I'm 17 (going on 18) weeks and I feel so exhausted all. the. time! Before getting pregnant, I did ballet at least 4-5 times a week for several hours a day (mixed it up with pilates as well as yoga and the gym) butI had to stop when morning sickness took over my life and my only work out was running for something to puke in. Now that the morning sickness has subsided a bit, I can barely get myself to do an hour of pilates a day. I actually fell asleep on my yoga mat the other day halfway through my pre-ballet yoga/warm-up. I feel horrible about it! The only thing keeping me somewhat sane during this is that my pointes still fit but I'm dreading the day I get sausage feet. I want to be able to get back to ballet class but now that I put on 13 lbs (I was never super skinny to begin with but I never had a stomach either), I'm really self conscious since it doesn't quite look bump-ish yet, more like I've been eating too much. Not to mention, gaining the weight has triggered my ED (although, since I'm aware of the trigger my dr says it's more like lowercase ed, not ED, which she considers a huge improvement). How have you other ladies been dealing with the whole epic fatigue, working-out-but-gaining-weight thing? When does it stop looking like fat and more like a bump?!
Re: Feeling like a total disgrace
As someone who is active and body conscious, too, the weight gain is temporary and for a good reason. As long as you're making healthy food choices and staying somewhat active, your body will gain what it needs to. You may need to work a little bit after the baby arrives, but it can be done.
ETA: I was under my pre-PG weight at about 3 weeks post-partum. I usually indulge in good beer and, since I couldn't have any good beer while pregnant, I didn't get those extra, empty calories. I am also a runner/triathlete, so I swam and ran (with some cycling) throughout my entire pregnancy. I mostly attribute that to being able to bounce back quickly.
I haven't had to deal with an ED, but I've dealt with body image issues the majority of the adult life so hopefully what I have to say helps.
I completely understand the feelings you're having. Personally, I feel useless. I just couldn't get myself to workout during the first trimester and when the second tri hit, getting back the endurance and tone I'd previously had just wasn't something I was willing to do. I recognize that it was mainly psychological for me I could have worked out, but just didn't. I miss being able to do proper form push ups, missing being able to run without getting (terribly) winded, I just miss feeling strong.
I started this pregnancy overweight and while I've only gained 9lbs at 22 weeks, I don't feel good. I'm inching closer to a number on the scale I told myself I'd never see again and while I get it's "for a good reason", it still sucks to see the number creep up.
As a PP said, just focus on keeping your weight gain healthy and remember that you'll be able to get back to yourself in a few months time. Life will be different as you'll have your little one with you and you may need to adjust your fitness routine. But speaking from personal experience it'll be physically a bit easier when you're not lugging around a watermelon in your belly, but can put said watermelon down for 30 minutes while you squeeze in some exercise.
As for the bump, with both my first and current pregnancy I was about 5 months along before I finally looked pregnant and not just big.
Hang in there, lots of hugs and just try to focus as best you can on being healthy and eating the right things for now.
BFP: February 2016 EDD: October 17, 2016
I stopped looking in the mirror, honestly, and only weigh myself at the doctor (though some people don't even look at that). This time, it's helped me that I gained almost 60 lbs with DD and was able to lose it in the 6 months before I got pregnant again, so I know I can do that again this time. I will say, though, for me, the first 2-3 months post-partum were the hardest, body image wise. I had no problem beginning to run and workout 4 weeks after baby, though, and that did help me.
Good luck to you! It's rough, but temporary.
As for the stupid people who say you'll never be able to lose the weight afterward, ignore them! (as hard as that might be). My mom said that to my sister when she was pregnant (horrible thing to say to someone who struggled with anorexia!) True, my sister did gain a good amount of weight, but she was determined to get back into shape, and she did! It's all about YOU, and no one else's unwanted opinions!
This has become my motto during pregnancy "Do what you feel like." There have been a couple of weeks where I've been too tired or constipated to work out and it sucks. Other days, I get home from work at 5 and have no intention of working out, but my body feels good that particular day, so I go work out.
Same way with eating. I eat pretty healthy and normal. Didn't gain any weight in my first tri and have steadily gained 1 lb each week so far (I'm 21 weeks - gained 7 lbs). So far I haven't had too many "junk food" cravings. But I do indulge when I get them and dont' beat myself up for it.
I weight myself every morning though to make sure I'm on track. I'm not going to gain extra weight and eat whatever I want when I want. I have a ton of friends who gained 50-60 lbs during their pregnancy and regret it afterwards.
Don't beat yourself up. You're growing a human!! Work out when you feel like it and eat healthy, but indulge a little if you want it. No worries. You'll get back to working out as soon as you get your energy back.
Keep doing your best!!