Trouble TTC

How do you deal with... (bfps mentioned- not mine)

mamaheatherlmamaheatherl member
edited December 2013 in Trouble TTC
the mental/emotional side of TTC? Some days it's hard to believe we're at this point... it seems like a cruel joke, after spending so many years on birth control trying to prevent pregnancy, and how so many people we know weren't even trying but are pregnant.

My facebook feed is filled with pregnancy announcements and newborns (hence why I've stopped checking), and I'm so happy for my friends that are expecting, but sad for me that it hasn't happened yet. I know I need to stop comparing myself to others, and that every journey is different.  I'm trying to keep myself from becoming bitter, but some days it's easier said than done. I was wondering if anyone else has strategies or ideas for how to keep this from consuming my thoughts, or how to feel better about the process in general.
Me: 29, DH: 29
TTC since: 2/13
Long, anovulatory cycles
Began fertility testing 12/13
Ultrasound and bloodwork: Everything looks good (according to my ob/gyn)
HSG: waiting to schedule
SA: scheduled with RE for 1/6/14

Re: How do you deal with... (bfps mentioned- not mine)

  • @heaterlynn you poor thing, we've all been there. 

    MY NUMBER 1 ADVICE-shut down the facebook, i tell these girls this all the time. ESP, bam! right when you wake up and see your fb! heres a pee stick in your face, or an ultra sound !
    you can do it temporarily though settings, and it just takes you off fb, then when you are ready you just sign in like normal, and everything is back the way it was. 

    its SOOOO nice not seeing those pregnancy announcements
    or pictures of newborns. >:)

    how to deal with the mental/emotional side?--you will always have us girls on 3T who know exactly what you are talking about, it helps to have someone who knows exactly how you feel and has been there herself, its also good to have a good support system on your own, whether its a friend, a mother, your husband, or your doggie :) --some of the girls on here see fertility therapists, or psychiatrist/psychologists and have a support system with them as well. 

    it helps to take a mental break every now and then, go to a movie, or a walk. give you're self time to deal with the pokes and prods. some of the girls on here meditate, or do yoga, or run. . 

    we normally have days on here like TP (throatpunch thursday) and its a chance to vent whats going wrong with your life, and who you'd like to throatpunch. lol 

    IF is on my brain, all day everyday so i dont have advice to keep it from consuming your thoughts, but maybe changing up your schedule? driving a diff way to work, trying new restaurants, or like a ceramics class? idk. . im not very good at giving advice about avoiding IF lol 

    just remember you are NOT going through this alone, and were all here for you. . 
    feel free to message me if you'd like :) 



    image
    DH= burn vic, abn sa MFI|| ME= PCOS, Sarcoidosis, Hypohyroidism HSG-OK
    tried naturally 2011 & 2012-
    TTC with nurse practitioner 2013
    2 clomid cycles- both bfn, started seeing RE 2013 
    FEBUARY PLAN-HSG|| March Game plan-FEMARA IUI+TRIGGER 
    MARCH-BFP (beta1;104-beta2;302)-bc of hsg
    [[all welcome !!!!!!!!!!!! ]]
    image
  • I didn't shut down my facebook, but I did block my friends who were being absolutely OBNOXIOUS about their BFPs and pregnancies. Like, the friend who had every single post about "babywatch 2013" or the couple who announced with a full photoshoot. *gag*
    IF is a crappy situation to be in. I found that accepting that I was going to feel bitter and jealous actually made me feel better. Letting yourself feel crappy is kind of liberating because I just don't think there's any way to avoid it. As soon as you let yourself feel those feelings, the quicker they will pass and you can concentrate on what you need to do.
    {Me:27, Dx:PCOS, LPD, & rob(14;15)}
    {DH:31 all clear, "super sperm"}
    Ecstatically married July 30, 2011--TTC since Jan 2013:::Baby #1 due 9/11, Conceived on cycle #5 of Femara + Hcg + IUI
    ~Love and Light to everyone~ 
    image image
    My furbabies--Mr. Bubbles and Miss Kitty <3
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker  

    image image
  • Loading the player...
  • smart girl this one ^ ( @brittneyandadam ) shes right, accepting the jealousy and bitterness is part of it does help, my husband calls me a Grumpa-Lumpa when ive had an exceptionally bad IF day or someone not married, or a close relative gets pregnant, esp when its a baby daddy, fml lol 



    image
    DH= burn vic, abn sa MFI|| ME= PCOS, Sarcoidosis, Hypohyroidism HSG-OK
    tried naturally 2011 & 2012-
    TTC with nurse practitioner 2013
    2 clomid cycles- both bfn, started seeing RE 2013 
    FEBUARY PLAN-HSG|| March Game plan-FEMARA IUI+TRIGGER 
    MARCH-BFP (beta1;104-beta2;302)-bc of hsg
    [[all welcome !!!!!!!!!!!! ]]
    image
  • Some days are better than others. I'm sorry you are having a rough day. I've blocked a few and an debating whether to go to an upcoming baby shower. Also, check out unbaby.me. It will replace baby photos on FB and twitter with a picture of a cat.
    Me: 34 | He: 40
    TTC since 08/2012
    DX: DOR




  • i didnt even know that thing existed. lol. with a cat, hilarious >^.^<  !!
    Some days are better than others. I'm sorry you are having a rough day. I've blocked a few and an debating whether to go to an upcoming baby shower. Also, check out unbaby.me. It will replace baby photos on FB and twitter with a picture of a cat.




    image
    DH= burn vic, abn sa MFI|| ME= PCOS, Sarcoidosis, Hypohyroidism HSG-OK
    tried naturally 2011 & 2012-
    TTC with nurse practitioner 2013
    2 clomid cycles- both bfn, started seeing RE 2013 
    FEBUARY PLAN-HSG|| March Game plan-FEMARA IUI+TRIGGER 
    MARCH-BFP (beta1;104-beta2;302)-bc of hsg
    [[all welcome !!!!!!!!!!!! ]]
    image
  • Lol thanks @pcrumley ;-) I've thought about using unbaby.me, but there are some friendswho I am genuinely happy for and love seeing pics of their LO's
    {Me:27, Dx:PCOS, LPD, & rob(14;15)}
    {DH:31 all clear, "super sperm"}
    Ecstatically married July 30, 2011--TTC since Jan 2013:::Baby #1 due 9/11, Conceived on cycle #5 of Femara + Hcg + IUI
    ~Love and Light to everyone~ 
    image image
    My furbabies--Mr. Bubbles and Miss Kitty <3
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker  

    image image
  • Unbaby.me allows you to easily see the actual photo...just saying....
    Me: 34 | He: 40
    TTC since 08/2012
    DX: DOR




  • @ronniesgirl1981 you've totally sold me on it lol...guess what I'm doing when I get home...
    {Me:27, Dx:PCOS, LPD, & rob(14;15)}
    {DH:31 all clear, "super sperm"}
    Ecstatically married July 30, 2011--TTC since Jan 2013:::Baby #1 due 9/11, Conceived on cycle #5 of Femara + Hcg + IUI
    ~Love and Light to everyone~ 
    image image
    My furbabies--Mr. Bubbles and Miss Kitty <3
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker  

    image image
  • I feel like the anger/sadness/bitterness comes and goes. Some months/weeks/days I'm OK... others, not so much. Acknowledging that it's OK to feel however I feel has helped, as well as opening up to a few people. Also, just take it 1 day at a time. I never know which bfp, adorable baby, or Kleenex commercial is going to affect me which way, so I take them as they come.

     
    image
    TTC since 4/2012
    Started testing 5/2013: all clear, official diagnosis is "unexplained infertility"
    7/2013: first round of Clomid + TI
    8/2013: more bloodwork, low progesterone, low estradiol
    9,10,11,12/2013: TI + hcg injections 3,5,7,9DPO
    1/2014: Clomid + hcg trigger + TI
    2/2014: Clomid + hcg trigger + TI, natural cycle due to cyst
    3/2014: Clomid + hcg trigger + IUI #1
    4/2014: hcg trigger + IUI #1.2
    5,6/2014: on a mental/emotional health break
    7/2014: hcg trigger + IUI #1.3
    8/2014: first succesful IUI! (but no bfp)
    9/2014: IUI #2
    10/2014: hcg + IUI #3
    11/2014: SHG (fibroid not an issue)
    12/2014: Clomid + hcg + IUI #4
    1/2015: Clomid + hcg + Estrace + IUI #5

  • Thanks for the suggestions! For some reason, accepting that I will be bitter-jealous-upset and it being ok never occurred to me, but I think in some ways it might be comforting. And focusing on a hobby or my furbabies might be a good distraction too.

    And I might have to try out unbaby.me... sounds like it might be what I need for sure.

    Thanks ladies!
    Me: 29, DH: 29
    TTC since: 2/13
    Long, anovulatory cycles
    Began fertility testing 12/13
    Ultrasound and bloodwork: Everything looks good (according to my ob/gyn)
    HSG: waiting to schedule
    SA: scheduled with RE for 1/6/14
  • I didn't log off Facebook completely but I took the baby abusers off of my newsfeed so it's not in my face every time I log in. It really helped improve my mood.
    *** SIGGY WARNING ***

    Happily Married Since 10.2006  •  TTC since 07.2012
    HSG Good & SA mostly Normal  •  DX lean PCOS
    MAR - NOV 2013  •  5 Cycles Clomid + TI = 2 Late O's/BFN & 3 Big Fat FAILS
    DEC 2013 - FEB 2014  •  IUI #1-3  •  Femara 5mg + Trigger = 3 BFNs
    MAR 2014  •  IUI #4  •  Follistim + Trigger + Crinone = BFN
    APR 2014  •  Benched  •  BCPs to clear up Cysts

    MAY 2014  •  IUI #5  •  Follistim + Ganirelix + Trigger = BFP
    E.D.D. 2/18/2015
    6/11 +HPT • 6/13 BETA 447 • 6/16 BETA 1535
    6/23 U/S Adorable Little Bean • 6/30 U/S Beautiful Strong Heartbeat

    image

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