NICU nurses

JuliaAndPete

Most of the time these women are amazing and really understand not just me personally but NICU mom's in general and how fragile we can be.

But sometimes there are one or two who just don't understand what it's like to give birth to a child 3 months early, have her and her sister taken away, told they are sick, put on life support and that you can hold them once a day if you're lucky. They don't know what it's like to have zero control over the well being of these tiny fragile humans who contain your entire heart & soul.

Everything I do every minute of my life is for my daughters. Every thought or smile or tear or laugh or breath is for them. They and my husband are my everything.

If I haven't seen my daughter all day until 7:30 pm and it's time for her to eat during a kangaroo session at 8pm it's not a big deal if I change her diaper and start her care a little early when she's already awake to spend sometime with her.

This one nurse felt the need to raise her voice to me, reprimand me in a room full of people and explain that if my child doesn't sleep she won't grow. As if I haven't been in this hospital room six weeks and have no clue what happens in there. I had just met this woman two minutes prior.

I had to walk out of the room. My husband was livid.
I was so upset my daughter could settle down on me. I just cried the whole time and this woman didn't even care.

I thought of NICU nurses as very special people until tonight. My heart is destroyed.

I just want my babies home.

Erinbsise

We had a few of situations like these while our son was in the nicu. Especially with really young nurses. I went straight to the nurse manager. No hesitation. The couple of nurses that were out of line with me were only our nurses that one time and never again. Good thing because I was ready to rip some heads off. I would go to the nurse manager of the nicu and tell he/she what happened and how much you did not appreciate it. No playing around when it comes to your babies!!!

elizacb

Just go to the nurse admin and tell them you don't want her around your baby. They'll take care of it for you.

Throw3ks

I can't say they understand but you also have to look at it from her point of view; she just met you as well and you are coming in and starting care early. I totally 100% see your side but the nurse is doing what she is taught and told to do. And that's to go by a certain schedule to ensure the best proper care. Nurses reprimanded parents in our NICU as well when they would just start doing things. My advice, when you go in and a new nurse is working always intro yourself first. Even if it's not your babies nurse. I did every single time there was a new nurse and things went a lot smoother. During our 52 day stay I always asked "can we start now?" Communication is key. Hope things go smoothly from here on out.

JuliaAndPete

This nurse wasn't young. She was a fat, old, mean bitch. She clearly just goes to her job, gets it's over with and leaves. She gives other NICU nurses a bad name.

rslhmg

JuliaAndPete said:

This nurse wasn't young. She was a fat, old, mean bitch. She clearly just goes to her job, gets it's over with and leaves. She gives other NICU nurses a bad name.

Are you in the nicu we were in?? Lol. She sounds just like the nurse I had removed from dds care. She worked in the same ward we were in, so we saw her fairly regularly, but the first time she was DDs nurse was the last. We had been given the ok to do cares and kangaroo as often as we wanted by dds team of drs, and she reprimanded me for starting care in front of the entire ward, then told me that we could only hold her once a day and it was an either or situation, both of us couldn't do it. I was livid. I spoke with the charge nurse and she was never dds nurse after that. Sadly that wasnt the first issue we had with her, she had tried to toss my bm prior when she wasnt our nurse. The nurse we had at that time quickly, but politely, put her in her place. Dd was a 32 weeker, so we had a little more leeway than you probably do, but still dont be afraid to speak to the charge nurse. If there was a reason for her reaction it could have been handled better, making you feel like crap (not to mention in front of other parents) is never acceptable.

Tylynngrace

I've had this problem before as well. I went to the head of the nicu and brought it up to her and she talked to the nurse and I haven't had her since. My son was 3 months early as well and it's certainly been a process but it does get better. If you ever want to talk PM me.

Brummy14

Yup, like PPs mentioned, contact the charge nurse, and explain the situation -- and if they don't suggest it themselves, ask that they don't assign that nurse to your LOs again. If your NICU is large enough, that shouldn't be a problem - and is NOT the first time they've dealt with it! We probably had 25+ different nurses, and we only had to do that one time. Don't be afraid to say something!! GL, and hopefully today is a much, MUCH better day.

PhillyGal34

Like pp's said you should tell someone. Not only for your own sanity but your child's being around someone that negative can't be good! Looking back I probably would've just cried but right now I want to bite that lady's head off for you. It's so unfair to reprimand a mother going through this! What a horrible day. I hope today is better for you.

nblondheim

Being in the NICU with twins currently I just dealt with the same. I have loved every nurse but recently came across one that was rougher with my twins than I would've liked, ignored their stress signs and didn't once try to calm them, and her hand washing is horrible! She's a night nurse. Once I made her aware I was awake, she did change for the better some. But I shouldn't have to set an alarm for every night time care for the nurse to do her job better! We have an awesome case manager and I recently talked to her about it and she took care if it. Definitely express your feelings to someone that can help you!!

jbranden12

((HUGS)) We experienced that as well. Even with all the protocols, many nurses still do things differently according to their own preferences or beliefs about what's best for the babies. There were some nurses we just didn't jive with and I didn't feel as comfortable leaving Anna with them. I knew she would be safe, but I didn't think she'd be as comfortable and nor would I. Those first few weeks, I would absolutely break down and need someone else to step in and handle it. Towards the end, I was much more willing to stand up for what I believed was best for my daughter. 

gault530

I had a nurse that was very rude to me, my ILs and mom on a few occasions.  I was so mad at the way she spoke to all of us, but what I later realized is that she has the best interest of my babies in mind.  She came across as rude and very brash, however she wanted people to follow the rules so the babies were not disturbed and over stimulated.  It took me weeks to get past how she treated us, however when I finally realized that she really cared for my babies it helped me to get past her way of communicating. 

I'm not saying the way the nurse spoke to you is appropriate and it is a good idea to let the manager know so she can remind the nurse to be sensitive as it is so stressful to be a NICU mom.  Just remember that she is trying to do the best thing for your babies sometimes it can come across wrong.

[Deleted User]

I'm sorry you had to go through that. We had a pleasant experience for the most part during our long stay but had a few nurses that were abrasive. If I felt slighted or thought my son wasn't being properly cared for, I would have no problem talking to the head nurse. I think you should talk to the head nurse for a piece of mind and that the nurse doesn't make that mistake in the future.

DrRx

Fire the nurse!  In Adalyn's 83 days in the NICU, luckily we only had to fire 2 of her nurses--as in, they were never assigned to her again.  Granted, they were over issues with her care (where I didn't feel comfortable with them caring for her due to mistakes), but if you don't feel comfortable with them, regardless of the reason, there is no reason why they have to be assigned.  

Definitely speak to the charge nurse currently on the floor, and then speak to the nurse manager when she is in. 

kobicou

I also had issues with one nurse in the NICU. Annika's feeding tube was always taped to the side of her mouth and they switched sides daily. This particular nurse kept taping it to the front so Anni couldn't even stick her tongue out comfortably and it was upsetting her. The nurse very rudely told me that she had to do it or my baby would have her mouth lopsided for the rest of her life. Baby was annoyed, I was annoyed and she was really adamant. I did complain and she did get a talking to. I did make it clear that I did not mind her assigned to Annika though as she was clearly an experienced nurse who was very gentle with my baby. Things were better after that. Do speak up for yourself. It is not ok to have to deal with attitude on top of all the other stress you are going through. In the end, the care of your baby is a joint effort between you and the nurses.... it should be a supportive partnership.

staceymack

I work in health care. Regardless of the situation it is never OK to speak to family members this way. It is unprofessional and rude. We had one encounter like this with a NICU nurse. I had her removed from caring for my girls. I went to the assistant director and had a meltdown.

I agree with PP in that communication is key. However, it is never OK for a nurse or anyone to speak to you in that manner.

rkcaraway

Not much to add. Agree with pp, speak to nurse mgr. we have 120 in our NICU. 4 of which are never allowed to care for my daughter again. Also, I don't care if they are the professional or not, no one will yell at me about my kids...ever.

flerlgirl

I'm sorry. We had an issue with a couple of nurses but they worked out after I talked to them. I did speak to the charge nurse once so feel free to do that! Good luck. 

luvboston

So sorry this happened to me twice and those nurses never darkened that side of the nicu again. I immed went to the nurse manager. There is no reason for that nonsense You are the parent and unless you are harming them they can go piss up a rope. The reason LO left before her due date was because we touched cuddled sang danced and were with her 20 hours a day.

TheDairyQueenx3

We had the same issue when our twins were in the NICU. I went to the charge nurse and explained.... Well rather firmly told her that, that nurse was not to be near my children ever again. If you don't feel comfortable with the ones taking care of your children you have every right to have them replaced with a better nurse. The nurse whom I had issues with was quickly put in her place by myself as well as the head nurse. I simply stated my babies my rules ( within dr orders but you get what I mean!) you have to be the advocate and voice for them if she has a piss poor attitude you tell her to shove it and get someone who cares!