Introduction with Questions!

HollyAndAsh

My partner and I have been together for five years this month, and had our commitment ceremony about two years ago. We were going to start the process to take us from a couple with four legged fur babies to real babies last year, but decided to pay off some debt instead. That took us through an entire year of me wishing we had tried for a baby instead. We are now in February, and will be meeting with a new Fertility center this coming Wednesday. We met with one last year when we thought we were going to try, but we feel like he is overcharging, and wouldn't give us prices up front. The new place is willing to give us prices and answer all questions as we ask them. We are so excited to start this process, and so is our family. I am getting a little anxious and we haven't even met with the new fertility doctor! Ahh! My questions I had if someone wouldn't mind giving me insight: 

1. How many vials did you start with? I saw someone mentioned going in one day and then going back the next day for back to back? Does that mean they used three vials in that two day period? (If so I need to save a lot more money than I have planned!)

2. Did you use Fairfax Cryobank or the California Cryobank? Reviews on either of them? 

3. I know there is so much more to this than I am realizing. How did you not stress out? 

We are hoping for all of this to work out in the first or two tries. I have no reason to believe it won't since my body is pretty regular, and last year all of my numbers were fine when we thought we wanted to start this process. I am just so nervous, and hoping it all works out! 

2MamazInSeattle

Welcome! You will find a wealth of knowledge here and a wide variety of paths that people are on now, or took to reach success.

I had a very different path than you, however we did use California Cryo and all up had a good experience and good service. Because we did IVF, we only needed one vial so cost was no issue to us so I can't speak to that. Others on the board used Fairfax and I'm sure will chime in.

There are a few lucky folks on the board who got their BFP on cycle one or two and I hope you can join that crowd! Statistically there is about a 20% chance of success when all pieces are in place so keep that in mind. Not to be discouraging, but many here will tell you they were in your shoes once and didn't consider it could take longer than a couple tries.

Stick around and join in the Monday TTC thread, and read all our siggys as it gives you some history on each of us. Also read the parenting checkin on Mondays, you can see the experience of people who now have kids and how they got there.

Welcome again!!

healz413

Welcome!
1. Different REs have different recommendations for how to do IUIs. Or RE only does one insemination per cycle when you are using purchased sperm. An RE should be able to the insemination very close to your actualy ovulation (especially by your second cycle when they've had a whole cycle I learn your body and timing).
Personally I agree with our REs decision on this one. The way I think about it is that if you have two vials of sperm, you can either do one insemination a month for two months or two inseminations a month for one month. For almost everybody doing an IUI, the chance of getting pregnant with two months of trying wih one vial is going to be better than the chances of getting pregnant in one month with two vials.
Now if you are entirely out of pocket for all your RE appointment and ultrasounds and medications, it may get to the point where the sperm is a small cost compared to everything else and it is worth it to do two inseminations a month, especially if you're doing an injectables cycle with expensive drugs.
I can't think of a situation where you would use three vials a month for IUIs. I think people who do that are usually using known donor sperm at home and cost of sperm is not a factor.

2. We used xytex. We are in Canada though so the costs where all the same for us because the importation was being handled by a third party company who we paid.

3. We did stress out. There's not much avoiding that. It is mainly coping that you can work on. We've gone to a lot of movies and spent a lot of time on this board.

Also I agree with @2mamazinseattle about not counting on a 1-2 cycle go of it. Maybe you'll get lucky (plenty of people do) but a lot of people have an unexpectedly difficult time getting pregnant.

Good luck!

mwagner25

Hello and welcome. 

 We bought six vials initially when we started TTC, we hope to have 2 children from those six. We conceived our son on our 3rd IUI, which is actually fairly quick. The national average(in America) is 8 IUIs to have a pregnancy. We are actually thinking about buying more since we would like to have the same donor and are not sure three vials will be enough for #2. I have friends who have bought only 1 or 2 vials at a time which was actually a blessing since the count and motility for their donor wasn't as good as they hoped and they ended up switching donors. So I think that there are two different schools of thought on this. Some people go with buying more from one donor vs buying just one to try. Both have a strong pro/con list that you and your SO have to decide what's important to you. 

 We used Cryogenics, it was more reasonably priced than California Cryo and we didn't have to pay for *extras* like photos, interviews, ect with donor. California Cryo charged for these. We didn't look into Fairfax. 

 It is stressful and fun and happy and sad and trying. Just know that you are in for a ride and ups and downs. Keep communicating with one another. It's all worth it at the end.

SweetPea0307

Welcome!

I'm also new here, and in a very similar boat as you. We also decided to wait a year, though for different reasons, and I totally wish we just had a baby already! I'm currently in the TWW after my 2nd IUI.

1. The program we're using believes 1 well-timed insemination is best; 2 per cycle doesn't significantly increase chances according to their data. They also suggested we buy 3-5 vials, since if it didn't work by then, they recommend trying a different donor.

2. We used California Cryobank. I think they might be one of the pricier ones, but they have the easiest to use website and search function, and we were willing to pay for the convenience. They've been very quick, easy, and responsive, so I'd recommend them.

3. Yeah... I don't think there's any way not to stress out. Pretty much every stage of the process has it's own unique set of stresses.

I hope it's a quick process for you. But don't get your hopes up too high for it (way easier said than done, I know!). It's really easy to get way ahead of yourself and start thinking things like 'well if we have an October baby, we can...' and that makes it even harder when that cycle doesn't work out.

But overall, just try not to let the craziness get to you, and good luck!

ball.and.chain

Hi and welcome!

1. We only bought 2 vials at a time.  The sperm for our first donor was not great, so I'm glad we did this.  Yes, donors sell out -- but unless you are using very specific criteria to select yours, you can always switch to a new donor.  If you buy a ton of sperm up front and the numbers don't look good, you are stuck with those vials.  I also agree with @healz413 on back-to-back IUIs -- I don't think they increase your odds enough to be worth doubling your sperm costs.

2. There are a lot of banks out there so definitely shop around!  We used California Cryobank because we liked their selection the best.  That said, they are pricier than some others and we were frustrated with the quality issues we had.  Their customer service was excellent though.

3. We stressed out.  There was no way not to.  See siggy.

I agree with what others have said about not counting on it working in the first two tries.  It might, which would be awesome for you.  But I also went into this process with no health issues, regular cycles, good numbers, and I was under 35 -- and yet 9 IUIs resulted in no baby and we moved on to IVF.  It happens.

Good luck!

ATXmommas

1. We went the route of purchasing all the vials we thought we would need for two children - 9 vials. We went through 5 to get our take home baby, leaving 4 to try to make #2. We did 1 IUI per cycle. Like others have said, our RE also said that there is no evidence to indicate that back-to-back IUIs increases chances of pregnancy, especially with no known fertility problems. Also, like others have said, there is only a 20% chance of pregnancy with each IUI even with perfectly regulated cycles and no known fertility issues. We had that in mind when we bought 9. Since I don't have a siggy, I'll tell you that it took 3 IUIs to get pregnant the first time, but sadly we lost our baby at 13 weeks. It took two tries to get pregnant with our son. So 5 tries in a year's time to get pregnant with our take-home baby.

2. Fairfax. Excellent customer service and excellent sperm quality with each of the 5 vials we have used.

3. Maybe lower expectations just a bit. That way if you get pregnant in 1 or 2 tries, you will feel even more lucky and grateful for quick success and not be as concerned if it takes a bit longer, as it does for many of us. That said, TTC is an intensely intimate and emotional experience, so you are bound to be stressed in some form or fashion. I remember the heavy beat of my heart when I hit the button to finalize the purchase of our vials! Such huge decisions await. Try to live a very balanced life, as it is easy to become hyper focused on TTC, which is not neccessarily the healthiest thing for your mental state.

Much luck to you!

StacyLH24

Welcome.

1. We bought three vials the first time because our RE said he would do surgery after three failed attempts to see what was going on. Well, that ended up needing to happen. So, now we have another three vials.

2. We used Northwest Cryobank. Much cheaper than others and probably less options, but we found what we were looking for.

3. The stress will happen and there isn't much you can do to stop it. You need to figure out how you can best deal with it individually and together.

Your goal of 1-2 tries is understandable, but potentially not realistic. I hope you have a very easy time getting pregnant. FWIW...I had very regular cycles up until this current one. My blood work and such was all pretty good as well. We have had 3 IUIs and no pregnancy. You never know exactly what is going on in your body. As it turned out, I had endometriosis, which was preventing me from getting pregnant. I also had a uterine septum that was worse than what we originally thought. Also, I know that it can take healthy heterosexual couples up to a year to get pregnant. It can be a frustrating process and you will potentially have to make choices and go down paths that you never thought you would.

Please join us on Mondays for the TTC Check In thread.

HollynLeana

Hi! So cute you're HollyandAsh and I'm HollyandLeana! Well....I'm the Holly in our equation, and I'm happy to "meet" you. We are fairly new to this as well, and I hope I can offer some help. Definitely join the TTC thread on Mondays...it's helpful. Good luck to you!
1. We use Xytex, and they are wonderful. great service and sperm is high quality. That said...we ordered 2 vials for the first IUI in oct13, used one, got pregnant on the first try (we thought we were a miracle lesbian couple)! We lost the baby 7 weeks later....and waited one cycle to try again, which we did Jan14, and just recently got our BFN. Now we are buying more vials. Doc likes us to have two in case one is a dud, but our first IUI (both were medicated and monitored) cost $5k, the second was a little over $3k (because we had the left over vial). My doc only does one IUI per cycle, and we have chosen to do the next IUI unmedicated, as the Clomid is causing cysts.
2. Xytex--great service, high numbers, high motility
3. Hahahahahaha! I know I asked this same question a few months back when we started....you just stress out and manage it the best way you know how. I exercise, watch TV, and Bump constantly. I think for me, because I had the excitement of the BFP and the crushing heartbreak of the loss, the stress is very real. I "what if" everything. My doctor is very reassuring. Make sure you like yours and that they are patient with you and your "what ifs".
Like PP have said it may take more tries, but it's the believing and the power of your already super positive attitude that will get you through it. Stay that way, even if you face disappointments. Pick yourself up and get back in the game. On these boards are some of the toughest ladies I've ever "met". They have faced hell while TTC and they keep at it. Be a TTC soldier! I just got the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility-get it! Also, like @sweetpea0307, I am new to a lot of this as well...DW and I are navigating just like you, so feel free to PM me with any questions, concerns, really anything! I am happy to help any way I can!

shelly2314

1. How many vials did you start with? I saw someone mentioned going in one day and then going back the next day for back to back? Does that mean they used three vials in that two day period? We ordered two vials for our first time. Our doctor only used 1 vial each time we did our IUI. He didn't see the need to use more than one and was very conscientious about any amount of money we would be spending

 

2. Did you use Fairfax Cryobank or the California Cryobank? Reviews on either of them? 

We used CCB. No real reason over the other, other than I found the CCB website easier to utilize. They have been amazing working with me, phone calls, genetics department, etc whenever I have called and asked a dozen or more questions

3. I know there is so much more to this than I am realizing. How did you not stress out? 

We wish we could tell you we didn't stress.  It is a process that was more taxing than even I thought it would be. I highly recommend acupuncture and massage leading up to the procedure to help. We didn't start this until after try #3 and amazingly it worked for try #4.

 

Also helped to take a LOT of walks with the wife and pups to exercise off some energy and talk

Jazibel

Good luck & welcome.

When we were doing IUI's (at home with a midwife) we did 1 per month. Our TTC journey meanders a bit (we started - tried 5 times stopped). Got lucky on our 1st at-home IUI a year later but unfortunately that pregnancy ended in a loss. We did end up getting pregnant again using ICI and KD sperm. But anyway I wanted to say I wish you all the best of luck and hopefully a BFP and healthy baby in the near future.
The one thing I wished I'd kept in mind though when I started on this journey is that the path can... well...meander ;-) I felt a lot of pressure to be successful quickly and that resulted in a lot of sadness and disappointment on my and my wife's part.

We used the Sperm Bank of California because we could pick up the vials. We bought 1 per month. There were a few donors we liked so we kept tabs on them and even changed at one point for reason of increased #'s, motility.

This is a great community - and it's so amazing to be starting your journey. Wishing you all the best.

KH826

Welcome and best of luck starting your TTC journey! I think previous posters have covered a lot of ground here, so I won't rehash. In terms of my experience, we started out with 3 vials from Fairfax. I have no complaints about Fairfax -- they had a good selection and all three vials had good counts and motility. Unfortunately, we didn't get pregnant with any of those 3 vials. At that point, our RE suggested we consider trying a new donor. By that point, we were becoming concerned with cost (we were entirely out of pocket for all things TTC), so we decided to switch to Northwest Cryo (they were about half the cost of Fairfax). We ordered 3 more vials at that point, and also have no complaints about that bank. They had fewer donors to pick from, but we found one we liked, so that didn't bother us. Again, great counts and motility for our next two IUIs, but neither of those resulted in a pregnancy either. After 5 IUIs we decided to move to IVF (mainly for financial and emotional reasons), and we used our last vial from Northwest for our IVF cycle (which ended with our current pregnancy and 10 embryos in the freezer). At any rate, I must echo what other folks have said about expectations. Never did I think we would end up doing IVF, and never did I think we would have 5 unsuccessful IUIs and spend as much money as we did. Each month while TTC I was reminded that the best laid plans when TTC are in fact just plans/dreams. I too was very healthy and regular before we started TTC, but alas it was not the walk in the park I had hoped for. So please just keep your optimism, but be prepared for wherever your journey takes you. It will surely be a roller coaster no matter what -- it seems it almost always is. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress!