2nd Trimester

Baby Showers

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Re: Baby Showers

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  • When do you think the ideal time is to have a baby shower? I see women doing it as early as 4 months and as late as 9 months.

    I'm 3 months now, but I want to start planning my baby shower so I dont wait until last minute and all the halls are booked for the wedding season.

    When should I plan it? Suggestions.. ?

    Thanks!
    My mom and business partner are throwing my shower but since I'm an event planner (along with my business partner) I have a lot of say in what is going on. Kind of a control freak and need to know what is going on. So far so good on the planning front. I'll be 21 weeks at my shower. We are having it early b/c I went on bed rest with DS #1 at 24 weeks and DS#2 at 19 weeks so my mom wanted to have a shower that I can enjoy. My first shower I had to lay down the entire time and it was terrible. I cried the entire time b/c I was so miserable. You can have and throw the shower whenever you want. 
    IAmPregnant Ticker


  • Tweeks23 said:
    When do you think the ideal time is to have a baby shower? I see women doing it as early as 4 months and as late as 9 months.

    I'm 3 months now, but I want to start planning my baby shower so I dont wait until last minute and all the halls are booked for the wedding season.

    When should I plan it? Suggestions.. ?

    Thanks!
    My mom and business partner are throwing my shower but since I'm an event planner (along with my business partner) I have a lot of say in what is going on. Kind of a control freak and need to know what is going on. So far so good on the planning front. I'll be 21 weeks at my shower. We are having it early b/c I went on bed rest with DS #1 at 24 weeks and DS#2 at 19 weeks so my mom wanted to have a shower that I can enjoy. My first shower I had to lay down the entire time and it was terrible. I cried the entire time b/c I was so miserable. You can have and throw the shower whenever you want. 
    Also, since this is my 3rd boy, I don't really need anything as far as baby times b/c I have it all already. My mom bought all the nursery furniture for this baby and the bedding. This "shower: is more of a ladies brunch to hang out and catch up before I get put on bed rest. 
    IAmPregnant Ticker


  • Joy2611 said:
    Tweeks23 said:
    Tweeks23 said:
    When do you think the ideal time is to have a baby shower? I see women doing it as early as 4 months and as late as 9 months.

    I'm 3 months now, but I want to start planning my baby shower so I dont wait until last minute and all the halls are booked for the wedding season.

    When should I plan it? Suggestions.. ?

    Thanks!
    My mom and business partner are throwing my shower but since I'm an event planner (along with my business partner) I have a lot of say in what is going on. Kind of a control freak and need to know what is going on. So far so good on the planning front. I'll be 21 weeks at my shower. We are having it early b/c I went on bed rest with DS #1 at 24 weeks and DS#2 at 19 weeks so my mom wanted to have a shower that I can enjoy. My first shower I had to lay down the entire time and it was terrible. I cried the entire time b/c I was so miserable. You can have and throw the shower whenever you want. 
    Also, since this is my 3rd boy, I don't really need anything as far as baby times b/c I have it all already. My mom bought all the nursery furniture for this baby and the bedding. This "shower: is more of a ladies brunch to hang out and catch up before I get put on bed rest. 

    Oh my goodness.
     
    Throwing her own shower?  Check.
    Third child? Check
    Shower for first child ruined by health of the baby?  CHECK.
     
    WE HAVE A TRIFECTA OF TACKY HERE!  What do I win??
    I'm not throwing my own shower I'm helping plan it b/c my mom is not creative at all and I am. I don't think there is anything wrong with having a shower for a 2nd, 3rd, or 6th child if someone is throwing it for you. I was upset at my first shower b/c I had to lay down the entire time on my left side with a house full of people. It was not ruined by the health of my child I was extremely uncomfortable at it and although it was so sweet of my friend to throw it for me I was in pain and upset b/c I couldn't enjoy myself.  You all can have your own opinions b/c people are going to do what they want anyways. I think you all need to chill out a bit. 
    IAmPregnant Ticker


  • Joy2611 said:
    Tweeks23 said:
    Tweeks23 said:
    When do you think the ideal time is to have a baby shower? I see women doing it as early as 4 months and as late as 9 months.

    I'm 3 months now, but I want to start planning my baby shower so I dont wait until last minute and all the halls are booked for the wedding season.

    When should I plan it? Suggestions.. ?

    Thanks!
    My mom and business partner are throwing my shower but since I'm an event planner (along with my business partner) I have a lot of say in what is going on. Kind of a control freak and need to know what is going on. So far so good on the planning front. I'll be 21 weeks at my shower. We are having it early b/c I went on bed rest with DS #1 at 24 weeks and DS#2 at 19 weeks so my mom wanted to have a shower that I can enjoy. My first shower I had to lay down the entire time and it was terrible. I cried the entire time b/c I was so miserable. You can have and throw the shower whenever you want. 
    Also, since this is my 3rd boy, I don't really need anything as far as baby times b/c I have it all already. My mom bought all the nursery furniture for this baby and the bedding. This "shower: is more of a ladies brunch to hang out and catch up before I get put on bed rest. 

    Oh my goodness.
     
    Throwing her own shower?  Check.
    Third child? Check
    Shower for first child ruined by health of the baby?  CHECK.
     
    WE HAVE A TRIFECTA OF TACKY HERE!  What do I win??
    Ahem, @Joy2611, apparently you are unaware of @Tweeks23 Speshul Snowflake status here on TB.  There is no way she can't wait to find out the sex of her baby, her crib is far too fabulous to be made ugly by lack of bumper, risk of SIDS be damned, and of course she must throw a shower for her third boy because "celebrate all the babeeeez!!!!!111!!!!"  
    I already know the sex of my baby dipshit. I said my crib was beautiful, it had nothing to do with the bumper or lack thereof its a really beautiful crib. All my local friends who have had babies have had a shower for each one even if they are the same sex…get over yourself!
    IAmPregnant Ticker


  • I would also like to mention, that my invite says no gifts on it b/c I already have everything. It says join us for a ladies brunch….nothing "shower" related. 
    IAmPregnant Ticker


  • B/c it was on the "baby shower" board not the "ladies brunch" board.
    IAmPregnant Ticker


  • Also, YOU called it a shower. Do which is it?
    I replied to the OP on this thread. 
    IAmPregnant Ticker


  • Tweeks23 said:
    I would also like to mention, that my invite says no gifts on it b/c I already have everything. It says join us for a ladies brunch….nothing "shower" related. 
    You should never mention gifts on an invitation, even if it's to say "no gifts."  
    Agreed, but nobody comes to a party for someone empty handed and I don't want anyone bringing anything but themselves.
    IAmPregnant Ticker


  • This is why women are calld "caddy". You can disagree without calling names and being rude.

  • Someone please put up a gif of Happy Gilmore shaking his caddy.
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  • momthatliftsmomthatlifts member
    edited January 2014
    I haven't read any of this thread but I'm assuming you just don't know that it's not normal for you to plan your own shower. Someone should offer to plan it for you. I am, as of right now, probably not having a baby shower because no one offered to plan one for me. Even if it was ok to plan your own, I probably would never do it because I just don't have the patience for it and don't want it that bad. Maybe see if a family member would like to help. Your mom? And aunt? Even a friend?

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  • I actually was going to offer to pay for everything, just wanted to know if she would mind planning it and having it at her house. We have been best friends for about 18 years now, since 3rd grade, so there's really no limits between us and we don't get offended by each other. She couldn't exactly surprise me with one since she's 900 miles away from me. I'm not tacky at all, I'm actually known as being extremely open hearted and generous to everyone I can possibly help. You don't know me, you're making a character judgement based on a single aspect of my life that I have shared on a random forum, and that is why these threads get so ridiculous. I stopped even looking on here for a few months because people are so quick to jump on others. I really don't even know why I'm responding, I don't owe anyone an explanation. I was just trying to answer the OP's original question, if you don't agree with my answer that's fine.
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  • chevronsevenchevronseven member
    edited February 2014
    I'm actually discussing it with her now. I asked her if she thinks I crossed a line and should have let her throw it on her own. We're texting and she hasn't answered yet, but I told her if she does think that then I want to apologize. Because I will be honest, there is a good possibility you guys are right. It wouldn't be the first time I have been unintentionally tacky. I am very much the baby of my family, so I have zero experience with babies or showers for them. I don't know protocol. I was very surprised to even learn that showers for baby #2 and on are considered tacky. I had no reason to know that before. This is my first pregnancy and I'm learning.

    I would like to clarify that a pet peeve of mine is when someone is acting a certain way in a situation and someone else tells them that they are a bitch, they are selfish, they are whatever, when what they really mean is that the person is BEING a bitch, ACTING selfish, etc. If I am being tacky right now in this instance, it doesn't mean that I as a person am tacky in general.

    Edit: She responded and doesn't think there was anything wrong with me asking her. She said it didn't feel like I was demanding a shower out of her as much as making sure she would be the one to throw the one we both assumed I would have. And she said it made her feel special to know that I considered her "the important one" back home and would want her to throw it. She's very excited to do it. Maybe in general it is tacky to ask for one but I guess I lucked out with an awesome best friend who isn't bothered by tackiness.
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  • normandyn7normandyn7 member
    edited February 2014
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    Tweeks23 said:
    When do you think the ideal time is to have a baby shower? I see women doing it as early as 4 months and as late as 9 months.

    I'm 3 months now, but I want to start planning my baby shower so I dont wait until last minute and all the halls are booked for the wedding season.

    When should I plan it? Suggestions.. ?

    Thanks!
    My mom and business partner are throwing my shower but since I'm an event planner (along with my business partner) I have a lot of say in what is going on. Kind of a control freak and need to know what is going on. So far so good on the planning front. I'll be 21 weeks at my shower. We are having it early b/c I went on bed rest with DS #1 at 24 weeks and DS#2 at 19 weeks so my mom wanted to have a shower that I can enjoy. My first shower I had to lay down the entire time and it was terrible. I cried the entire time b/c I was so miserable. You can have and throw the shower whenever you want. 
    No. No. No. No.
  • I actually was going to offer to pay for everything, just wanted to know if she would mind planning it and having it at her house. We have been best friends for about 18 years now, since 3rd grade, so there's really no limits between us and we don't get offended by each other. She couldn't exactly surprise me with one since she's 900 miles away from me. I'm not tacky at all, I'm actually known as being extremely open hearted and generous to everyone I can possibly help. You don't know me, you're making a character judgement based on a single aspect of my life that I have shared on a random forum, and that is why these threads get so ridiculous. I stopped even looking on here for a few months because people are so quick to jump on others. I really don't even know why I'm responding, I don't owe anyone an explanation. I was just trying to answer the OP's original question, if you don't agree with my answer that's fine.

    Aye...

    • It doesn't matter if it offends the person you are asking or what the nature of your relationship with them is. The bottom line is that it's tacky to ask for anyone to throw you a shower. You could be thicker than thieves. It still should be an offer.

    • You should not be paying for people to give you items. That is what the host volunteers to do when they offer.

    • You can be a very nice person & still opt to do a tacky thing. Tacky is tacky. It doesn't make you a horrible person. It means you are advocating doing something outside the confines of traditional etiquette that is agreed upon by plenty of people. If you don't think your circle would mind then there is no reason to ask internet strangers. The fact that you have doubts is indicated by your presence here.

    Really, a lot of people disagree with your advice & think your advice is flawed. It's not a personal attack. It's disagreement by strangers. You are getting your panties twisted because we are not endorsing the ideas you are spouting. If you are confident in your choices then do your thing. It does not mean that posters cannot comment on your plans & disagree with you.


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  • It just depends. I've seen women have showers as early as 16-20 weeks and as late as 36-39 weeks. If someone is planning one for you then they should ask you for a few dates that is accomodating to your schedule like if you work or if you're in school. So basically you can have a shower whenever you want.
  • MMason12 said:
    Tweeks23 said:
    When do you think the ideal time is to have a baby shower? I see women doing it as early as 4 months and as late as 9 months.

    I'm 3 months now, but I want to start planning my baby shower so I dont wait until last minute and all the halls are booked for the wedding season.

    When should I plan it? Suggestions.. ?

    Thanks!
    My mom and business partner are throwing my shower but since I'm an event planner (along with my business partner) I have a lot of say in what is going on. Kind of a control freak and need to know what is going on. So far so good on the planning front. I'll be 21 weeks at my shower. We are having it early b/c I went on bed rest with DS #1 at 24 weeks and DS#2 at 19 weeks so my mom wanted to have a shower that I can enjoy. My first shower I had to lay down the entire time and it was terrible. I cried the entire time b/c I was so miserable. You can have and throw the shower whenever you want. 
    **GAG ME***

    Wow, the tackiness here is even worse than the OP's tackiness.  You have zero business having a shower for your 3rd baby let alone letting your mother purchase the crib for your 3rd child. I hope she doesn't have to hold your hand while you pee anymore either. 
    If her mother wanted to buy the crib then whats the problem? That's very much ok. And to tell someone they have zero business having a shower for their 3rd kid really isn't your place/business to say. I think you should back off a little with what she is doing in HER personal life.

    Before someone jumps the gun and thinks I'm saying throwing your own shower isn't tacky, I'm not. It is very tacky.. But how many showers someone chooses to have is no ones business.

    It's a BOY










  • Tee hee hee, they really believe what they're saying... they truly believe it's totally normal to throw yourself a shower and demand that other people pay for it.  So cute.

    image
    This.

    I actually told my mom today (because she said she wanted to throw me a shower suddenly) NOT to because she just lost her job. She insisted since she is starting her new job soon and I still told her NO. I would rather just have some family (6 people at the most) come over and celebrate with me. She is already doing a lot for me this pregnancy, including sewing all my burp cloths, a quilt, and belly rug for LO. Poor woman is going to die of a stress stroke!

    It's a BOY










  • That really didn't answer my question at all, but OK! I don't have any sisters or brothers or close friends that can plan my shower. My older cousin is helping me plan it, but I want things my way, not their way, so i'm involved in a lot of the decision making, which I like. The last thing I want is to walk into my own shower and be disappointed. So quite frankly, I don't care if you think its tacky or not, LOL.
    Who are you going to invite then???
    OP- you sound very entitled. Showers are a gift given to you by someone who offers it as a gift to you. It isn't a wedding.

    I have a friend who did what you are proposing and it came off as gift grabby and alienated many of her friends. Not a great plan.
  • JKBMA2014 said:
    MMason12 said:
    Tweeks23 said:
    When do you think the ideal time is to have a baby shower? I see women doing it as early as 4 months and as late as 9 months.

    I'm 3 months now, but I want to start planning my baby shower so I dont wait until last minute and all the halls are booked for the wedding season.

    When should I plan it? Suggestions.. ?

    Thanks!
    My mom and business partner are throwing my shower but since I'm an event planner (along with my business partner) I have a lot of say in what is going on. Kind of a control freak and need to know what is going on. So far so good on the planning front. I'll be 21 weeks at my shower. We are having it early b/c I went on bed rest with DS #1 at 24 weeks and DS#2 at 19 weeks so my mom wanted to have a shower that I can enjoy. My first shower I had to lay down the entire time and it was terrible. I cried the entire time b/c I was so miserable. You can have and throw the shower whenever you want. 
    **GAG ME***

    Wow, the tackiness here is even worse than the OP's tackiness.  You have zero business having a shower for your 3rd baby let alone letting your mother purchase the crib for your 3rd child. I hope she doesn't have to hold your hand while you pee anymore either. 
    If her mother wanted to buy the crib then whats the problem? That's very much ok. And to tell someone they have zero business having a shower for their 3rd kid really isn't your place/business to say. I think you should back off a little with what she is doing in HER personal life.

    Before someone jumps the gun and thinks I'm saying throwing your own shower isn't tacky, I'm not. It is very tacky.. But how many showers someone chooses to have is no ones business.
    You are all saying that throwing your own shower is tacky b/c its a gift given to you by someone. My mom and partner are giving me the shower, I'm helping assemble favors and get flowers etc. My mom bought the furniture for all three of my kids, its what she does. I'm sure there is not one person here who wouldn't mind if someone bought their nursery furniture. My grandmother bought mine and my brothers and my mom wanted to do the same. Hold your breath….I've never bought my kids a pair of shoes!! ::internet gasps::: My grandmother bought all our shoes (when we were little) and my mom does the same for my boys. No complaining here!
    IAmPregnant Ticker


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