Baptism Drama Rant

Trgree1712

So at Christmas my husband and I asked my brother in law to be the godfather of our baby. We then told him that we are planning on asking my cousin to be the godmother. Well his girlfriend found out and is now calling the baby her goddaughter and saying how excited she is to be part of her life in such a big way. We have made it clear to her and my brother in law that she is not the going to be godmother. For several reasons such as she does not share the same faith we do, she is not a close friend or family, and they have only been dating for a few months. WTF!

cgoldian

What a nut job! She'll realize she isn't the godmother when she isn't the one standing up at church!

Rrrrrachel

Yeah she's crazy.

smushi

She may not realize the significance?

RebeccaY1

In our family the godmother/godfather is the same as the legal guardian in our will.  We picked a couple, not two separate people because it would be strange for our child to live in two separate houses.  I understand that this is not the case in many other families, so she might be thinking more about legal guardian rather than the significance of godparents in a baptism.

Trgree1712

Yeah she is a nut job. She also has major boundary issues and we have explained the significance of baptism to her.

Trgree1712

It's possiable she might be thinking of guardianship, but she is not married to my brother in law and we are not thinking of asking him to be a guardian at this time as he travels a lot for work and that would not make a great choice for guardian at this time.

JulianneJacks

To play devil's advocate- when I was baptized my godfather was married to a woman he later divorced. She was my godmother- but I haven't been in touch with her. My real godmother is my godfather's second wife. I just adore her. This person may not be part of your life for much longer but if your bil does marry her won't it be wonderful to have someone else in your life who loves your child? I think we will probably pick two people who aren't married to be god parents and their spouses will also play a special part in our son's life. I think when you pick a god parent you are also including their immediate family as part of your child's "god family."

 

It is psycho that she is saying she is a godmother now - when they are only dating. I'm just trying to point out the bright side.

scarles

Well if he is serious about this girl - she will be involved in the baby's life in a major way. My cousin is my godfather - but his first wife (girlfriend when I was born. They got divorced when I was about 19) was always the one who bought me presents, babysat, etc. Depending on how serious the relationship is - I see them as a package deal. If (god forbid) anything happens to you, your BIL wouldn't be raising your child by himself (hopefully). How long has he been with this girl?

MamaFantastic

i know this is a hijack, and i'm sorry!!

i am not Catholic and i don't understand the significance of godparents.  it seems different people interpret the term and the role in a few varying ways.  can someone give me a little primer here?

sugarrush

Yeah, thats a little odd that she thinks she is going to be called Godmother.  We asked my brother to be our baby's godfather and then he assumed he was picking the godmother.  I was like, huh? Uhh, no.  I feel your pain!

katiedidthat

MamaFantastic said:

i know this is a hijack, and i'm sorry!!

i am not Catholic and i don't understand the significance of godparents.  it seems different people interpret the term and the role in a few varying ways.  can someone give me a little primer here?

When it comes to catholic baptism the godparents are the people asked to stand up at the baptism who promise to make sure the child is raised in the church and to help keep the parents accountable for having the child attend mass, take communion, and remain in the church. They are spiritually responsible before God to make sure the child is raised catholic.
 For most other religions godparents do the same thing but aren't formally recognized the way they are in the catholic church.
 In non-religious senses most people do think of godparents as being the assigned guardians, which I think might be where this girl is going astray.  If she isn't catholic she may not understand that the spiritual godparents have no official role outside spiritual development. 

Trgree1712

If they stay together yes she would be part of our child's life. However, they have only bee dating for 3 months and we don't know her very well. The godmother we picked is my cousin who I am very close with she is like a sister to me.