Can't motivate the healthy...

pblge

Before IVF #1 I was soooooooooooooooo good about what I put in my body. Completely cut out alcohol and almost all caffeine. Ate all good foods, lots of proteins and healthy veggies, did the right exercise, etc. This time I keep trying to have those good intentions, but by the end of the night I'm sitting on the couch with wine and junk food, instead of working out. I also just can't seem to pass up the coffee, although I'm doing half-decaf.

Does. It. Even. Matter?!?!?!?!?!? Is anyone else in the same boat? Anyone want to buddy up on this? Or should I just keep tossing back the wine and ice cream? I need either a pep talk or reassurances that I can stop feeling guilty about this!

Margritli

I am not sure if it helps or not, but my RE said that such "lifestyle changes" make so little difference (aside from quitting smoking if you are a smoker) that it is not worth driving yourself crazy about.

kz's_girlygirl

Ditto what PP said- if making changes right now is going to cause you more stress, don't beat yourself up!

That being said, if you do truly want to make some changes, just start small!  Do a yoga DVD at home, or a youtube workout (I love the Tone It Up workouts!) before your glass of wine

I have been making a real effort to be more mindful and healthy so I've been going to the gym faithfully and tracking in My Fitness Pal.  It helps that DH loves to work out and we go to the gym together after work, otherwise, there are definitely times when I would opt out. 

GL and I hope your cycle is successful!

absolutelymaybe

I believe in (most) things in moderation. Unless we're talking about serious issues (i.e. being extremely overweight and needing to lose weight or smoking), I haven't seen evidence to suggest it makes that big of a difference. When I was preparing for my IVF, my mind was more set on getting in shape and preparing for a healthy pregnancy. Even though my transfer didn't happen, I'm feeling much better that I made those changes.

Carol77B

@Margritli, you made me so happy with your post! @pblgeI seemed to have lost all control in the few months leading up to my first IVF and put on a ton of weight. I know it is dysfunctional but I think I kept alternating between "I won't be able to eat/drink this when I'm pregnant so I'll get it out of my system now," and eating and drinking what I wanted to because it was something *I* could control. I'm really paying for my indulgences, now, because my clothes don't fit (and it was even worse when the meds made me bloat). I gave up all that stuff right before ER and have been really good (and have even dropped some weight) but if I get a negative beta on Monday, as I expect to after my HPT, I'm really going to try and get back on track. I don't think you should feel guilty about it, because that will likely just back-fire, but you may end up regretting it like I do if it goes on for several weeks/months.

beachy6

Funny you posted this! I was just talking to DH about this tonight. Because of my endo pain, I'm usually gluten free and dairy free all the time. However, during our IVF #1 and our FET, I was so stressed out I ate everything. So, for IVF #2, I'm staying GF and dairy free, but not really because of the IVF. It's truly because I just feel better when I don't eat things that upset my insides, naturally! If I didn't have endo, I certainly wouldn't be changing my diet as studies aren't really clear what to add/give up. The only thing our RE says is no alcohol or caffeine after starting stims. Other than that, eat away, in moderation.

As far as exercise, uh. Yeah. Haven't done that since the Fall. I used to play college sports and I love working out, but right now, I just don't feel like it. So I'm not. Basically the motto of IVF #2 is to do whatever makes me happy. I think if there was a certain diet or exercise that would definitely make IVF work, all of our RE's would already have us on it! Clearly, one doesn't exist!!

PrivateOne

pblge said:

Before IVF #1 I was soooooooooooooooo good about what I put in my body. Completely cut out alcohol and almost all caffeine. Ate all good foods, lots of proteins and healthy veggies, did the right exercise, etc. This time I keep trying to have those good intentions, but by the end of the night I'm sitting on the couch with wine and junk food, instead of working out. I also just can't seem to pass up the coffee, although I'm doing half-decaf.

Does. It. Even. Matter?!?!?!?!?!? Is anyone else in the same boat? Anyone want to buddy up on this? Or should I just keep tossing back the wine and ice cream? I need either a pep talk or reassurances that I can stop feeling guilty about this!

OMG, I am totally the same. We even cycled close to each other with same result last fall.  I did everything right in prep for that. However, after the loss and through the holidays I've let it all go to hell. My body feels awful for it too.  Now I'm working IVF #2 and wishing I had kept on track. Hopefully I haven't ruined things for myself.  Ah the guilt.  However, I do have to say I've turned the tide in the past few weeks.  Back to better eating, exercise and general wellness.  You can do it too!!!  I feel it's the only way out of feeling guilty is to turn it all around.  Hopefully my eggos weren't affected by my debauchery.    Good luck to you!!

overwhelmed29

I do have a question for all of you ladies, my RE told me not to exercise during the wait after ET. Which for me was okay because who likes to exercise but i felt like i didn't have control over anything.. whether i got pregnant, my weight...ect. I was also told to eat whatever I want, just limit alcohol and no smoking. I usually lift weights with my husband but I didn't all I got was a BFN. We're doing a FET 2/19 and I just was wondering if I can workout or even do yoga?

penad5

i'm was having the same problem - i couldn't stay motivated to eat right or exercise.  I have a trainer and i was feeling sooo guilty every time i missed workout or ate cake for dinner (I only did that once)... so my trainer asked me bluntly "why am I losing motivation" and if you are really truly honest with yourself you might be surprised how it helps.

I was training for a 30k race at the end of March - my plan even included slowing down in Feb as we go for IVF #1 - so for me when i was Honest with myself had a bit of a cry and I told her that this race went hand in hand with IVF not working since i won't be running if i get a BFP... so training for it just made me think of how sad i'll be if i get a BFN.  

So we changed my sched and now Im just focused on trying to be as healthy as i can be weather i race or not and i'm sooo less stressed - if i miss a workout, so what i'll do it another day... and since i'm not stressed I don't find i'm turning to the "bad" food choices as often either... and when i do... so what next time i'll choose better.

I'm not saying being honest with yourself will suddenly make you only want to eat salad and lean meat - but when you take the stress of it away it could help keep it in moderation - or at least it did for me.

Good Luck

kz's_girlygirl

***BFP Mentioned***

overwhelmed29 said:

I do have a question for all of you ladies, my RE told me not to exercise during the wait after ET. Which for me was okay because who likes to exercise but i felt like i didn't have control over anything.. whether i got pregnant, my weight...ect. I was also told to eat whatever I want, just limit alcohol and no smoking. I usually lift weights with my husband but I didn't all I got was a BFN. We're doing a FET 2/19 and I just was wondering if I can workout or even do yoga?

My RE absolutely recommends yoga and light exercise like walking starting a few days after transfer.   There are lots of pre-natal yoga or yoga for fertility DVD's if you do a search. 

After our last transfer, I still went to the gym and just did lighter cardio (elliptical or walking).  I tried to keep my heart rate on the low end and didn't work up a major sweat.  I got a BFP that cycle, so I am not in the camp of just stopping activity especailly if you are exercise regularly now. 

STBMrsMiller

I think I'm in the minority, but this is the best motivation I've ever had. I've stuck to my protein/carb/fiber targets in preparation for our ER this month because every time I think about "cheating" I am reminded that this is my last chance (and insanely expensive investment) to produce healthy eggs to have my biological child. I refuse to give any effort less than 100% so I never regret and think back about what if I'd just eaten better.

overwhelmed29

@kz's_girlygirl, thank you so much for all of your help.

CameraBug131

overwhelmed29 said:

I do have a question for all of you ladies, my RE told me not to exercise during the wait after ET. Which for me was okay because who likes to exercise but i felt like i didn't have control over anything.. whether i got pregnant, my weight...ect. I was also told to eat whatever I want, just limit alcohol and no smoking. I usually lift weights with my husband but I didn't all I got was a BFN. We're doing a FET 2/19 and I just was wondering if I can workout or even do yoga?

I was told no yoga. 

pblge

I love all these responses! Definitely helps to hear from others who are struggling with the same thing.

Margritli - I think that's what we all want to hear! I mean, I guess it's a little depressing that we have so little control over this, but it also helps to reduce the crazy.

Carol77B - Hope you get a surprise beta!

overwhelmed29 - I was told that a little bit of walking was okay, but only very light exercise. No lifting, nothing high or even moderate impact, and stay away from yoga. I even replaced my work bag with a roller back for the weight.

penad5 - Sounds like you have a great trainer, and wow on 30k! I think you make a good point. I know why I'm not really motivated, and it's because I don't think this is ever going to work for us. So why should I deprive myself of the things that I enjoy if it's just going to be a bfn or another m/c?! Not sure what I do with that, but it so far hasn't yielded the breakthrough you had.

And kudos to all of you who have kept on track! Huzzah and keep it up!

I tried to get on the treadmill Thursday night, but the internet wasn't working (?!) and I need entertainment to run. So I had a glass of wine and made cookies. I mean, what else was I supposed to do?!!? But I'm going for a snowshoe hike today, and that counts as exercise!

overwhelmed29

@pblge, have you tried wine and birthday cake Oreos?! I find it to be the perfect combination!

pblge

@overwhelmed29 said:

@pblge, have you tried wine and birthday cake Oreos?! I find it to be the perfect combination!

Sounds great! What do you recommend--red or white?

kz's_girlygirl

CameraBug131 said:

overwhelmed29 said:

I do have a question for all of you ladies, my RE told me not to exercise during the wait after ET. Which for me was okay because who likes to exercise but i felt like i didn't have control over anything.. whether i got pregnant, my weight...ect. I was also told to eat whatever I want, just limit alcohol and no smoking. I usually lift weights with my husband but I didn't all I got was a BFN. We're doing a FET 2/19 and I just was wondering if I can workout or even do yoga?

I was told no yoga. 

Any yoga that is strenuous or a hot yoga class I would stay away from, but restorative yoga for deep breathing and stress relief can be really beneficial if only to help you relax!

Listen to your RE though- if they say no, follow their advice. My RE offers restorative yoga classes specifically for after transfer (48+hrs after transfer) patients and I really found them relaxing.

overwhelmed29

@pblge, I like Riesling, pino noir or the cupcake brand moscato with them!

RunCC37

Ugh, I am constantly having the same battle in my head. It sucks!! I gave up all alcohol and caffeine (minus the caffeine in chocolate... can't go that far!!) in September when I started IVF #1. When we found out that our embryo quality was poor, I decided that I would give alcohol and caffeine up indefinitely until either a) we finish building our family or b) my eggs are determined to be out of the question, and we move onto other means. 

O2girl

My 2 cents... With natural conceptions happening all around us.. With the occasional "oops" story.... My thoughts are that in the time prior to getting prego people don't change a thing. Most in fact go through life doing their normal day to day.

I personally, don't think (after giving up my wine or booze in general; I don't indulge much in caffeine) made a difference. I am a vegetarian so I do think my diet that includes soy might have played a part in my failed FET; so I have given up soy for my next FET (simply because it raises estrodial).....

That being said... Booze and eat on my friend.