Birth Plan

FutureMrsW9

I know it's kinda early to start thinking about this, but there are several non-negotiable things that I've already thought about that I'd like to put down on paper so I don't forget about them.  Does anyone have any good birth plan charts or forms that they've used or plan on using as a guide?  I've seen several online, and I'm sure my m/w has one, but I'm super thorough so I want to make sure I'm capturing everything, even if it means combining a few different formats.

Unknown

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supgabs

The bump has one that's okay. I filled it out for funsies and felt like I had to elaborate on a few things. Try google too.

rmjones15

I had one when I was pregnant with ds, but almost none of it worked out. I'm kind of hesitant to write one again, just because if things went like they did with his birth, it will be useless.

FutureMrsW9

shiggybop said:

The only non-negotiable for me is getting my baby out safely. **ew that sounded really sanctimommy of me. It's great to have a plan, but know that things can deviate from the plan and it's important to keep that in mind so you aren't disappointed if this aren't "perfect".

I'm totally with you and agree - you def need to have contingency plans!  My non-negotiables are more related to after the birth with visiting and whatnot.  DH's family is very, um, hands-on, for lack of a better word vs. me who likes her space and privacy....so there needs to be rule in place so that certain people aren't allowed to just waltz into my room at any given time.  This is more of the stuff I'm talking about.  As far as actual birth, if I go natural I want that epidural!  Other than that there's not much I would ask for other than getting baby out safely. :-)

lifeisbetteronthered

I'm curious about what you consider "non-negotiable".

I thought an episiotomy was non-negotiable for me, but when my baby's heart stopped as she descended my birth canal and crowned, I would have grabbed the scissors myself if they asked. When the doc tried to tell me my options I told him not to waste his time & to just do what was needed to be done. Thankfully nearly 1 year later I have an episiotomy scar, memories of a dramatically fast forcepts delivery & the resus team working on my daughter... And a beautiful, perfect little girl who is going to celebrate her 1st birthday next week.

Write down your "hopes", but be cautious about getting too obsessed with your "plan". Sometimes your body & your baby have plans of their own.

Healthy baby, healthy mommy... In that order. That's my plan.

GolfWidow001

My birth plan: get that baby out of me as safely as possible.
I didn't have a plan with my first, but after that I realized that a BP would have been completely pointless. What will happen, will happen. The docs and nurses will know what they're doing.

FutureMrsW9

TomW&JennD said:

I'm curious about what you consider "non-negotiable". I thought an episiotomy was non-negotiable for me, but when my baby's heart stopped as she descended my birth canal and crowned, I would have grabbed the scissors myself if they asked. When the doc tried to tell me my options I told him not to waste his time & to just do what was needed to be done. Thankfully nearly 1 year later I have an episiotomy scar, memories of a dramatically fast forcepts delivery & the resus team working on my daughter... And a beautiful, perfect little girl who is going to celebrate her 1st birthday next week. Write down your "hopes", but be cautious about getting too obsessed with your "plan". Sometimes your body & your baby have plans of their own. Healthy baby, healthy mommy... In that order. That's my plan.

As I mentioned above, it's more things for after birth, such as visitors, alone time for attempting breastfeeding and such.  I'm not so much concerned with the actual birth, my m/w will do what she feels is best for actual L&D and I trust her. 

Also, I'd rather not start giving my thoughts about my birth plan, I'm simply looking to see if anyone has seen any that they liked the format of and/or cover a lot.  One of my good friends didn't do one with her first, but she did with her second and said it was the BEST thing she could have done and will def do one for each future baby.  I have seen hers, as well.  Obviously, it did include contingency plans if things started to go wrong and her wishes needed to be changed.

curlylocks3

Are you talking about what happens on the postpartum floor? Or in the delivery room post-delivery?

FutureMrsW9

curlylocks3 said:

Are you talking about what happens on the postpartum floor? Or in the delivery room post-delivery?

I actually don't even know the difference at this point.  I haven't had a hospital tour yet, nor has the process been explained by my m/w.  My guess is that I'm referring to postpartum.

tbmadeamistake

I had a birth plan for my daughter, in simple bullet format with labor, delivery and post partum separate into their own headings.  It was that simple.  I gave it to my OB/MW ahead of time and the put a copy in my file.  I brought a copy to the hospital with and honestly no one looked at it.  I was very go with the flow, so maybe that's why, but it seemed a waste.  The only things I feel strongly about, much like yourself it seems, are the post partum ones.  I wanted at least an hour of skin to skin time immediately after the delivery, prior to the gel in her eyes, and I wanted to not cut the cord until it stopped pulsing.  Those were about the only things I did get, but it was perfect nonetheless. 

I definitely think simpler is better, and bullets rather than paragraphs.  Keep it as short and simple as possible and more people will be willing to read it, especially  nurses moving from one patient to another. 

curlylocks3

FutureMrsW9 said:

curlylocks3 said:

Are you talking about what happens on the postpartum floor? Or in the delivery room post-delivery?

I actually don't even know the difference at this point.  I haven't had a hospital tour yet, nor has the process been explained by my m/w.  My guess is that I'm referring to postpartum.

Ok well generally speaking, birth plans aren't really something you turn in to a postpartum nurse. If you're concerned about visitors, you can likely just let your nurse know you want no visitors or whatever. Or ask if they have a do not disturb sign you can put on your door. When you do your hospital tour you'll learn about visiting hours, any restrictions on visitors (#, age, etc). You may find your hospital has a few hours set aside during the day for no visitors to promote family unit bonding. 
You (or your H) may have to be the bad guys though and enforce the boundaries you feel comfortable with. Be clear with your expectations with family ahead of time and be firm when you tell them the visit is over. Good luck. 

ElTrain5

Would it be ok if we all just agreed that we all want healthy, safe babies? I feel like it's repeated a lot, and it just seems like something that is just a given.  Who doesn't want a safe delivery and a healthy baby? Nobody I would think....

Edit: To elaborate... when people say "Do you want a boy or a girl?" and people answer "I want a healthy baby!"...isn't that not an answer? An answer would be "We don't really have a preference" or "Boy".  Same thing with the birth plans.... wouldn't your answer be "I don't have a plan or written preferences." instead of "I just want a healthy baby!".....I mean.... the only time "Healthy baby" is really an answer is when the question is "Do you want a healthy baby, or a sick baby?" or "Would you like an unsafe delivery, or would you prefer a safe one?" 

Everyone wants a healthy baby and a safe delivery.  Birth plans can help people to understand your preferences and wishes.  i.e. "We signed a waiver to not have gel in her eyes, please see our file" or "I would like to give the baby a bath myself".  And of course, some people go overboard, and some people feel like failures whenever anything goes wrong...but that doesn't mean writing these things down is not a good idea.  Nurses are not mind readers, and just because you discussed it with your OB or midwife, does not mean they will know/remember just because its a note somewhere in your chart.  It can be very helpful to have things written down. 

 

lclark79

rmjones15 said:

I had one when I was pregnant with ds, but almost none of it worked out. I'm kind of hesitant to write one again, just because if things went like they did with his birth, it will be useless.

This was me too. I handed copies to everyone. Annnnnnd it all went to shit. So I'm not doing one this time. I've definitely learned that you need to go with the flow with regard to labor and delivery.

ElTrain5

All that being said... one of my pregnancy apps on my phone has a birth plan template, so I'm using that for now, just to easily jot things down as they come up (this is also the app I record questions to my midwife in).  I'll probably just type it up later.  Do you have any apps that have these? I find it nice because it's always on hand so I can edit/delete things.

momof5sept18

The best chance of a busy L&D nurse reading a birth plan is making it short, sweet, and to the point. They have lots of mommas in labor to tend too and lots of babies to help with. And I'm sure many birth plans on their desk from each patient. The simpler and shorter the easier to remember. Thats just my opinion. I'm not doing a birth plan. My doctors know what they're doing and if they did what was best to help me and my first LO make it through delivery alive, and they did great with LO#2s delivery I definitely trust them with LO#3

ncbelle

I disagree with the notion that birth plans don't matter.  Sure, things may not go as expected.  But one of the biggest purposes in creating a plan is to educate yourself about your options so you aren't trying to make a decision while in the middle of labor. If you know the pros and cons ahead of time, you can make a rational decision instead of getting pressured into something.

OP - There are tons of templates out there.  I found the Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth a good read as far as figuring out what all the things I should consider were.

ElTrain5

I'll chime in again to add I highly suggest having a C-section plan, and going over this in detail with your doctor.  If it's important to you, a lot of doctors will allow "gentle C-sections" which include things like immediate skin-to-skin contact, having leads on the back instead of the chest to allow for breastfeeding/skin-to-skin, IV on non-dominant hand, etc.  Here is a link to some suggestions:  Again, this is something you'd have to go over with your doctor in advance to see what they will be able to accommodate, but it's something to think about, for both planned C sections and emergency ones. 

https://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2012/09/18/a-family-centered-cesarean-birth-plan/

FutureMrsW9

ElTrain5 said:

All that being said... one of my pregnancy apps on my phone has a birth plan template, so I'm using that for now, just to easily jot things down as they come up (this is also the app I record questions to my midwife in).  I'll probably just type it up later.  Do you have any apps that have these? I find it nice because it's always on hand so I can edit/delete things.

First off, thanks for your post!  That's more along the lines of what I was thinking when I say "birth plan" - things like I don't want baby fed formula, breast milk only, I want to bathe baby, I want skin to skin right away, I want DH to announce boy/girl before the doctor does, etc.  Not necessarily "do not give me a c-section even if both me and baby are going to die without it" - that kind of thing is absurd.  Really just a list of preferences.  What's the app that you're currently using??

ElTrain5

FutureMrsW9 said:

ElTrain5 said:

All that being said... one of my pregnancy apps on my phone has a birth plan template, so I'm using that for now, just to easily jot things down as they come up (this is also the app I record questions to my midwife in).  I'll probably just type it up later.  Do you have any apps that have these? I find it nice because it's always on hand so I can edit/delete things.

First off, thanks for your post!  That's more along the lines of what I was thinking when I say "birth plan" - things like I don't want baby fed formula, breast milk only, I want to bathe baby, I want skin to skin right away, I want DH to announce boy/girl before the doctor does, etc.  Not necessarily "do not give me a c-section even if both me and baby are going to die without it" - that kind of thing is absurd.  Really just a list of preferences.  What's the app that you're currently using??

The one I like the best so far is "Pregnancy ++"  I think it's British, as the birth plan suggests "gas & air" :)

MississippiCatfish

My hospital has one on their website to fill out - maybe yours does too.

I will probably fill it out a little, with things that are important in helping me cope but not necessarily non-negotiables. Things like: I'm aiming for an unmedicated birth, as long as it's safe. I don't like to be stroked or massaged by anybody other than DH. Please don't ask me questions during contractions (couldn't believe they all did that!!!). Please remind me to get up and move around if the baby's not in good position or to breathe through contractions if I'm overwhelmed. Please reassure me that what I'm going through is normal (I spent a lot of my first labor thinking everything was going wrong. Some things were, but I also worried about things I shouldn't have).

That's not my actual list, just things I would contemplate putting on there. As an RN, I think it's nice when patients give me a glimpse into their needs (without going overboard). I'll keep mine to a five or six point list.

ETA: I realize you weren't asking for suggestions of what to put in your birth plan:) just joining in the discussion about plans!

flerlgirl

Go to hospital. Lay on table. Ask DH to tell me knock-knock jokes during c/s. Meet baby. Go to recovery. Eat all the ice chips. 

xnbride

Birth plans are more for your birth partner who will act as your advocate during labor and delivery. So your DH should read it, understand it and be able to advocate for your desires when you are in the midst of labor and afterwards.  For instance, he may know that you want skin to skin directly at birth so when you are a bit out of it and they start taking the baby to the table to wash/inspect/weigh the baby, he can gently say, "she would like to have an hour of skin to skin time so that she can breastfeed before washing the baby etc" That is just an example of course.  Or if you have a particularly pushy nurse, he can run interference for you. When I am labor, I go very quiet and really can't speak but my DH is very good at advocating for me because he knows what I do and do not want. 
It also helps to have a good practitioner because nurses will do things according to how your practitioner likes them to be done. So if your practitioner is really into interventions then they may be more inclined to push those things on you. If your practitioner is more hands off then the nurses will be too. Who you choose as a care provider is very important. If you find someone that shares your views then you really won't need a birth plan.
I had an OB for my first DS and even though I had a birth plan, they really didn't follow any of it. Meanwhile, I had a midwife for DS2 and DS3 and I didn't need a birth plan because it was unnecessary because she shared my views on birth and the hospital staff respected her and treated me like royalty.

MrsCase1

flerlgirl said:

Go to hospital. Lay on table. Ask DH to tell me knock-knock jokes during c/s. Meet baby. Go to recovery. Eat all the ice chips. 

@flerlgirl my ob let's you eat as soon as you want to post-partum. No waiting to fart, etc. Love her!

flerlgirl

Mrs Case said:

flerlgirl said:

Go to hospital. Lay on table. Ask DH to tell me knock-knock jokes during c/s. Meet baby. Go to recovery. Eat all the ice chips. 

@flerlgirl my ob let's you eat as soon as you want to post-partum. No waiting to fart, etc. Love her!

I need to find this magical OB you speak of. 

hscoggins

My birth plan is to not have a birth plan.

My husband's birth plan is to request an epidural and refuse pitocin unless absolutely necessary.

MamaTree17

I had one for my first that I didn't actually give to anyone at the hospital but my husband. I just used a simple word document with bullet points of things that were important to me. I came up with things continually throughout my pregnancy that I added. For us it was more about being educated and making sure my husband knew what to push for if I wasn't able to. Some things ended up being standard practice at my hospital (hep-lock in lieu of IV) and others went out the window (episiotomy) but overall I felt like I knew what was going on and was involved in all the decisions which I think is the main point.

FutureMrsW9

Mrs Case said:

flerlgirl said:

Go to hospital. Lay on table. Ask DH to tell me knock-knock jokes during c/s. Meet baby. Go to recovery. Eat all the ice chips. 

@flerlgirl my ob let's you eat as soon as you want to post-partum. No waiting to fart, etc. Love her!

This is awesome!  My m/w actually said they let you eat BEFORE birth, which I was kinda surprised about because all I've ever been told is that you get ice chips only.  They also let you eat after, too, she told me to have DH waiting with an Italian Sub haha!

FutureMrsW9

@joules235 said:

Sometimes an epidural necessitates pitocin...

Really???  I want to avoid pitocin as much as possible - I've read to much on the negative side effects it can have on both mom and baby.  Plus I saw how my SIL reacted to it when they induced her - it wasn't pretty.  That said, I do want an epidural....but now you have me thinking.

FutureMrsW9

@joules235 said:

@joules235 said:

Sometimes an epidural necessitates pitocin...

Really???  I want to avoid pitocin as much as possible - I've read to much on the negative side effects it can have on both mom and baby.  Plus I saw how my SIL reacted to it when they induced her - it wasn't pretty.  That said, I do want an epidural....but now you have me thinking.

The epidural reduces the abilities of the nerves to propagate muscle reactions and pitocin increases that ability so they kind of work against each other. I think avoiding pitocin is a great idea and with an epidural there is no guarantee you would need it but usually women don't get just one intervention. One solves a problem but may create others that require more interventions to solve subsequent issues. Also delivering on your back is the most difficult position to deliver it.

I didn't even know there were other options unless maybe you did a water birth to deliver in any position other than your back!  Who knew!  That's why I'm def glad for these boards sometimes :-)

Edit: changed bitch to birth LOL interesting typo

MissBHaven1024

I used the pdf from TheBump and found it very helpful. It was nice for me because I felt like it was very thorough and even lists things that I hadn't initially thought about. While for me, at the end of the day, the "plan" is to deliver a healthy baby by any means necessary, a birth plan is nice so that your OB/midwife and nurse know of your wants and desires and can keep them in mind! I plan on using this same template for this birth. Hope this helps!

https://images.thebump.com/tools/pdfs/birth_plan.pdf

MissBHaven1024

FutureMrsW9 said:

Mrs Case said:

flerlgirl said:

Go to hospital. Lay on table. Ask DH to tell me knock-knock jokes during c/s. Meet baby. Go to recovery. Eat all the ice chips. 

@flerlgirl my ob let's you eat as soon as you want to post-partum. No waiting to fart, etc. Love her!

This is awesome!  My m/w actually said they let you eat BEFORE birth, which I was kinda surprised about because all I've ever been told is that you get ice chips only.  They also let you eat after, too, she told me to have DH waiting with an Italian Sub haha!

Before my labor really got started (water was broken, but contractions hadn't really taken off), my midwife recommended that I eat something, so that I wasn't miserable once labor really began. I enjoyed a chicken caesar salad, and then 20 minutes later, the contractions started. I was glad though, because I wasn't starving during my 12 hour labor. I also was allowed to eat immediately after delivery as well. It was great!

ncbelle

FutureMrsW9 said:

@joules235 said:

@joules235 said:

Sometimes an epidural necessitates pitocin...

Really???  I want to avoid pitocin as much as possible - I've read to much on the negative side effects it can have on both mom and baby.  Plus I saw how my SIL reacted to it when they induced her - it wasn't pretty.  That said, I do want an epidural....but now you have me thinking.

The epidural reduces the abilities of the nerves to propagate muscle reactions and pitocin increases that ability so they kind of work against each other. I think avoiding pitocin is a great idea and with an epidural there is no guarantee you would need it but usually women don't get just one intervention. One solves a problem but may create others that require more interventions to solve subsequent issues. Also delivering on your back is the most difficult position to deliver it.

I didn't even know there were other options unless maybe you did a water bitch to deliver in any position other than your back!  Who knew!  That's why I'm def glad for these boards sometimes :-)

And this is the real reason it's great to write a birth plan!  It kinda forces you to research the options - pros and cons - so you can make a more educated choice about how your birth goes and not agree to something that comes with side effects you'd hoped to avoid.  Of course, sometimes things are unavoidable - but you want to know your options going in!

If you are interested in birthing in other positions, it's good to be upfront with your provider about that - and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself about what you feel most comfortable with!  Make sure you have an advocate at your birth as well - whether that's your DH, or a doula, or someone else - someone who can help you process decisions and remind you of your wishes (because it can be tough to think in the midst of labor).

anordstrWed114947

My plan is no plan but some requests. No forceps, skin bonding right away, breast feeding, daddy wants to cut chord and no eye gel right away until we bond and get a few shots of her.

That's my short and sweet.