Sex fail :(

Ninjamama86

Today was 6weeks since my vaginal delivery. DH has been excitingly doing a count down, I have been anxiously awaiting. I haven't had pain for a while, just slightly tender - I did have a 2nd degree tear and an episiomity. I was completely honest with him about my fears, we used lots of lube and went slow - unfortunately DH still only got it about 2/3's in before we had to stop. It was very painful I was nearly in tears and told him to
keep going but he didn't want to hurt me so he stopped.

I referred to dr google, I understand post partum pain with intercourse is common, but I don't know what to do from here - do we just keep working at it? Or do I let it rest and try again in a week? Aside from lube and trying to relax (yeah right) any advise to getting back on this horse?

Eeekk this is scarier than losing my virginity (definitely hurt more too!)

desiree1988

No tips but I want to follow this..

I'm past my 6 wk check up and cleared for all normal activity, but I know this is going to hurt. To be completely honest I haven't let DH touch me down yonder yet.

[Deleted User]

I'm 11 weeks pp and the first probably 3 times we did it it was painful...I had an episiotomy and some stitches...then magically it stopped being painful a couple weeks ago...I don't know if it's just the scar tissue that had to stretch out or what? But I would just be gentle the first few times and hopefully it gets better for you soon!

Bootswtfur87

We tried to last Monday (I was 6 weeks) and had to stop too painful. Then I gave it another go two days later (on Christmas) at first it hurt but then it gradually got better. Not too excited at doing it again though feel like my drive isn't there. I think it is hard to get in the mood when you've had a baby on your boob all day.

JaysonandKristin

kellykinns said:

I know you said "aside from lube" but I found we needed way more than we thought we did... on him, on me, extra on standby... after the initial few seconds, it did get easier/more comfortable.  It DID feel different but the initial pain went away.  I will even say that the pain was in no way related to where my episiotomy was.  However if it's not working right now, there are other ways to be intimate, so you may just have to do that and slowly work your way back to the full deal.  Good luck, take it slow!

I agree with the bolded.  While I didn't have a vaginal delivery, the pain during our initial trial was internal, rather than upon entry.

Good luck.  Give it a few days and try again.  Really, though...  you HAVE to relax -- if that means some alcohol, so be it.  Just like with an internal exam, if you're not relaxed it ALWAYS hurts.  

barista411

My first delivery was really rough. I had a 4th degree tear, episiotomy, and labia hematoma. I would pretty much echo everything everyone has said above, lots of lube, being on top, and taking it slow. I would also add massaging the scar tissue with vitamin e oil. The oil really helps soften the scar tissue and help the skin regain its elasticity. I would say that each time got a little easier but it did take a while to feel back to normal. I am only 5 weeks pp and I am so nervous.

Kfran84

I had no tearing and no stitches and our attempt sounds exactly like everyone else's. It hurt like a biotch. I will try wine next time. Good suggestion! I forgot alcohol exists.

DH does not understand how a baby came out and yet now his peen doesn't fit in. It defies logic.

Amcabbott

Exactly everything you guys are all saying! We've only tried it twice since DS was born (10 weeks ago) but OMG, it hurt so bad! We have yet to finish the deed! I swear it just doesn't fit! Haha, I'm gonna try drinking a glass of wine next time we try!

Mum2Be28

Oh no! I'm sorry you had pain.

I was the opposite. I had a 2nd degree tear as well and was really worried that sex would be painful. We did it after my 6 week check up and instead of crying because it hurt, I actually cried because it didn't hurt! ***sigh*** I wonder if my vagina will ever be the same. DH said it was great and the same as it was before but I know he was lying.

3LittleBirds12

This is my biggest fear! I am going on 9 weeks PP, and still haven't done the deed.