One & Done: Only child
Chapter79
member
Friends
Chapter79
member
Do you guys make friends easily?
Do you think women who work make friends easier than SAHM's, since you're surrounded by more people?
I suck at making friends in my 30's
99% of my friends are from my childhood. Which is awesome, we're super close. But they've all moved away from our hometown. And I was hoping once DD started school making friends would be easier. But I've really only made one. And she isn't someone that would ever be super close to me.. like.. "if you ever need me, you can call me at ANY time" type of friend. I haven't made one of those since I was a kid.
It bums me out, and I don't know why? Do any of you ever feel this way?
It was so much easier to make friends as a kid. And I feel like a lot of the moms in DD's class are just not...... my type? If that makes sense.
It would just be awesome to have one of those friends (besides the ones I've had since I was 6) that I know I can lean on whenever, call whenever, text whenever, that won't judge me, that always has my back, etc etc. And that seems insanely hard to do once you're all grown and stuff.
/pity party over.
Do you think women who work make friends easier than SAHM's, since you're surrounded by more people?
I suck at making friends in my 30's
99% of my friends are from my childhood. Which is awesome, we're super close. But they've all moved away from our hometown. And I was hoping once DD started school making friends would be easier. But I've really only made one. And she isn't someone that would ever be super close to me.. like.. "if you ever need me, you can call me at ANY time" type of friend. I haven't made one of those since I was a kid.
It bums me out, and I don't know why? Do any of you ever feel this way?
It was so much easier to make friends as a kid. And I feel like a lot of the moms in DD's class are just not...... my type? If that makes sense.
It would just be awesome to have one of those friends (besides the ones I've had since I was 6) that I know I can lean on whenever, call whenever, text whenever, that won't judge me, that always has my back, etc etc. And that seems insanely hard to do once you're all grown and stuff.
/pity party over.
E+C
(+ hers and his, ages 13 & 8)
TTC
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Friends
I understand how you feel, I so do. And I try to befriend H's work wives, too.. or his coworkers.. but that doesn't work, either. It doesn't help that I'm kinda painfully shy UNTIL I know someone well. But it's hard to get close to someone in the meantime and break past that.
@JackoftheBox- don't temp me
Again, once I'm close to someone I have ZERO issues with this. But I can't seem to get to that point with anyone "new" and make new friends.
Um, yes. Everything everyone already said.
I have good, close friends from HS and college. We moved from our college town about 5 years ago and I haven't really made any new, close friends. I like a lot of my coworkers, but I don't make an effort to see them outside of work most of the time. I've made some mom-friends since having DS by joining a moms group and going to LLL meetings, but we're not really close. There's one that I see every month or so for playdates, and I think we could be better friends, but I prioritize my time with DS and DH.
It feels so awkward to be like, "hey, I like you, let's go on a friend-date and see where this goes". I'd rather ask some random guy out than do that!
And there are plenty I dislike, because I think so many women judge so much. And that overwhelmes me, because I'm not that type of person?
But I think I just say it because no one will be friends with me, and I'm jealous of everyone who has a super close best friend to hang with and always call when in need. I go to my 7 year old when I'm in need, or my H. And I want that girlfriend to go to. So I think that's why I say what I do.
I am a huge introvert, which makes it hard to socialize with new people. And bar and parties, really anywhere loud, is just not my scene. I have been getting better about putting myself out there since I joined a mom's group in my area. I had to dare myself to go to an event the first time, and there are times when it feels forced and fake. But at least it's socialization for me and ds. Even so it took me two years of going to events and meeting people (and seeing the same people who I am really only surface friends with) before I managed to find a good friend. I never never thought I would find another friend who was actually nearby.
I have probably 4 close friends. One lives across the county. One lives a few hours away. One is the woman I recently met who is actually near me (but our kids are 2 years apart). And the other is a wife of dh's co-worker, but dh's company has jobs all over the country so we only see each other if our husbands end up on the same project and we are both out there with them.
Being a grown-up is hard
I forced myself to join a coed volunteer fraternity in college. I made several friends in that (one of which is my H!) and still keep in touch and even work with a few of them. Luckily I have a few friends who have accepted my quirks and know that I will have periods where I'm not sociable.
I moved here to Georgia(boo, hiss) about four years ago and lost touch with my only good girlfriend from highschool. I have only had jobs where I have only had about 5 co-workers and they're all always waaay older than me- like, their kids are older than I am. I have already been to college, in Florida, where I didn't meet any good friends because I went for Auto Body and the others were all obnoxious guys.
Uggghh I'm so insanely bored. And my daughter has never once met another baby anywhere close to her age, because I don't know any. She doesn't go to daycare and I have been desperately searching for a mommy & me group around here to no avail. The only people I ever socialize with are my husband's family.
I have pretty much given up on finding a friend for myself, and am currently searching for baby friends for Josie, which is turning out to be just as difficult. I am not religious so I have no interest in going to a church group. I can't turn to LLL because I am ashamed that I wasn't able to breastfeed, even though I tried desperately. The closest mommy groups I could find are 45 minute drives- I don't know how I could swing that with the baby's nap schedule....
Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm super boring or annoying or whatever.. I don't drink or smoke, I'll never understand why that puts-off people. I can't even be around smokers because I'm allergic. I think I'm just the perfect shitstorm of reasons why I can never have friends.
My only hope now is that I discovered my local library does a toddler playgroup thing on Wednesdays, but it is for 1-3 year olds. Josie isn't developmentally one year old, but her first birthday is in two weeks so I'll just pretend that counts. I just hope that I won't be the only person who shows up when I do get there...
This is me exactly minus the canceling. I'm super good at making acquaintances, have no problem with small talk and I can fill a silence like nobody's business but when it comes to the commitment of being friends with most people, it just doesn't happen often for me. I feel like as I get older, I have higher and higher expectations of people and I've gotten so sick of being disappointed that it's just no longer a priority. And I don't mean I have ridiculous standards but I just expect people to treat me at least the way I treat them, not to be insane destructive alcoholics and be generally considerate. Being sarcastic helps a lot, too. Maybe it's a tough combination.
I'm sorry that some of you feel lonely.. and I hope when you are, you get your butt on here and let us help you get UN-lonely! Not the same, I know. But it's something!
:x
Hope that didn't come out like a sermon/lesson. Just thought it might help from someone who is a mixed introvert/extrovert and has had luck making friends.