My bf is scared of me...:-(

Lacrystal21

Hi I have post postpartum depression and I recently found out. Three weeks ago me and my bf well ex now broke things off because we just truly needed a break. Once I realized it my postpartum depression got worse. I went to his home and we had a blow up argument. I hit the window and broke it. Then we took another break at that point I started to have bad anxiety attacks and panic attacks. I couldn't leave him alone I just felt I needed him. I totally scared him away. I had never done anything like this in my life before. I said the most nastiest things to him and I called and texted him every 5 seconds. I couldn't eat or sleep I was constantly riding and I cried about every little thing. After I realized something was truly wrong I checked myself into the hospital. The last time I seen my bf was him telling me to stay away. I have spoken to him he tried to understand but I had another outburst. I truly don't want to lose him. What should I do?

emilie250

Your priority should be your health right now. You need to seek support and follow the suggestions doctors and counsellors make. When you're calm, call your boyfriend and explain to him what has been going on and what you're doing about it; also tell him how he can see the baby; let him know that you're focusing on getting healthy and that you would love him to stand by your side but understand if he needs a bit of distance. Maybe ask a counsellor to help you come up with what you're going to say to him. If you don't think you can stay calm during the conversation, send him an email. Then, focus on your health. Learn coping techniques for when anxiety and panic set in. Meditate, exercise, eat good food, spend time with supportive people who care about you. Give your boyfriend some time to settle down as well, it sounds like the situation was very volatile and he may not be ready to be calm yet. You can work that out later if he's not ready… More than anything, your baby needs a healthy mom so do everything you can to be that for him/her.

Lacrystal21

That's the thing there is no baby I miscarried and watched a terrible person throw him away like he was trash.

[Deleted User]

I am so sorry for your loss. You are dealing with a lot right now. Is there anyone else you can lean on aside from your BF? He is going through a lot too. If he'll agree to it, it would probably be helpful for both of you to see a counselor together (or even apart, if he isn't seeing anyone himself).

I agree with what PP said: right now you need to focus on healing yourself. Be gentle and patient with yourself, you have been through a traumatic experience and need time to heal. Best wishes to you and ((hugs)).