Dumb things my DH says...

imrachellea

I'll share mine if you'll share yours!!!

...so DH was sitting in the glider with Ari watching basketball and decided he was going to go lay down in bed. He tried to pass her off to me, but I was straightening the house up and told him to take her with him to cuddle, so he does. Then I'm across the house, in her nursery, putting laundry away. This is what I hear:

DH: Hey where's her paci?
Me: In her PnP (which is directly next to our bed)
DH: Can you get it for her?
Me: ............

clhathaway

Another sleep one. LO usually sleeps a 6 hour stretch but last night she decided to be awake those 6 hours. DF called me while he was at work to complain about how he barely slept last night(he sleeps on the couch) and he's just so tired. FUNNY! Because when I went down there at 2am to get a drink he was sawing logs. The same thing at 5. Andplusalso I listened to his alarm go off for 15 minutes. I wish that was my "I didn't sleep"

clhathaway

AlexJohnson840 said:

Anytime my DH complains about being tired! Yesterday he mentioned not sleeping very well because he wakes up for a second when I get up (and leave the room!). I responded with "I don't think you wake up every time" to which he said "you'd be surprised." Actually no, even if you so it's not like I'll fully wake up and it's for 30 seconds, I have no sympathy dumb ass

DF did this one night, so the next night I made sure to wake him up everytime. I made him get me diapers, wipes, water, I even made him turn the tv on and get a different DVD. He's decided he prefers the couch much more these days.

stacers33

When DH, who is a ridiculously deep sleeper, falls asleep with DS (4yo) getting him down for the night at 7:30-8pm, then moves to our bed when he wakes back up, says he is tired and slept bad when he gets up for work at 5:15am... What he missed was me staying up to get the house put back together, feeding DD and getting her down, waking up in the middle of the night when DS has night terrors (wouldn't wish them on an enemy!!), then waking back up to feed DD, and then getting up at 5:45am myself to get ready for the day and to get DS to daycare/preschool, etc. Who slept badly??? Give me a break! He doesn't even realize that either kid woke up...

thebobloblaw

Mine asked me if I wanted to go take a nap with him last night. While I was in the middle of feeding a very cranky baby. After he slept in 3 hours longer than me. And didn't get up 3 times in the middle of the night.

If my eyes had laser beams...

Krilolo

My H came home late from work yesterday and once he was settled in I told him that I wanted to take a shower. His response was "make it a quick one". Ohh helllllllll no!

shelbygirrrrl

When he says I have it easier than he does, because I stay home all day and can do whatever I want. Really? [-X

ReggieLou13

Krilolo said:

My H came home late from work yesterday and once he was settled in I told him that I wanted to take a shower. His response was "make it a quick one". Ohh helllllllll no!

Holy hell!! LOL!

mightymousy

I'm so tired of listening to my SO whine about how tired he is, or work, or how he'd rather be at home like me. He gets to sleep from 12-7 every night, comes home telling me about the easy day he's had, and every time he agrees to take the baby he puts him down and let's him wake up. Mean while I get to watch him go to bed at 12 but stay up with a fussy infant, be up every 1-2 hours all night, and I have to work all day too taking care of our son, a job I don't get to walk away from at 4pm every day.

FutureMrsCaesar

My dh has to travel the same week every month for his company's monthly executive meeting which is on a Wednesday. The past two months since Ben has been born he's taken an early flight out on Tuesday morning. He informs me the other day (before leaving for this week's work trip in sunny Florida) that he needs to go back to leaving on Monday evening because getting up early to travel on Tuesday is 'just too exhausting.'. Really dh? Because taking care of our 3 kids at night by myself is just so restful. Also douche, your meeting is Wednesday, not Tuesday!

Ohandplusalso, we're talking a 45 minute flight here....not traveling across the country!

BoothBaby

M&H2011 said:

When he refers to all of things I do for baby as "my job" because I'm a SAHM and have no intention to return to the workforce. I do stuff for my child because I'm her mom...not because I see it as a job duty. That phrase irritates the shit out of me. I went off on him tonight over it. I hope to never hear that phrase from his mouth again.

That's ok, next time he does that, hand the baby over to him at 5pm when he gets home from work and tell him that you've put in your 8 hours and are clocking out for the day.

FutureMrsCaesar

Risalyn222 said:

This thread is Proof that men are idiots. I love my dh very much but he's an idiot and about to get kicked in the nuts. He works 630a to 230p. Will come home and fall asleep on the couch every day, wake up play with ds a bit, have dinner, and clean up dinner ( his one chore I hold him too) while I bathe if it's bath night and get all 3 kids ready for bed. Then he will fall asleep in the couch again until I scream at him to let the dogs out and go to bed. Then like everyone else's idiotic husband as the audacity to say he's tired. Dude you napped and fell asleep at like 730 on the couch!

Ugggh! That's so annoying and my dh does something very similar. When he's home he does put the older 2 boys to bed @ 7 then comes down and if I don't force the baby on him he falls right asleep on the couch. Helloooo! I might want to do something other than hold a baby all evening or at least have an adult to talk to while Ben is cluster feeding for the next 3 hrs. And of course follows it up with telling me how tired he is all the time.

fauxvegan

Every evening when I get home DH asks like 10 times what we are having for dinner. He's been staying home with LO while I go to work all day. He hands her over to me as soon as I walk in the door (I don't mind that but I would like to pee first). And I have to clean up after him (dirty diapers on the floor, blankets and clothes and toys all over our room and I have to wash the day's bottles). Today I cried telling him how stressful this is and he apologized, then immediately got started on dinner. I just want to come home and snuggle with my baby!!!

lp0

I went to use the bathroom and handed DD to DH. I'm in the bathroom and he yells to me to hurry up because DS is climbing over the baby gate and to get him. I yell back that he needs to get him because I'm in the bathroom and he yells back "I can't I'm holding the baby". Really?! What the hell do I do all day while he's at work, let DS run amuck through the house?

Mac2588

My DH rearranged the living room last night asnd left the cable box with the DVR not hooked up. I said nope that's not going to work. He said why thought you stayed upstairs In bed all day.

KFiori1

LP0198 said:

I went to use the bathroom and handed DD to DH. I'm in the bathroom and he yells to me to hurry up because DS is climbing over the baby gate and to get him. I yell back that he needs to get him because I'm in the bathroom and he yells back "I can't I'm holding the baby". Really?! What the hell do I do all day while he's at work, let DS run amuck through the house?

Yes!!! DH tries that excuse all the time. Or I'll be busy cooking dinner or something and he says he needs to pee and asks "well what should I do with the baby?" ummm does he think I hold my pee all day while he's at work? Put her down for a minute, she'll be alright

PamMcManus

I told my H that I was tired and wanted a shower and he replied, "it's not like being home all day is hard, try working in negative temps all day." REALLY? So as I'm in the shower, I hear the door open and the baby crying and he says I need to hurry. Welcome to my easy day DH, you can't handle it for 5 minutes!

2010weddinggal

Last saturday in the afternoon we were going to my dads, DH was sleeping it became 8am and ok I was tired needed a shower and wanted him to get up to hold baby. I walked in the room told him nicely to wake up, walked away 15 mins later he was still sleeping I walked in there and screamed there is no sleeping in when you have a baby! He was so mad but he got up. I told him I wish I could sleep in just one morning but can not so therefore neither can you. ( Totaly selfish sorry not sorry)

Ltpugs

So my husband has stuck his foot in his mouth way too many time over the last few days. I'm amazed he's still in one piece.

We had a huge blow out a few days ago in which he admitted that he comes home and wonders wtf I do all day because nothing seems to get done around the house! Seriously!
Needless to say that didn't go over well.

Then last night DS was fussy and couldn't get comfy. DH said to the baby.. "Ok little man... I'm DONE because you can't get comfy. I don't know what to do for you and I need a drink." Ummmm... Done with what?! I think DH could sense the death rays I was emitting and decided to continue caring for the baby. He struggled to pour himself a scotch while holding the baby... I ignored his hints to help!

Then this morning DS was still a little fussy. DH was taking care of him so I could sleep a little. They were up around 5... I got up a couple hours later. My DH is stressing because the babies been fussy and he hasn't been able to do anything. He hadn't even had a chance to use the bathroom! Poor baby! Welcome to my life you Asshat!!!

notkateanymore

FutureMrsCaesar said:

My dh has to travel the same week every month for his company's monthly executive meeting which is on a Wednesday. The past two months since Ben has been born he's taken an early flight out on Tuesday morning. He informs me the other day (before leaving for this week's work trip in sunny Florida) that he needs to go back to leaving on Monday evening because getting up early to travel on Tuesday is 'just too exhausting.'. Really dh? Because taking care of our 3 kids at night by myself is just so restful. Also douche, your meeting is Wednesday, not Tuesday! Ohandplusalso, we're talking a 45 minute flight here....not traveling across the country!

Oh hell no. He used to leave on Monday for a Wednesday mtg? Wtf?