work gettin' me down

llybeck

Does anyone have advice about not bringing your work life home with you? I could cry and complain for hours about my job but basically, it's just plain horrible. I feel like I have an elephant sitting on my chest the whole time I'm there and I rarely even take a lunch break, it's bad.

Anyways, I feel like I can't keep myself from complaining about it even when I'm at home. It's gotten so bad that I was actually pretty insensitive to my fiance today and it turns out he was pretty broken up about the death of a distant relative. I feel like a complete ass and he actually left because I said we needed a break from each other tonight, we were both saying things that were out of line.

I really just feel like a complete jerk and this isn't me, I don't know what's happening to me or how to stop dwelling on work and just let it go at the door. I've been applying to other jobs on an almost daily basis but I haven't really heard back yet, it's so frustrating.

kimberlymacrae

No advice. I take work home with me all the time. It is not unusual to see me reading emails at 5:00p, 7:00p, 10:00p and then again at 5:30a... Actually I have some advice now that I am getting warmed up.

1. Wine.
2. Take 15 min. each and you get the full 15 min. to complain, tell stories, bitch, moan, etc. about work. Then after that, even though you want to complain more... you can't. This works only if the other person practices active listening.
3. Wine.
4. Hot baths.
5. Reggae (yes, @HBirdie!!!)
6. MOST IMPORTANT: Wine.

kimberlymacrae

Look for new jobs here: https://pnnl.jobs/jobs/

VitaLuna

I have a stressful job and I've learned over the years to leave it in the car on the way home. Sometimes I have conversations with myself about how things could've gone differently. Frequently I will talk (yes, out loud) as though I'm talking to DH telling him about all the crap that happened that day. When I pull in the garage, that's it, conversation over. I very rarely talk about work at home anymore.

Dee2588

I totally agree with @kimberlymacrae hotbaths will make you feel A LOT better. Whenever I have a rough day, the hotshower just makes me feel better. Like she said venting for a couple of mins is fine, just don't make it a habit of an all day kind of thing because it will get old. I'm sorry that you're feeling this way, take it one day at a time and try to keep positive thoughts throughout the day. Probably easier said than done but wine and hotshowers are amazing!

Edit: sorry for my writing I'm using my phone and the keyboard sucks on this thing.

staceymack

I have a stressful job too. It can be really hard to leave it behind with emails and phone calls coming in around the clock. I think the best advice here is wine! One of the best stress relievers for me is high intensity cardio. Especially something that involves kicking and punching!

ETA: I hope something better comes along for you!

renee6465

Really no advice here but just know work is just work. Your DH and LO are there to make things better! Heck take your little miss in her room for a diaper change when you first get home, tell her all about your day and I guarantee you will feel better and I'm sure she'd totally be on your side. Mommy time for her and you get to vent and get a little off your chest, win win.

michaelaelaine01

I understand your stress. I'm a designer at an ad agency and I'm running non-stop all hours of the day. Plus I do a ton of freelance design. This is an especially busy time because I design wedding invites and it's almost wedding season.

My laptop is literally connected to me at all times. Clients love my stuff, hate my stuff. People want things created instantly and some days I literally cannot think of one creative thing. Work is always on my mind.

Before LO, I would stay at my desk until 3am without question to meet a deadline. But now I can't do that, so I force myself to focus at work while I'm there (no more jacking around) and I force myself to work when LO is asleep, even though I'd rather just crash on the couch.

No real advice to offer, so I'll just commiserate with you. Wine does help. So does whiskey. I'm more creative when I'm buzzed. Hang in there, lady!

llybeck

Thank you all, you have had great suggestions. I like the talking in the car or venting to DD, those are both much better options! It's nice to feel like at least I'm not alone too, it's hard to let it go and before I didn't think I did this so much. I guess things just get magnified now with DD and having her makes me want to forget about all of this even more and I feel worse when I dwell on that instead of really enjoying my time with my family. And who has two thumbs and needs some wine and a hot bath? This chick right here. Those suggestions are beyond perfect!

And @kimberlymacrae, dang you for making me want to move to WA even more!!!