg hunts, we just wouldn't say a bunny is responsible. There would still be money in exchange for teeth. Still have stockings for xmas. I don't feel like these holidays would be any less exciting without these characters involved.

notkateanymore

The not believing this is much more organic than people think it is...it's been coming for years with DD. She's asks more and more questions and one day she just won't believe anymore. No big thing or talk has to happen...I don't get it.

As far as wanting credit...come on people. 

blainethetrain

KateMW said:

The not believing this is much more organic than people think it is...it's been coming for years with DD. She's asks more and more questions and one day she just won't believe anymore. No big thing or talk has to happen...I don't get it.

As far as wanting credit...come on people. 

This totally, Kate. At a certain age you just figure it out. I don't remember any trauma to it at all. I asked my mom and she said "what do you think?" and that was the end of it.

Alexisgamez105

Growing up my parents would say Santa would send them a check in the mail so they could buy us gifts. I don't know if we'll do Santa in our house yet

notkateanymore

lrachelle80 said:

We do the "want, need, wear, read" thing for gifts from DH and I, and then 1-2 "Santa" gifts. I won't ever outright lie to them about Santa if they ask. We (siblings and I) were told about Santa but weren't devastated when we we found out he wasn't real - our parents told us something along the lines of the spirit of Xmas that someone posted about above. It was NBD. And it didn't shake our faith either (that came much, much later and had nothing to do with Christmas, I promise :P). 

If your 3 year old asks if Santa is real, you would say no? Why?

liz429

We will for sure be doing Santa. My big thing is FIL actually dresses as Santa for many community functions. Im afraid this is going to make lo figure it out sooner than Id like.
I was deathly afraid of Santa,Easter Bunny and everyone else. I was always afraid they were going to see all I had and take it all away.

ScarlettV

liz429 said:

I was deathly afraid of Santa,Easter Bunny and everyone else. I was always afraid they were going to see all I had and take it all away.

Lol, what?...

lilypienmessimy

We will definitely have our kids believe in Santa as they grow up. I only got small stocking gifts from Santa and all others were from family. DH got most of his gifts from Santa so we will have to decide which one we want to do but we love Christmas/Santa/holiday movies/making cookies etc etc and believing in Santa is a big part of it all for our family.

liz429

@ScarlettV I was afraid he was going to think I already had too many toys and steal them and give it to other kids lol

rosesandpetals

liz429 said:

@ScarlettV I was afraid he was going to think I already had too many toys and steal them and give it to other kids lol

Lol I think you had him confused with robin hood.

ScarlettV

liz429 said:

@ScarlettV I was afraid he was going to think I already had too many toys and steal them and give it to other kids lol

Lol oooh okay I gotcha, haha

KFED103

roses&65335678 said:

liz429 said:

@ScarlettV I was afraid he was going to think I already had too many toys and steal them and give it to other kids lol

Lol I think you had him confused with robin hood.

Roses where have you been hiding?

lifesaverz

My family didn't do Santa when I was younger, although we did know about him & think he was awesome, we just always knew he wasn't real so it was no big deal. We plan to do the same with LO, Santa will be a fun idea but they'll know the truth from the get-go. I think DH will also probably want to teach LO about the actual Saint Nick, & what he did for kids.