s/o DH and bathtime

wesleycrusher

I didn't want to hijack @stephcarter's thread but @piffle42 brought up bath time.  Does your DH give your LO a bath?

DH won't give DD a bath alone.  We have to do it "together."  If she needs a bath at night and I mention it at dinner, I'll ask if he can give her a bath but he says "no, *we* can give her a bath."  So I'll run the water, but he'll get her undressed, put her in, wash her, and sit on the floor and play with her and then have me hold the towel to get her out, then he'll take her and get her dressed. Basically- he does EVERYTHING but for some reason won't give her a bath alone.  I usually end up sitting on the toilet playing games on my kindle, or going in and out putting laundry away but staying upstairs. 

If DD doesn't get a bath, sometimes she'll shower with us and DH has no problem doing that on his own.  

I don't understand it.

stephcarter

Don't apologize for hijacking!!! The more threads the better. I love chatting with all of you. DH will give her a shower and take a shower at the same time. But we have a pretty big step in shower. I think the step is about 3 inches high. He will block the drain and she splashes a bit. She's more interested in walking around and putting the foam letters all over though.

When she was an itty bitty, I made him help me if I brought her in with me. I was terrified of holding her while she was wet. I kept invisioning her slipping right out of my hands.

Usually when she's all cleaned up DH will call me to come get her out though so he can finish up his shower. I think he just hates getting her dressed. She's squirmy, quick, and loves being naked. Lol

BabyCarryingVessel

Yep, he gives baths alone all the time, but I'm there to catch one with a towel and dry hair, brush teeth and put on diapers and jammies. They love baths, but I'm not a fan of giving them, so this is one area where H steps up, thank goodness!

chricast

My husband will do it if I ask him too. He will usually forget to do something after the bath like lotion, ear cleaning or brushing her hair... Sometimes he forgets all 3 things.

Rachelilly23

I think DH has given DS2 a bath maybe 3 times total? He's mostly responsible for bathing/showering DS1 and I take DS2, so the bath/bed time responsibilities are mostly even. When we only had one child, we just alternated bath and bed time jobs so we each got a break one night. Recently we started bathing the boys together, so one parent bathes one night and the other does the next night. However, he always gets DS1 ready for bed and I always get DS2 ready for bed (diaper/pull up, PJ'S, teeth brushed, book.)

LorMor

DH loves bathing LO, either with her, or watching her. When she was tiny, we showered with her, and he didn't like that so much, so I did pretty much all the showers. I'd say he does most of the baths.

wesleycrusher

chricast said:

My husband will do it if I ask him too. He will usually forget to do something after the bath like lotion, ear cleaning or brushing her hair... Sometimes he forgets all 3 things.

my DD doesn't have enough hair to brush!

LorMor

chricast said:

My husband will do it if I ask him too. He will usually forget to do something after the bath like lotion, ear cleaning or brushing her hair... Sometimes he forgets all 3 things.

Oops. We do none of these things. Ever. Sometimes we brush her hair for shits 'n giggles.

chricast

LoL guys. Emma's hair will dry sticking straight up or looking all funky if I don't comb it out. It can also get knotty.

morrkim

I do most because usually h is at work, but if she needs one during the day h will. I sometimes take her in the shower with me. H completely refuses to shower with her.

chricast

Am I the only one that thinks it is weird to shower with your kid? Maybe it should be my fffc or uo. Maybe I'm weirded out by naked bodies... as a nurse who used to see naked people all day I shouldn't be. The one time I bathed with Emma I put my swim suit bottoms on! I forget why I had to get in the tub with her but I wasnt comfortable being totally naked.

StefanieM522

My H does bathtime once a week, but he hands him off after the bath, so I do diaper, lotion, brush teeth and pj's. We have never showered with wesley and I think it is because our shower is so small.  How do you shower with them (sorry if this sounds dumb) do they just stand up next to you or do you hold them while showering.  I think sometimes this will be way easier then a bath some nights but I can't figure out the logistics of it.

@Piffle42 I feel sad as well when Wesley only wants daddy instead of me when I do the majority of his care.  Hugs.

pb_bride

Never occurred to me to shower with DS.  Seems odd to me.

DS gets bathed 2x/week. I do one (mid-week) and DH does the other (usually Sat).  When DH does the bath, he does everything by himself.  Sometimes I clean up the bath toys/towels etc when DH puts lotion on.  

For those of you whose DHs aren't pitching in, I think some of their excuse is simply being unsure of themselves (and they don't want to admit it).  My husband was scared to give DS a bath by himself at the start... since his is on the weekends, at the beginning I would be there physically to help, but over time, I come up with excuses that I can't be there (eg, need to prep dinner, or need to do laundry etc), and he gradually gained the confidence to do it all by himself.

Rachelilly23

I don't shower with DS1 but DH does. The one time I tried to DS1 looked at my pube hair (he is mostly eye level) and said "is that POOP?!?!" And that was the end of that.

lady dixneuf

yes he gives him a bath all the time! He loves it!

My h is a great parent and will do anything with his kids. 

lady dixneuf

RVASC811 said:

Also I work a couple evenings a week and then he does dinner, bath, bed all himself. Maybe my FFFC is that I think it is kind of sad that this puts him in a special class of dad. It should be normal!

I agree!

My H was also a single dad for a while (with my SD) so that  helps. 

scrumpfy

MH does most of the baths. Sometimes I'll come get her and towel her off and put on jammies. He'll also shower with her on occasion. I won't. I feel like I'll drop her. She's so wiggly and slippery.

stephcarter

I don't mind showering with her at all. Maybe in a year, but for now it's all good.

navyandviolet

Dh is the bath master for all the kids. He has done such a good job since dd was born that I am still uncomfortable with giving an infant a bath. Dd is old enough now the she prefers I help her though.

CnAnA

Husband does baths about half the time. Up until recently she WOULD NOT let me bathe her. That was Daddy's job, period.

I do get in the bath with her sometimes, but she starts getting pinchy trying to figure my boobs out. LOL

nealbl

DH gives both girls baths sometimes and sometimes I do it. We each have chores that we both do more than the other but at times we have to step on and do each others chores. Bath time is mine but he def does it sometimes

navyandviolet

RVASC811 said:

navy&violet said:

Dh is the bath master for all the kids. He has done such a good job since dd was born that I am still uncomfortable with giving an infant a bath. Dd is old enough now the she prefers I help her though.

Aw. My H asked the other day when I thought C would think she was too old for her daddy to give her a bath.

It is really inconsistent. She will still run around the house in her birthday suit. Yet baths make her feel more vulnerable.

Wally3

OUr typical routine is - DH is "in charge" of bath so he does both boys.  I pick up "get the room ready" - he puts pjs on LO.  I nurse LO and do story and prayers then do story and prayers with ds1. I will shower with LO during the day if he needs it.  When we get back from beach or pool all boys (DH,DS1,2) all shower together. THen I help get them dress and then shower by myself.

pmduggan01

DH gives DS his bath every other night, and that includes lotion, combing hair, diaper and PJs. He's been really hands-on since birth. His dad was always traveling for work when DH was growing up. He doesn't want that for our son and is really quite the active dad.

We haven't tried showering with DS since he HATES getting water in his face -- this is even a challenge when washing his hair in the tub. Plus, the shower that would be best for it is in the basement, and it is cold down there.

LexiSophie55

My husband refuses to bathe him.  I think he feels weird cleaning him.  It bothers me and I've tried to address it, but he puts up a huge fight.  He will play with him in there, but that's it.

Don't worry - this can't go on forever and it won't.

Sillygirl85

My husband and I split time with LO or do it together. We both work, so we enjoy spending every minute we can with Elijah when we get home. We bathe him together and then DH does bedtime. We use to have an every other night system for bedtime, but then Elijah decided that he wanted to sleep in my arms not his crib. But apparently he prefers the crib over my husbands arms.