Sleep Training - HELP

CanukMam

So...LO will only sleep alone if he is in his infant car seat. It's been like this for months and months. We can walk/rock him to sleep and then put him in his car seat but we usually resort to walking his infant carrier with him in it to get him to sleep (he's 23lbs.....+carrier). The only other alternative is to let him sleep on/with us but that's pretty unproductive... It's pretty rough...

At night we co-sleep, we have since day one. He has never been a great sleeper, he always wakes up about every 1.5-2 hrs. If I'm super lucky I'll get a 3-4hr stretch at night but more often it is 1.5hrs or less.

We follow his cues and he has a pretty tight schedule: Wakes up 7:00-7:30, Naps by 9am, Noon, 4pm (Naps are anywhere from 30minutes-2hrs, typically about 1 hr) then bed by 7:30pm, once in bed at 7:30 (in his car seat) he wakes up about every hour and we pick up his seat and walk him back to sleep. He always wakes up at 10pm hungry so I feed him and usually take him into bed with me at this point since I'm going to bed. After that he's up every couple hours, at this point I'm tired and just want to sleep so I usually let him nurse back to sleep. It doesn't seem like he's eating much, just comfort sucking. He does typically want to Eat again by 2am though.

So, my question, I am starting sleep training today, he just HAS to start getting used to his crib. Do I just go cold turkey and say every nap/night time is crib from here on out.. or should I start with Naps only and continue to let him sleep with us at night? What would you ladies do?

lilbit0910

i am in the same boat as you ! i need to know how to get LO into her crib. She will not stay there. this co sleeping thing is killing me (

fireflyz56

I'm no expert, but going cold turkey worked for me. I stopped co-sleeping with DD when she was 3 months old, so I don't know if it might be tougher with the age difference. Honestly, it was harder for me than it was for her. The first night she cried in the crib for about 5 minutes before falling asleep, but she got the hang of it really quickly. By 4 months she was sleeping through the night and has been ever since.

CanukMam

chgibeau said:

I did cold turkey. We co-slept from birth to 3 months (a RNP next to the bed) and then bedshared from 3-6 months old. At 6 months we did CIO to extinction in his crib for night and naps. It was way easier than I thought it was going to be. (It wasn't easy, just easier than I thought.)

That's what I'm thinking of doing. Our problem is that once we get him to sleep, he doesn't transition to the crib at all. He wakes up and then stays up and there is no way to get him back to sleep. So my game plan is to try to get him to sleep until we are both too frustrated... then let him play until he's ready to go to sleep again. I mean eventually the kid will sleep and we just have to be persistent. I'm arming myself for a miserable week!

Lhyacinth888

That is tough. Do you think you could nurse him to sleep and then place him into his crib while he is still sleeping? And if he wakes up nurse him and put him back in the crib? I would probably start there. I would get him used to the crib first and still let him comfort nurse for a week or so. Then I would slowly cut down the times I went in to nurse aka be a human pacifier. My DD was the same way! When I started out it took me about an hour to have her sleeping and sucking and finally putting her down in her crib. I have slowly moved the time to less and less so now it takes about 15 mins to 30 mins to nurse her and have her ready to be put down. She sleeps so much better in her crib (we bed-shared at night til she was 5 mths and she napped in her swing). Good luck!!

CanukMam

Lhyacinth888 said:

That is tough. Do you think you could nurse him to sleep and then place him into his crib while he is still sleeping? And if he wakes up nurse him and put him back in the crib? I would probably start there. I would get him used to the crib first and still let him comfort nurse for a week or so. Then I would slowly cut down the times I went in to nurse aka be a human pacifier. My DD was the same way! When I started out it took me about an hour to have her sleeping and sucking and finally putting her down in her crib. I have slowly moved the time to less and less so now it takes about 15 mins to 30 mins to nurse her and have her ready to be put down. She sleeps so much better in her crib (we bed-shared at night and she napped in her swing). Good luck!!

We walk/rock or nurse him to sleep initially for naps, any attempt to put him in the crib wakes him up permanently, but for the night time routine that sounds like a good idea. Usually once he is out for the night it's hard to rouse him. I'm hoping the night time will be a bit easier. Thanks for the suggestion

CanukMam

jss1482 's post! I'm sure a lot of us are going through this now

fireflyz56

CanukMam said:

chgibeau said:

I did cold turkey. We co-slept from birth to 3 months (a RNP next to the bed) and then bedshared from 3-6 months old. At 6 months we did CIO to extinction in his crib for night and naps. It was way easier than I thought it was going to be. (It wasn't easy, just easier than I thought.)

That's what I'm thinking of doing. Our problem is that once we get him to sleep, he doesn't transition to the crib at all. He wakes up and then stays up and there is no way to get him back to sleep. So my game plan is to try to get him to sleep until we are both too frustrated... then let him play until he's ready to go to sleep again. I mean eventually the kid will sleep and we just have to be persistent. I'm arming myself for a miserable week!


From day one, I put DD in her crib at night awake once I know she is tired, turn on her mobile, lights off, shut her door halfway and leave the room immediately.

It never worked trying to put her in there asleep. By following our routine instead, she is almost always asleep in 5 minutes.

Nap time is a different story.

jss1482

Hang in there! I feel your exhaustion! fingers crossed you find what works for you

CanukMam

Round 1: Point Mama!

Tried nursing to sleep and let him sleep for ~hour, and laying down, no go

Tried rocking to sleep and laying down, no go

Sat next to the crib with my hand through the slats for about 15 minutes, no go...

finally left him to cry for 5 minutes, went back in and the poor little guy gave me the biggest hug when I leaned in. He wrapped his arms around me so tight and just went limp ( this is so much harder on us then them for sure

Hugged him for a little bit, layed him back down with my hand on his belly. He held my fingers for about 10 minutes and drifted off to sleep (for now)

jss1482

Aww! Yay momma! Fingers crossed for a successful night! !

CanukMam

haha, lasted 30 minutes, this is gonna be a long night

ToAoShesha

I was in the same boat... but my LO never slept!  She is slowly getting better.....
I nurse/rock to sleep... after about 10 minutes I slowly put her in the crib (on her stomach).  For the first little while for each waking I would nurse her to sleep and repeat.  Once she got used to being in the crib, I worked on rocking her to sleep (vs nursing) if it had been less than 4 hours. Then, finally I got to the point where if she woke up after the transfer I would let her CIO... I have a personal limit because I cannot let her cry alone for very long but luckily for me she has never cried longer than around 20 minutes... her longest time was 23 minutes.

You can tell if they are going to go to sleep because after awhile they get into a sleeping position and take longer breaks in between crying. 

This only works for us at bed time.... Naps are still a mystery to me   She does not transition easy into the crib during the day.. I have let her cry up to 25 minutes for nap and some days she is asleep by 20 min and other days I am getting her at the 25 minute mark feeling like an A hole. 

But I do think that working on it the way I did has really helped and I did it in a way I felt comfortable with.  And actually this week DH has rocked her back to sleep if she wakes up before 4 hours (which has NEVER happened... until now she would scream bloody murder, worse than if  you left her in the crib if anyone got her out but me).

I don't know if you feel comfortable with it but putting her in on her stomach has made a big difference as well.  Good luck

Lhyacinth888

CanukMam said:

haha, lasted 30 minutes, this is gonna be a long night

I hope things got better! The first few days are the hardest!

CanukMam

I ended up nursing him about every 3 hours (9:30pm, 12:30am, 3:30am, 6:15am), but he slept in the crib all night. We're battling reverse cycling I think, so I imagine he'll start to eat more during the day and start eating less and less at night (at least I hope).

It was like clockwork though, he would wake up and would just lay there crying. He wouldn't stand up or anything but he would just cry and cry with his eyes closed. After I nursed him, we put him back in the crib and he would lay there and whine a bit but eventually fall asleep with hubbys hand on his belly.

Side Note: I can't believe nursing every three hours = 4 wake ups, I must have been waking up 6-8 times a night before. 4 times feels like an awesome night!

Lhyacinth888

That sounds like a great start! 4 wake ups definitely sounds better than 6-8. I hope things keep getting better for you!!

Sarahbeth1169

This may not be something everyone will agree with but it works for us. Since about 6 months my son has been sleeping in his crib for all naps and at night. He slept in his swing or we co-slept until 6 months. He refused to sleep in his crib. I think for him the crib was to hard so I took a couple blankets and put them under the sheet so they couldnt go around him. This way he is laying on his sheet but its softer. This worked for us and he likes sleeping in his crib now plus he now sleeps all night. He use to be up every 1.5-2 hours. So maybe you can try this? Good luck. :-)

CanukMam

Thanks, I do have a blankie in the crib with him and I definitely find it does help. my LO has been extremely active since an early age, so I'm not worried at all.

He actually slept face down in the crib for about 30 minutes last night, I went in to check on him and he was snoring away