Any foster parents?

MaybeMommies

Hi all, I can't say I've ever actually posted on here but I've lurked for years (different username). I notice a lot of people ttc but is anyone fostering? My gf and I are in the process of licensing and it's a total drag and by drag, I mean holy crap it takes that long to sign a piece of paper?! I would love to get different perspectives on fostering as a same sex couple. I have this huge fear bio parents or even case workers are going to be put off by us (I'm in TN..not very same sex friendly). Any experience?

GoaliesWife123

I would suggest @Trisholio and @trisholiosboi. They are licensed and wonderful people!!

trisholio

My wife and I are foster parents.  We got licensed in December, it took us almost 9 months to get our license.  It felt like a pregnancy in many ways.  We have not gotten a permanent placement yet and only had one respite placement.  We are licensed up to age 12, but we are specializing in ages infant to 5 years old.  So far we have not been treated any differently then any other couple would be treated.  During our training we were concerned about people being rude to us or treating us differently and we had nothing but great experiences so far.  We are concerned that some bio parents might not be as accepting of us, but we haven't had to deal with bio parents so far.  We got lucky that the baby we have in respite right now is being taken care of by his aunt, who is also a lesbian.

I am happy to answer any questions about our experiences during the licensing process.  Best of luck to you and your partner, its not an easy process.

MaybeMommies

We're going on 7 months for licensure. We've had our stuff completed and turned in since before thanksgiving. We've received a couple of emails saying they're sending the home study to our RD by the end of the week...it hasn't happened at the end of any week in over a month. We haven't had any issues with DCF staff. I'm a therapist so they love us (boohoo free services! ) but the other potential parents in our impact classes weren't amused. They wouldn't even speak to us and often completely ignored our existence. I think that's partially where my concern comes from (aside from the typical discrimination the South so lovingly provides) because they were so obviously against our becoming parents. We're open to 0-5 up to 2 kids, 3 if need be. I'm so anxious and excited but already sick of the hurry and wait notion of the state.

Baileyhugs

My wife and I have been trying to go through the process of becoming foster parents since last year. I live in Ma and have contacted my local DCF agency both by phone and email.. No one get back to me. There are so many children in the school I work with alone that are constantly being removed from their homes overa me over again by the department. I feel for the kids who have parents with priorities other than their children. I actually got custody of one of my students when he was 5 and he lived with us for over 10 years. When he turned 15 things turned bad and he ended up in and out of placements for PTSD and trying to hurt himself. Apparently there was something that triggered his memory of living with his mom and he was overcome by the feeling of being unwanted. He eventually left us because he did not want to follow our rules and said he would be better living with his "real family" (who had abandoned him) It took a huge toll on us both... The boy we called our son basically told us we were not good enough anymore and walked out of our lives. But fostering is definitely rewarding to both the family and the child. Children (unless taught differently) don't care if you are gay or straight. They just want to feel loved, wanted and to belong.