3rd Trimester

The dumb things people say

Time for a fun one. What are the most offensive things you've heard lately? I was out eating lunch with my work crew, all guys, when one of our bosses and the new guy walked by. The new guy and I know who the other is and have talked briefly a few times. One of my guys mentioned that we were eating Chinese to fill my craving. Keeping it lighthearted jokes on me conversation I mentioned how I always eat a bowl of Rice Krispies before bed too. The new guy goes on to comment that everything that goes on must come off eventually. Though slightly taken aback I mentioned that I had no problem losing the weight the first time and I wasn't concerned with it. He followed up by stating that was no indication of this one. But what about the third or fourth baby?!?! I was too stunned to really come up with anything witty to say back so just kept with my I'm not overly concerned about it. FYI I'm a small person, and while I have gained 22 lbs in my 28 weeks, I still feel ok about my weight gain. Since when is it socially acceptable to openly discuss a pregnant woman's weight when you barely know her? Oh, it never was? Someone please deliver the memo to this man. A week before that I bursted out crying (during sex with my husband) after I took awhile rolling over (tmi I'm sure but wth right) and he said, well if you can manage that. So there I am naked and bawling and feeling fat and disgusting. Perfect opportunity for husband brownie points right? His words of comfort? Well, you aren't as fat as you were the first time......epic FAIL. My sister in law told me I'm not as fat this time......I wasn't aware I was all that huge the first time.(FYI she never lost ANY of her baby weight)...the mirrors in my house must be magical. Please share your stories about idiots.....or don't, it may make me lose all faith in humanity.

Re: The dumb things people say

  • Everyone is stupid when it comes to pregnant women. I get comments on my weight allllllll the time but funny part is it's by people still much much larger then me. I was asked yesterday If I was due tomorrow? Yes you got me..im working and taking a break to get a snack and I want to discuss when my next is going to pop out which isn't for a while. It's almost easier these days to just nod my head and keep moving. Hate rude ignorant people

    Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born. 

    6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived

    10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP 

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  • What is this, Mad Men? The guy you work with sounds like an ass! My mom will say something every now and then and mostly everyone will comment on how big my boobs and butt have gotten but not a single man has had the nerve to say anything. He'd be dead now. I don't know what people are thinking, honestly. You wouldn't make comments about a woman's weight if she WERENT pregnant so all same rules apply!!!
     






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  • ktpaladinoktpaladino member
    edited January 2014
    I love the people that ask if you're having twins and then give the surprised look when you say no.



    Oh, and a month ago at a wedding, the mother of the groom yelled "You're as big as a house!" the minute she saw me. Ummm, thanks? People are seriously morons.

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  • I had a coworker come up to me and tell me how big my belly was and say that it wasn't going to go away after the baby is born. What am I supposed to even say back to that? It's my first pregnancy and obviously I know it'll take work to get back in shape.
  • People are jerks! I'm tired of people telling me I "look tired", "look like I might explode", "could go anytime" (I'm 36 weeks), trying to touch my stomach, etc!!! I'm measuring small and I've gained a healthy amount of pregnancy weight as directed by my Dr. so I don't get the fascination with these people being a** holes!
  • I've had a few comments too, none really bad but everyone feels it's ok to comment on what you weigh and what you eat. I always reply with the same thing, "when you're pregnant, you call the shots. I'm growing this new person!"
  • An overweight parent at my school asked if we were having a boy or a girl. As I started to say that we weren't finding out she added, "or is it twins?" What the hell? I had gained 10 lbs at that point. So rude.
    DH & I: 29
    TTC #1 4/2009 -  DD 2/5/10
    TTC #2 since October 2011
    2IF issues
    7/2013 - IUI #1: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFN
    8/2013 - IUI #2: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFP! Beta #1 (12 dpiui) 8/21: 45  Beta #2 (16 dpiui) 8/26: 301 Beta #3 (21 dpiui) 8/30: 1,929. 1st Ultrasound 9/4 - One perfect sac. 2nd Ultrasound 9/13 - Heartbeat at 124 bpm! Anniversary  

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  • oh people never cease to amaze me ....This is my first pregnancy & I work with the general public so not only do I get it from family, friends, coworkers but also strangers daily ..... I've had people say "you don't look pregnant just fat, you shouldn't be eating that or you shouldn't be drinking that, you look really tired, you can tell you are having a girl because they take the beauty out of your face, you look like you are having a tough time on your feet....oh I could go on for days listing the insults people have thrown at me since I have been pregnant....of course I am gaining weight I am Pregnant & of course I am tired I am working 45 hours a week & wait oh I am PREGNANT ..luckily I have thick skin and haven't had any emotional breakdowns due to other people's ignorance & my husband is super supportive haha best advice simply IGNORE and carry on!
  • I haven't gotten any comments on my weight, but have had a lot of comments about how I plan to go back to work after the baby is born.   A) I actually love my job, B) I'm the sole breadwinner in our family right now, and C) I'm lucky enough to have a husband who doesn't mind being a SAHD for the first few months (and he has LOTS more experience with children then I do)....so why on earth would I quit my job?????
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  • From when I announced my pregnancy, I've gotten "Are you fat or pregnant?" from one lady who I work with - like she just keeps on saying it.  The other day it was, "Wow, you won't be able to zip up that coat much longer."  I'm pretty tall and I was average size to begin with and luckily I haven't put on that much weight, just my belly is huge.  Now that the end is near, I've become very swollen and it has been the talk of my work for weeks - go see her feet!  Oh, you got to see her hands.  Then they come see them and laugh and they are like OMG!  REALLY people?!?!  I didn't act like this to you when you were pregnant.  I don't understand the lack of tact that people have. 

    The other thing I don't understand is all of a sudden people I know have to tell me every inch or pound they lose.  I'm totally happy for them, but I don't know why it's their focus to tell me every day about how hard they are working out or losing weight.  Are you telling your non pregnant friends all this info or do you just tell the pregnant ones who are gaining weight because you are insecure?! Their new weight loss goals seem to have started right when I told them I'm pregnant.

    Thanks girls for letting me vent. 
  • I'm starting take offense with how often everyone asks me if I have GD and if I had it with the last one - but the tone is that they're not really asking. They're just confirming their suspicions. Since overweight people tend to be at a higher risk, I'm starting to wish I carried a shotgun.

    Oh, and btw, I've cried the last 3 or 4 times my DH and I have had sex. I'm a giant whale and sex is horribly awkward. Two 7th graders would be more suave about it than I am right now and my DH makes it worse when he complains that I'm crushing him. I guess I thought the grimace was a guttural lovemaking expression of pleasure. Nope.
  • Ok I'm so glad I have somewhere to turn when it seems like I'm alone in this.  The older ladies in my office have been especially...weird when it comes to the comments.  Most recently, one asked if I'd been sending my husband pics while he's away for 6 weeks for training.  I told her no but we talk and facetime everyday.  Well, she decided to follow up with "When he comes back, he's gonna walk in the door, look at you, and say OH MY GOD!"  Nice, right? Well it gets WAAAY worse.  When telling my mom the story (which, by the way, I find pretty funny because of it's pure ridiculousness), she tells me (in a nutshell) that basically, it's okay for people to say that kind of stuff because I'm pregnant.

    Wait, what now?!

    So I asked her specifically...you're saying it's okay for people to make these weird and inappropriate comments about my weight purely because I'm pregnant?  Her answer - Yes.  According to her, I'm taking it personal.  Even after me explaining how I wasn't offended by it, because I really don't think those ladies are being malicious, they're just a slightly ignorant and it's amusing to me.  But I am most definitely now offended and taking it personal that my own mother is telling me that as a pregnant woman, people are allowed to make whatever comment they want.  Then she got mad at me, of course, and won't talk to me.  People, including my own mom, are just weird.

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  • "How are you going to feed that baby with those small boobs?"   
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  • I HATE it when people refer to me as being fat. I haven't gained a ridiculous amount of weight and honestly it's mostly in my midsection. It's a baby, people... I didn't just gain a whole bunch of fat. People should keep their opinions and rude comments to themselves!
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  • Kriztyn said:
    "How are you going to feed that baby with those small boobs?"   
    HA!  My jaw would have been on the floor - I'm impressed you didn't punch the person!
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  • I hear "Oh my god you're huge!" on a daily basis by at least one or more of my students.  It didn't bother me at first, but now that I genuinely am getting huge it's starting to get to me.  

    Other comments are random coworkers wanting to know if I'm getting an epi or not, if I"m going to nurse or not, and if my cervix is dilated.  "I'm not sure" is my typical response on all of them because seriously - who asks questions like that? 
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  • Kriztyn said:
    "How are you going to feed that baby with those small boobs?"   
    HA!  My jaw would have been on the floor - I'm impressed you didn't punch the person!


    Yeah... I had to take the high road here... I'd like to think she is secretly jealous since she's carrying HUGE boobs.... she's probably miserable.
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  • Every time someone asks if it's a boy or girl and I say we aren't finding out they say "so it could be twins!"

    Like how does that even make any sense? We aren't finding out the gender but that doesn't mean we are just sitting in a mud hut not going to the doctor. Seriously. I know the joke is because I'm so huge at this point but what are the chances that everyone is coming up with this lame joke?

  • With my first I had gone to an Easter party my mom was having and I was only 6 months preg. My moms friend who has never had kids had turned to me and was asking me about the pregnancy and then said are you having twins? Also looked very surprised when I told her I wasn't.
  • I'm a doc who sees 15-25 patients per day.  Some are wonderfully sweet, but some are super inappropriate.  I try to let it all go and remember that people are ignorant a lot of the time without meaning true harm.

    What is funny is that the MOST inappropriate people toward me have been other female doctors.  My fave comment was (at 20 wks--when I had gained 5# from constant puking) "I didn't know you were pregnant, I just thought you had gotten fat," and more recently, "you look so tired all the time...must be really hard to try to be a mom and a doctor."  Or, "why aren't you working part time after the baby?"  Eeek!!  (b/c I'm breadwinner and have an AMAZING SAHD who has the luxury of working from home 3 d/week!)

    I also REALLY enjoy all the horror stories people subject you to on a daily basis--from dead babies, to 4th degree tears, to constantly reminding me of infectious risks I take being around ill people all day.  Oh boy, it's been interesting.

    Stay strong, ladies.  It is a surreal experience.


  • My favorite is "How do you feel?"  No matter what you say, this is always followed up with by, "But really, how do you feel?"  And if I reply I'm fine, how are you, I get this crazy look from them along with "I'm not pregnant."  No kidding.  Am I missing something here?
  • I wear a fleece vest for work, so it's not always completely apparent that I have a bump.  A couple weeks ago my boss told me I was just starting to look like I had a baby "in there".  I unzipped the vest to actually show my belly, and said something to the effect of "I'm passed just starting to look like I'm pregnant", and she repeated herself.  If I'm just starting to look pregnant to her now, what did she think I looked like before?!  

    Last week one of my coworkers told me I was starting to waddle, but she said it in the most excited, caring, positive way, that I was thrilled.  
  • I've just started saying "I feel pregnant" and then angrily walking away. Probably not very mature, but under the circumstances I feel like it's the best I can do, haha.
  • I am 39 weeks pregnant and about midway through pregnancy I got, "wow! I see you've been eating" and also " looks like you had a good thanksgiving!" If these comments were from regular idiotic people that would be ken thing.... It was doctors within my doctors office that said these things to me. Unfortunately the first comment hit me hard and I was in a downward spiral emotionally for a few days. There must be a different/professional way to express concern of weight gain
  • veetveet said:

    If people comment on my weight gain.... I comment on theirs- esp if they were overweight to begin with.

    You're my hero!
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  • Op here. Few days after I started the thread my mom came to visit. We are both very small framed women. She had four c sections and only gained 25 pounds with each and lost it all in six weeks or so with breast feeding. Good for her. However I gained about 50 lbs with the first. During her visit she said women should just not put on that kind of weight if they wanted to get rid of the baby weight. Like it is just that simple. Then continued to mention how big I got last time and full and pudgy in my upper body...gee. Thanks mom for fat shaming me. She was out doing physical farm labor every day of each of her pregnancies. I have sat behind a desk for most of mine. I would have to starve myself to only gain 25 pounds! I've already gained 30 (29w3days).
  • CKayhart said:
    I am 39 weeks pregnant and about midway through pregnancy I got, "wow! I see you've been eating" and also " looks like you had a good thanksgiving!" If these comments were from regular idiotic people that would be ken thing.... It was doctors within my doctors office that said these things to me. Unfortunately the first comment hit me hard and I was in a downward spiral emotionally for a few days. There must be a different/professional way to express concern of weight gain

    My dr said the exact same things!! OP, I'm 29 weeks and I've gained the same. I swear smaller women actually gain more. I gained 60 with my first so I try to give myself a break, there's no way I'll gain another 30. My mom has said even worse, I don't know why mothers feel like they need no filter? When they had kids they were told to gain no more than 10 or 15. I guess they don't realize how things are different 30 years later...
     






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  • I had a lady at work come up to me and ask "so how much have you gained now?" Ummm pretty sure it's none of her business. So rude!
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