S/O Careers: Taking the next step? Help needed.

MomtobeNJ

This is going to get ranty, I can already feel it. But if anyone has recently gone through something similar I would really appreciate some input. 

I have a 2nd interview tomorrow for a job that is absolutely perfect for me. It's a logical "next step" in my career, and will probably be a decent (maybe significant) pay increase. I love my current job. Not only do I love the place and the work I do, but I have a TON of flexibility and autonomy. I do my own thing, and I run my program and my staff my way with minimal involvement from my supervisor, who is 2 towns over and I see maybe once a month. I've been here for almost 8 years. It's comfortable, safe, and convenient. This new job would be a huge commitment in terms of increased responsibilities, more time on the clock, some travel required. It is also an hour south of us, so it will impact where DH and I focus our house hunting this spring. 

The pros far outweigh the cons. But I am concerned about taking on such a challenge while DD is still so little. I don't know why, but I keep thinking this would be easier when she is a little older, in school full days, etc. Part of me thinks I should wait it out a few more years and something else will come along. But I'm in a pretty narrow, specialized field and good jobs like this are extremely rare. 

And maybe I am just scared and I want to remain comfortable and lazy. 

*sigh* 

MRoxy0628

MomtobeNJ said:

The pros far outweigh the cons. But I am concerned about taking on such a challenge while DD is still so little. I don't know why, but I keep thinking this would be easier when she is a little older, in school full days, etc. Part of me thinks I should wait it out a few more years and something else will come along. But I'm in a pretty narrow, specialized field and good jobs like this are extremely rare. 

And maybe I am just scared and I want to remain comfortable and lazy. 

*sigh* 

The bolded is why I'm happy in the job I'm in.  As I said in the job vs. career post, my job allows me to do something I love, but I think I have a good work/life balance.  I wouldn't want to travel and be away from my LO at this age, but I know there are many people who enjoy that part of their job.  I think @dimples12 was talking about a similar predicament, so maybe she can weigh in with her thoughts.  What does your H think? 

MomtobeNJ

H is no damn help at all.

No, seriously. He is excited for me. He would support me if I wanted to move to Guam for work. He would be fine with either choice.

I use the term "travel" loosely because it's not that bad. I will travel among 4 local sites every week, so that's no big deal. Maybe 1 or 2 overnight conferences a year for a couple of nights. That's it. No regular business trips or anything like that.

If I do get an offer, I plan to be honest and tell my future boss that flexibility is one of the reasons I am hesitant. I don't know what the work culture is like there. I don't want to always be the first one out the door - I will certainly stay and do what needs to be done. But I will not work until 7 - 8 every night. I will need to take days off when she's sick or has a school event. And I will certainly need extra flexibility in the beginning because my commute will be about 90 minutes. I need to make sure that's understood from day 1.

hmp1

I took a big promotion while pregnant with James. My work location didn't change but I went from being over 5 people to being over 75 people. I was already putting in a lot of time at work so that part wasn't going to change but I did have to start traveling some. DH and I both feel like we would rather put in the time at work when they are young and won't remember. I would rather work less when they are a little older so I can be home when they get out of school instead of putting them in after school care. Taking the promotion when I was pregnant with James was the stepping stone I needed to get the position I have now, which is a work from home position and is perfect for wanting to be home after school.

BPer

I guess this is one of those things where there won't be a 'perfect' time to move up the ladder.

Even when LO is in school full-time, there will be other obligations, sporting events, social clubs, that sort of thing, and at that point, they'll be old enough to notice when you're not there, IMO.

I would go for it now, and see if after 'putting your time in' you could cut back in 5 or so years.

MomtobeNJ

Thank you for that perspective, @hmp1 and @BPer. I honestly never thought of it that way - that it might be more important to have the flexibility later on. In which case, I would have proven myself already and be more likely to get permission for trade-offs like coming in early to leave earlier, working from home, etc.

Obviously I can't make a decision until an offer is made and I get more info about salary, benefits, and all that. I really feel like this will be an opportunity I can't pass up and I feel guilty. About exactly what, I don't know. It's just overwhelming. 

willy_gert

I have to say that I agree with doing it now, because she won't remember this time and because it will be more important to have flexibility later on.  I would also tell you, don't wait on a good opportunity, especially if you are in a fairly limited field.  There is no guarantee that something will ever come along again and if your career is important to you, which it seems to be, do it now instead of looking back and regretting not taking the chance and doing something that would be awesome for you and your family!

MommaP12

I am also in the camp of do it now.  

That's kind of what I'm doing here.  As you know I started here in December.   This place has flex time, job sharing, work from home, etc.  I'm telling myself that I will "pay my dues" until DD is in Kindergarten (I basically will make all the money while we are paying for daycare, so the next 3.5ish years).  Once both kids are in regular school full time, if we are doing okay financially with no debt and a lot saved with DH's business going well, I may consider job sharing or going down a level or two to go part time.   You will want the flexibility later when there are school plays to see, parent teacher conferences, field trips to volunteer for, etc.   I'm also building up my PTO to be able to take those days for when DS is in first grade in a couple of years.

Can you find out about the culture somehow?  Glassdoor or anything online?  That is HUGE and a big part of what made me miserable at my last my job.  

MomtobeNJ

Thanks, @dimples12 and @thechimichanga . Didn't see your responses until today.

My second interview on Friday went really well, and I should know something by the end of this week. After lots of thinking and long talks with DH over the weekend, I do think I'm going to take it if the salary is in the right range. They assured me that they believe strongly in a balance of work and home life, they support telecommuting and working from home when appropriate, etc.

I really appreciate all the encouragement. It's so much tougher to make decisions like this now that DD is involved. So much to consider!

Chimi, where in NJ are you?