Coping With Self Image During Pregnancy Body Changes

Sunny528

Hi Ladies,

I'm 18 weeks and 2 days along and this is my first ever pregnancy.  One thing I've been trying to figure out is how to cope with my pregnancy body changes.  Before getting pregnant, I was a healthy weight for my height...but it took me some time to get there as I had struggled with my weight for most of my 20s until becoming more health conscious and totally altering my lifestyle in the last couple of years.  How does everyone cope with the number going up on the scale, clothes fitting tighter, etc without feeling too bad about it?  I know that one must obviously gain weight when pregnant and that in the grand scheme of things, this is all just temporary.  For any moms having a 2nd or 3rd pregnancy...how long did it take you to lose the baby weight with your previous child or children?    

typeset

As you state: it's temporary. 

I lost 35 out of 40 pounds gained in the first two weeks postpartum last time and then struggled to keep weight on while breastfeeding. 

cmitch01

I look at pregnant women in bikinis and thank God I'm pregnant in the winter! There is no chance I would even feel comfortable in a bodysuit if it was summer right now! Hang in there- I feel ya!

Sunny528

Yeah, it can be challenging.  I don't care to look like a model or anything, just want to be healthy, plain and simple.  I do try to watch it with making sure I'm not having too many empty calories and trying to focus on nutrient rich food that is good for the baby and I try to exercise regularly...I agree that helps to make me feel a little more in control with everything.  Sorry to hear that you suffered from an eating disorder...but it sounds like you have recovered from it and have reached a healthy place.  I'm glad for you!

julesf817

what helps me to is look at myself naked in the mirror and just make myself appreciate what is going on. instead of picking myself apart like most of us women are prone to do. i try to look at myself as a whole. when i see other pregnant women i think they are beautiful, and so i'm trying to look at myself that way too. i had some rude comments made about how "huge" i am over the holiday by my in laws, and they definitely shook my confidence, but i'm trying to remember that they are just assholes, my doctor said i look great, my husband thinks i look great.   

remember that the number has to go up on the scale, those clothes aren't going to fit now, and it's ok. most of it is temporary, and all of it is worth it (or so i hear :P) everyone is different, so don't compare yourself to others when it comes to gaining or losing.  

 

ksyknelvr73

I really do understand how you feel - you and I are both at the same point in our pregnancies, however this is my second child.

Honestly, I really embraced the changes with my son....yes, there is a period where you just feel kind of "bigger" but not cute/pregnant with a cute belly (that's how I feel right now anyway), but it's temporary. I like to wear flowy shirts/dresses to help during that phase. Once the actual bump - where it's obvious you are pregnant - comes, it's much more fun to show it off (in my opinion). I love the way I look when I am obviously pregnant and I love not having to suck in for a few months.

I gained 53 pounds with DS1 and I lost it all. It took a while, so I won't pretend it just fell off (about 30 pounds came off within the first 5 months without me really doing much), but the last 20 or so took actual effort - diet/exercise and I didn't get back to pre-pregnancy weight until DS was 15 months old.

But honestly, now that I know I CAN lose the weight, I'm trying not to worry about it. I'd rather not gain as much this time if I can help it (my goal is 35 pounds tops, but we'll see). Just continue with your healthy habits and do the best you can.

momthatlifts

Ever since I got pregnant I became way less active than usual. I had a pretty small frame and liked it. When I'm feeling down I just remind myself that I'm pregnant. I knew this would happen before I got pregnant. It's only temporary like you said and I think we see ourselves way worse than others do...

runningyogimama

Honestly, last pregnancy I dealt with it by not ever looking in the mirror or having pictures taken of myself--and not looking at any that were. I've been in recovery from an eating disorder for about 6 years, and I have a lot of body image issues. I also never weigh myself at home and told myself that if I started to get worked up about it, I wouldn't look at the number at the dr's office, either.

I was small to begin with (in the middle of marathon training when I got my BFP) and I ended up gaining ~55 lbs the first time. I lost all but a couple of pounds by the time I got pregnant again at 6 months pp, although my hips an rib cage hasn't gone back to their original size. But I was back in shape and feeling ok about my body again other than the extra stomach skin and stretch marks.

This time, I'm not hiding from the camera, because I don't want to miss out on pics with DD. Also, while I still don't love my pregnant, fat body, I'm more at peace with it this time, because I've seen that it is temporary.

Good luck! If you ever need someone to talk to about it, someone here will always understand! The roughest time for me was actually the first month or 2 postpartum...I left the hospital in the same size clothing I went in in, even though I has lost 35 lbs. I was pretty down about my body for quite a while.

Mamazon2014

Struggled with morbid obesity and eating disorders and lost 100 pounds before pregnancy, then I got pregnant and was put on basically no activity for the first tri, and there went all the toning and hard work I spent.

I struggled coping with the body changes, especially the tighter clothes and feeling huge again, but it know that this time it is because I am growing a person within me and that once Mason is born, I'll be able to start doing the activities I enjoy and working on my body again.

Just remember that this is temporary and some changes are going to totally be worth it when you are holding your little one in your arms

RachelCA29

I find it really hard to feel sexy now that I am pregnant. I have a pretty small frame and my hips are a bit wider now, but the only place I am really bigger is my bump. I feel like all pregnant women are so cute when they are pregnant, but it's really hard to feel sexy. My husband keeps telling me that he has always thought cute IS sexy, but I get what you are feeling in that it's hard to look in the mirror and feel the same way about yourself as before the weight gain started.

Because I'm on the smaller side I was really nervous about gaining all the weight you are supposed to gain when pregnant. And in my first trimester I lost some weight because I felt so gross and was constipated all the time. But everyone has told me that was normal. Now that I'm in my 20th week and my appetite has picked up I am still nervous about being able to gain so much weight and then being able to get it all off afterwards. I have a few strategies:

1) Don't think about the weight gain as one big number. I just think about being 4.5 months pregnant that I still need to gain about 5-6 pounds per month until the end. That doesn't seem so daunting to gain and make sure the baby has everything he needs. And it also isn't that big, scary "20 pounds to gain still" number". It also makes it less scary to think about loosing it afterwards. If I can gain 5 pounds a month for 5 months, I can loose it that way too. 5 pounds a month doesn't sound that hard.

2) The baby and fluid account for a lot of the weight. When you deliver the baby, placenta and get rid of all that amniotic fluid you will already have lost about 15 pounds. Think about about that fact, even if the numbers aren't perfectly accurate makes me feel a lot better about the daunting "post baby weight loss" thing.

3) I've heard that shortly after delivery you will need maternity clothes because you will look about 4-5 months pregnant. Now that I am in my 5th month, looking this pregnant after labour isn't that scary a thought. It makes the post baby weight loss goal a bit easier to stomach

4) I've kept up my work-out routine as best I can. I'm not a super active person, but I walk my dog regularly and I do yoga 2-3 times a week. It's been freezing cold lately so the dog walking is lacking a bit (he's a tiny dog so even HE doesn't like winter walks) but I have kept up my yoga practice. It seems tiring sometimes,but I make myself go. And after every session I feel so great about myself for being able to stay active and being healthy and mindful while pregnant. My mom got my a Fit Bit for my birthday in November and I LOVE it! It's tracks your daily steps, active minutes and flights of stairs I climb. It really makes it easier to get a bit more active because I always want to get my steps higher and beat goals I set for myself. It motivates me to take the stairs more and if I forget something in the bedroom actually go get it right away because I want to log more stair climbs for the day.

5) I try to eat really well, and focus on pregnancy "super foods" so that when I get a bad craving and indulge, I don't feel guilty. My sister-in-lay lent me this book "100 healthiest foods to eat during pregnancy" and it breaks down 10-12 foods to try to eat a lot of during each trimester and months of pregnancy. I find it really easy to try to get 3-4 of those foods into my meals each week, and in general we eat pretty healthy meals and I pack lots of healthy snacks for in-between meals. Feeling positive about what you are eating makes me think about the weight gain a lot more positively, because to me it's healthy weight, and not just fat from eating junk food. It also helps to eat healthy so when you have a really big craving for french fries or ice cream you can indulge once or twice a week in those cravings because your other meals have been so good for you.

I hope that helps you through this time. I think we all can relate to the stress of watching our bodies change in such uncontrollable ways, and trying to keep perspective on the positive and negative sides of pregnancy.

Chellbell20

The biggest thing for me is remembering that I lost weight before, I can do it again. I lost 20lbs before getting pregnant the first time, gained 35, and lost 20 of that without trying. The other 15, plus another 10 I worked at the year before getting pregnant again. I haven't been as active as I'd like, but I already have a plan on what I want to do after baby is here and I can work out fully again.

Sunny528

Thank you so much ladies for all of the kind and thoughtful responses.  It certainly helps to hear everyone's different approach to how they deal with this particular aspect of pregnancy and it's comforting to know I'm not alone in how I feel.  I actually have not admitted that I feel this way to other people in my day to day life  as I feel I'll be judged or possibly be seen as superficial, when that's really not the case....simply trying to adjust with the changes.  However, I do try my best to stay focused on the positive which is that this is all for a good reason and is to help grow the life that I will be bringing into this world.

JAM85

I also had an eating disorder (bad enough to be in patient treatment for it) in my early 20's that I didn't really make large strides to over come until this past May which is actually likely how I was even able to conceive. And my body image actually improved when I got pregnant because I feel like my body is doing as nature intended and thus is beautiful. I still struggle
Mentally a bit with being paranoid about gaining too much weight. I lost 5# due to ms and I'm now 3# over PP weight but not one person has mentioned it even though the stupid BMI chart has me at over weight (I was into weight training PP and have a muscular medium-large frame). I catch myself thinking about after birth and losing weight but try to redirect my thinking to being healthy for baby AND me. I eat well and exercise and that is never an issue so I am learning to be more at peace with myself and not as judgmental and critical.

Kate070

mz628 said:

I suffered with an eating disorder in my early twenties - including being totally obsessed with the scale. I have coped, even before getting pregnant, by not weighing myself. I go by how my clothes fit and by how much crap I eat. If I'm eating lots of crap and my clothes are getting tight, I'll chill out on the carbs and stick to lean meats with veggies. Now that my clothes don't fit, I just try to eat mostly healthy and remind myself that I'm growing a human. That is way more important to me than my body right now. I remind myself that I'll eat healthy and exercise when baby is here. I still exercise now so that helps my confidence with the idea of losing the weight later on. It also makes me feel better right now. I see what my weight is at the doctor, but I've heard you can ask them not to announce it or to look away. If it does get too uncomfortable, I will look away. I hope that helps. It can be challenging for sure. XO

This.  I also struggled with an eating disorder in the past and have not weighed myself in years.  I just feel more comfortable not knowing; I imagine that I won't like the number, however healthy it may be, and don't even want to tempt myself into a negative line of thinking.  When I go to the doctor I stand backward on the scale and just ask them not to tell me.

Now, I head an organization aimed at offering support and resources to people struggling with body image.  Shortly after I announced my pregnancy, I posted the question on our facebook page: to those who had been pregnant before, how had it affected their body image?  I was thrilled to see that the responses were overwhelmingly positive.  Even if they had struggled during pregnancy, realizing afterward what their bodies had done had given them a new appreciation.  Here's hoping that's true of all of us.  It was wonderful to read.

cnbean

If one of the things that is causing some body image struggles is the way your clothes fit, buying some cute maternity clothes might help. I know when I wear my regular clothes they make me look fat, but if I pull out the maternity stuff it helps to highlight the bump. And that way you can't really compare the way clothes used to fit vs. the way they fit now. 

jntaylor11

I gained 50lbs the first time & was pretty huge. I lost it all by 5-6m although my body was different. It wasn't until I started working out consistently that I look like I did pp & felt comfortable again. By ds 1st bday I'd lost 60 lbs total & was smaller than I was pp.

Christinaruth74

I am definitely in this boat. The first tri wasn't as bad because with MS I wound up losing a few pounds (which was totally healthy bc I was a bit overweight to begin with). I wasn't active (bc of MS and exhaustion) but still felt relatively ok. Now that I am 18wks I have been really struggling. I'm still super exhausted and haven't been able to fully shake the MS, which hinders any desire for exercise. My eating has become so sporadic... Idk. I just feel like my whole routine is thrown off. Everything feels different and out of whack. I have this looming fear of gaining a crazy amount of weight because my energy/appetite for nutritious foods won't come back.

I think I'm done venting now. But I've definitely been crazy discouraged about my body image lately.

kit0429

I just packed up all of my little summer shorts, "skinny" jeans, and cute little bras and stored them under the bed. It was a slightly bittersweet moment!

I have struggled a bit with body image issues, and this is my first pregnancy.

Buying nice, stylish, cute maternity clothing has definitely helped. I've also tried to maintain some semblance of the work out routine I had pre pregnancy - walking/hiking, swimming, yoga, weights - which really helps my attitude at the very least. I have a fitbit also and I love how motivating it is to use. It definitely helps me get moving a bit more as I can track my metrics each day.

I've had a hard time with cravings for junk food that I normally can steer clear of. I'm gluten free and have been "cheating" occasionally with fresh sourdough or madelines. I try not to get down on myself and tell myself that baby isn't gluten free

Having my husband tell me everyday how much he enjoys my new ultra curvy figure and especially boobs really helps a lot too.

It also helps to know that the weight will come off and that, while some of those short shorts may never fit again, I'm ok with that because I'm making a beautiful baby boy.

And who knows, if I can curb my cravings for junk food just a bit and work out just a bit more, every little bit counts and makes a difference. Mostly I'm staying focused on being healthy and fit, not "skinny".

usernewname

As someone who has always been a little on the curvier side I have embraced the change. I've always carried my weight in my belly and have experienced those awkward "are you pregnant" questions when I wasn't. Now I can proudly say yes. I hope to have healthy practices post baby for myself and family.

MissLadyTay

I eat very healthy while pregnant to manage my weight gain worries. If I gain weight from fruit and veggies and whole wheat pasta, I feel like that is weight I "needed" to gain for the baby. But I don't indulge in a bunch of cookies and cake and junk, because in my head that's not what the baby needs anyway. Does that make sense? Don't get me wrong, I have the occasional treat. But I mostly maintain my usual healthy eating, I just increase the portions to get my extra calories. I feel better about weight gain that comes from healthy foods.

lauralou3x3

My body isn't changing too much besides little weight gain. What I'm having a hard time dealing with is stretch marks. I'm a smaller build and gaining normal weight....I'm starting to get the deep purple ones. On my thighs, outer legs, boobs and sides. It's depressing. The weight I don't mind because I can shed that.....this I can't get rid of. BUT I know my baby girl is 100% worth it. It's still hard to know you're body is ruined forever. Hang in there, you're not alone!

Divine0chaos

With my son I was very much not in a healthy state of mind. However after him I dropped 30lbs and was in better shape and healthier then I had ever been. Currently I'm keeping up healthy eating habits and my excessive routine. However there are times where I just want to take a break. Pregnancy is hard on our bodies and I have to keep reminding myself that. Also I can always loose it after baby! After all with my son I went from a pre pregnancy size8 to a size0 So no matter what keep in mind you can get your old body back . Just ignore the scale for now

asparagus95

Embrace the belly! For once in our lives, we get to be round in the middle so I say enjoy every minute if it. Definitely buy super cute maternity clothes, don't just buy bigger clothes and NEVER wear your husbands big t-shirts because you will look and feel shlumpy. There are so many options!

Is bouncing back after baby is born a challenge? Heck yeah, but what in life isn't? We are all due when the warm weather comes so it's a great chance to get out and walk the stroller with your newborn. Most importantly realize that you will, in all likelihood, not look the same but you could look even better than before-- some ladies get to keep the big boobs and curvy hips that come with pregnancy. Love yourself, eat good foods, and just take good care of yourself and everything will be just fine.

Sunny528

Yes, you guys are all absolutely right with keeping things in perspective.  I know that in reality that the weight gain from the pregnancy will come off...not right away of course, but over a few months.  My older sister who has the same body type as me went through 2 pregnancies...her first she gained 40 lbs and lost it all...and I think plus some as she was actually ended up thinner than before she was pregnant.  Her 2nd pregnancy she only gained 20 lbs and lost that all.  Today she is at a healthy weight for her height.  Her body is different from what I can see...she has a slight pooch, but it's actually quite cute  :P  I like everyone's suggestions with eating healthy foods and not feeling bad about gaining weight from healthy foods and to keep up the exercise routine in order to maintain some confidence about the future.  It's also good to think about the amt gained in terms of what you need to gain each month rather than as a big number...that makes it all seem less daunting.  Glad to hear everyone's suggestions...hopefully they will keep everyone positive during this time!

brittboll7

I gained about 70 with my first pregnancy- yes you read that right. I also have always been a sturdier build constantly yo-yo dieting for most of my life but through healthy diet and exercise (and an awesome cleanse) I was able to restart my metabolism and get down to less than I was pre baby right before this pregnancy. I'm just about hitting 23 weeks and everyone keeps telling me how great I look. (Dont know if i do or they are just comparing to last time haha) Healthy diet and exercise will keep you feeling great! I have started feeling that way a bit (especially as I just packed for vacation trying to squeeze into swimsuits and resort wear) but honestly in a few weeks your belly will really round out and you will enjoy your perfect bump!

JKTTC1

I lost all my weight very quickly while breast feeding! Plus I actually was smaller than before. Once I stopped fb after a year I gained a few pounds back but still was wearing a bikini when LO was only 6-7 months old!

I enjoy pregnancy (besides sickness) and know I'm growing a little baby! I find the changes to be exciting and somewhat sexy!