Super annoyed...

LovinHowImLiving

On my husbands side of the family, both of my BIL like to badger each other and me about when the next baby is coming.  This has been going on for about 6 years now.  It has never really gotten on my nerves until Thanksgiving.  At Thanksgiving, they CONSTANTLY gave me a hard time about "having an announcement".  This was just weeks after my miscarriage, and we hadn't told anyone about the pregnancy or the loss.  I know they didn't know, but it hurt and struck a nerve.  One went as far as to say "I guess your husband can't perform".  

So we had Christmas with them this weekend, and I was totally prepared for the same crap.  We don't want to tell anyone for a while. We really have no clue when we are even due, so there isn't anything to tell anyway.  They were obnoxious about it.  Saying they know that we are pregnant.  Not real sure how they know. I don't even want to tell them at all. They have taken the fun out of it.  We probably won't see them until Easter.  I'm thinking about just keeping our mouths shut and letting them find out that way. I know its stupid, but it really was annoying.

Third&goal

It's hard once those jokes start to get out of them and hide them. At one point I think it helped to let them know about our loss and that immediately shut them up

Okiewife2011

I agree with PP. I would have told them about the loss and let them know that it hurts for the comments to keep coming with all the last few months have brought your way. This should stop the comments and hopefully make your announcement later down the road more meaningful to not only the family as a whole, but to them as well. 

LovinHowImLiving

It would probably be a good idea for dh to talk to them.  I know they would stop.  We just really didn't want to share about the loss.  Not really sure why... I'm not ashamed, I guess I just don't want to have to face people's reactions. Not to mention my mom and my MIL are worriers, and I don't want to deal with their worries on top of my own.  Maybe selfish, but PGAL brain hits me daily. I worry enough on my own.

Serenla

I'd have told them to shut the fuck up, but I'm an angry person.

kate6214

It has to be so hard to have them constantly badgering you. I have family members that were saying this kind of crap all the time. I initially didn't want to tell them, but finally had my MIL tell. This Christmas no one said anything and only his grandmother said I hope this year is better for you. Can you have someone else tell? Most people just don't know how to talk about miscarriage so they don't say anything at all.

SandSunBliss

Serenla said:

I'd have told them to shut the fuck up, but I'm an angry person.

Lol, this is why I love you @serenla. I thought the same thing. Esp when I read the like about your DH not performing. That was so over the line IMO. GL!

Skeemer

A swift hard throat punch usually lets people know where you stand. In fact, PM me their names & I'll take a trip to do it for you. Maybe just get a lot of women from this board to form a posse on your behalf. (I joke to make you smile but it seriously does just infuriate me to no end!!!)

I'm sorry, people are horrible jerks. Even if you never tell them about your pregnancy & loss you & DH need to tell them it is a subject off limits. Period. Once you bust a bully in the nose they'll never bully you again. Try to stay calm. But be very very firm. And if you don't feel like putting up with them at Easter just don't go. I didn't go to Christmas at my Grandma's this year because of the negative stuff she's already said about my pregnancy (It's too soon! Your body is going to be a mess! & crap like that). They suck & you don't deserve their idiocy. Hugs to you sweet lady. Everyone else can just shut the crap up.

Lkat17

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Comments like that are so obnoxious and inappropriate. No matter what! Infuriates me.

Third&goal

Although I do have to say that a good friend (guy friend though) got quickly put in his place after he asked about plans for #2 when I was recovering for a m/c last time around.  Surprisingly he asked again this weekend if there was a reason I posted on IG about an afternoon nap.  

Serenla

SandSunBliss said:

Serenla said:

I'd have told them to shut the fuck up, but I'm an angry person.

Lol, this is why I love you @serenla. I thought the same thing. Esp when I read the like about your DH not performing. That was so over the line IMO. GL!

Lol, love ya too. Seriously though, performance? Really like us and our husbands don't already have emotional baggage?