Family drama

Runningmomfam

My sister was adopted into our family when she was 15 and I was 13. She is still mad at me for canceling on a 10k with her in early dec. it was snowing and I told her I didn't want to run or drive in snow while preg. She was rude and cold at Christmas. I've already apologized and told her to at least be nice weeks ago. I've had it with her! My parents give her a free pass to treat people badly and act out in anger because she had a rough past before joining our family. She takes no responsibility for anything and always plays the victim. She is toxic. I told her off today and said I don't need that kind of negativity around me. I said please stay away if I'm home visiting. Was I too harsh? I usually don't stand up to her but in sick of her treating me badly.

Runningmomfam

On a side note... She went crying to my parents and now I'm pretty sure my parents will take her side and think I'm a horrible person. My dad has favored her since she joined our family. At the dinner prayer a few nights ago he only mentioned her even though there are 9 kids in our family.

aleksandra_irmina

I don't think you're being too harsh. First off, I guess the question to ask is, how old is she? Anyone over age 16 should not act like a child in my opinion. Does she not understand that it is risky for a pregnant woman to run when it's slippery out?

Maybe I'm harsh, but I have no tolerance for childish behavior... Unless it's from a child. I deal with this type of thing from my MIL constantly. She always tries to play the "poor me" card to DH. She texted him that "she decided they will not be doing stockings this year" and when he asked why, she said "well I wouldn't want to make Alex (me) uncomfortable".. She was trying to make it seem like I ruined it for her because I made a comment a week earlier that I don't think well do stockings with LO but ony because I've never done them in my family so I'm not used to them. Today, at Christmas dinner, she pulled DH aside and told him that I made her feel uncomfortable and "threw her under the bus" for a completely innocent comment I made. She then proceeded to sulk for the rest of the evening. DH is all like "you need to be sensitive she's just trying to make every one happy". That's bs in my opinion. No grown woman should act like that.

Runningmomfam

aleksandra_irmina, she is 32. Definitely old enough to act like an adult and be kind on Christmas. I have 3 other sisters and she has burned bridges with all 3 of them on separate occasions. She is a very angry person. I'm sorry about the situation work your mother in law. I have zero tolerance for that kind of manipulative behavior.

Runningmomfam

Tdonatoni, it did feel really good calling my sister out and literally telling her to start taking responsibility for her actions but I don't think it helped the situation. She just threw everything back in my face. It is so frustrating dealing with family drama when there is so reasoning with her. I'm not sure what your family situation is but I hope for your sake they can at least admidt when they are wrong, apoigize and be nice at Christmas.

curlylocks3

I'm sorry. We have a very difficult relationship with my SIL and after her latest antics a few weeks ago several people (including within the family) advised us to cut off contact with her. We chose not to so as not to make everyone else in the family feel obligated to pick sides. Yes she treats us (and especially me) like crap and probably always will but we are adults and can be the bigger person since she's nt actually harming us in any way and we can recognize that she is not happy or well.
This won't necessarily work for everyone but it is what feels right to us. Good luck to you, you aren't alone.

Mrs_D_in_KY

I would have done the same thing. Sometimes you need to be brutally honest for your own sanity. I've gotten into heated arguments with my siblings and my own parents over choices I've made for my son/husband. And it was all because our choices didn't match up.

I don't need toxic people in my life, DH and I have both decided we are a team and that we don't want these idiots around our child. There's a lot of drama in both DH's family and my family, we keep the drama at bay. But it's because we've told respective parties what to do/not do around our son. Maybe that's being overprotective but I dealt with growing up around a lot of drugs, alcohol and questionable characters. I don't want my son and this LO around that drama.

MrsCase1

Sounds like she is mentally ill, in which case I would try my best not to take anything she says to heart. Kind of strange that your dad favors her. Most people with large families like that, that also adopt, are usually pretty equal. At any rate, maybe they're the ones who need a talking to from you and your siblings so they can see that their acceptance of her behavior is causing damage. Although, I tried this same conversation with my mom about how she enables my brother and nothing ever changes.

JmeJoLee83

I think every family has their share it drama, I know mine does..hang in there!