My SS Poll on Maternity Leave

lest12

I'm pretty torn on this one...

My job has a pretty great maternity leave policy. 12 weeks FMLA, but then I can take up to 6 months total - paid or unpaid depending on the amount of accrued/sick vacation time I have in the bank.

I currently have enough time saved to take about 15 weeks paid leave, leaving myself very little time in my bank.

I floated the idea of working part-time, from home, during my maternity leave so that I can extend that 15 weeks to about 22 weeks, and still come back with a few weeks of sick/vacation time in the bank. Initially my boss was an ass, but my manager (boss' boss) thought it was a great idea and is all about making it work (working from home is not typical practice at my job). A standard 'schedule' wouldn't work with the accounting process, so it won't be something like, Tues/Thurs 9-5. I don't know if this makes it better or worse.

So... my question is - is giving up 15-20 hours a week to have to worry about work worth being home for 7 extra weeks?

A few other possibly relevant things here...
1) My job usually gives me a good amount of anxiety. I don't know what will be worse, anxiety that I have to still worry about getting work done, or anxiety that I'm not here getting the work done. Maybe when a baby is here, I won't give a shit at all!
2) No one in my office is trained to do my job. I think there'd be a pretty big learning curve to get them to do my job while I am gone. I'm already afraid of coming back to a mess. This is why my manager loves the idea.
3) DH works nights and will be home during the day.
4) The first 4 weeks will be all maternity leave, no work.

Sorry if this is long... But what would you guys do? Any thoughts?

lest12

Sorry - I REALLY didn't mean for it to be that long!

k2k2tog

I voted for doing the part time work. It sounds like not doing the part-time work would make the return to work even more painful than it's already going to be, since there's no one else there to do your job. 

That said, if you can manage it financially, and manage the stress of what awaits you when you go back to work, I would 100% say to just take the 22 weeks. The more time with LO, the better, IMO.

catsinawindow

I voted for the part time option bc it will give you more time home, and it sounds like your DH will be able to watch your LO during the day while you are at work. My only suggestion would be whether there is a way to extend your full time maternity leave to 6 weeks. Weeks 3-4 are tough especially if you are BFing bc baby has a growth spurt right then.

nunzchucks

This is somewhat related - when I quit my job to SAH, they offered me part time and work at home. I said no, only because I didn't feel like I could be the mom I want to be and the employee I want to be at the same time. The extra money would have been nice, but just not worth it for my sanity. I picked the first option, because I could not work and take care of the baby without something suffering.

arekeweg

I voted for the 15 hrs one.  I've had co-workers tell me that it's hard to go back full-time right away and easing back into it is better.  I've also had women tell me that the best balance they have found is to work part-time while your kids are little.  That way you get time with the kids and time with adults.

lest12

Thanks so much for the thoughts, guys!

I could extend the 4 weeks to 6 weeks.

DH thinks I should go for it and do the part-time work.  He has no problem jumping in and helping during the day.

Once I go back to work full-time, DH will be home with the baby all day.  I think he is really looking forward to it (I'm slightly jealous!) but I also think it is going to be a lot on him - he'll leave when I get home and 4 to 'start' his workday.  So it might be nice to have me home for a longer period of time.

@lilnunz1 - I get your point, totally.  I think it's great that I have this option but it makes me a little sad to think I'll have to give up ANY time to think about work at all.  But 15 hours a week isn't that much.  But I worry that I'll be able to cut it off at 15 hours a week.  But then I can rack up the hours to stay home even longer. And so goes the flip-flopping!

wtfisup

Not voting yet because I'm not sure. I might pursue a similar option. I.e. Work from home on design stuff a few hours a day during leave.

diagonalley

I voted the suck it up and work part time because you'll get a longer stretch at home and your husband will be there to help with the baby as needed and that's awesome!  I also think once baby arrives you'll be like, eh, f*ck it, and not worry as much about work as you did before.  I plan on having that attitude, too

lest12

 

wtfisup said:

Not voting yet because I'm not sure. I might pursue a similar option. I.e. Work from home on design stuff a few hours a day during leave.

Awesome.  Mind if I ask which way you're leaning?

nunzchucks

@lest12, at my old job (insurance), people want things when they want them. I always prided myself on giving quick and prompt answers. There's no way that my agents would have respected my work hours either. If you can cut it off at 15 hrs/week, I think you will have plenty of nap time to get work done. Maybe I should have voted SS

jaybee11

I voted just take the 15 weeks and enjoy it.  I had a previous manager do the part-time leave (paternity in this case), and it was a train wreck.  People still expected him to be available at all times, and I know he stressed more about making sure work was covered than he wanted to.  Ultimately, neither he nor his boss was happy with the way it worked out, and I think it negatively impacted the team's perception of him.  I'm also in an accounting/finance function, so I understand the feeling that no one else knows *exactly* how to do what you do, but I always tell myself that if any of us were to be hit by a bus, the company would find a way to not come to a screeching halt.  They have several months to plan and train a backup for you; it shouldn't be your responsibility to make sure everything keeps running while you're gone.

I REALLY wanted to vote take the full 22 weeks, since that's what I'm planning on doing, but I obviously don't know your financial situation.  It would be worth it to me, but I'm pretty sure my company's policy is that once you go on unpaid leave, they are allowed to post your position.  They still have to take you back once you're off leave, but often it'll be up to you to find a new specific role to fill.  Just something to think about!

lest12

@jaybee11 - My job is similar - if I go unpaid, my job isn't 'protected'.  In the past, they've let people go up to 6 months and no one bothered them at all, but still... it makes me a little nervous, too, financial situation aside.

lest12

@wareagle1220 - DH is home during the day (works nights).

And my mom can't wait to get her grubby little hands on my kid, too (just kidding, obviously!)

Lakirat

I vote for working part time so you'll have some sick/vacation leave banked. If LO gets sick you may need to use that paid time off.

Luna C

I voted SS: First of all, this is such a personal decision and dependent on so many variables it's really hard for any of us to give you good advice.

However, I would caution you that splitting your time between home and the office to get those extra 7 weeks may actually be more stressful for you... You're probably not going to have a set routine with your LO before you have to change it to accomodate going to work part time. And esp. since you won't even have regular days/hours ... it just sounds like a situation designed to make you crazy. And then after those 7 weeks are over you'll have to do a new routine all over again.

Like I said, this is VERY personal and you may have to make the call once the baby is here. But to me, it seems like it would be smarter to do one or the other and not attempt to merge the leave/work time.

snowpants

Whatever you choose to do (and I think previous posters had good insights) I would reccommend keeping a decent amount of sick/vacation time in your bank if at all possible.  Your kid will get sick, you'll need to stay home with baby.  You'll want to have a day now and then to use for vacation to keep your sanity. 

I know it might not be possible but it's something to consider.  Good luck with your decision!

flerlgirl

For financial reasons I like either going back after 15 weeks, all FMLA/vacation, or working part-time from home. I will echo PPs and say that working from home, even part time, can be stressful with a newborn. I don't know what your job entails but if you have to make/receive calls, get projects done on a deadline, etc, it could be hard. Not to discourage you; just an FYI. Before I was laid off I had the kind of job that would easily let me work from home with a baby (not client-facing; all my work was done through email and I set my own deadlines), so you might have one of those, too. GL with your decision!

lest12

gabamafans said:

I voted SS - you mention that you have 12 weeks FMLA...are you 100% sure that it is paid?  Because FMLA does not guarantee paid leave, just that they will hold a job open for you.  I just did want you to plan for that and then be surprised if it is different.

I need to keep reading but I know it is not paid - company offers 4 weeks of paid time.  I have the sick time to cover that 12 weeks! 

lest12

Thanks everyone so much for the input.  I appreciate it.

I think if I trusted my boss more, I would feel better about it.  But she's a little nutty, and I don't completely trust that she won't create more stress for me while I'm working  than home than I care to deal with. 

I deal with tenants, but their accounting departments and nothing is face-to-face... I have great relationships with them and my internal departments, too.  I feel confident that I could keep things running smoothly in 15 hours a week.

I am not at all confident, however, in my boss' ability to leave me alone and let me just do my job... Or, for that matter, my boss or manager's ability to not contact me about a million other things, to not send ridiculous emails that are 911 when really they are not, and to not find ways to pile on other tasks that will make this more than 15 hours a week.

Also... this feels silly but maybe it isn't... my boss keeps mentioning that if we did this, maybe I would have to come in the office once or twice a month for whatever reasons.  I don't know why, but I really, really don't want to do this.  I don't want that obligation come the end of July, and every month between July and November.  I dread it.  Am I being silly or is that maybe warranted?

lest12

mullenem said:

I voted 15 weeks of no work.  I took 8 weeks maternity leave and was pretty ready to get back to work, though an extra couple of weeks would have been nice too.

That being said, if I could swing it with my job (I can't.) I'd love to do 8-10 weeks completely off then work from home part time for a few weeks, then go back to work full time.  I definitely wouldn't try working part time right away while on maternity leave.  Having some leave in the bank is always nice with a baby too.  I know that my DH could have taken time off with her when she was sick, but I always wanted to be the one home with DD, especially when she was BFing.

I get it. 

DH will be home when she's sick, but I don't care.  I know there will be Dr's appointments or times when the baby is really sick when *I* am going to want to be with her and will use a sick day anyway, even if he is home.

 

flerlgirl

@lest12, coming in every so often might just be part of the deal, you know? Since you are taking an extended leave I think it's reasonable for them to have you come in for a meeting or two. Plus your baby will be cute and all but you might not mind leaving the house for a couple of hours of kid-free time every once in a while

lest12

@flerlgirl - I have this notion that I'm NEVER GOING TO WANT TO LEAVE THIS BABY. Are you saying this isn't true? lol.

I'm kidding obviously but in general it is hard to wrap my head around how I will feel. I have never done this!

flerlgirl

@lest12, I totally get you! When DS was born I was all "Goodbye, outside world. I never want to be part of you again because wook at da widdle bayyybeeeeee." But sometimes getting out is fun! When you're with the baby you wish you could get a break, and when you get a break you wish you were with your baby. Prepare for the total mind-eff of motherhood!

lest12

Good looking out, anyway, thanks! & I've just been here a long time. Plenty of sick time, but not so much vacation time, if that tells you anything, ha!

@flerlgirl - Thank you! My mom said something similar. New territory can be so overwhelming though.

Thanks again everyone, I appreciate it. I'm going to think it over this weekend and talk to DH again. Wish us luck

Luna C

lest12 said:

I am not at all confident, however, in my boss' ability to leave me alone and let me just do my job... Or, for that matter, my boss or manager's ability to not contact me about a million other things, to not send ridiculous emails that are 911 when really they are not, and to not find ways to pile on other tasks that will make this more than 15 hours a week.

Also... this feels silly but maybe it isn't... my boss keeps mentioning that if we did this, maybe I would have to come in the office once or twice a month for whatever reasons.  I don't know why, but I really, really don't want to do this.  I don't want that obligation come the end of July, and every month between July and November.  I dread it.  Am I being silly or is that maybe warranted?

Ok, I'm revising my original answer a bit now based on this and the fact that I missed you were working from home. I worked from home (self-employed) for a year before I took this job, and part-time for several years before that. 

a) You will almost def. be given more than 15 hours of work to do. Bosses tend to look at how long project X will take, and call that your workload. They ignore the calls, meetings, emails, etc. 

b) "Come in now and then" will almost def. morph into "You have to be here every other Wed. for the staff meeting, and sometimes for [insert dumb reason]."

I loved working from home, but it is not free-time paradise it's made out to be. It can be very challenging and even harder to find work-life balance. Because when you're home all the time, it's very easy or work to bleed into hours that are designated as "non-work."*  

I'm not saying you shouldn't do it -- I plan to work from home again once I'm off leave -- but it's something to consider as you make your choice. 

* For a personal example of what I mean about difficulty scheduling: I would wake up and check email during breakfast, do a load of laundry, handle client emails, run some personal errands and grab lunch, come back and work on a project, take calls, start dinner, do the dishes, and then wrap up whatever loose ends I had from my workday. So while I never worked more than 6-7 hours in a day, I was in a "work mindset" from 7 am to 8 pm., and it was exhausting. 

There's something to be said for jobs where you leave the office at 5 and you don't think about work again until 9 the next morning. 

kittenslove

I voted part time. I would change the no work from 4weeks to 6 though (FTM, just advise given to me because I am working out a similar situation with work. In fact, my boss said don't consider less then 6, and think up to 8. Not sure if that would work for you though). She is also working to have a plan in place now, so people will know when I am available, and when they should not expect me to answer emails. I am leaning towards this as I too am the only person who does my job, and I can monitor remotely and make sure nothing gets too screwed up without me. But I have a nice position where I don't get stressed too often, so that is a consideration (you want to enjoy your time). If you work from home, will you get other perks too? For instance, if I work part time from home, they are going to pay for my internet and cell phone for those months. So, in addition to the working from home/adjusting to work/baby and no $ loss, there is a finical incentive.

lest12

Luna C said:

lest12 said:

So while I never worked more than 6-7 hours in a day, I was in a "work mindset" from 7 am to 8 pm., and it was exhausting. 

This is what I want to avoid. I think I need to find some way to set limits with this if it's going to work at all. I think a few posters said it, but maybe I should extend the leave only period from 4 to 6 or even 8 weeks, depending on how it changes the total time off. I might not feel as overwhelmed by it 2 months in, you know? Thanks again!