Dear Child,

VeronicaAnn143

Dear Child,

I cannot pat your back 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It's not physically possible. You will have to learn to get comfortable another way....or I will lose my mind.

Love Always,
Mom


What's your Dear Child?

ziggy903

@veronicaann143 mine loves being patted on the back too! It's the one thing that calms him.

Dear child,
Please let your daddy feed you your bottle. Just once a night, at least. I would love to not be awoken by your screams from the next room.

Love, mama zigs

Dexter&11

Dear Child,

Please stop screaming at me and go to sleep!!!!! You've been fed, you have a clean bum, you've been winded for an hour....you are just tired so give in and sleep for f sake!!!!!!

Mum

VeronicaAnn143

Dexter&11 said:

Dear Child,

Please stop screaming at me and go to sleep!!!!! You've been fed, you have a clean bum, you've been winded for an hour....you are just tired so give in and sleep for f sake!!!!!!

Mum

This 100%

LO has been squeaking since 4:45am, taking cat naps. He's exhausted now and fighting a nap. STOP IT!

MissDemeanor

Dear Child,

You are going to have to learn to sleep in your own bed eventually. Your college roommate will not be as accommodating as your dad and I are.

Love Mama

PS your squeaks are cute but just go to sleep already!

halfthetree

Dear Child,

Please stop pooping as soon as the clean diaper is snapped up. I bicycle your legs, give you plenty of time to finish each poo, but I guess a clean diaper feels much better to go in?

I would love to wash diapers every other day, not every morning!

Lalalove you!

(And please stop growing SO fast. 1 lb a week is just crazy, I'm not ready!)

cmsdouglas

Dear Child,

I love that you are such a great napper, but could we translate some of those long stretches of sleep to the night time?

Love,

Mom

magentawarped

Dear child,

You have a clogged tear duct that needs to be dealt with. I assure you that when I'm cleaning the goop off of your eye, I do it out of love. It is not a form of torture. Chill out and stop trying to escape.

Love,
Doctor Mom

Giraffealaff

Dear child,

There are many hours in the day when mom would love toplay with you and be silly. Unfortunately these hours do not include 3 am - 6 am. I know it is confusing, but you are not nocturnal.

Love you bunches!

Mommy

snowwhite1979

Dear Child,

Yelling at my boob will not help either of us. If you want to eat, it is your responsibility to latch and suck instead if silly eating and yelling. We do this every two hours. Don't pretend you don't know what you're doing.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for not being a screamer like your sister.

Love,

Mom

Nikkijo1022

snowwhite1979 said:

Dear Child,

Yelling at my boob will not help either of us. If you want to eat, it is your responsibility to latch and suck instead if silly eating and yelling. We do this every two hours. Don't pretend you don't know what you're doing.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for not being a screamer like your sister.

Love,

Mom

This. Exactly!

Reneej918

Dear child,

Please come out on your own! Your mommy is not in favor of induction.

Love,
Your very pregnant and inpatient mommy

Amyjoy1972

Dear child
You can not be on my boob 24/7 my nips are going to fall off.

ziggy903

armalan12 said:

Dear child,
How can you be too big for most of your newborn clothes, and too small for most of your 3 month clothes? You have about 8 things to wear. Poop, pee, and spit up wisely.
Love,
your momma who also is in between sizes!(so seriously, keep it in your diaper!)

Same here! Only with preemie and newborn clothes.

lihau88

Dear child,

I understand you are gassy and fussy due to your newly found out milk protein allergy and I assure you I am doing my part by eliminating the dairy so that you are no longer ingesting it through the breast milk. However, it will take some time for it to leave your system. So, in the mean time I would really really appreciate it if you didn't take it out on my nips. When you're crying out in pain from your gas pains, could you please let go of my nipple first? When you're swinging your head back and forth and pulling back, it feels like my nipple might possibly rip off. Not fun for mommy. Please and thank you.

Love,
Your slightly sore mom

Edited due to fat fingers.

Winnieella

Dear Child,

Why do you scream when you are not being held? It is just me most of the time while your daddy works. Mommy needs to eat and sleep. Also, why do you hate being worn? It is just like being held, only my hands aren't on you. Please like your Moby.

Love, 

Your Mommy. 

ScaredOfCats

Dear child,

I know you can't read, but according to all the baby things I've read you should be nursing every 2-3 hours, not every hour for a 30 minute stretch. Please get with the program.

Love,
Your mom who needs a sandwich, a beer, and a shower

Rosie137

Dear child,

Thank you for being such an easy happy baby, you've made the transition from 2 to 3 kids easy on me. Your latch is great, nobody is gonna steal your milk, so really, you don't need to damn near suck my nipples off. I get that you have strong muscles, but ease up, it hurts.

Love,
Mommy with the raw nips

VeronicaAnn143

Dear Child,

You're 8 weeks old but since you were preemie you're only two weeks old adjusted age . The fact that you're wearing 3-6 month clothing is scaring me. Please slow down.

Love,
Mom

Winnieella

VeronicaAnn143 said:

Dear Child,

You're 8 weeks old but since you were preemie you're only two weeks old adjusted age . The fact that you're wearing 3-6 month clothing is scaring me. Please slow down.

Love,
Mom

My guy is between newborn and.zero to three months. Some newborn stiff is too small, others are big.

Breeze1107

snowwhite1979 said:

Dear Child,

Yelling at my boob will not help either of us. If you want to eat, it is your responsibility to latch and suck instead if silly eating and yelling. We do this every two hours. Don't pretend you don't know what you're doing.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for not being a screamer like your sister.

Love,

Mom

=D> YES!

emar129

Dear Baby,

I started pumping a bottle a day for you so you can bond with daddy and mommy can eat/shower/poop/whatever. Please do not yell at my boob at the next feed. I know you have to put forth more effort, but I am not starving you. Just suck and you will be fine.

Love,
The jugs

RedSoxGirl10

Dear Child,
Why must you have a crazy long, fussy feeding right when I want to go to bed? I could forgive this if it made you sleep longer, but it doesn't. Mommy is tired.
Love, Mom

Btwilhelm

Dear child,
Can you sleep for more then five minutes? I really want to shower and eat something. I promise cuddling will be so much better once I smell good.

Love,
Mom

djtippietoes

Dear child,

Why can't you be happy if I'm holding you while I'm sitting on the couch? Why must I be standing up for you not to cry?

Love,
Mom

ShreyaR

MissDemeanor said:

Dear Child,

You are going to have to learn to sleep in your own bed eventually. Your college roommate will not be as accommodating as your dad and I are.

Love Mama

PS your squeaks are cute but just go to sleep already!

Yes, Ditto!
And
Dear Child,
I wish I could ease your discomfort/pain you get due to colic, I wish you could sleep for a few hours straight rather than less than an hour or an hour tops!
Love you!

VeronicaAnn143

Dear Child,

Do not scream at me because your milk is cool. It's cool because you screamed at me to get it faster. You cannot have your cake and eat it too.

Love,
Your Mother

PS- Mmmm cake.

MormonMrs1218

Dear Child,
I'm not sure how we lived without you to love and make us laugh. However, between the colic that just started this week, and the diaper rash that is just now clearing up (but apparently still painful), you have reverted to being a momma's girl of the highest degree. I was up until 5 this morning while you slept blissfully on my chest. PLEASE, love, snuggle with Daddy a little. I need sleep.

Love,
Your patient, but sleep-deprived mommy

Missy0483

Dear Child,

I really love your hands...just like every other part of you, but I'm really tempted to put you in your Halo sleep sack aka the baby straight jacket everytime I have to feed you. Your hands in your face and mouth make it almost impossible to give you your bottle while you're screaming at me and trying to eat your hands! Oh and if you wouldn't make a mess and drip all down your chin I wouldn't need a bib or a burp cloth!

Love,
Your not so patient mommy

Dexter&11

Missy0483 said:

Dear Child,

I really love your hands...just like every other part of you, but I'm really tempted to put you in your Halo sleep sack aka the baby straight jacket everytime I have to feed you. Your hands in your face and mouth make it almost impossible to give you your bottle while you're screaming at me and trying to eat your hands! Oh and if you wouldn't make a mess and drip all down your chin I wouldn't need a bib or a burp cloth!

Love,
Your not so patient mommy

It's even more fun when the hands are in the mouth at the same time as your nipple...and then she decides to latch! There is NO word for that level of pain!!!!

jpoindahouse

Dear Child,

 

Please learn what a nipple looks like. It's the thing I keep shoving in your face. It is not a knuckle, my sternum, my elbow, etc. You should not be trying to suck on these things. Really, my nipples shouldn't be so hard to find now that they are huge and brown from pregnancy.

Thanks,

Mom

mdr619

Dear Child,

Please go back to sleep at night. I know you think it's playtime, but it's not. It's no fun for me to stay up with you.

Love,
Your adoring but sleep deprived Mom

ZAngel

Dear Baby,

Please let me eat.  I'm starving and you seem to have some type of "mommy is hungry radar".  I've fed you.  You are warm and cozy.  Sound asleep....  you do not have to wake up because mommy wants to make a sandwich.  I can handle this on my own. 

Love,
Your empty tummy mommy

PS - It would be wonderful if you could be awake and not screaming.  Just because your eyes are open doesn't mean you are hungry.