Am I the only one who doesn't want one?

MaybeKatie10

Am I the only FTM who doesn't want a baby shower? I've had no less than 3 people offer to throw one for me and Ive politely declined them all. Mostly for these reasons:

1. I'm a shy person, so the idea of sitting there while a big group of people watches me open presents makes me anxious. Ive never had a birthday party, either, for this exact reason.

2. DH and I are pretty well of so we are not actually 'in need' of help buying stuff for LO. 

3. Considering #2, the idea of inviting people to a party centering around pressuring them to buy has gifts just seems off to me. I figure if someone wants to get my daughter a onesie, they can do so without being 'invited' to.

So, I didn't have a baby shower. Now here is the problem....everyone went out and bought us a TON of gifts anyway. We never even set up a registry (I hate registries),  but by the time my friends/family were done we had EVERYTHING we needed for LO. Heck,  the only thing we have bought for our own daughter is a car seat and a crib. She's got EVERYTHING else...including full wardrobes up to one year old! 

What's wrong with that, you ask? Well, I feel guilty as heck now. My friends/family just went shopping crazy for me and all they got was a measely little thank you card. No refreshments, no food, no cutsie cupcake, no fun party. I feel like I need to do more to thank them for their generosity.

So here is what I was thinking....throw a nice fancy dinner party, fill them with booze and great food, and then before dessert, make a toast where I thank everyone again for the gifts.

Any thoughts on this? Is it too little? Too much? Am I a total bonehead for not having a shower? How can I make things right? 

Helenahhandbasket

Eh...I didn't want one either, but in my case it didn't have anything to do with being well off.

I think you should just gracioulsy accept the gifts.  A fancy dinner party seems maybe a bit show-offy.

MaybeKatie10

Yikes! I definitely don't want to come across as show offy! I just feel bad, like I screwed my friends and family out of a party because of my issues and general shyness.  

Helenahhandbasket

MaybeKatie10 said:

Yikes! I definitely don't want to come across as show offy! I just feel bad, like I screwed my friends and family out of a party because of my issues and general shyness.  

OK-- stop feeling this way.

People buy gifts for people (usually) because they want to, especially in a case where there is no shower (a gift giving event.)

Simply write really heartfelt thank yous and you are fine.

kimberpoo

I agree with the heartfelt thank you cards being enough, but the dinner seems like a nice idea. maybe do one with just friends and one with just family (I know, hostessing is a lot while PG) and make it informal....more of a fun get together than a fancy dinner. drinks, good food, and friends or family. not a 'thank you' kinda thing, just a fun night. Our family is always dying to come over so I'm sure they would love it. BUT, if you aren't feeling up to playing hostess, don't feel obligated just because people bought you things. thank you's, and maybe an announcement when LO arrives (with pics of course ) is enough.

RibbitGrl930

Helenahhandbasket said:

MaybeKatie10 said:

Yikes! I definitely don't want to come across as show offy! I just feel bad, like I screwed my friends and family out of a party because of my issues and general shyness.  

OK-- stop feeling this way.

People buy gifts for people (usually) because they want to, especially in a case where there is no shower (a gift giving event.)

Simply write really heartfelt thank yous and you are fine.

Yeah, pretty much all of this. It sounds like you're uncomfortable with receiving gifts in general. In one breath, you state you don't want people to feel pressured to buy gifts, then in the next, when people buy you gifts in the absence of "pressure" (read: an invitation), you feel bad they didn't get cake and punch. If they bought you gifts without being invited to do so, it's because they love you. A thank you card is fine here.

PrimRoseMama

Thank you notes are sufficient. I promise the people that love you would not buy you the gifts if they did not want to do so.

VOR

Yeah.... WAY overthinking this.  As said, people don't give gifts because they want a party. THey give gifts because they want to support you.

MaybeKatie10

It is definitely a relief to know I'm probably over thinking this. I tend to do that a lot, but I thought I'd check in to make sure. Thanks everyone for your input!