Moms who didn't change their last names

spinsemeyer

When my husband and I got married, neither of us changed our last names. But now I'm not sure what to do for our child's name - my last name is 4 syllables/10 letters and too long to hyphenate with his. I was thinking using mine as a middle, his as a last? 

NerdyLucy

I'll be in the same board should I ever get pregnant.

We've considered using my last name as a second middle name, or simply just using his last as a last and that's it.  I know I could use my last name as the [only] middle, but I have no many other names I'd want to use as a middle instead.

We're not really considering hyphening the names, though that may change if I get pregnant.

Pearls+Oysters

Stick to one last name. 

binosmith

My daughter has only Hs lastname.  my ln is 4 syllables and we didnt consider it for mn or ln or hyphenation.

spinsoffresonance

DD has DH's last name. I do intend to change mine too to take his name, but I haven't managed to get to court yet to file the paperwork.

noryang

There is a long standing Scandinavian tradition is that girl's take a mom's last name and boy's their father's. I LOVE IT. It's worked for a long time in my family and there is (in my opinion) a lot more awareness of family history and tradition of BOTH sides rather than just dad's. 

It was easy for us because my husband had a daughter from his first marriage with his last name and so our daughter got MY last name. This second baby is a boy and will have dad's last name again. However, if we were to have a third girl -  I woudl have been fine giving her dad's last name. I just like the awareness that the shared name brings to a family. I also truly dislike hyphenated names so I never would have gone that way. 

bcnoelle

I didn't change my last name for professional reasons and I don't have a true sentimental or profound reason to keep it in the future generation.  For me, it was simple to give my children my husband's last name.  That being said, I've pulled for more weight on the first name choices.  Seems fair to me.  I think giving your last name as a middle name option is a good choice as well.

BulgariHeart

Oh I'm so not looking forward to being faced with this dilemma... A hypothetical child would have H's looong, three-word last name, while I'd like to give him/her my LN as a middle name and on top of it all a double, hyphenated FN. It's going to be a hot mess

I guess I will have to rethink the MN thing in the end, drop the hyphen and place the second part of the FN in the MN spot. That would spare the poor kid a bunch of headaches in one shot.

carryon23

Both of my kids (as well as #3 come September) are hyphenated. I kept my last name because there are no boys in my family to carry it on.  It was very important to me to keep it going.  The only bad thing is that my kids have a very long last name.

barely

I never changed mine, but baby will have DH's last name, and since I want to have the same last name as my child, I will probably start working on changing mine soon here.

dashe79

I also didn't change my LN, and we'll be using my LN as the MN and his as the LN for all kids we have.

Sam Buttons

I didn't change my name for professional reasons - plus I like it. I momentarily thought about using it as a MN for my girls, but decided to instead give them MNs after strong, amazing women on my side.

abbyful

I hyphenated. So husband is "Husband A" and I am "Wife J-A". DS got and all future kids will get my husband's last name, "Kiddo A". (DH has an extremely common last name. I have a slavic last name that only about a dozen people in the entire USA have.) 

noryang

NO ONE passed just their name on to their child - without the hyphenation?! Seems like it never even occurred to anyone. 

That makes me a little sad.  

aldarr

Both our girls have DH last name.

ArgyleBride

Hyphenation is not that scary guys, I promise.  Mine's been hyphenated since I was a kid (my choice) to honor my mother's side.  So I was born A, chose to become B-A, and when I married Husband C we became Mr&Ms B-C.  Kids will also be B-C.

I also had two middle names, and believe it or not, that was a much bigger PITA.  It does seem odd to me that so many default to using husband's name instead of wife's. 

Excitedmum35

DS has dh's last name just cos that makes sense to me.
My sister did exactly the same thing. I guess it's just the "normal" thing to do here!
Having said that I had many reasons for not changing my name when I got married but now I'm thinking that maybe I will change my name after this baby is born.

noryang

It does seem odd to me that so many default to using husband's name instead of wife's. 

I support women and men doing whatever they want with their last name. It's the default setting that we seem to be on in our culture that bothers me.  Women changing their name has a nasty history related to becoming the philospohical and actual property of their husband. Obviously we have moved far beyond that (in our country at least) but I still think how we move forward with names is a decision that needs to be made with awareness and thought - not "just because" that's what we do.  Most of the people I know changed names "just because" or named their children after dad "just because". Look at this baby name board. It is clear that we are putting 1000x more thought into first and middle names than last names in our culture. And yet the last name is what endures generation after generation and is what truly carries our family history. 

notreal2

I'm just surprised no one has come into this post and said anyone who didn't change their last name didn't love their husbands.

 

FTR, I didn't change my name and went with my last name as a middle name for the children.  As it was, the state didn't want to certify their births until I could prove we were married, because we had two different last names, so anything more revolutionary than that would have probably caused the state capitol to explode.

NerdyLucy

notreal2 said:

I'm just surprised no one has come into this post and said anyone who didn't change their last name didn't love their husbands.

Me too. I guess they save it for The Knot.