Support Check In

sjn00

I posted a couple days ago about needing a place to go for the negative feelings we might be having during our pregnancies.. Just wanted to check-in..

How is everyone doing?!


*if you want a special name for this check in (I will do every Wed) just let me know what you think it should be called below with your update =]

sjn00

Lets see.. I definitely feel a LOT better after opening up on the first thread. Not completely 100% but I haven't had a night of crying since. So definitely an improvement.
Eating is still a daily struggle and is only getting harder as the days pass. I still hate the way I look and am hoping I can just sit at this weight for a little while until I can accept it and move forward. I am trying not to lose any more weight, but thats not guaranteed it wont happen.
I see my OB on Friday and am looking forward to anti depressants to hopefully bring me back to myself.

Xoxoxo

tbmadeamistake

Thanks for this!

I feel horribly moody this time around, especially my anxiety.  Poor DH gets the brunt of both my temper and my anxiety.  I think he's looking forward to next week when I'm away for a night for a work, even though he has to deal with C by himself.  My catastrophic thinking is in over drive and all I can picture all the time is DH dying or something happening to my parents.  Oddly I'm not at all worried about C and the baby, it's all focused on grownup stuff.  Work sucks, which doesn't help and is something else for me to worry about.  I talk to DH as much as I can, but I'm beginning to think I might want to ask for a therapy referral.  It's just so hard to find one with evening hours, and I can't afford to miss more work time-wise...sucks. 

I will get through this, I've done it before, and the shining light at the end of the tunnel is being able to become a SAHM.  I'm so done with this job.  I keep telling myself that work will be over soon and that DH will be fine.  Some days that works better than others.  I am trying to do a little meditation, we'll see if I can keep it up. 

Good luck @SaraJoy00!

anordstrWed114947

I don't know if its 100% me but everything seems to crash at once.

I'm off all my meds. Except the only one I wouldn't survive without and weaning off that too. (Still safe but my choice) I feel like people just don't understand. So yes I may be a lit more emotional and unstable but I'm pregnant!! I think I'm doing great considering what I'm like with no meds at all.
I try to only ponder on what I have control over. SO was afraid to tell me my car was involved in a hit and run. Surprised him when I literally laughed it off. "Well maybe now I can get the part I damaged fixed" "at least I was not in the car"

But if he hurts my feelings and makes me cry, he ignores me until I say something or 30 min of complete science. Then feels the need to justify why he made me cry. I'm just so sick of it. How about just an I'm sorry? Without attitude ?

Mztwilson

Feeling down and out. I'm not what you'd consider a housewife. I am used to working dishes stay in the sink until the next day laundry only gets done on my day off if that ect. Well now I've been forced to stay home due to my back problem. So I've kept the house clean vacuumed the kitchen is now always clean laundry done ect and I feel like I get no credit or any appreciation. It's depressing. I don't expect dh to tell me everyday how good the house looks ect but it would be nice to just hear every once in a while tanks for doing the laundry or wow this place looks great.

sjn00

Lilygrace48 said:

Thanks for this!

I feel horribly moody this time around, especially my anxiety.  Poor DH gets the brunt of both my temper and my anxiety.  I think he's looking forward to next week when I'm away for a night for a work, even though he has to deal with C by himself.  My catastrophic thinking is in over drive and all I can picture all the time is DH dying or something happening to my parents.  Oddly I'm not at all worried about C and the baby, it's all focused on grownup stuff.  Work sucks, which doesn't help and is something else for me to worry about.  I talk to DH as much as I can, but I'm beginning to think I might want to ask for a therapy referral.  It's just so hard to find one with evening hours, and I can't afford to miss more work time-wise...sucks. 

I will get through this, I've done it before, and the shining light at the end of the tunnel is being able to become a SAHM.  I'm so done with this job.  I keep telling myself that work will be over soon and that DH will be fine.  Some days that works better than others.  I am trying to do a little meditation, we'll see if I can keep it up. 

Good luck @SaraJoy00!

Oh man =[ I hope your day away even if it is for work is helpful for you! Maybe thats what you need, is just some time away from everything?
I would for sure check into a therapist if you can! It is definitely helpful in the since you can get everything off of your mind and leave it at that office rather than talking with your husband and having it be constantly around ya know? I hope things get better for you!!

sjn00

anordstrWed114947 said:

I don't know if its 100% me but everything seems to crash at once.

I'm off all my meds. Except the only one I wouldn't survive without and weaning off that too. (Still safe but my choice) I feel like people just don't understand. So yes I may be a lit more emotional and unstable but I'm pregnant!! I think I'm doing great considering what I'm like with no meds at all.
I try to only ponder on what I have control over. SO was afraid to tell me my car was involved in a hit and run. Surprised him when I literally laughed it off. "Well maybe now I can get the part I damaged fixed" "at least I was not in the car"

But if he hurts my feelings and makes me cry, he ignores me until I say something or 30 min of complete science. Then feels the need to justify why he made me cry. I'm just so sick of it. How about just an I'm sorry? Without attitude ?

I know what you mean, and like once you are stressed to the max the slightest thing feels like a huge blow! And you just fall apart at everything!! Why are you off all of your meds?

sjn00

Mztwilson said:

Feeling down and out. I'm not what you'd consider a housewife. I am used to working dishes stay in the sink until the next day laundry only gets done on my day off if that ect. Well now I've been forced to stay home due to my back problem. So I've kept the house clean vacuumed the kitchen is now always clean laundry done ect and I feel like I get no credit or any appreciation. It's depressing. I don't expect dh to tell me everyday how good the house looks ect but it would be nice to just hear every once in a while tanks for doing the laundry or wow this place looks great.

Seriously! My husband does the same thing. They want all the credit in the world for putting a dish in the dishwasher but we clean the whole house and they dismiss it haha. Its just something I got used to and then throw a fit when he tries to mess it up cuz he can never put things away! At least I get the satisfaction I need with the house being spotless and I can say whatever I want when he tries to mess it up again!

sjn00

KrystaJ said:

I hope everyone is doing well!

I haven't been doing great. I really felt that my PTSD was getting better and obstacles keep getting in my way and setting me back. It really doesn't help that there have been a few issues at work, I've been sick, and DH is out of town for two weeks.

Oh man!! Hang in there!! Its so hard when you are trying to deal with one huge problem and little ones keep getting thrown on you!!

allrightmeow

:x

anordstrWed114947

Off meds cuz my dr said I can't have them. Plus some I've heard are not safe.

sjn00

anordstrWed114947 said:

Off meds cuz my dr said I can't have them. Plus some I've heard are not safe.

oh man =[ I am sorry! are they working with you on how you are feeling being off of them?

sjn00

caitykate said:

I had a rough day today. I'm waiting on hearing back abt this job I interviewed for w/in my company and so I have been hiding my pregnancy (20w on Saturday) so the stress of wanting to get the job plus the stress of hiding this pregnancy for an indefinite period of time longer is getting to me. I was so agitated this afternoon and immediately wanted my benzos and a drink and then to sleep it off as that's my bad day coping strategy - I keep having to realize that's all behind me as I can't be a mom who mixes benzos and alcohol. I don't want to be that person and I can't if I'm watching her so I need to figure out a way. I know this is a good time to practice and that the stress will only get worse w a newborn so I don't really know what I'm going to do except for see a psych. My BFF is preg and got maternity shots done today and I had a hard time comprehending why she would do this bc it causes me anxiety to seriously think about the concept - and because she's so close I talked to her about it and I think it set me off getting irrationally angry especially when she said of course she would get the photos done because she's not insecure about her body like me. Ok. That was definitely too long - but it just feels so good to get this out of me. Thanks SaraJoy

I am glad you were able to vent!! Good luck on the job interview, just remember to stay calm, if it is meant to be it will happen, and if not, everything happens for a reason, so it could turn out to be a good thing in the end!! xoxox

coffee-saur

Glad I decided to click on this one!  I was wondering when it'd come around again.

Monday I woke up with a sore neck... Like sooo bad I couldn't move my head to the left without really bad pain.  It was super depressing because I feel so behind on stuff around the house the way it was, and I just sat like a bump on the couch cuz of my stupid neck!  Tues was better but still painful, and today was better then yesterday and I went in for a massage to hopefully help.  

It kinda thru me for a loop and I sobbed a few times, feeling worthless and a bother.  I think hormones are playing with my head some, so if I keep that in mind, it helps me feel better.

SaraJoy00 said:

Lets see.. I definitely feel a LOT better after opening up on the first thread. Not completely 100% but I haven't had a night of crying since. So definitely an improvement. Eating is still a daily struggle and is only getting harder as the days pass. I still hate the way I look and am hoping I can just sit at this weight for a little while until I can accept it and move forward. I am trying not to lose any more weight, but thats not guaranteed it wont happen. I see my OB on Friday and am looking forward to anti depressants to hopefully bring me back to myself. Xoxoxo

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

stupid quote box....

I hope Fri can help you get some answers!  Body image stuff is hard anyway, and I wonder sometimes if it's not worse while pregnant because a person feels sorta out of control of what's happening...  Keep your chin up!  No matter how you change, you are perfect!  

>:D<      I think that's a hug...

ETA:  sorry it sounds so cheesy

elsa1688

Thanks for this checkin! While it sucks that everyone is dealing with this, it's nice to know I'm not alone.

I've been so moody and anxiety prone lately. My bf is so understanding but I feel horrible that I'm such a beezy all. the. time. I am not being the best worker and I'm so ready to be done with work.

I had a full on breakdown in the Ikea parking lot tonight. I'm hoping I can figure out a way to rise above this soon

sjn00

LizM05 said:

Glad I decided to click on this one!  I was wondering when it'd come around again.

Monday I woke up with a sore neck... Like sooo bad I couldn't move my head to the left without really bad pain.  It was super depressing because I feel so behind on stuff around the house the way it was, and I just sat like a bump on the couch cuz of my stupid neck!  Tues was better but still painful, and today was better then yesterday and I went in for a massage to hopefully help.  

It kinda thru me for a loop and I sobbed a few times, feeling worthless and a bother.  I think hormones are playing with my head some, so if I keep that in mind, it helps me feel better.

SaraJoy00 said:

Lets see.. I definitely feel a LOT better after opening up on the first thread. Not completely 100% but I haven't had a night of crying since. So definitely an improvement.
Eating is still a daily struggle and is only getting harder as the days pass. I still hate the way I look and am hoping I can just sit at this weight for a little while until I can accept it and move forward. I am trying not to lose any more weight, but thats not guaranteed it wont happen.
I see my OB on Friday and am looking forward to anti depressants to hopefully bring me back to myself.

Xoxoxo

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

stupid quote box....

I hope Fri can help you get some answers!  Body image stuff is hard anyway, and I wonder sometimes if it's not worse while pregnant because a person feels sorta out of control of what's happening...  Keep your chin up!  No matter how you change, you are perfect!  

>:D<      I think that's a hug...

ETA:  sorry it sounds so cheesy

I am going to put this up every Wed!!! =] so we will always have a place to come for the week! =]

I hope your neck starts feeling better! You might feel a little sore after the massage because it moves tissues and liquids around, but hopefully the initial pain is gone!! Hopefully you just slept on it funny!! But I can understand how that would make you feel emotional when you are limited on what you can do because of it!!

Yeah, I used my eating disorder before as a way to numb the pain of my past and keep control of current situations. Now I have no coping mechanism to numb any pain I feel and have no control over my body so my mind is just completely freaking out. Thank you for your sweet words!! xoxoxo

sjn00

elsa1688 said:

Thanks for this checkin! While it sucks that everyone is dealing with this, it's nice to know I'm not alone.

I've been so moody and anxiety prone lately. My bf is so understanding but I feel horrible that I'm such a beezy all. the. time. I am not being the best worker and I'm so ready to be done with work.

I had a full on breakdown in the Ikea parking lot tonight. I'm hoping I can figure out a way to rise above this soon

Oh man =[ anxiety is seriously the WORST!!! Depression is hard to come by don't get me wrong.. But anxiety is seriously just one of those uneasy feelings that are so hard to manage!!

I am sorry you ended up having a break down, but i am glad you were able to release those feelings you were having! Sometimes all we need is a really good cry and a long sleep to help us get our head back on the right track. I hope you start feeling better soon and I am glad you have a supportive bf that is able to stick by you during your hard times!!! ((Hugs))

sjn00

Just got back from my OB. She is putting me on 20mg Prozac! I am sooo relieved! I was super nervous about going on Zoloft. But she said she wanted to keep me on Prozac since thats what I was on before. Yay!! My body reacts very well to Prozac so I am very optimistic that everything will be okay!
As far as my weight, she said even though I lost I am still at a good weight at not to worry about it. Kind of triggering cuz now I dont want to gain weight and am going to try not to unless its the baby doing it and not me. I also hate the fact that I could potentially weigh less and still be okay weight wise which makes me regret all the weight I have had to gain =[ ughhhh.

coffee-saur

Yay!  Glad your Dr was helpful.  

An Aunt told me with her last baby (which was 10 or so years prior) her Dr told that you don't have to gain weight for the baby.  Your body will give the baby all the nutrition etc. it needs, so it won't hurt you LO.  BUT that being said, what will happen is your body will short YOU of what you need, in order to take care of the baby.  So it could potentially leave you tired, weak, or even unhealthy. Not meaning you have to gain weight, but just make sure and take care of yourself too.    glad for your good news!

sjn00

LizM05 said:

Yay!  Glad your Dr was helpful.  

An Aunt told me with her last baby (which was 10 or so years prior) her Dr told that you don't have to gain weight for the baby.  Your body will give the baby all the nutrition etc. it needs, so it won't hurt you LO.  BUT that being said, what will happen is your body will short YOU of what you need, in order to take care of the baby.  So it could potentially leave you tired, weak, or even unhealthy. Not meaning you have to gain weight, but just make sure and take care of yourself too.    glad for your good news!

Yeah.. That is another issue I am having. Convincing myself that I dont need the extra nutrients because my body will take care of the baby... I have Anorexia though.. So a huge part of the massive weight gain was to take me from being severly underweight to a more "healthy" underweight. I am kind of at that border now. It sucks. I miss looking like I did. I feel so obese now.