Bisexual/queer women, come in XP parenting

bella&baby

I am someone who has only had meaningful and loving relationships with women. I enjoy sex with men, and I enjoy men in general, but I find myself skeptical when it comes to having deep feelings for a man. It was recently brought to my attention that I'm insecure in my queer identity, and that I am drawn to comfortable "out" lesbians even though I can't occupy that space myself. In this realization, I came to see that I can't be comfortable in a straight identity, and I frequently work to set myself apart because it is not comfortable for me. Is there anyone out there who can relate? Since having my son, the desire for a "normal life" has been strong, and I hadn't thought about it much before becoming a mother. But I struggle with it now. I was just wanting to hear from other women/mothers. I wish I could feel at home in one sexual identity. I don't want my child to face adversity because of who I am. I also don't want to live my life with internalized homophobia. So I'm asking you to please share your opinions/stories. I don't want to struggle with my sexuality forever, but I deeply fear that this is the price of being bisexual.
Thank you for anyone who is willing to share with me. It's personal and difficult, I know. I hope there's someone out there who feels comfortable sharing with me. I don't have a lot of people in my life who understand.