Infertility

Enjoying the Process?

So I feel very lucky that my director went through a crazy roller coaster with IF and is very understanding of everything I'm going through.  Sometimes a little odd that he's male and talks openly about every detail of the process with me, but I feel more at ease letting him know what's going on, if I need a day off, or if I have questions about the multiple IVFs they went through.

I was talking to him about my schedule coming up for IVF #1.  At the end of the conversation he told me to remember to enjoy the process.  WTF?!?  All I think about is how much IF sucks and it's so unfair!  But as he explained, he did have a point...although he never wants to go through IVF again, he feels thankful they went through such a unique experience where they saw their babies as embryos, they know more than they ever needed to know about their bodies, and they can tell their kids how badly they were wanted.  They even made a shirt that said "My Doctor Got Me Pregnant" to laugh at themselves.  

I don't know if I can be that positive about it all the time, and he did admit it's easier for him to say it now that they finally got their babies.  But it made me want to think of ways to make this whole thing more fun or ways to enjoy the process.  Any ideas?  Good luck charms to bring to appointments?  Inside jokes with your DH about this whole crazy process?


Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545  -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!
Camila Josephine arrived 4/30 :)
jertie

Re: Enjoying the Process?

  • And I should note, when they made the shirts, it was some plain shirts where they wrote it on with a marker and wore it around the house.  I think I'd question his sanity if they actually had some fancy shirts made and wore them in public all the time...


    Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
    IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
    IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
    Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545  -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!
    Camila Josephine arrived 4/30 :)
    RunCC37
  • I think I love your boss - he sounds so great!!  DH & I don't have anything "inside" stuff - but when I got my massive box o' meds I kind of jiggled the box and asked DH if he thought there might be a baby in there for us.  (And I think I saw someone else call it a baby in a box - and I thought that was so cute too!)  Thank you for sharing - your post really made me smile!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Siggy Warning~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    gsanchojaztasticRunCC37Sunny B
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  • Somewhat related to this, I recently had a conversation with my acupuncturist (she specilizes in fertility and IVF) about the photos of my embryos that I was given after my ET. We discussed how it was a little morbid, but would be cool to have for the baby book of a successful pregnancy. I currently have the photo of my two embryos that didn't take and I'm now conflicted as to what to do with it. Plus I was thinking about what would I do with a pic of two embryos if one only made it?

    ***************************Loss Mentioned***************************


    Me 37 y/o, DH 45 y/o; DH vasectomy reversal (his 2nd marriage) 11/8/12; TTC since 12/8/12. IVF due to MFI. DOR diagnosis April 2015.

     

    IVF #1 BCPs/Antagonist w/ICSI Jan 2014 = BFN

    IVF #2 MDL w/PICSI March 2014 = BFN

    IVF #3 EPP/Antagonist w/PICSI May/June 2014 = BFP!; MMC 6w4d

    IVF #4 No suppression/Antagonist Nov 2014/Converted to IUI #1 = BFN

    IVF #4.1 Feb 2015 = cancelled

    IVF #4.2 April 2015 - Lupron Stop Protocol with ICSI = PGD testing of embryo indicated it was abnormal

    IVF #5 June 2015 EPP with Antagonist 

     

    image
    Everyone welcome!

    gsancho
  • @jertie that does give me the idea to come up with a clever catch phrase for the meds, shot time, or the needle box.  My husband hates needles, so I don't know how the big shots later in the process will go.  And that needle box makes me feel like I'm running a bootleg dr's office in my kitchen.  Sounds childish to find a fun saying for medicine/shot time...but these are the straws I grab at when thinking of "fun" ways to deal with IF.


    Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
    IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
    IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
    Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545  -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!
    Camila Josephine arrived 4/30 :)
  •     
  • I have some of my "good luck charms" if you will.  I'm not superstitious enough to think they play a part but it's nice reminders of how much those around me love and support us.  One is a blue stone with the word "Hope" written on it that my SIL gave me for mother's day two years ago.  I keep that in my pocket throughout almost all of my last two IUI and my IVF/FET cycles.  On IUI, ER and ET days I wear my blackhawk socks that I got in the first sock exchange on 3T (sadly over three years ago, but the first are still my fav).  And I have a necklace I got for NIAW that says "When, not IF" and a matching bracelet that was made from pomegranate colored yarn when 3T did the "Common Thread" exchange that also has a "hope" charm.  



    TTC since July 2009. Dx MFI & LPD. 
    IUI#1&2&3 (2011 & 2012) BFN
    IUI#4 1/23/13 on 75iu x9 Follistim = BFP then chem preg m/c (Feb 2013)
    IUI#5 BFN (April 2013)
    IVF w/ICSI Oct. 2, 2012 - 13R, 11M, 7F, 1 frozen blast 4BB grade - - - FET Nov 15, 2013
    BFP! Beta 1:104 @ 10dp6dt, Beta 2:178 @ 12dp6dt,  beta 3:366 @ 14dp6dt
    Saw heartbeat twice before missed M/C at 8w3d on 12/27/13, missing my little angel boy
    JUNE 2014 IVF#2;  5R, 2M, 1F Three day transfer 6/7.  Beta 6/18 - BFN
    Child Free Now?
    S/PAIFW , S/PALW

    My Blog

    image



    gsancho
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  • Well I don't know that we have enjoyed the process per say but we do laugh about it when we can. Last night DH was doing my PIO shot and when he pulled back to make sure there was no blood he said "ohhhh there is a bubble!" and I started giggling (bad when you have a inch and a half long needle in your butt) then he just kept on saying "this is how you get a bubble butt". by the time he was done I was cracking up.
    I think the shirts are cute, I saw this the other day and it made me laugh

    Me 39, DH 40
    Male Factor (severe oligospermia) 
    IVF#1-December 2013: Conversion Protocol @ SIRM, Canceled on day 10 of stims due to poor response
    IVF#2- February 2014:  Estrogen Priming Conversion Protocol @ SIRM (ER 2/22: (9R, 7M, 4F, All arrested, nothing to trasnfer)
    IUI#1-May 28, 2014- 100mg clomid, HCG Trigger, 100mg progesterone oral--BFN
    IUI#2-June 24, 2014- non medicated, HCG 2,500mg x 4 doses (over a week), Endometrium- BFN
    Suprise BFP- September 1, 2014- miscarriage at 5 weeks. 

    gsanchoSunny B
  • DH and I have really sick humors. We have to joke about EVERYTHING. I don't think we would have made it this far without making fun of each other. I've got new ammo now because my MOM texted him while he was "producing" his sample on Monday. He's never going to live that one down!


    gsanchopenad5
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  • LOVE the shirt!!!
    Me 39, DH 40
    Male Factor (severe oligospermia) 
    IVF#1-December 2013: Conversion Protocol @ SIRM, Canceled on day 10 of stims due to poor response
    IVF#2- February 2014:  Estrogen Priming Conversion Protocol @ SIRM (ER 2/22: (9R, 7M, 4F, All arrested, nothing to trasnfer)
    IUI#1-May 28, 2014- 100mg clomid, HCG Trigger, 100mg progesterone oral--BFN
    IUI#2-June 24, 2014- non medicated, HCG 2,500mg x 4 doses (over a week), Endometrium- BFN
    Suprise BFP- September 1, 2014- miscarriage at 5 weeks. 

    RunCC37
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  • @Deardra77, I think of that often. My grandparents struggled with IF in the 1950's... There were no treatments to be done back then! They tried on their own for NINE YEARS and finally got lucky with their miracles (boy/girl twins!). Thank goodness they didn't give up either, otherwise I wouldn't be here! But, man, I can't imagine nine years of TTC without the intervention of a doctor.
    **SIGGY WARNING**

    Me: 32 DH: 35  TTC#1 since March 2012
    Dx: Poor Embryo Quality, Arcuate Uterus, Poor Uterine Blood Flow, Mild Endo, 
           Protein S Deficiency, Sjorgen's Syndrome 

    IUI #1-5: BFN
    Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy: minimal endo, partial septoplasty
    IVF #1: 10R/6M/6F ~ Day 3 ET = BFN
    IVF #2: 14R/9M/5F ~ transfer canceled ~ all embryos arrested at 1-2 cell stage
    IVF #3: 9R/5M/5F ~ 1 frosty!
    IVF #4 (FET #1): BFN

    IVF #5 (DE IVF #1 with Dr. KK protocol): Currently PREGNANT!!!!!!
    Synthroid + Prednisone + Metformin + Baby Aspirin + Supplements Galore = 15+ pills a day
    Lupron + Lovenox + Delestrogen + IVIG + B/W = 2-5 pokes a day
    19R, 17M, 17F - transferred two Grade A blasts 11/16, four frosties!!!
    Beta #1 11/24 (13dpo/8dp5dt) = 367 ~ Beta #2 11/26 (15dpo/10dp5dt) = 709
    Beta #3 11/29 (18dpo/13dp5dt) = 1,997 ~ Beta #4 12/1 (20dpo/15dp5dt) = 3,403

    imageimageimage

    My Blog: Running and Dreaming for Two ~ All are Welcome!
    gsancho
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  • So as of this cycle we have a good luck charm. I was visiting my parents in January (the weekend after our WTF appt) and I saw this doll on the shelf in their living room. I looked closer and saw that it was a fertility doll!! (They had gotten it the prior year when they were in South Africa).

    They know we are doing IVF but none of the details. And we only told them in Nov. They had been there in February or March.

    So I took a picture and sent it to my husband saying we needed one of these. He said I should bring it back with me. So I did - but didn't tell my parents!! We are borrowing it...and it was in a room they never go in.

    It has come with us to all our appointments (in my purse) and we have rubbed its belly on the day of our ER and ET. And when we came home from ET and I was in a bit of pain DH held it in one hand and did a silly little dance asking the embryo(s) to stick.

    We are really hoping it works!!!
    ***signature/ticker warning***
    Me:37 DH:39
    TTC#1 since 3/2012

    Diagnosis : Unexplained Infertility

    3 BFN rounds Clomid + IUI
    IVF 1 - BFN, 1 Frozen
    IVF 2 - BFN, 5 Frozen
    FET 1 - BFP!!! EDD 1/24/15 Beta 1: 700, Beta 2: 2,156; 1st U/S 6w3d: HB 118bpm, 2nd U/S 9w3d: HB 171bpm

    imageimageimage
    Pregnancy Ticker
    RunCC37missmarypoppinsgsancho
  • 2Enjoying the process is probably easier with time. I did find some videos on youtube of parents documenting their IF journey for their unborn child. For example they took pictures of the box of medical supplies and her bruised stomach and spoke to their would be child before going into the egg retrieval/transfer etc. It was very heartwarming. 

    Twinkie0612 I love the bead per injection idea! 


    image



    gsancho
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  • Lady2010 said:
    So as of this cycle we have a good luck charm. I was visiting my parents in January (the weekend after our WTF appt) and I saw this doll on the shelf in their living room. I looked closer and saw that it was a fertility doll!! (They had gotten it the prior year when they were in South Africa). They know we are doing IVF but none of the details. And we only told them in Nov. They had been there in February or March. So I took a picture and sent it to my husband saying we needed one of these. He said I should bring it back with me. So I did - but didn't tell my parents!! We are borrowing it...and it was in a room they never go in. It has come with us to all our appointments (in my purse) and we have rubbed its belly on the day of our ER and ET. And when we came home from ET and I was in a bit of pain DH held it in one hand and did a silly little dance asking the embryo(s) to stick. We are really hoping it works!!!
    I thought of getting one when we were on vacation a few weeks ago!  But all the fertility dolls I found had giant penises.  Now that I'm brainstorming for ideas to keep our spirits up, rubbing on a penis statue would have been pretty funny...what does the doll look like?  I'll have to look that one up, too.


    Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
    IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
    IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
    Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545  -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!
    Camila Josephine arrived 4/30 :)
    [Deleted User]ronniesgirl1981
  • keziah23 said:
    Last night DH was doing my PIO shot and when he pulled back to make sure there was no blood he said "ohhhh there is a bubble!" and I started giggling (bad when you have a inch and a half long needle in your butt) then he just kept on saying "this is how you get a bubble butt". by the time he was done I was cracking up.
    I have been reading board posts while DH gives me the PIO shot. I had to share this tidbit with him AFTER he removed the needle. Thanks for sharing @keziah23.

    image
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  • I made a "beads for shots" necklace (it has a bead for every injection that I took during our treatment cycles) and plan on hanging it in our future child's room to remind me of exactly what we went through to have a child.

    What an awesome idea!  FX your "necklace" doesn't get much longer.

    f/k/a/ Kari3629

    Me: 40/DH: 34

    Unexplained IF

    IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN

    IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!

    4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN :(

    Everyone Welcome!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicimageimage

    image

     

     

     

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  • @gsancho : it is a fertility doll from the Ndebele tribe. I am attaching a pic here.  And I agree - rub whatever works! DH rubs by belly every night (well at least when he isn't traveling) during this 2WW telling the embryo(s) to stick!


    ***signature/ticker warning***
    Me:37 DH:39
    TTC#1 since 3/2012

    Diagnosis : Unexplained Infertility

    3 BFN rounds Clomid + IUI
    IVF 1 - BFN, 1 Frozen
    IVF 2 - BFN, 5 Frozen
    FET 1 - BFP!!! EDD 1/24/15 Beta 1: 700, Beta 2: 2,156; 1st U/S 6w3d: HB 118bpm, 2nd U/S 9w3d: HB 171bpm

    imageimageimage
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I also think that "enjoying it" is only something that you can realize if the cycle was successful and then your perspective changes.   
    Me: 34 | He: 40
    TTC since 08/2012
    DX: DOR




  •     
  • I made a "beads for shots" necklace (it has a bead for every injection that I took during our treatment cycles) and plan on hanging it in our future child's room to remind me of exactly what we went through to have a child.

    What an awesome idea!  FX your "necklace" doesn't get much longer.
    I got the idea from a blog (Our Misconception).  I put a small divider bead between each day's injection(s) and put two dividers between each cycle.  Looking at my "necklace" I can tell you what med each bead stood for.  It's nice to have a visual reminder of how far we've come, it gets a little depressing seeing how long it's gotten.

    imageimageimageimageimage

     

    image

    TTC #1 since August 2011

    My Blog

    September 2012: Start IF testing

    DH (32): SA is ok, slightly low morph, normal SCSA  Me (32): Slightly low progesterone, hostile CM, carrier for CF, Moderately high NKC, High TNFa, heterozyogous mutated Factor XIII, and +APA

    October 2012-May 2014: 4 failed IUIs, 3 failed IVFs, and 1 failed FETw/donor embryos

    November 2014: IVF w/ICSI #4 Agonist/Antagonist with EPP and Prednisone, Baby Aspirin, Lovenox, and IVIG for immune issues.  Converted to freeze all due to lining issues.  2 blasts frozen on day 6!

    January 2015: FET #2 Cancelled due to lining issues

    April 2015: FET #2.1


    PAIF/SAIF Welcome!

  • It sounds like your boss is awesome.

    I loved reading everyones little lucky charms and rituals.

    I wore a Rose Quartz necklace and bracelet and had a circle of fertility crystals with a picture of an illustrated family and baby in the middle.

    Looking back, I did kinda enjoy the process. It was hard, don't get me wrong, but I liked seeing my favorite nurse and my doctor so often. I liked that DH was so attentive and did little things to make me laugh during the shots. I love how much stronger and closer we became.

    TTC since May 2012
    Me: 32 H: 31
    DX: MFI-Very Low Count, I have Hashimotos.
    IVF prep September 2013 cancelled due to Ovarian Cyst
    IVF #1 October 2013 Antagonistic Protocol with ICSI  ER 10/31/13 (18R 16M 11F- 6 blasts to freeze)
    ET delayed due to OHSS 
    FET scheduled for July 8. Delayed due to a crazy high TSH (it had been under control for YEARS!)
    FET #1 8/5/14 sET BFN 

    All welcome!
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  • HopefulSoul2HopefulSoul2 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited February 2014

    I made a "beads for shots" necklace (it has a bead for every injection that I took during our treatment cycles) and plan on hanging it in our future child's room to remind me of exactly what we went through to have a child.

    What an awesome idea!  FX your "necklace" doesn't get much longer.
    I got the idea from a blog (Our Misconception).  I put a small divider bead between each day's injection(s) and put two dividers between each cycle.  Looking at my "necklace" I can tell you what med each bead stood for.  It's nice to have a visual reminder of how far we've come, it gets a little depressing seeing how long it's gotten.
     
    I love this!  I think I'll head over to Michaels this weekend and recreate my stim cycle with beads.  What a neat keepsake.  Thanks for sharing.

    f/k/a/ Kari3629

    Me: 40/DH: 34

    Unexplained IF

    IVF #1 - 9/2013 8ER/5M/4EF/4ET = BFN

    IVF #2 - 2/2014 - Fingers crossed this is the one!

    4ER/3EF/3 "beautiful embryos" transferred - Beta March 7 = BFN :(

    Everyone Welcome!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicimageimage

    image

     

     

     

  • When I first read this I thought, "UGH! Only someone who's SAIF would talk about enjoying the process." (Maybe I'm just feeling particularly battered right now with my disaster of a cycle and poor bruised veins and stomach.) But I've been really touched and inspired by the tokens and stories here. So thank you!!!
    **********************siggy/ticker warning**********************

    ***Losses mentioned.*** TTC #1 since May 2012. Me: 37, OH: 41. Ectopic August 2012 => tubal damage. :'(  Stage 1 endo removed June 2013. IVF #1 Oct/Nov 2013: Long Lupron with Gonal-F. 7R, 7M, 7F. 2 txfer@3d. Nothing frozen.  => M/C @ 8 wks. :'( Selected RPL panel all normal. Very hyper and brittle response to stims. IVF #2 (antagonist protocol) Feb 2014 => Converted to IUI (Perfect conditions). BFN. IVF #2.1 w/ new RE June 2014: Antagonist protocol. 33R, 31M, 30F, 19 blasts to test!!! I made it through without crashing!! :) Hats off to Dr. Fancypants!! ET of one 5AB blast. BFN. 13 10 CCS'ed snowflakes! FET #1 PUPO as of 7/29 Betas: 8/7@24, 8/9@97, 8/11@334 (etc.) Two sacs on 8/15, one seen on 8/18 after a bleed. U/s 8/25 (6+3) "perfect": 5.9 mm + HB@120bpm! U/s 9/4 (7+6): 15.9 mm + HB@172 bpm! Please, PLEASE stick this time!!!!
    http://i955.photobucket.com/albums/ae39/catfreeburg/866da40f5178fed79efe23fc8a4e8a_zps4498a9cc.jpgimageimageimageimage
    image
    [Deleted User]
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  • pblge said:
    When I first read this I thought, "UGH! Only someone who's SAIF would talk about enjoying the process." (Maybe I'm just feeling particularly battered right now with my disaster of a cycle and poor bruised veins and stomach.) But I've been really touched and inspired by the tokens and stories here. So thank you!!!
    Yeah, I still think on the bad days the most positive thing I can muster when thinking of all this is an eye roll...but I do have some great ideas on ways to stay positive on those days when I have hope.  Thanks for sharing everyone!


    Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
    IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
    IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
    Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545  -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!
    Camila Josephine arrived 4/30 :)
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