Turning down #2 shower

lizztheo

I know I'm still really early but MIL is getting ahead of herself and has already mentioned a shower. How do I politely decline? I can't tell her that I think it's tacky because she had showers with all her kids and pretty much all their family friends do showers for every baby. She is overly sensitive and will be upset. I want to make it clear that I absolutely am not having one because otherwise she might go plan a surprise one. It was ridiculous that I had THREE showers with my first (one at my mom's church, one co-ed at my MIL and a "joint" shower) and I asked MIL not to invite the same people to her shower and the joint one but she did anyway. Please give me tips to nix this idea early on!!

Disneygeek77

Also talk to  your husband and tell him that he needs to tell you if her gets wind of her trying to surprise you with one.

Maybe ask if she can plan a meet the baby party instead ?

MamaLlama14

"Thanks so much for the offer, but we aren't going to need another shower.  We got so much from the first that we're all set.  I wouldn't feel right asking people to attend another shower for us."

Also, I agree with PP that you need to get DH on board to field it b/c you need to be a unified front, and since it's his mother, it's his battle too.

sschwege

I guess if you are worried about offending her maybe you could say something like, "That's so thoughtful of you, but we already have everything we need.  But you know what I would love is for us to all meet up and spend some time together before the baby arrives.  What if (name a few close family members and friends) went out to lunch, had a spa day, movie night, whatever."  Maybe that would get the message across while still fulfilling her desire to do something special?

dufferoo

How about taking a route that doesn't even hint at the tackiness factor: "That is sooo nice of you to offer, but after all the showers we had before Baby #1 was born, we are actually really excited to celebrate this baby kind of privately without any official events!"

RibbitGrl930

Agree with PPs. Lay it on thick about much you appreciate her thinking of you, but that you're not comfortable with having another one. If she throws you a surprise one, that's on her. I also agree with making sure you and DH are on the same page so he can back you up in case she tries to pull him into convincing you to change your mind.

lizztheo

Thanks everyone for the advice! I finally have my husband on board (before I was even pregnant, he kept saying we would have to have one if we were having a girl) but he finally understands that it makes me uncomfortable and I think it's tacky. I don't care if we have a girl in boy's clothes and if he cares so much, then we'll buy more clothes, it's not a big deal! So he promises to back me up on this and hopefully there will be no shower. I don't want a meet the baby party because I have issues with germs/random people holding my newborn.

Disneygeek77

Good, I am glad you both are on the same page.