Circumcised vs. Uncircumcised

s13farj9182

So, I was doing research on decisions that I will have to make, it was nothing serious, I came across the topic of circumcised vs. uncircumcised, while I left the decision up to my boyfriend because I obviously don't have a penis (he wants circumcision), I had no idea how controversial the issue actually was. I was just looking for opinions.

kristiedh

We're going circumcision. My husband is circumcised, so that's the main reason why. Plus, it's easier to keep clean when you can easily get to everything. That's my opinion. We won't even know if it's a boy til he's born

portentosa

This is a very controversial topic as some feel very strongly about their choice and why.

DH is circed and a couple years before DS was born we watched a documentary that opposed circ and DH and I both came out feeling very strongly pro circ. DH has seen circs performed at his hospital and he assured me that everything would be fine when I went into new mom scared mode after DS was born. DS is circed. It was the right decision for us.

Everyusernameistaken

Totally agree that it's a very personal choice with pros and cons on both sides. Just be aware that there are lots of crazy Internet people and misinformation on both sides, so be selective when you are doing your research.

KayNatural

If we have a boy, we're circumcising.  My hubby's mom got very sick after delivering him and his twin sister and couldn't consent to having him cut; it's something he's always wished he had, but getting it as an adult is beyond excruciatingly painful I hear...ouch (

dezbear

Like others have said it's very controversial and something I feel like the mother and father should decide on their own. For us I left it up to dh. We circumcised but I have a lot of friends that didn't do the same for their boys I just honestly think it's a private decision.

mariaculbreth

We had our DS circumsized. Right after he had it done he was fussy. But after that he was fine. I left the choice up to my husband because I read too much into the pros and cons. I wouldn't change getting him circed.

Edited to make sense

AmandaR204

DS is circd, he had a lot of issues with the skin adhering. It was very painful for him having the skin being retracted and and scraped for infections. There is no medical benefit to it's they say STDs but he health association says there is no concrete correlations, so it's aesthetic only, or religious,

ConversationFear

DH wants it and I will leave it up to him, as he has a penis and I do not. Any time I have suggested not doing it everyone reacts like we are shitty parents and that our potential son's penis is going to rot up and fall off if we don't do it. 

I personally think some people need to chill out about a lot of things, but that's just me I guess.

Irisheyes1247

AmandaR204 said:

DS is circd, he had a lot of issues with the skin adhering. It was very painful for him having the skin being retracted and and scraped for infections. There is no medical benefit to it's they say STDs but he health association says there is no concrete correlations, so it's aesthetic only, or religious,

@AmandaR204 - just out of curiosity, would you have any subsequent boys circ'd since your LO had a tough time? 

AmandaR204

Irisheyes1247 said:

AmandaR204 said:

DS is circd, he had a lot of issues with the skin adhering. It was very painful for him having the skin being retracted and and scraped for infections. There is no medical benefit to it's they say STDs but he health association says there is no concrete correlations, so it's aesthetic only, or religious,

@AmandaR204 - just out of curiosity, would you have any subsequent boys circ'd since your LO had a tough time? 

If it were only my decision, no I wouldn't. However DH feels very strongly about it for religious and aesthetic purposes, and he wouldn't want this child to look diff then his brother and father.

bear1215

Our boy is cut. There was no doubt that he wouldn't be. He had it done at 2 weeks, and was perfectly fine.

Like others have said, this decision is a personal choice between you and your SO.

JustCricket

trombgirl said:

This is a very controversial topic as some feel very strongly about their choice and why. DH is circed and a couple years before DS was born we watched a documentary that opposed circ and DH and I both came out feeling very strongly pro circ. DH has seen circs performed at his hospital and he assured me that everything would be fine when I went into new mom scared mode after DS was born. DS is circed. It was the right decision for us.

idk why but I find it reassuring that after watching an anti circ video you still came out pro circ. Iis there any reason why it made you more pro circ? or did it just not convince you that you should be anti circ. 

bethybeach

My DS is circd, my SS had his as well as a newborn and it was not done properly.  He is 9 and it was just fixed.  A little discomfort but he did ok.

If we had another boy it would be done as well.  It is a personal preference for everyone.

suitern

I guess I am on the odd one out. DH is circumcised and wishes he wasn't. DS isn't circumcised. We both did our research while I was pregnant, talked with the midwife, pediatrician, etc and made the decision together. DH didn't care at all if DS looked different. If you want some information I will be happy to give it to you in a PM. So far I am completley happy with our decision and DS hasn't had any problems. When he is old enough we will teach him how to care for it properly and keep it clean.

cmumama

it's a very personal decision.  Both of our boys are circumcised.

chardonnay24

My son isn't circ'd. If we have another boy, we will not be circ'ing him. My husband is circumcised and was originally for it, but only because of the "locker room" argument. We did our research and we are comfortable with our decision.

mariaculbreth

@flyawaycricket I ultimately left the choice up to my DH. He wanted his son to look like him and not get teased as he got older. I guess I didn't find strong enough evidence not to .

arschm02

I am surprised at how many say circumcised. DS is circumcised and if this one is a boy we will also circumcise him. However, I say this because on my other BMB we had a poll several months back and our boards was about 45% uncircumcised to 55% circumcised. In my childcare infant room I would say that it's lose to the same ratio.

 I agree with all pp in that it's a personal choice. Do some research about both and do what is right for you. Listen to other opinions but don't let others' opinions dictate your decisions. You have to be confident in the choice you make.

jmolr

definitely a personal choice and obviously there's no right or wrong.  Another board I'm on had this discussion recently and it got really heated to the point where one of the women told the moms who circumcised that we are essentially genitally mutilating our children.  It was horrible.  I did circumcise my son and we are raising him Jewish so we had a bris.  I will NEVER do this again.  If this baby is a boy I will still circumcise but in the hospital. 

JSS1002

arschm02 said:

I am surprised at how many say circumcised. DS is circumcised and if this one is a boy we will also circumcise him. However, I say this because on my other BMB we had a poll several months back and our boards was about 45% uncircumcised to 55% circumcised. In my childcare infant room I would say that it's lose to the same ratio.

 I agree with all pp in that it's a personal choice. Do some research about both and do what is right for you. Listen to other opinions but don't let others' opinions dictate your decisions. You have to be confident in the choice you make.

Arch, I am also recalling this convo from our April board and how unpleasant it was...

We circumcised and will do it again if we have another boy. WE actually never even questioned it. OUR pediatrician told us that there was slight less risk of future STDs with circumcision, which was a good enough reason for me. 

bookqueen

DH and DS are circ'd. If we have any more boys, they will also be circ'd.

GlitterMuffin914

It's such a personal decision, and there are benefits and risks on both sides of the choice. It's something you and your husband/partner should discuss early on once you know you're having a boy and feel comfortable with your decision. People will shake their fists at you either way, but if you're both comfortable with your decision, who cares.

Personally, if we have a boy, he will be circumcised. Honestly, I don't know what to do with an uncircumcised penis, and neither does my husband, frankly. We are just more comfortable going with what is familiar to us.

RedBaramid

I am just going to echo what a lot of people have said here about how it is very personal and everyone is entitled to their own opinions, however if the minion growing inside of me is a boy, he will not be getting "the cut."

My husband is Eastern European, his entire family is Eastern European(over there circ is really only done frequently based on religion), and it is not a religious thing for us, I see no reason for it.  I am not passionate about it, but my husband is so I will gladly let him shot call this one.

ashleyb1114

If we have a boy, he will be. My H is set on this and I don't have a penis so I left it to him. My stepson was born in Germany so he isn't. My h is looking into getting it done

TinkL0ver

I don't think we will circ. SO is but he doesn't seem to care much. I guess it will partly come to if insurance will cover it because I don't think we feel strong enough about it one way or another to pay out of pocket (which I hear is becoming more common). I've had several friends who had tough times with being intact and had to get circ'd later in life. One told me it was living hell. Part of me wants to save my baby the possible future pain but at the same time, the skin is there for a reason and who am I to take away a piece of my baby? As you can tell very iffy and insurance is still up in the air so we'll cross that bridge if it comes to that.

Everyusernameistaken

TippettFamilyOf4 said:

Un. Read the research. It is irrefutable.

Elaborate please?

SingleMom31

My brother's wast done at birth, and he ended up needing it done when he was 6 or 7 for medical reasons. It was much harder on him being older. For that reason, plus DH is, we'll have it done if this one is a boy.

teenybean

I have no agenda here when I say, it bothers me when people say they don't know what to do with one that isn't circ'd... The answer is nothing different. You change my 2 boys diapers just like any other. They aren't dirty or messy or difficult.

portentosa

flyawaycricket said:

trombgirl said:

This is a very controversial topic as some feel very strongly about their choice and why. DH is circed and a couple years before DS was born we watched a documentary that opposed circ and DH and I both came out feeling very strongly pro circ. DH has seen circs performed at his hospital and he assured me that everything would be fine when I went into new mom scared mode after DS was born. DS is circed. It was the right decision for us.

idk why but I find it reassuring that after watching an anti circ video you still came out pro circ. Iis there any reason why it made you more pro circ? or did it just not convince you that you should be anti circ. 

@flyawaycricket DH was already pro circ for aesthetic and (to him) hygiene reasons. I went into it with just a vague notion that I like DH circed, but no other opinion really...like I said this was a couple years before DS was born. The anti circ arguments left a bad taste in my mouth and flat out had DH screaming at the tv. For example they showed the thing they strap the baby into to prevent the baby from moving and made it out to be torture. DH has seen circs and was pissed at these 'circ is torture' arguments.

It is true that pain relief used to not be widely used, DH tells me they would give babies pacis with sugar water and the boys would barely notice the procedure. Pain meds, both cream and shot, ARE being more widely used these days though, I highly recommend talking to your pedi about all the specifics of the procedure. DS had an infection when born so he was circed at his 2 week appointment and the doc gave him a local anesthetic shot for the procedure. I cried more than he did. After the first fussy day he was totally ok. My biggest problem was with leaking diapers because of the petroleum jelly.

wrightpalomo

Just to chime in here- we won't be circumcising any boys in our family. This is a very touchy subject for a lot of people and I will say that I'm one of them.

I have to agree with @teenybean that I don't understand the "what do you do with it" camp. 

On a funny note, MIL was texting with me about the Boo the other day and was talking about different religious birth traditions (we're a pretty non-religious family) and she very gently suggested that we not follow through with all of those traditions, "especially the one for boys." Which would have irritated me had it been any other topic. I just laughed and told her no, we don't do that in our family. I imagine she was very worried that I was pro-circumcision and didn't quite know how to broach the subject with me. 

Nootbar

Not going to tell anyone what to do as I feel it's personal, but just FYI my brothers (born to a rare Midwestern hippie home birthing mom in the late 70's/early eighties) are not. They were NEVER teased about it growing up, nor did college gf's run in terror. They say the last thing a guy wants to be caught doing in the locker room is checking out the turtleneck on another guy's trouser snake. Seriously, this does NOT happen. One brother has kids now (two boys) and they are intact. No issues. FYI, you don't have to do anything special to care for an intact penis. Cleanse normally until the foreskin is retractable, then teach your son to retract and rinse with plain water for hygiene, perhaps adding a gentle, mild soap when (rarely) necessary. That's it. Most foreskin related problems occur when meddlesome or uneducated care givers forcibly retract it (poor babies!). Along the same lines as a vulva, it's remarkably easy to care for when treated with respect. There's my PSA for the night. On a personal note, my 16 year old son is not circumcised. He is educated about STDs and how they are transmitted and best prevented. When he was small, he asked once why ex-husband's penis looked different. We told him doctors used to think it was a good idea to stretch the skin out and cut the end off. Now we know that's not necessary. Some people also do it because it's important to their faith in God. He nodded and moved on.

bumpuser5078523

I cringed when I saw this post. I'm very impressed it didn't get nasty! Yay S14! =D>

Logan was circumcised at two weeks. They took him to the next room, and he literally only cried for about ten seconds. He was completely fine after, too.

There are horror stories for both sides. Do your research and make your own decision. I didn't care either way, so I left it up to H.

Ceridwen21

Uncircumcised. There is absolutely no medical benefit to routine infant circumcision. If DS is the one in 1000 who needs it later in life, he will get it done. I personally get very frustrated to read about moms who leave the decision entirely up to their partners because "they don't have a penis" so what do they know? You have a brain, and this is your child. Do some research.

amy006

My H is not and he has never had any issues with hygene or infections. It's really not much different caring for an uncircumsized penis as it is a circumsized one. He feels this is kind of an archaic, religious practice that has nothing to do with our lifestyle, so why do it? I'd have to agree. We will not be having this procedure done on our son.   

Ceridwen21

MermaidsMagic said:

We will not be circumcising our boys. I could give my spiel on why we won't,  but we arent, even though DH is. I think it's weird how many of you are basing your opinion on you want your sons to look like your SOs. How much time are they gonna spend staring at thier dads' wangs? 

Ceridwen21

Quote fail. My thoughts are: Seriously! And if you do spend a lot of naked time as a family, won't you already have to explain why DH's is bigger and has pubic hair?

BabyMayinMarch

We talked to our family doctor who said it was a personal and sometimes religious decision, and wouldn't give us a medical opinion either way.  I let DH decide (who is circumcised), and he made the decision for DS to not be circumcised. 

woestijnkat

My guy was circumcised as an adult for personal/health reasons. It was painful (obviously). I feel comfortable leaving the decision to him because he has first hand experience with making the choice for himself, and with the procedure and recovery, and because he's going to be a SAHD, so he'll have primary care-taking (and cleaning and potty training) responsibility. I believe he doesn't want to circumcise. He's also European, where it seems to be far less common.

Anecdotally speaking, Jewish friends just had their infant circumcised, and due to rare complications the baby had to be resuscitated and receive two blood transfusions.

For them and their faith, it's an important ritual. For my (prospective) son as a non-Jew, it would be elective and unnecessary surgery. Since I'm opposed to those things for myself, I can't imagine that I would make that choice for my child.

HOWEVER: it's your choice.

aggiefrau08

DH is circ'ed. DS is not. We won't circ any future boys.

courtney4425

I'm leaving this decision up to DH.... He researched ad decided we will circ. he is also circ'd. Super personal decision, and I respect both sides of the argument. However I feel like it's best for me to leave that one up to the parent with a penis. I tend to make all of the other major decisions anyway.