1st Trimester

Were anybodies parents/IL's not thrilled with the announcement?

We are telling my parents tonight and while they will love the baby, their reaction to me being PG will not be the best. They think we should buy a house first, DH should finish grad school.. and none of that can be done with a baby.?

I know I can't control their reactions but it kills me to tell people that I know will not be thrilled. Anybody else have parents or IL's react less than thrilled?

Re: Were anybodies parents/IL's not thrilled with the announcement?

  • When we told my grandmother she said she wasn't ready to be a great-grandmother again...!!  But my sister has a 5 yr old and was happy for her but not for me..
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  • My best friend thought the same, told her parents, and they were THRILLED

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  • We haven't told yet but I'm nervous for what my parents' reactions are going to be, lol.  I don't know what to expect from them but I know that my IL's will be over the moon excited.
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  • I'm sorry. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised, though. Our situations can always be better and more perfect for having a baby - most of us wouldn't be here if everyone waited for things to be just right, right?

    I'm expecting my professional friends to be very disapproving when we tell them, since they'll think I just killed my career; but that's nothing compared to unexcited parents. Best wishes for your announcement!

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  • If I get a "thrilled" reaction I will be giddy!?
  • I'm sorry that you have to deal with this.  In my opinion, if you wait until you are "ready" for a baby you could wait forever.  There will always be bills and things you will want to accomplish before a little baby arrives.

    Congratulations--as long as you and your husband are happy, that's the only thing that matters.

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  • Well this was an "opps" pregnancy.. so it's taking everybody by surprise.?
  • I really thought my mom and stepdad were not going to be happy at all.  They lectured me at my wedding about not rushing in to kids right away, and saving up and traveling and spending time with each other first.  They've also commented in the past about how our house is way too small for a family and they hope we wait until we can afford something bigger before kids.

    So I was really scared to tell them that we were pregnant a month after our wedding.  They suprised me by being really happy and excited though!  All they talk about now is the baby and it's like they've completely forgotten about all those conversations they've started about waiting.

    I wouldn't be too worried.  I think you'll be pleasantly suprised by how excited they end up being once the announcement is made.

  • My MIL was not thrilled when we told her about dd (going on 6 years ago!) She lived out of state so we didn't see her until dd was 4 months old. At that point it was love at first sight. I will say she did try to be involoved with the pregnancy some and now is a wonderful grandmother. I think it was just a shock to her at the time. DH and I were young (22 and 24) and we had just gotten married.

    Anyway, it worked out well in the end.

  • My parents responded better than we thought, but I wouldn't say thrilled. The first thing my mom said was "Wow, you didn't wait long. You just bought a house in July", followed by "You better start saving for college now. Do you know how much diapers and formula are?!". So, not quite as badly as we thought, but every time I talk to her she has something negative to say "You're going to be stuck with this kid for the next 18 years", "Guess you guys won't be doing anything fun for a while", "Hope you don't gain too much weight". Luckily the ILs are thrilled :)
  • My pregnancy was a huge oops and I was POSITIVE my parents would be upset.  I couldn't have been more wrong-- they were completely thrilled and get more excited every day.  GL-- you might be surprised!
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  • My parents and in-laws were all thrilled, but my grandmother was who I was dreading sharing the news with.  She is fairly young (only 71) and very active - and she told me over the summer that she was too young to become a great-grandmother and that I shouldn't have kids yet! (I've been married for a few years, own my own house, and am established in my career - so she had no "good" reason to say that.) 

     When I told her, she actually was happy for me - she didn't actually say "congratulations", but she was happy to talk about it.  I was surprised! 

     Good luck!  It's no fun when you feel that loved ones aren't completely supportive. I'm sorry that you have to worry about this. 

  • Our parents were shocked more than anything, like as in couldnt speak for 10 minutes. ?We were at a restaurant and the waiter looked very uncomfortable. ?They are now thrilled but we were so adamant about not having kids until DH was done with school that the news completely blindsided them.?
  • Hi Cindy!  My dad looked like he was going to puke.  He said congrats, but really looked bad.  A few days later though he has gotten excited about it.  He just worries - would have liked DH to be done with school and had f/t job.  All of our school loans paid off.  But I told him, so would we, but that is why it is called a surprise, haha.
  • jnk- aren't these surprise pregnancies fun? lol I just keep getting thrown for loop after loop!?
  • I got mixed reactions. My mother knew I was trying to conceive and ensure me that I probably don?t need more then 3-childeren, I had some words for when this was stated. ?laughs- After I conceived on the first time she was very happy and cried.

     

    My father was very happy.

     

    Grandmother, uncle, brother were also very happy and worried about the difficulties I may have.

     

    Step-brother has a huge crush on me for many years; so he was very pissed. ?laughs-
  • My in laws are never thrilled about anything, so I hardly expected a grand response. ?They acted as excited as they would have if we told them any good news.?
  • I thought my mom would be less excited than she was. I thought she would think that we are too young (27 & 28), but she was thrilled (and the knitting-for-grandbaby began almost immediately!)

    I hope your parents surprise you!

  • My grandmother literally rolled her eyes and walked away. When she came back in the room a few minutes later she said, "So what does [DH] think about this?" as if I had tricked him into it or something. I replied with "This is exactly what we wanted, and we've tried a long time to get here. We are both thrilled Gma, just as I knew you would be. Thanks." Again, she just walked away.

    Now (only a week later) she's getting excited. We had dinner with the whole family last night and she wanted to sit next to me, and was asking me questions the whole evening. 

    Even if you don't get the initial reaction you may be hoping for, they'll come around. Don't worry too much about what people say/think right away - you are happy to be starting your family, and thats whats important.

    Congratulations!

  • My grandma said, "So what do YOU think of this" to my husband right after we told them. I wanted to cry. I hate to tell people it was an accident... but since I work with kids and love babies it's assumed I forced the issue. I that.?
  • my MIL always said she wasnt ready to be a grandmother and that she was too young. ?but, you know what... its not up to her! ?when we told her she was really happy and changed her tune saying she was happy and ready to be a grandmother.

    ?

    try and let it go. ?there is never a perfect time to get pregnant and its really up to you and DH.?

  • To say the least my mom was not all that thrilled. The first thing she said to me was "That's not good..." But now shes coming around. When we told everyone at the family christmas, they asked how she was and she told them, "At first I could have thrown up, but now I know it's a blessing and I can't wait!"

    That was good to hear... but when you've lived my life (married at 17 and pregnant at 19) you come to expect a bad reaction at first.

    Congrats to everyone!

  • My MIL wasn't thrilled, but I wasn't expecting a great reaction from her.
  • I had mentioned something about being pregnant before we were to my IL's (this is our 4th) and my mother in law said "oh my god, could you imagine if you were that would be horrible!!" So I was definately apprehensive about telling her when we actually were. But surprisingly she was thrilled for us, she still thinks we are crazy for having four, but she's happy for us. So even if your families initial reaction isn't what your looking for they will probably come around. And honestly if you wait for the "perfect" time to have a baby, nobody would have one. Good luck!
  • To me, I don't think there is any accident pregnancies. Everything happens for a reason and maybe you got PG so you and your DH can prove to your parents/IL that even with a baby, you can still buy a house and finish Grad school. It may take you a little longer, but it is so very possible. I have a lot of friends that have done that. So don't let anyone tell you you can't do something. Even if they are your parents. It's a different time of the world and there are so many resources out there now (unlike bake in the day). Be proud and excited about your upcoming new addition and just tell them that you'll still be able to do these other things. There will just be a few adjustments.
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