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Feeling overwhelmed

O2girlO2girl member
in Infertility
Maybe it's the lupron... But I feel overwhelmed with the responsibility of trying to carry a baby. I don't feel like it will happen so it is making me crazy on levels that scare even me. I wish it was just easy and would have worked the first time so I didn't have to feel so much like a failure.

:(
Me: 38
DX:  Adenomyosis, Compounded MTHFR, PAI-1 4G variant

DH: 34
MFI due to Testicular Cancer

Married March 2012 <3
IVF w/ICSI #1
10 little polar bears
FET #1 with 2 polar bears ~Nov 6, 2013 BFN :(
FET # 2 with 2 more polar bears ~March 19, 2014 BFP!!!
Beta 1= 276
Beta 2= 662
4/19/14 ~ baby A became an angel
5/02/14 ~ baby B became an angel
5/3/14 ~ D&C
FET #3 with 1 male polar bear ~October 3, 2014
October 13, 2014 ~ BFN
Fur Children:  Memphis 3y, Dutch 3y, Marcel 2y, Meadow 1y



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January 2015 Siggy Challenge TTCAL
Animals Interacting with Snow

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Re: Feeling overwhelmed

  • FishyMomFishyMom member
    I completely understand where you are coming from. I feel like that too about this cycle. I try and put it our of my mind, but I am not sure how we could take another MC. Hang in there sweetie! Try and keep the positive vibes going, but I know it can be hard too.
    ******************** BFP Warning *******************
     
    I'm 29 and DH is 32 we have a MFI (low count) 
    IVF #1 starting in August. ER 9/5/13 23 eggs we are fertilizing 15. 9 frozen
    ET 9/10 - transferred 1 perfect 5AA blast
    7dp5dt BFP ~~ Beta on 9/19 - 77.4 Beta #2 on 9/21 - 357
    Low heartbeat on 10/7 86, lower heartbeat on 10/11 76, no heartbeat 10/14/13. D&C 10/15/13
    Tests revealed MTHFR c677t mutation, put on Folgard.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    FET #1 1/6/14 - 4BB blast - BFN
    FET #2 - 3/3/14 - 5AB Blast -- Beta #1 3/12 - 152 -- Beta #2 3/14 - 358
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    FET #3 06/09/16 - 5AB Blast - Beta #1 6/18- 245 -- Beta #2 06/20 - 600
     PAIF/SAIF/PAL/SAL welcome!

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  • O2girlO2girl member
    Thanks sweets. Sometimes it is just so hard to keep it together. Thank you for the support.
    Me: 38
    DX:  Adenomyosis, Compounded MTHFR, PAI-1 4G variant

    DH: 34
    MFI due to Testicular Cancer

    Married March 2012 <3
    IVF w/ICSI #1
    10 little polar bears
    FET #1 with 2 polar bears ~Nov 6, 2013 BFN :(
    FET # 2 with 2 more polar bears ~March 19, 2014 BFP!!!
    Beta 1= 276
    Beta 2= 662
    4/19/14 ~ baby A became an angel
    5/02/14 ~ baby B became an angel
    5/3/14 ~ D&C
    FET #3 with 1 male polar bear ~October 3, 2014
    October 13, 2014 ~ BFN
    Fur Children:  Memphis 3y, Dutch 3y, Marcel 2y, Meadow 1y



    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    January 2015 Siggy Challenge TTCAL
    Animals Interacting with Snow

    image


    Report Reply
  • babydreams13babydreams13 member
    I'm right there with you.  This whole process has been mentally draining an so unfair.  Hang in there it HAS to happen for us eventually.  
    ***SIGGY WARNING***

    DX: Unexplained
    6 Failed IUIs (Clomid and Gonal F).  
    IVF #1 began August 2013- BC, 4 days of Estrace, stimmed with Gonal F and Menopur, Ganirelix, 9R 5M 5F, Medrol and Doxycycline, 5 day transfer of 2 early blastocysts- good quality, Progesterone, Estrace, and baby aspirin, BETA on 9/20 BFN,   IVF #2 began September 2013, stimming with Gonal F (higher dose) and Menopur, Ganirelix, 18R 14M 9F with ICSI, 5 day transfer of 2 BBs one was starting to hatch, 2 frosties: 1  BB and 1 AC, BETA on 10/21, BFN BETA was a 5- chemical 
    Getting some more testing and trying to figure out what the issue is before FET in December, started acupuncture on 11/10, RLP and some other BW nothing major to report except slightly high Prolactin. Prolactin was slightly high when I started with my RE and I already had an MRI which was Neg.  Endo biopsy=negative.  WTF is wrong with us???
    12/18/13 FET of 1 BB and 1 AC.  Hoping for a miracle.  Beta 12/26 Low BETA-8 2nd BETA 5- chemical
    After 3 failed transfers IDK where to go from here.  Still no real answers as to why this isn't working.  Getting a second opinion in February and looking into immune testing.  
    2/14- NEW RE- Immune testing showed a partial dq alpha match with DH- On prednisone and did intralipids prior to transfer.  3/14 Lupron, gonal f, menopur, HGH.  ER 15 mature all 15 fertilized!  5dt of an early blast grade 1 and an expanded blast grade 2.  BETA on 4/21.  1 grade 2 embryo frozen
    BETA #1 59 BETA #2 148 BETA #3 283 BETA #4 2,783! US at 6w2d shows 1 bean measuring right on track! HR 121.  US at 8w3d measuring on track HR 177. Released form my RE.  EDD 12/28


    All Welcome
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  • sweetsurrender9sweetsurrender9 member
    I'm so sorry you've been having a rough time.  I'm just starting to get a big case of the "what ifs" followed by the "when should we" stage.  Sending you all of the positive thoughts I've got.


    image

    image     image

    Me (34): MTHFR, PCOS, Endo, left salpingectomy due to hydrosalpinx, 
    hypothyroidism, low AMH (0.26)/normal FSH/average AFC of 12

    Him (33): No known issues

    November 2013-March 2014: Natural cycles
    April 2014: Clomid 100mg and Ovidrel trigger -- BFN
    May 2014: Clomid 100mg and Ovidrel trigger -- BFN
    July 2014:  IVF class -- Check!
    Holy crap.  Unmedicated BFP 7.22.14.  EDD 4.01.15.
    Best April Fool's Day ever!
    Now on Lovenox, prenatals, Vitamin D,
    Folic Acid, and Synthroid.
    Please be our take home baby.

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  • LSN8308LSN8308 member
    its the worst feeling ever :( i know theres only so much thats in our hands, but it still makes u feel like crap sometimes. FX that feeling will be over soon enough *hugs*
    **SIGGY TICKER WARNING**
    Me: 27 High FSH (POF?) DH: 33 Slightly Low Morphology / Married Aug '08 TTC since 7/2009
    6 rounds of clomid = no luck
    IVF w/ ICSI & AZH #1 - Jan/2011 = ET cancelled OHSS
    FET #1 & #2 - March/2011 & June/2011 = Chemical Preg.
    IVF w/ Half ICSI #2 New RE - May/2012 = BFN!
    May '12 - Sep '13 - Took A Break
    Dec '13 IVF w/ Half ICSI #3!!!!! Switched RE
    Protocol - Lupron trigger/Follistim/Ganirelix/Estrace/Vivelle/Crinone
    12/27 - BFP! TWINS! EDD 9/3/14 ...Team PURPLE!
    6/27/14 - Emergency C/S @ 30w2d - Baby A 2lb 14oz, Baby B 2lb 11 oz
    image
    ALL WELCOME :)
    Report Reply
  • runforcookiesrunforcookies member
    I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I wish I knew the right thing to say to make it better - then I could tell myself too. At least you know you're not alone. ((huggs))


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