2nd Trimester

Feeling like a total disgrace

I'm 17 (going on 18) weeks and I feel so exhausted all. the. time!  Before getting pregnant, I did ballet at least 4-5 times a week for several hours a day (mixed it up with pilates as well as yoga and the gym) butI had to stop when morning sickness took over my life and my only work out was running for something to puke in.  Now that the morning sickness has subsided a bit, I can barely get myself to do an hour of pilates a day. I actually fell asleep on my yoga mat the other day halfway through my pre-ballet yoga/warm-up.  I feel horrible about it!  The only thing keeping me somewhat sane during this is that my pointes still fit but I'm dreading the day I get sausage feet. I want to be able to get back to ballet class but now that I put on 13 lbs (I was never super skinny to begin with but I never had a stomach either), I'm really self conscious since it doesn't quite look bump-ish yet, more like I've been eating too much.  Not to mention, gaining the weight has triggered my ED (although, since I'm aware of the trigger my dr says it's more like lowercase ed, not ED, which she considers a huge improvement).  How have you other ladies been dealing with the whole epic fatigue, working-out-but-gaining-weight thing?  When does it stop looking like fat and more like a bump?!  

Re: Feeling like a total disgrace

  • Thank you for saying it's temporary!  My parents and aunts have kept isisting how permanent it is since they were never able to lose the 45-60+ lbs they gained.  I'm so sick of people,especially men (seriously WTF?!) saying that you will never be the same size again after you have a baby!  

    I still feel crappy about the weight gain but it really helps to hear other people say that it doesn't last.  Thanks!

    PS Your due date is 2 days before mine so YAY for July Babies!
  • argonneargonne member
    edited February 2014
    KAGPowell said:
    Thank you for saying it's temporary!  My parents and aunts have kept isisting how permanent it is since they were never able to lose the 45-60+ lbs they gained.  I'm so sick of people,especially men (seriously WTF?!) saying that you will never be the same size again after you have a baby!  

    I still feel crappy about the weight gain but it really helps to hear other people say that it doesn't last.  Thanks!

    PS Your due date is 2 days before mine so YAY for July Babies!

    As someone who is active and body conscious, too, the weight gain is temporary and for a good reason.  As long as you're making healthy food choices and staying somewhat active, your body will gain what it needs to.  You may need to work a little bit after the baby arrives, but it can be done.

    ETA:  I was under my pre-PG weight at about 3 weeks post-partum.  I usually indulge in good beer and, since I couldn't have any good beer while pregnant, I didn't get those extra, empty calories. I am also a runner/triathlete, so I swam and ran (with some cycling) throughout my entire pregnancy.  I mostly attribute that to being able to bounce back quickly.

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  • I haven't had to deal with an ED, but I've dealt with body image issues the majority of the adult life so hopefully what I have to say helps.

    I completely understand the feelings you're having. Personally, I feel useless. I just couldn't get myself to workout during the first trimester and when the second tri hit, getting back the endurance and tone I'd previously had just wasn't something I was willing to do. I recognize that it was mainly psychological for me I could have worked out, but just didn't. I miss being able to do proper form push ups, missing being able to run without getting (terribly) winded, I just miss feeling strong.

    I started this pregnancy overweight and while I've only gained 9lbs at 22 weeks, I don't feel good. I'm inching closer to a number on the scale I told myself I'd never see again and while I get it's "for a good reason", it still sucks to see the number creep up.

    As a PP said, just focus on keeping your weight gain healthy and remember that you'll be able to get back to yourself in a few months time. Life will be different as you'll have your little one with you and you may need to adjust your fitness routine. But speaking from personal experience it'll be physically a bit easier when you're not lugging around a watermelon in your belly, but can put said watermelon down for 30 minutes while you squeeze in some exercise.  :)

    As for the bump, with both my first and current pregnancy I was about 5 months along before I finally looked pregnant and not just big.

    Hang in there, lots of hugs and just try to focus as best you can on being healthy and eating the right things for now.

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  • Thank you, guys!  Everyone on here is soooooo much friendlier and more "normal" than on other boards.  I'm not up to watermelon-sized yet but I can only imagine how working out with something melon sized strapped to your stomach. lol.  
  • Hang in there!  So long as you eat healthy and stay active the weight will come right off after baby. For now, gaining a little bit of weight is important for the growth and development of your LO.  I'm sure in a few more weeks you will like the look of your bump a bit more.  I remember during my first pregnancy I felt better about my bump around 20 weeks!  Best wishes!
  • You already got a lot of great advice. I just wanted to chime in because sometimes people talking about losing weight w/i weeks of giving birth irks me. Major kudos to them, but not the experience of a lot of women. I bf and had supply issues, so I ate a lot of cals trying to fix that. When I stopped at 10 months and went on a healthy diet, I was below my pp weight in about three months.
  • I think I've gotten to the gym once since we found out we are having a baby. I just can't get myself to do housework some days, let alone to workout. I have however been focusing as much as I can on making healthy food choices and remembering I don't need to eat for two or have three slices of cake.

    The weigh is temporary. A lot of things are going on with your body, fluids are increasing, breast tissue is growing, you have added a placenta, and there is a baby in there. There are some women who gain a lot in the start and hardly anything towards the end. Other women may gain 35 pounds and drop it quickly. If you are focusing on keeping a healthy diet and being as active as you can manage right now then it will be easier for the weight to slip off after the baby is here.

    I know up until about 18 weeks every time I looked at myself I would feel like crap. All I saw was my tummy getting lumpy, or my pants not fitting and my ED would be triggered. I'm not sure I can pin point the moment it happened, but now at 21 weeks when I look at myself I see a bump, and I know there is a baby wiggling and kicking around in there. My husband keeps reminding me of how my chaining body is just becoming a home for our wiggling, happy little baby.
    BFP: July 2013 M/C August 5, 2013
    BFP: October 22, 2013 EDD: June 21, 2014
    Baby boy arrived June 23, 2014

    BFP: February 2016 EDD: October 17, 2016
  • my concern is that on fri, it turns out I've gained 20 lbs and that freaked me out even though all my clothes still fit (except in the bump area), and that I put on 5 lbs in a week.  Any other day, that would have sent me into a purging rage and running for the diuretics.  I'm also noticing my jacket getting tighter across the shoulders/chest which really bothers me even though my fiance is loving the bigger boobs (I just find they get in the way a lot).  
  • I know my experience isn't typical, but I lost the 30 lbs I gained while pregnant in 5 weeks, and fit in my pants again. My shirts don't fit because I am breastfeeding and gained a few cup sizes.

    It is possible to lose quickly-do your best to accept your body now and after baby comes. I promise your baby will be worth whatever changes she/he brings to your body and your life!
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    Parent of Baby Boy M, born December 2013 Angels: Miscarriage @ 9 weeks, May 2015, Chemical Pregnancy November 2015



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  • As a former ballet dancer who struggled with an ED for most of my life, I completely feel your pain. Since meeting my husband, I've actually been great (and put on a lot of weight). Some days I was ok with that, and some days I wasn't. Now that I'm pregnant, I am struggling with it again. Especially since I am going into this pregnancy overweight. I defiantly recommend not weighing yourself and telling your dr to not tell you your weight. As hard as it is, you have to give the baby the nutrients it needs to thrive. Not to mention, if you put on the weight because you're eating healthy foods (just more of them), its easier to take it off. Just remember, there is always someone you can talk to (even if its just here!) I hope you have a H&H pregnancy! *hugs*
    It's so  good to hear from another ballerina, esp one who  has done the whole ED hell thing!  I'm actually afraid to show my face at a simple double barre session because i feel like it all looks like fat!  The two things, besides fruit, but that seems to be a constant juicy/sugary craving I have all the time, I want to eat all the time are cottage cheese and salsa (my drs cringe at the amount of acid in salsa but I love tomatoes and onions!) and I feel like such a fatty for downing a pint of cottage cheese at a time.  I'm also going in 20 lbs overweight and now I've hit some of the highest numbers ever on the scale and it freaks me out.  It's like I know that I'm weighing for two but it triggers the tiny anorexic bit of me.    I really thought I would be okay with the weight gain but I guess I didn't think of how it would look scale-wise.   It's just tough with all the teeny tiny ballerinas around me not only judging me for being sooo much older than them (at least that's what they think in their teenage minds.lol) along with being double their weight. blerg.
  • As someone in recovery from an ED, it really helped me thinking what PPs have said: it's temporary and for good reason. I'm petite and very active outside of pregnancy (running 6 days/week plus some strength stuff), but I've been too exhausted during either of my pregnancies to really work out at all.

    I stopped looking in the mirror, honestly, and only weigh myself at the doctor (though some people don't even look at that). This time, it's helped me that I gained almost 60 lbs with DD and was able to lose it in the 6 months before I got pregnant again, so I know I can do that again this time. I will say, though, for me, the first 2-3 months post-partum were the hardest, body image wise. I had no problem beginning to run and workout 4 weeks after baby, though, and that did help me.

    Good luck to you! It's rough, but temporary. :)

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  • take a deep breath and be kind to yourself, you're growing a baby!  I understand where you're coming from from a few similar perspectives.  Over the past few years I've lost 75 pounds and finally got to a point where I was really healthy and loving exercising.  Being pregnant has been tough mentally, knowing that weight gain is normal!  For years I would go on the scale for weight loss, not weight gain, so this is definitely hard.  Are you able to break up exercise and do 10-15 minutes at a time?  There are lots of yoga, pilates, strength and cardio videos on youtube that are between 10-20 minutes and I find them to be really helpful.  For me, I feel like fitting in 10-30 minutes of exercise a day really lifts my mood and helps me think that I am being healthy for me AND baby, while also keeping my weight and muscle tone somewhat in control :)

    As for the stupid people who say you'll never be able to lose the weight afterward, ignore them! (as hard as that might be).  My mom said that to my sister when she was pregnant (horrible thing to say to someone who struggled with anorexia!)  True, my sister did gain a good amount of weight, but she was determined to get back into shape, and she did!  It's all about YOU, and no one else's unwanted opinions!



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  • I try to do it all at once since I have housework, work I do from home, and another job in the evening, plus a lot of dr appointments and errands to run since once I'm out of the house at usually around 2:30pm I'm out until 9pm when I finally get home and cook dinner or fold laundry or trying to fit in more dance or school or another job. On other days, when I can actually make it to a morning dance class, I have even less time to fit in little workouts since I have to factor in over an hour travel time.
  • It is temporary.  After I had my son I rejoined WW and within a reasonable amount of time I weighed about 15 pounds less than I did when I was first pregnant.  I know the same thing will happen again with this pregnancy.
    Missing our Little Pumpkin BFP 2-19-09, MC 3-1-09 Mommy and Daddy miss you and love you so very much! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


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  • I just let go. I accept this tiredness for what it is: my body working very hard, at something I have zero control over. I also believe that the tiredness exists for a reason. once it subsides, I'm right back to working out & feeling great. it's really hard to accept the changes esoecially the first time, but an hour of Pilates is no small feat. I hope you find peace in what your body tells you! :)
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  • This has become my motto during pregnancy "Do what you feel like."  There have been a couple of weeks where I've been too tired or constipated to work out and it sucks.  Other days, I get home from work at 5 and have no intention of working out, but my body feels good that particular day, so I go work out.

    Same way with eating.  I eat pretty healthy and normal.  Didn't gain any weight in my first tri and have steadily gained 1 lb each week so far (I'm 21 weeks - gained 7 lbs).  So far I haven't had too many "junk food" cravings.  But I do indulge when I get them and dont' beat myself up for it.

    I weight myself every morning though to make sure I'm on track.  I'm not going to gain extra weight and eat whatever I want when I want.  I have a ton of friends who gained 50-60 lbs during their pregnancy and regret it afterwards.

    Don't beat yourself up.  You're growing a human!!  Work out when you feel like it and eat healthy, but indulge a little if you want it.  No worries.  You'll get back to working out as soon as you get your energy back. :)   Keep doing your best!!

  • Right now, I'm pretty sure a lot of it is bloating and constipation( seriously, why do people like to let you find out about this on your own? My cousin could not stop laughing at me for finally experiencing it myself) but it's just really aggravating. It's starting to look a little more bump-ish which is helping my sanity.
  • It is very normal for you to feel a little insecure. My skin has gotten like red blotches all over it and just looks awful. I don't take time on my hair anymore, and I feel like no matter how much make up I put on it just looks average and I never look "pretty". I hate the way my body has proportioned out since I've started showing too. I just try so hard to remind myself that this is short term and I will get myself back soon. I also try to remind myself that before I was pregnant I looked at pregnant women so differently. I always thought they just looked radiant and beautiful. This helps me think maybe it's just me and everyone else seems this pretty little pregnant lady. You're not alone :)

    It's a BOY










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