??'s for the Moms - Seperation (Giving Birth) Anxiety

mriandra

I posted this on the 3rd Tri board, but there were no responses.  So, I thought it would be better to hear from those who have already gone through this.

So, I'm going in for my C-Section tomorrow and all I can think of is how I'm not ready to no longer be pregnant. I'm going to miss rubbing my belly and knowing that my DC is there. I know that I should think of the bright side of seeing my DC but I am really feeling sad knowing that the time that we will be seperated is coming.

 How did you feel about this?? Any stories, tips will be great ;-)

Mjmksb04

Honestly, all anxiety I had about everything from the L&D process to the pain disappeared once I had the baby. You will be so overwhelmed with emotion and exhaustion the first few weeks, you won't even have time to think about this. Now at almost 6 weeks pp, I have had some thoughts of  missing being PG but before this week I was way to busy being focused on DS.

FutureMrsCaesar

I think most women feel a little sadness at over not being pregnant any longer at some point after they have their baby.  I think its part of the hormones going crazy and whatnot, so don't worry its totally normal.  For me I was so excited to not be pregnant any more for a few days (the end of my pregnancy was rough), then it hit me one day after we got home and I was so sad that I wasn't pregnant any more!  But there are so many other ways to bond with your baby once they are out!  Are you considering breastfeeding?  That is a great way to really bond with your newborn and feel like you are still nourishing them and doing something for them that no one else can! 

Plus part of what you are feeling could be fear of change.  You are comfortable with the baby where he or she is and you know you are taking very good care of him, and it is scary to bring a newborn home and be expected to instantly know how to take care of it! 

If you are still feeling a lot of seperation anxiety after a couple weeks don't hesitate to talk to your OB about it, they will be able to tell you what is considered normal at that point or if you need some further help with it.

LucyPevensie

I was sad at the thought of not being  pregnant anymore either - I loved it and i loved having the baby all to myself.  But truly - those feelings  are swept away by  your child's birth.  Seeing and and holding  your baby is  unbelievable.  You will also focus a lot of your energy on recovering - it will be a while before you even have a moment to reflect on your pregnancy  again - it's a whirlwind right  after the baby is born.  GL - you're gonna  do great!

KeepingItLowKey

Am I the only one who couldn't wait to not be pregnant anymore??

FutureMrsCaesar

No I was sooo ready to be done, but I still got sad a week or so later that I wasn't pregnant anymore.  I was like WTF!!  That's why I chalked it up to hormones

mriandra

Thanks everyone for the advice and your personal stories.  It's good to hear what others had to say about this.  I know part of my anxiety came from not wanting change and also a little bit of selfishness.  I'm glad to hear the tips on how breastfeeding my DC will greatly help with keeping that connection that we had before birth.  Reading your posts have greatly eased some of my anxieties.  

linzpinz14

Mjmksb04:

Honestly, all anxiety I had about everything from the L&D process to the pain disappeared once I had the baby. You will be so overwhelmed with emotion and exhaustion the first few weeks, you won't even have time to think about this. Now at almost 6 weeks pp, I have had some thoughts of  missing being PG but before this week I was way to busy being focused on DS.

Ditto all of this.  Most of the time I was just focused on DD and didn't have time to think about it.  I did really miss having her all to myself when I thought about it though.  And I loved being pregnant.  It was the one time in my life where I actually showed off my stomach instead of trying to hide it!  I can't wait to do it again!

afwells

I also had a scheduled C-section and was NOT READY to have my baby.  I wasn't that terribly uncomfortable (chalk it up to no contractions, no progress, and a tiny baby) and was scared about the reality of having a baby in my arms needing to be taken care of...you'd think after 40 weeks of pregnancy I'd have gotten that through my head that this would be the end result. 

So, I cried in the bathroom of the birthing room while we were waiting to go in to the OR because I was embarrassed that I was so upset and worried.

Then, waddaya know, there's a baby to take care of, and I just forgot all about pregnancy.  It was definitely a surreal experience.  I do tell everyone that percocet and breastfeeding are what made me bond with my baby (once I got my pain under control, I could really concentrate on her, and, well, breastfeeding as a way of bonding goes without saying).

 SO, my biggest advice:  take your pain meds and breastfeed. 

Jen0414

KeepingItLowKey:

Am I the only one who couldn't wait to not be pregnant anymore??

Me too!

mavs_girl07

I felt the same way as you.  I cried the night before my c-section for so many different reasons...I wasn't ready to no longer be pregnant, I wasn't ready to no longer have the baby inside of me.  I wanted to keep feeling her kicks and hearing her heartbeat and watching my dh's face everytime she moved.  I knew it would be better having her in our arms, but I was so sad knowing I wouldn't experience those things anymore.  I also wasn't ready to give her up to other people.  All that time, she was all mine.  I kept her safe and fed and warm and had her all to myself.  I hated the thought of sharing her with others.  But like pp's said, that all goes away once that baby is in your arms.  I think it's totally normal