Potty Training and Daycare

Wufroggy79

I would post to the Potty Training board, but I really need the perspective of a working mom. So many of the books, websites, etc. that I've read about potty training just assume you have days on end to be at home and have nowhere to go. When they do address working families, it seems like they assume you took a three day weekend and then your daycare provider just picks it up, and viola! Bare with me for a brief history, Anyway, I've been following the Stress Free book. LO is going to be three in February, so I really feel like my days off here at the holiday are/were a great time to start. She has most readiness signs. We've had nakedtime now going on morning three. Day one, no real successes in going in the potty. Last night, we had lots of success. So far today, she hasn't gone yet, but she hasn't had an accident either. So fingers crossed. I can continue nakedtime and undies pretty much through Wednesday night. She'll go back to daycare on Thursday. While she's making progress, I would literally be shocked that she was using the potty with few accidents by Thursday morning. I really want to set LO up for success, and I think just sending her in undies and lots of extra clothes on Thursday just kinda breaks my heart. I guess maybe because I can't be there, I have this tremendous mom guilt. While I don't want to go cold undies yet at school until I know she can really do it with few accidents at least at home, I don't want to slip into diapers either (especially at her age with being close to 3). I've read quite a few people that aren't fans of Pull Ups either. Moms that were in the early phases of potty training - what did you do? Pull ups in car/daycare and then have the provider wean off? Go cold turkey? Thanks in advance!

shannm

I did it cold turkey with DS when he was about 2.5 years. I had four days over a holiday break. We did a modified three day method where I waited for him to learn to go. The key was putting the decision to go to the potty in his hands. By day four, he was completely day trained. We then we t back to daycare, no diapers, no pull-ups, just underwear and he did great.
I bet your LO will catch on. Rather than taking her to the potty, just remind her to tell you when she has to go. Accidents are part if it. She has to realize that she is in control and she will have to pee on the floor/couch, to get it.
But in the end, I would aim for undies at daycare but put a diaper or two in case of disaster. And communicate well with the teachers about what works and how you are approaching it.
Good luck!

jlaOK

What does your daycare do for potty training? Ours takes the kids every hour in the 2-yr-old room. When DS was staying dry at school we put undies on him at both school and home.

If she continues to do well at home is send her with undies and tell them to make her try a lot during the day. It's not like they aren't used to handling lots of accidents. If it seems as though she isn't doing well then is up her back in a diaper (I'm also not a fan of pull-ups).

Whatever you do make it consistent at both home and daycare. Since our daycare had a system already in place, we incorporated theirs into our house and it worked well.

Wufroggy79

Thanks so much for replying. Your post sounds a lot like our situauation, and it makes me feel better to know that you eventually did get there. The three day method testimonials won't be from me either, especially not with an almost three year old and one that is fairly stubborn as well. I think I'm just dealing with the mom guilt of not being there to help see her all the way through potty training. I really have had zero issues with leaving her at daycare (she's gone since 7 months), but for whatever reason this potty training thing is shooting my anxiety levels through the roof.

thedash

Maybe it's just us but we did "undies time" and "diaper time" back and forth for a few weeks. I would make a big deal when I put him in underwear and have him use the potty but then if we went out or something I'd put him in a diaper. He started to not like the feel of pee in his diaper (never bothered him before) and that's when I sent him to school in underwear. He had several accidents at school but I figure he's in a two year old room I'm sure the teachers are used to it!

I still let him have a diaper when he needs to poop because he refuses to even try to do that on the potty. He asks me for one and then tells me when he's done and I clean him up and put him back in underwear.

Wufroggy79

thedash said:

Maybe it's just us but we did "undies time" and "diaper time" back and forth for a few weeks. I would make a big deal when I put him in underwear and have him use the potty but then if we went out or something I'd put him in a diaper. He started to not like the feel of pee in his diaper (never bothered him before) and that's when I sent him to school in underwear. He had several accidents at school but I figure he's in a two year old room I'm sure the teachers are used to it!

I still let him have a diaper when he needs to poop because he refuses to even try to do that on the potty. He asks me for one and then tells me when he's done and I clean him up and put him back in underwear.

Thanks for your post! I've been wondering a lot about switching back and forth between diapers and undies or diapers and pull ups. Glad to read a story where it didn't hinder the process.

Veittobe

We are just beginning week 3 of our DD age 2 1/2 being potty trained.  My instinct was to put her in pull-ups for daycare just so they didn't have to deal with the mess.  However, I asked Daycare what they preferred - undies or pull-ups and they said hands down the undies worked better.  They told me that the pull-ups are often too similar to diapers and seems to lengthen the potty training time, whereas if we went with undies typically the kids have a couple accidents but usually have it figured out within 2 weeks.  

This worked really well for us.  DD had a couple accidents day 2 and 3 at daycare but has been pretty well potty trained ever since. 

Good luck! 

KayteeGee

My DS will be 3 in Feb, too... I'd say he's 98% trained... he's had one or two accidents this week (both at home, actually).
I actually think it would be harder to PT without DC (ha ha) but our DC is really, REALLY good at taking them to the potty and being proactive about PT.  We switched from dipes to pull ups at about 2.5 just so he could "Try" if he wanted to try (he'd been sitting on the potty and going off and on before bath since he was 18 mos). 
To be honest, one of his friends at DC is a bit older  and was PT'ed earlier and my DS started telling me that "Bobby is a big boy" so I told him that he could be a big boy, too ... and that weekend we just made a REALLY concerted effort to bring him to the potty a lot.  We used thomas train engines as a reward for poop and gummy bears (the vitamins - LOL) for a reward for pee... it definitely motivated him!
I got a couple of blueberry underpants - cloth so he could feel the wet, but sturdier so that we weren't going through tons of clothes - and that's what I sent him to DC in that Monday... by the end of the week he was in plain underwear.  
Eventually we started rewarding a day of no accidents with a new engine (in hindsight, I'd have used matchbox cars - MUCH CHEAPER!) and give a gummy bear for any potty. Now it's just becoming rote!
ONE OTHER THING:  Do you watch daniel the tiger on PBS (or netflix?) they have a potty episode and we let DS watch that several times over the course of our PT adventure.  We all sing the little jingle "If you have to go potty, stop and go right away! Flush & wash & be on your way!"  I actually think this has been a huge help, it's catchy and it's a nice little reminder to stop what you're doing when your body tells you it's time to go!
I'd encourage you to "find her currency" because I think that made all the difference.  That and - strangely - it just sort of "clicked" with him... maybe because of his friends?

dizzycooks

We had been putting dd on the potty and going naked for a few weekends at home. Basically we said undies ae for at home, but then over a long weekend I took diapers away and then made a big deal when she went back to daycare. I also just told daycare she would be coming back in undies and lots if spare clothes. Two months later we have good days and bad, but at home she's apart 100% dry so I'm glad we did it.

groovygrl

I just feel like every kid is so different & also what the parents want to do... DD just came home from daycare/preschool at 2 1/2 and told me she wanted underwear like some of the older girls in class, we bought it, she had like 3 accidents and was PTed in a week wearing just underwear (pullups at nap for about 1 month) and overnight a month or so later w/ no actual intervention.
DS has been a big struggle, he has minor encopresis, pee training took several months and we are over a year working on poop w/ lots of interventions, reminders, etc. He only has poop accidents at home, rarely if ever at school or out in public anywhere so there are a lot of factors there. I had hoped DC would really help w/ his PTing but there was not much they could do other than the regular potty breaks, encouraging him, and of course the peer influence. So, I dunno, I am not a one (or even two or three) size fits all person on PTing.

LoCarb

DD1i took a 3 day wknd off work. DD2 I realized my DC is awesome and will do all the training with reinforcement at home. Less work = happier mommy. Don't sweat the guilt!!!

emberlee3

DS showed some signs of readiness before 3, but then DD was born and he lost all interest in PT. It took multiple sticker charts, m&ms and various bribes, but we did it at home over 2 weeks. He continued wearing Pull-ups at daycare. After 2 weeks of underwear at home, we took the plunge at school. He did great. I do not recommend pull-ups. I plan to use cloth trainers with DD.