PPA- treatment options?

BrittanyCupcakes

I'm coming to terms with the idea that my PPA is bad enough to require treatment. I've always been the type to avoid doctors, but I know I need to schedule an appointment. I did just try to call but the phone number doesn't seem to be working right now. I know they've had some issues with their phone line in the past, so I'll try back on Monday, but its hard enough for me to work up the courage to make the call in the first place, so it's disheartening.

Lately I've been having panic attacks on a fairly regular basis. Being exhausted doesn't help. Since starting work, I've been having a really hard time. I'm stressed and my milk supply is tanking, which just adds to the stress, and makes me feel like a complete failure as a mom. I feel like there is just not enough time in the day. Trying to fit in work, sleep, feeding the baby, pumping (I get about an ounce while at work, and have to make up the other 6 ounces she takes during the day when I'm at home), spending time with DH, cleaning, and me-time (which is non-existent), it's all more than I can handle. Last week I had to call in sick one day because I had a panic attack in the car on the way to work when the cupcakes I baked to share with the office toppled over in the car, and I realized that I was not okay. I spend all day worrying about everything. If DH is late picking me up from work on the days that he has the car, I'm convinced that there was an accident and that he and the baby are dead. I check on her constantly when she's in the crib, tiptoeing into the room and then holding my finger under her nose to make sure she's still breathing. I'm now having nightmares about really awful things happening to her.

I'm still trying to EBF but I know that if I have to supplement with formula, that's okay too. But with anxiety, knowing and feeling are two completely different things.

BF is still a priority for me, and I like to do my research beforehand so I have some ideas of what to expect when I talk to my doctor. I really don't like the idea of medication, especially because I want to continue to BF, but obviously I need to do something, and I don't think just talking to someone is going to cut it at this point. I feel like this is an actual sickness, and I'm worried that I'll be stuck with this forever. I don't want LO growing up with a nervous wreck for a mom, I want to be happy, healthy, and strong for her.

Sorry for such a long post. I guess I'm just hoping for a little support from others going through this, and I'm wondering what you're doing to help it. Thanks.

SnoopyLuv

Ssris like zoloftx prozac and paxil can help anxiety. Usually they'll give a short acting benzo like xanax or ativan but those aren't compatible with BF. Therapy can help a ton.

SnoopyLuv

Therapy can really help with giving you tools like logic statements or breathing techniques to calm you down.


I have been there. This won't last forever but you have to ask for help and use the help.

Babyherzog123

I have the same scary thoughts. You're not alone mama and you are doing a great job! ((Hugs))

ksimo6

I am on Zoloft as well. Helped me so much with the worry. I was sure LO was going to die at night while she was sleeping... I didn't sleep for weeks. Also, I was only getting about 6 oz total from 5-6 pumping sessions a day and when I decided to quit, a weight lifted off of me. Not saying you should quit, but take a look at what you can give up to help you. Cleaning? Errands? Enlist some help. Hugs.

ashleymarie512

I've been on Celexa in the past for anxiety and it worked well...not sure about BF though.

I second the idea of therapy...I had HORRIBLE anxiety when I was pregnant and trying to conceive and therapy was amazing. Helped me identify logic vs emotion and how to tell the difference in myself. You should be able to find a therapist that specializes in women's issues or pregnancy related mental health.

Good luck and kudos to you for realizing you need some help

Bunkster2008

Seriously...thank you so much for posting. I have started to have anxiety issues that are now interferring witb my daily life. My brother died really unexpectedly when DD2 was 3 weeks old and a few weeks after that I had myfirst panic attack...I am terrified of something happening to DD1. When I heard that my brother was in Hospital, I had a sinking feeling that he would not make it. A few hours later he was gone. I have the same terrifying feelings regarding dd1. Reading that other people are having the same emotional and physical responses make me think it is anxiety not intuition. I am having a hard time distinguishing between the twi.

unfortunately I am not able to get any type of help right now because DH started a new job about 3 weeks ago and we do not have insurance. I am not sure what to do.

BrittanyCupcakes

@Bunkster2008 see if your state or county offers any mental health care assistance. I can't tell you how many times I looked into it here, and then chickened out before making the call. Anxiety is such a weird concept, it's so easy to ignore or think that people won't understand or take you seriously, but living with this kind of perpetual fear isn't normal. Personally, I'm scared that it will get worse to the point where I'll be so afraid of everything that it will rub off on DD, and I don't want that at all. I don't want her to be afraid of the world just because mommy is. I want to set a better example for her, and I also don't want to force her to live in a bubble just because I'm afraid of something bad happening.

 

Honestly, my biggest fear, that I keep trying to push back, isn't that she's going to get hurt in a freak accident. It's that she'll end up with a terminal illness and that there won't be anything we can do to prevent it or help her. And it scares me the most because I won't be able to stop it.

sarah_norton

I was super anxious the first month or two as well. I still worry a bit but I feel like its more normal mothering than being ridiculous. I had anxiety attacks while on birth control too and had to stop taking it.

What helped the most is getting away from any stimulants: caffeine, sudafef, etc... Also a glass of wine and a bubble bath don't hurt

My anxiety did die down a lot after I stopped pumping. My LO also started sleeping through the night the first night without any BM. Not saying that it works for everyone but he just seems to handle the formula better I guess.

My biggest thing is I just give him to God every night. I pray for him and tell him goodnight and roll over and let God handle him for the rest. He's the one who's ultimately in control anyways and He cares for him more than I can even imagine so what better place to put your little one than in His hands:). Once I came to terms with this, I've slept much better.