So what are your thoughts on how to handle the drop off to daycare/church nursery etc for a newly placed kiddo in your home when you are trying so hard to work on attachment? We've had nursery workers tell us to just leave while the kids are crying and screaming, and others tell us to sneak off as soon as they get engaged in something. My gut tells me this is not the right thing to do for a kid who has been in foster care so much of their young life. But eventually they have to be able to handle this care right. So how do we do it? I'd rather just not make them go if they are struggling so much.
Our kids are required to do some kind of program through our adoption plan (foster to adopt) part-time so just started playschool twice a week. They are 2 and 4. The 4 year old is loving it. The 2 year old panics, screams, cries, grabs hold of me, screams I want mommy. But eventually is okay, so the teachers say.
They also do the church nursery once a week, sometimes twice since we are working on foster hours and our church has a program on Wednesday nights. She loves it. He does the I want mommy panic. A lot of kids do this I know, but should we treat this transition with adoptive kids a little different since if you look at their life, in the past new places and people have been dangerous -so the new daycare could be scary and they could fear this is a new caregiver right?
Maybe I just need to chill out and listen to the teachers? My gut tells me it is not right to just walk out though when they are not looking or if they are so upset. What do you think?
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