Family more excited than I am

kahorstman

It's my first child and I'm not exactly as excited as the family and friends are. It's not that I'm not happy about it, it's taken some getting used to and I love kids and always wanted to be a mom, but I get weird looks when I don't show as much enthusiasm as family and friends think I should. It's been a difficult situation at best (bf is military and has to go to VA in February, I'm staying in Colorado till baby gets here, rocky relationship last 6 months, not planned, just moved across the country and got a new job...etc etc). Am I the only one who could care less about nursery paint colors and not a fan of being pregnant? It's boring for the most part and overwhelming...

Aholmes22

Not alone. This is my first. I've always wanted kids. Pregnancy and babies have always terrified me. I've been so sick it's impossible to be excited about anything. Ppl ask me about nurseries, names and registries, I'm sure the deer in a headlights look I give them shocks them. Lol. I think it will get easier the farther along we get. Less sick. Knowing the gender. Feeling the baby move.

MrsCase1

I think it is understandable to feel that way given the intense situations you are dealing with. When I was pregnant with Lincoln, our living situation was very complicated, and for however excited I was, my joy was completely robbed due to circumstances beyond my control. I do not really have fond memories of that time, just a lot of sadness. And, pregnancy is overwhelming no matter the best of circumstances. I hope you get some peace before baby comes! 

yayksimp

I think I'm more obviously excited than you --I do like looking at nurseries and mommy-baby stuff-- but I also dislike being pregnant and totally get where you're coming from. I'd probably feel just the same way if I were in as complicated a situation as you are.

Here's another secret: I'm not all that excited about having a baby. Having a CHILD, yes, but... babies aren't really my thing, and I'm not so excited about that part. 

aleksandra_irmina

That's tough. I'm not in a difficult situation like yours, but I can certainly relate to the lack of excitement. Part of it is fear of what's going to happen to my body, part of it is the thought of "losing" my life, habits, freedom, etc. I guess just fear of change in general.

I feel fat, lazy, sore and not really "pregnant" so it's hard to get too excited about that. That being said, I always keep telling myself that when the baby is born I will fall in love and it'll make it all better. I hear that's what's supposed to happen

JulieSmiles

I'm a FTM and I get how you feel. I'm not dealing with a difficult situation like you, but I've had a hard time dealing with being pregnancy. I hurt. I'm tired. I'm sore. I don't feel pregnant, just fat. I'm worried about all the changes that need to happen in the next five months plus after that. It's hard to feel super positive when you are dealing with all of this. My family is all really excited and I just feel, "meh." about it. I hope that we all feel better about it in the upcoming weeks and months.

kahorstman

Thanks! At least I'm not alone. Bf has been stepping up big time minus trying to make me eat food I don't like (I hate green beans) and talking about having lots of kids, of which I told him I don't like being pregnant now why would he think I'd like to do it again. I'm excited for the baby here and being able to play with it. Baby with high school sweetheart is hilarious enough...

verydisgruntledpelican0091

Not alone at all! My mom cried because I'm just not over the hills in joy. It could be because the majority of the time I feel like absolute crap.
Im glad I'm not the only one.
I had the biggest TANTRUM because my skinny jeans got too tight... In the ass lol I was just getting on board with my belly growing but now my ass is starting too.
DF's mom called me a mini Kim Kardashian. Safe to say I almost broke her hip lol

amackattack

There is nothing wrong with what you're feeling! Your situation is difficult and pregnancy brings so many challenges. It's challenging to our relationship when we can't do all the things we used to do together.

 I really feel like the guy just plants the seed and then continues to party for 9 months. They don't understand that from day 1 everything changes for us, we can't drink, we're very tired, we don't want to go out and stay up with people who are drinking, we're supposed to get more sleep and eat well and relax. H just really doesn't get it and it makes it very hard.

elsa1688

Lcgroenewe said:

There is nothing wrong with what you're feeling! Your situation is difficult and pregnancy brings so many challenges. It's challenging to our relationship when we can't do all the things we used to do together.

 I really feel like the guy just plants the seed and then continues to party for 9 months. They don't understand that from day 1 everything changes for us, we can't drink, we're very tired, we don't want to go out and stay up with people who are drinking, we're supposed to get more sleep and eat well and relax. H just really doesn't get it and it makes it very hard.

This. Amen.

Pepper6

You definitely aren't alone.  I'm a FTM as well, this was a planned pregnancy, and we are in a very stable position all around...and I'm still not as excited as a lot of people.  My thoughts on this though is that pregnancy is a 24/7 good, bad, and ugly situation for me whereas for my family, they only think about it at certain times and it's all happy baby thoughts. So when they want to talk about the baby, it's all the exciting stuff that I just haven't thought about yet because I've been too busy thinking about how tired I am and worrying about buying another bra already.

LegalLadyBug

This is my second pregnancy and I'm the same way. I'm excited for the babies but I have a toddler to take care of too so I can't sit around and talk/dream/plan for these babies all day. Plus I'm terrified of losing one of them. It's not that I'm not excited and don't love them, it's just a big change, it's scary, it's stressful...I'm adjusting.

jdias428

FTM, unplanned, BF disappeared months ago, I moved across country, I'm unemployed. Not excited abt the situation. My family is "worried about me". Me too folks! I'm a doctor by trade, so it's a matter of time before I find a well-paying job, but the meantime has been torture (with everything else in the shitter, of course). 

But working on a target registry is how I've been kind of making myself adapt. Hoping to find out the gender in the next couple of weeks (15wks tmrw). Sigh. I've always wanted to be a mom, just never pictured it like this. Only a few months of pregnancy left, right? right?  

sjn00

I just talked to my councilor about this exact thing today. There are a lot of underlying issues causing me to feel this way, but she said its pretty normal and common, people just dont talk about it.

Hang in there!!