Switching from EP to FF?

Stephanie2167

I was able to succesfully nurse DD1 for 7 months. I really enjoyed it and was pretty sad when my supply began to drop (because I got lazy pumping at work) and decided to switch to formula.

I had said that when I got pregnant again I was really hoping to nurse for a year. Then we found out we were having twins. One of the first things I said to DH when leaving the ultrasound was "There goes my nursing plan." When the girls were born it took 5 days for my milk to come in so combined with jaundice and weight loss we supplemented the first week. Since then I've continues to try and latch them here and there but 95% of the time exclusively pump.

Each time I pump I get about 10-12oz. I have a pretty large freezer stash at just over 6 weeks post partum (I bag anywhere from 12-24oz a day).

I know they say don't quit on a bad day but in all honesty I'm pretty miserable. I have one girl who constantly cries and is gassy and spits up and one that is mostly pretty content and a really slow eater but also gassy. Most of the time when I find time to pump someone is crying, DD1 is in the refrigerator for the 100th time and I'm just waiting for my bottles to be filled to be able to get off the couch.

DD1 threw a complete tantrum today that involved hitting, screaming and throwing things (all because I needed her out of the bath because one of her sisters was crying), the twins never want to be put down (a swear someone is always crying) and my boobs felt like they were going to explode because I hadn't pumped in 5 hours. Then DD wanted a story to be read and I just didn't have it in me. I called my mom in and asked her to read the story.

{I should add DH has been gone for two weeks for training for the military so my mom has been here helping}

I took the crying twin into my bedroom, sat in the rocker and cried. I cried because I was exhausted. I cried because I feel like I never get to sit and rock and enjoy my babies. As I was rocking her she just looked at me in the eyes and I felt like I was missing that time with her and her sister. I also cried because DD1 is always asking me to play with her, and honestly, I can't remember the last time I went in her playroom and did a puzzle or colored with her. I cried because starting this morning I think we might have a dead animal rotting in our attic or wall somewhere and the smell is driving me batty.

So my question to you is, if you decided to switch from nursing or exclusively pumping to formula, did it take some of the stress away? Did you find that you had more time to enjoy your kids? And possibly get some housework done? Maybe feel like yourself again?

Thanks for letting me vent.

whitehousem

My experience is with DD, so my situation is a little different (twins due in May). I mostly had to EP with her bc of latch issues that started from supplementing in the beginning bc of weight loss. I also had mastitis twice. Anyway...I EP'd for four months and built a stash of about two months worth of milk. I decided to stop bc we were going on our third trip and refused to travel with the pump again and have to bring milk back through security, etc. I remember DD screaming while I was pumping and feeling so guilty... And only having time to attempt to nurse, then bottle feed, then pump... Only to start again. To answer your question, yes, it was a relief to stop and liberating, but I also felt a ton of guilt that it didn't work out. In hindsight, it was silly to be so upset bc I did the best I could for her and she got breast milk for six months (with some formula- usually a bottle a day). Giving her that last bag of milk was really hard. A few months down the line I was feeling more like myself (since no longer attached to the pump) and I couldn't imagine still pumping. If it's causing you that much stress then stop... It's ok, really. I know now that it may or may not work for us with the twins and I have to lower my expectations some. It's not worth beating yourself up over. Hope that helps a little.

LottaLattes

I EPd for my twins for 10 months with enough to get to 12, so I totally feel ya. What I always did (can't see how old your twins are) is if life became stressful and the pumping was making it harder, I would drop a pump session. I am blessed with a great supply so it didn't make a huge impact for a long time. Anyhow, it makes quitting easier in the long run as you have to drop pumps anyhow.

With that said, one piece of advice I got here was if you do quit, take a minute to mourn stopping and then run with your freedom. You don't need to justify why you give your kids formula, and they will grow and develop just fine if you do (not saying you said this, my emotional issue).

On the other hand, I didn't have time to get housework or anything else done until they were nap trained pretty well, regardless of the pumping Give yourself a break and do what you need to do to be the best mom you can. I have older kids, no one notices if someone was ff or bf on the playground

LegallyBlonde217

I switched from EPing to FF around 6 weeks. My supply was horrible anyway due to 2 hemorrhages and a retained placenta, and I was just exhausted.  It was making me miserable.  Making that final decision to stop pumping was so hard.  I cried daily for about 10 days once I stopped.  But in the end, it was the best decision I've made for my family thus far.  My stress level went down by about 75%, which made me a happier and much BETTER mom. 

Good luck in making your decision. 

kari.sandall

I EP for 4 months for my twins. They were preemies and never got good at nursing. They were super slow eaters (an hour each per feeding). Then I'd pump after feeding them and it was practically time to start the cycle over again. My supply dropped and I had to supplement with formula. I started taking Reglan to up my supply. I became super anxious. I was always stressed while pumping, especially if a baby started crying. One day I was pumping and literally had a mental break down. It was too stressful and the medicine was making me crazy. I told my husband what was going on and we decided I needed to quit. He put my pump away and I stopped cold turkey (not the best idea but I literally couldn't force myself to pump anymore). I was uncomfortable for a few days and had some major mommy guilt, but now that I look back 5 months later, it was really a blessing in disguise.

I'm not sure if this helps, but I thought I'd share my experience.

Ylvelill

This by lottalattes is good advice

"With that said, one piece of advice I got here was if you do quit, take a minute to mourn stopping and then run with your freedom. You don't need to justify why you give your kids formula, and they will grow and develop just fine if you do (not saying you said this, my emotional issue). "

I am a ftm who is cooking twins and honestly this feeding business is what scares me the most. I am in awe of anyone who can hold it together with twins, not to mention twins and a toddler

mamatotwins0812

I so feel and hear your pain. I didn't have another child but I EP'd for my twins for 4 months. For me, I started feeling like I was falling in PPD around 3 months post partum. I was miserable always being hooked up to the pump and I would cry for the exact same reasons as you (felt like I was missing out on one and one time etc). It was actually my OB who suggested weaning to start getting my hormones back regulated. It took me about a month until I mustered up the courage to do it bc I struggled so bad with guilt. Once I was finally done, I mourned terribly and struggled even more with guilt and actually considered starting up all over again. Then I had a very serious convo with myself and allowed myself to mourn, but then allowed myself to feel ok with the decision. I have to tell you, once I stopped beating myself up I felt like a different person. I was happier, I was able to sleep more and I just felt so much better in general since my hormones started to regulate. I would have loved to do it longer, and commend any woman that can, but for me, it was night and day. If you're feeling like stopping is the best thing for you then do it. Your children will be happier for it bc you will be happier for them. You did your best....that's all you can do! Good luck mama!

sunkiss674

I only BF/pumped for 3 weeks. I wasn't sleeping and I wasn't eating.  I'm a FTM, my twins were born at 36 weeks one spent 2 days in the NICU and the other spent a week in the NICU.  One baby would latch for 15 minutes and then loose interest the other baby wouldn't latch at all.  The schedule they wanted me to keep was to breast feed baby A for 15 minutes or longer, then I would bottle feed them, and then I would pump.  After I finished all of that it would be time to do it all over again. I felt awful because I felt like I was missing out on so much time with the babies all I wanted to do was sleep.  I made the decision to stop BF and I felt so guilty.  After I did stop I felt a burden come off of my shoulders.  I am getting a little more sleep and I have time to spend with my babies.  Not to mention if I need to run out somewhere I don't need to schedule it around pumping, I can just call my mom or sister and go.

I guess the way I rationalized it in my mind is I was a formula fed baby and I think I came out pretty fabulous 

PurpleIris30

It sounds like you would really like to quit, and I fully support any feeding decisions you make.

It sounds like you have an amazing milk supply, and thought I would ask if they are having latch issues and if that might be something a lactation consultant could help with? If you could transition to doing more breast feeding, I find it much easier and quicker than bottle feeding. I hate being hooked to the pump all the time and did that while in the nicu, but breast feeding is much more efficient once they were bigger.

No pressure - just wondering if this might be a good solution for you since you seem to have such a good supply.

Stephanie2167

@purpleiris30 - they actually don't latch too bad I just hate nursing one while the other screams. Plus, since I am producing so much, once they are done I end up needing to pump to empty.

I'm feeling better today, which I know is why they say don't quit on a bad day. Maybe starting tomorrow I'll start working more on nursing them. Especially tandem since I've only done it successfully twice.

Thanks ladies for your stories an advice.

Stephanie2167

@purpleiris30 - when I do nurse the girls, they are usually on for maybe 15 minutes. Is that too short of time? If they come off should I burp them and then try and latch them again? Or just burp them and then wait for them to be hungry again? Can you tell I've forgotten everything?

PurpleIris30

Might be worth experimenting! Also, I wouldn't pump (or taper off pumping) after nursing and your body will start adjusting your milk production so that you don't have such an oversupply.

I actually think it takes way less time than prepping/cleaning bottles or dealing with pumping. I tend to tandem only when they are melting down at the same time (which surprisingly isn't that often once they get used to eating right after one another), but if I had an older child, I bet I'd be doing a lot more tandem. A lot of women on here swear by the tandem nursing for saving time.

If one starts to cry while the other is nursing, I'll sit up in the bed, put my knees up with one baby on my knees facing me and rock my legs back and forth to help the crying, and nurse the other baby. Not sure if that description makes sense.

Again, no pressure - just throwing it out there. I've loved not having to deal with the pump and am not looking forward to my return to work when I will need to start up in earnest again. I also really like the convenience of no bottles.

Wishing35

I only lasted a week breast feeding. Once I decided to switch to formula a huge weight was lifted, I did feel guilty at first but I'm glad I did it. It gave my husband a chance to help and I would skip one night feeding and be able to get 4 hours consecutive sleep which helped save my sanity.