How do you feel about fathers taking their kids to the doctor

Vol4life

Usually I am take DD to all her appointments. On the rare occasion I can't get off work or DD is OOT with someone MIL or my Mom takes her. DH took DD to urgent care this morning, more than likely is bronchitis again. I would have taken her but I am hosting a babyshower and have some last minute things to take care of and go decorate. DH has never taken DD alone to the doc, he goes with me when she gets shots but that's about it. My Mom is trying to guilt me for not taking DD. I want DH to be comfortable doing this sort of thing on case I am ever OOT and he is flying solo. Imean do feel bad about not taking her bit DH is more than capable. If this was something more serious like a broke limb or cracked head I would absolutely gone.

WasNotWas

What?

Vol4life

Am I in the wrong for sending DH and not me or is my mom crazy?

WasNotWas

He is a living breathing human being who is the father of your child, right? I don't understand the controversy

studyinpink

It's totally fine that he took her. I always took dd1 when she was very small but DH has taken her multiple times on his own now.

I just tell him to remember to ask something specific if I'm concerned about it and off they go.

You are right. He"s a parent too and he should be able to take her if you are busy or unable to. As long as you are both comfortable with the decision she needs to butt out.

klondikebar

I always take the kids because I SAH, but I wouldn't have any guilt about DH taking them if the opportunity came up. That's just ridiculous.

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Vol4life

I think my mom feels that it should be my job to take her and that I didn't have my priorities straight today.

WasNotWas

Is it your moms job to set your priorities? I know this is sounding bitchy, but I don't understand why she gets an opinion on the matter. The important thing is your kid saw a doctor, beyond that it's not her business

littlemermaid

Your mom needs to get out of the 1950's. 

studyinpink

Vol4life said:

I think my mom feels that it should be my job to take her and that I didn't have my priorities straight today.

Ugh. That's ridiculous. He's her father and can take her to the doctor. She needs to back off.

That pisses me off for you. We create enough mommy guilt for ourselves. You don't need other people trying to guilt you into doing what they think is best.

I really feel like it's none of her business.

Vol4life

She al

WasNotWas said:

Is it your moms job to set your priorities? I know this is sounding bitchy, but I don't understand why she gets an opinion on the matter. The important thing is your kid saw a doctor, beyond that it's not her business

I don't usually listen to her. She is passive aggressive and always throws her 2 cents in no matter what.

theseaword

DH takes him as much as I do. We take turns taking off work. Your mom is whack.

Vol4life

ThisIsBrea said:

Yeah. Ignore her. That is the most absurd thing I've heard today.

ThisIsBrea said:

Yeah. Ignore her. That is the most absurd thing I've heard today.

If I had more time and wasn't mobile I could come up with more. My mom can be a peach at times.

Chichigo

I think your priorities were fine. Dads should be equally involved in medical, as schedules permit. My cousin has a more flexible schedule than his wife, and usually ends up taking their kids to unplanned doctor appointments. He usually earns major AAWs too, since it's mostly women at the office.

ReeseFox

Your mom is crazy.

angelashly

mbenit4 said:

I am surprised this was his first time. We have two so we divide and conquer a lot.

Mine has never taken her by himself. He has come with me, but my job is the more flexible one so I take her.

I would have no problems sending just him its just never worked out that way.

Vol4life

We have signed consents for anyone who has DD that isn't with us to get medical treatment for her. MIL and my Mom have taken her OOT without us and we would rather be covered than something happen and be in a pickle. We have put my mom andMIL on DDs records at the doctor in casewe aaren't available

LuckyDad

Men should sit in the drawing room, smoking cigars, and avoid children and women's work.

WasNotWas

So if it was so important to your mom, why didn't she take her?

jak554

There is nothing in parenting a child that only the mother can do, except breastfeeding.

missyishere

DH takes DD any chance he can; time off work and alone time for me is a win-win.

jorkz821

I'm usually the one to take them bc my schedule is more flexible. But he's taken her to urgent care alone before. Nbd. Side eye to your mom.

LoveActually4

I always take the kids because I'm an anxious control freak who needs to hear from the doctor's mouth that the kids are ok. mH also cannot get paid time off for appointments.

MH would take the in a second if I couldn't, I would have no problem with that if I couldn't be there (OOT, sick, etc).

klondikebar

Vol4life said:

I think my mom feels that it should be my job to take her and that I didn't have my priorities straight today.

If my DD had to miss out on a prior commitment to take her LO to the doctor while her H sat home and watched tv, I would not be thrilled. You'd think your mom would be happy that your DH is an active part of his family. He's taking care of both of his girls by taking your DD to the doctor which allows you to fulfill your obligation. I mean, wtf to all of this.

lazysusan

My DH takes the boys when it makes sense for him to.  We both work but he's a bit more flexible.  I'm in the medical field, so I like to ask a lot of questions.  Dh doesn't always get all the details I do, but he gets what's important.  In fact our oldest had some serious hospital stays a few years ago.  I went home to get some rest, and while I was there Dh had a huge conversation with the neurologist about the course of our child's care.  Doc actually wanted to change meds, and DH convinced her otherwise.  Great decision!  I trust him  

Monkeybabe

My H has only gone to one dr appointment, but only because he works when they happen and I SAH. If she needed to go to and I was doing something else and he was available, I'd be pissed if he didn't take her

Disneygeek77

I probably take them to more sick visits because I SAH, but I usually try to schedule their well check visits on his days off so we both can go.  However, DH has taken DD to the dentist more than me.  

Please don't listen to your mom.  I have a feeling her remark is more about her own issues anyways. 

quidditchcapn1120

I think I have taken DS to the doctor once and it was while I was on maternity leave. DH has taken him every other time because he has a more forgiving schedule.

What is the problem with fathers taking their kids to the doctor? They helped make the kid, you know, they can help take care of them too.

PrimRoseMama

I don't understand the issue. You knew where she was & got an update ASAP right? Personally, if my kid has to get to the ER or urgent care I don't care who takes them as long as they are seen.

s0ulchicken

DH is taking all 4 kids to the dentist on Wednesday, by himself. He has PTO, I do not. I "handled" the last appointment solo, so now it's his turn. I don't feel even a little guilty that he is taking them while I work.

thetheisens

So having your MIL or mom take her isn't weird, but your dh taking her is weird? He should be equally responsible for her as you. I can't believe this is an issue to anyone.

Soxgirl07

I take them because my work, daycare, and the dr are all in a ten minute area and I have a teacher's schedule so it makes more sense.

Aside from that logistical stuff, the only reason I'd be more suited to take them is sometimes I nurse after shots.

I'd much rather DH take them than my mom!

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randomsalpal

Whoever is available to go, is the one taking the DC.  Hopefully, the doctor is trained to their job even if the "right questions" are not asked.   

missyishere

Tl;dr most of this thread.

Monkeybabe

Maybe things vary a bit, because I don't sign anything when I go to my GP, or when I take Z to well checks at the pedi. We've never has a sick visit, so I can't speak to that. My mom does have to be an authorized care giver to take Z to any appointment, though.

klondikebar

WhoCanItBeNow said:

You have to sign off on consent to care every time you go to the doctor even if there is nothing "invasive" involved, correct? Correct. Every visit to urgent care, my GP, OB, or DS to his pedi for a well child visit or sick visit requires 2 signatures- one for consent to care and one for financial responsibility. A non-legal guardian can't sign either of those on your behalf on without written consent. And isn't your plan a grandfathered one that still has a copay for well child visits? So those aren't free either.

I am genuinely curious about this. I signed the new patient forms which include financial responsibility and consent for treatment, but never at each appointment. That goes for both of my specialists, pcp, dentist and the kids' pedi. Does it vary by state or something?

Monkeybabe

The questionaires seem fairly standard, given what I've learned from my BMB. My pedi does not do them, though.

littlestjerry

I don't think I've ever made a list of other people that can bring him in or anything, but no one else besides DH or I ever have. I like the idea behind the well visit questionnaires because half the time, DS starts into some meltdown and I can barely hear myself think yet alone have a normal convo with the doctor. Of course, we still talk about milestones, but I feel like the doctor can give the sheet a once over and know already if there are developmental issues. 

I just have to add that if someone implied that I was basically lying about my job and that all I really do is answer phones and open mail, I'd be quite defensive. 

WasNotWas

For serious?