That's all folks =)

verydisgruntledpelican0091

Last final apology, if I ever have an issue with one person I will just go to that person. I am so sorry everyone had to read through this and I realize I was wrong and I will not blame this on hormones, I would just like to move on.
I hope everyone has a great holiday

maggiexxx

I wanted to post something like this so bad... thanks for saying what I was thinking.

verydisgruntledpelican0091

maggiesingh said:

I wanted to post something like this so bad... thanks for saying what I was thinking.

Glad I don't stand alone. Im usually shy but over the security of my cellphone I grew a pair lol. I'm waiting for all the bashers to show up

crhein26

I'm with you too!  I don't post on here a lot.  I mainly just read through all the posts, but I don't get what is with all the negativity. Remember that at some point, everyone is a FTM.  So chill out and ignore those threads!  And yes, I'm the girl who doesn't have a picture or a gif.  Get over that too! 

chaysefaith

The search function is incredibly hard to use on my phone. My screen for some reason won't scroll far enough for me to see everything I'm typing and all of the respondes so I never use it. But...how many freaking name threads do we need?? You don't even need to search since you can't get off the first page without seeing one!

Erica314

This is the internet, people will respond however they like to whether or not it is "rude" to some.

I've only been on the bump for a few months, but the snarky tone you are referring to is kind of a common denominator on every forum I've lurked on here... This thread isn't going to change anything.

If the tone here isn't your style - there are PLENTY of other boards that are more suited to those who can't laugh at themselves.

lellymine

I get that you're frustrated but I don't think it'll help that you're trying to bait women by saying things like "Go ahead and bash me" or "waiting for all the bashers to show up". Just because they have a different opinion than you doesn't mean they're bashing you. This forum is actually really tame and nice compare to most I've been on.

verydisgruntledpelican0091

Erica314 said:

This is the internet, people will respond however they like to whether or not it is "rude" to some.

I've only been on the bump for a few months, but the snarky tone you are referring to is kind of a common denominator on every forum I've lurked on here... This thread isn't going to change anything.

If the tone here isn't your style - there are PLENTY of other boards that are more suited to those who can't laugh at themselves.

Fortunately I wont be leaving. Everyone's entitled to their own opinions just like the snarky unhappy women on here (only a selected few) but I can handle it. I just feel for the women who have posted their EXCITEMENT and got FLIPPED at. That's wrong. That's internet bullying and I for one am not scared of an internet bully lol

JulieSmiles

I'm a FTM and understand where you are coming from, but I will say for me, it is very frustrating to get online to check for a certain thread and not be able to find it. For example, by the time I get home from work, the ticker change is often buried several pages in so I have to go searching, but every special snowflake has asked if their u/s shows a boy or girl. I understand the excitement, but does every single thing need it's own post?

Unknown

This content has been removed.

verydisgruntledpelican0091

lellymine said:

I get that you're frustrated but I don't think it'll help that you're trying to bait women by saying things like "Go ahead and bash me" or "waiting for all the bashers to show up". Just because they have a different opinion than you doesn't mean they're bashing you. This forum is actually really tame and nice compare to most I've been on.

I agree and I'm not trying to fish for comments or anything by telling them to bash away. I'm used to the very selected few freaking at other women over their excitement, and I'm a big girl so they can bash me. If it means maybe they'll just let a women post her excitement then I'm fine with that.

verydisgruntledpelican0091

CDK211 said:

Ok, but even if you get on here once a day you can see there are already tons of, "is this a boy or girl??" Posts, and "what do you think of this name?" I see them and I only do mobile bumping. 

 We were all FTM's at one point...we get it. We also get that every single pregnancy is different and as a third time mom I have tons of questions, too. Nobody is saying stop asking questions...by why start a new post when there is an existing post asking the same exact questions...directly below yours?

I fully agree with you, and I have no problem with the ladies letting others know that their is already a post about this, I do it myself. I'm saying the women who get but hurt about it. It's not hard to click another button and skip to the next page.

Luna C

I tend to agree with OP. There is a previous post for almost every single imaginable topic, but I don't want to have to wade through the first 10 pages of a post that was begun months ago to see what the newest person wants to say/ask. 

verydisgruntledpelican0091

Luna C said:

I tend to agree with OP. There is a previous post for almost every single imaginable topic, but I don't want to have to wade through the first 10 pages of post that was begun months ago to see what the newest person wants to say/ask. 

Thank you @LunaC

katekat8721

No bashing necessary, we're all grown ups

Back when we started, people proposed keeping the board tidy and making lots of check-ins, I was just "eh" about it. I know there was backlash as people felt it was too controlling, and the opposite side felt it was necessary to keep the board operating smoothly.

Well, it's been a few months since that time, and honestly, I like all the check-ins. This board can be an absolute cluster-f#ck without order here. Without the baby names check-in, the daily symptom check-in, etc etc the board would be FLOODED with special snowflakes AW their stuff all over the place. With the check-ins, there's still an opportunity to vent/post about whatever you want, just in a nice and tidy area devoted to a group of women who also want to vent/post about similar things.

From what I can tell, the people who come in and do the "AW" posts are primarily drive bys. They don't take the time to get to know anyone and they just want to run into a room of strangers, share their good news, then bounce out. Speaking as someone who doesn't get to bump a whole lot, when I'm on here, I want to spend my time on the people who consistently participate and who are working to make this a better community.

It's easy to say you could just skim over the posts you don't want to read, but that means you have to sort through pages and pages of posts before you get to something substantial. And this is current, right now, WITH all the check-ins and the order that's already in place. Suggesting to get rid of this would mean even more madness.

If you want an example, take a look at Baby Center's J14 board. It's an insane mess of women just posting whatever thought pops into their head at any given time. There's no way to get to know each other since all people care about is posting about what's important to them.

So, I respectfully disagree with you. I personally haven't seen anyone "freaking out" or "bashing" anyone. Just politely pointing to a post already catered to something that may be better suited for them. It's not going to stop all the special snowflakes. But damn, if it cuts down on some of them that would sure be nice.

Board dictator, out!

curlylocks3

Thatkelsgirl said:

This is the internet, people will respond however they like to whether or not it is "rude" to some.

I've only been on the bump for a few months, but the snarky tone you are referring to is kind of a common denominator on every forum I've lurked on here... This thread isn't going to change anything.

If the tone here isn't your style - there are PLENTY of other boards that are more suited to those who can't laugh at themselves.

Fortunately I wont be leaving. Everyone's entitled to their own opinions just like the snarky unhappy women on here (only a selected few) but I can handle it. I just feel for the women who have posted their EXCITEMENT and got FLIPPED at. That's wrong. That's internet bullying and I for one am not scared of an internet bully lol

Why not just come out and call some of us bitter, since thats the term you are dancing around?

katekat8721

lellymine said:

I get that you're frustrated but I don't think it'll help that you're trying to bait women by saying things like "Go ahead and bash me" or "waiting for all the bashers to show up". Just because they have a different opinion than you doesn't mean they're bashing you. This forum is actually really tame and nice compare to most I've been on.

Seriously. I respectfully disagreed with you Kels, adult woman to adult woman. No need to try to start fights by calling "bashers".

verydisgruntledpelican0091

Like I said, I'm probably just being hormonal.
I give up lol this is a no win post, if I could delete it I would.
I'm just gonna go back into the shadows with a few other ladies lol

verydisgruntledpelican0091

hampire said:

I'm confused. The purpose of this post isn't that you're upset that people are asking other people to post in pre-existing threads but that they do it snarkily right?

Yup. But it's being kinda turned around and I'm probably contradicting myself. I just seen a post where a lady was IMO snarkily told that theirs already a post for that and that we are all tired of seeing these. Made my heart hurt because the women was just excited. But I give up lol. It won't change anything at all.

chaysefaith

katekat8721 said:

From what I can tell, the people who come in and do the "AW" posts are primarily drive bys. They don't take the time to get to know anyone and they just want to run into a room of strangers, share their good news, then bounce out. Speaking as someone who doesn't get to bump a whole lot, when I'm on here, I want to spend my time on the people who consistently participate and who are working to make this a better community.

And THIS, folks, is why a profile pic is important. ESPECIALLY if you're only an every once in a while poster.

verydisgruntledpelican0091

katekat8721 said:

lellymine said:

I get that you're frustrated but I don't think it'll help that you're trying to bait women by saying things like "Go ahead and bash me" or "waiting for all the bashers to show up". Just because they have a different opinion than you doesn't mean they're bashing you. This forum is actually really tame and nice compare to most I've been on.

Seriously. I respectfully disagreed with you Kels, adult woman to adult woman. No need to try to start fights by calling "bashers".


I give up lol I was just being hormonal. I'm over it. I apologize to everyone

nunzchucks

BrightEyes112 said:

I would still like to see an example of someone flipping the fuck out. This board is TAME.

Yes. Links please. And this seems to stem from Elsa pointing out there was a similar thread to the one you posted and then you had a bit of an overreaction there asking for it to be deleted. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12204949/let-s-hear-your-rant-raves-disregard-ignore#latest

elsa1688

If there is a "tone", you are applying it. You have to interpret a tone over text - just because a post doesn't have a million exclamation points or smiley faces does not automatically mean someone is trying to be bitchy, or snarky or bash-y.

verydisgruntledpelican0091

LilNunz1 said:

BrightEyes112 said:

I would still like to see an example of someone flipping the fuck out. This board is TAME.

Yes. Links please. And this seems to stem from Elsa pointing out there was a similar thread to the one you posted and then you had a bit of an overreaction there asking for it to be deleted. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12204949/let-s-hear-your-rant-raves-disregard-ignore#latest

Nope not at all. I made it clear that everytime I've been corrected over something I've apologized and just hadn't seen it. I really do want that to be deleted but then I couldn't figure out how so I just put to ignore the post. I felt bad that their was already one started that I didn't know about and she was nice about it. I'm pretty much referring to only one post and I should never have made this post. Again if I could delete it I would. I'll be quiet now lol. I do enjoy just reading over things on here anyways.

verydisgruntledpelican0091

elsa1688 said:

If there is a "tone", you are applying it. You have to interpret a tone over text - just because a post doesn't have a million exclamation points or smiley faces does not automatically mean someone is trying to be bitchy, or snarky or bash-y.

I totally agree with you. I am sorry for posting this. If I could delete this post along with my previous one for today I would. Today is not a good bumping day for me lol. Should have just sticked with my greys

maggiexxx

Its OK @thatkelsgirl

nflan16

I agree with OP. people on the Internet can be bitchy and rude...but that happens everywhere. It does tick me off when someone excitedly posts when they find out their baby's gender, and someone rains on their parade by telling them they're sick of the baby gender posts. I try to limit myself to only go on once or twice a day, because rude comments just make me mad. In general, I love this app and find there are a lot of wonderful and helpful members posting, but like any other forum on the Internet, there are some very opinionated people that are not afraid to speak their mind, even if it sounds rude. You just have to accept that when you join an app like this I guess

SchoolPsychSteph

I can see both sides, but what works for me is I simply skip over the ones I don't care to read. I love this board, don't have a problem with anyone, and don't mind the repetitive posts. I can see where Kels is coming from, but I'm not able to bump as much as I would like, so I may be considered an occasional drive by. Still love y'all!

verydisgruntledpelican0091

SchoolPsychSteph said:

I can see both sides, but what works for me is I simply skip over the ones I don't care to read. I love this board, don't have a problem with anyone, and don't mind the repetitive posts. I can see where Kels is coming from, but I'm not able to bump as much as I would like, so I may be considered an occasional drive by. Still love y'all!

Awe. We all love you. I always look forward to seeing GOOD posts about you and baby no more bleeding ok? Please lol.

elsa1688

SchoolPsychSteph said:

I can see where Kels is coming from, but I'm not able to bump as much as I would like, so I may be considered an occasional drive by. Still love y'all!

You are definitely not a drive by!!

chaysefaith

@schoolpsychsteph you're definitely not an occasional drive by.

SchoolPsychSteph

@thatkelsgirl I'm trying to keep it at bay, but it has a mind of it's own! Just once a week with an absence at week 12. At least you have material for your suspense novel!

Thanks for the confirmation, ladies! I feel I have gotten to know many of you through posts even if I can't get on all the time.

nunzchucks

And really, maybe people complain a little about the redundant posts, but when a poster needs support, I have NEVER seen this board not step up - regular or lurker.


Further, please show me where anyone with an AW post has been made to feel bad by a comment on their post.

kks4471

I really see both sides to it.  I get annoyed when I see 4 different posts in a row about symptom questions or gender reveals, but then again, I'm an excited FTM and love sharing my excitement with this board.  That's why I love daily threads for appointments, symptoms, ticker changes, and whatever else.  That way it's one common thread that anyone can participate in or skip.  I love the tone and attitude of this board too, it's no nonsense support.  I wish I was able to participate more, but I'm not allowed to be on my phone much at work.

ElTrain5

Women here tend to fall into two camps, the ones that feel like OP and the ones who want less repeat topics and more organization. I only have two unique comments to add (well, one really):


1) @lilnunz1 is right, when it comes to support, no one gets asked to post elsewhere, there's no "there's already lots of posts about bleeding!" comments, which is how it should be.


2) To be completely fair, telling someone that they should search to see if their question has been asked before, so that you don't have to search for the posts that you want to see (ticker change, etc) is technically hypocritical. Either way, someone ends up searching/scrolling.


In summary, I don't see the repeat posts as a big problem. I just click on page 2 or 3. But I understand where the ladies who want more organization are coming from too. I'm just happy we have such an awesome group of people for the most part on this board.

CherSomething

idk, I got reprimanded for making my own post and it was pretty disheartening. I got over it like 30 seconds later. Post in the "subject" thread or post your own. No one can really tell you what to do short of terms of service. If you don't want to read another name thread, it's a free country--don't read it. Thats how I play. I don't read every thread just cause it's there. 

JNerd

I think I might be one of the women OP was referring to. I will say, my post (from yesterday) wasn't meant to be snarky, rather I was trying to convey my frustration at the redundancy, especially given the new creation of the name/sex thread.

I find it annoying when there is a sticky thread dedicated exactly to what the poster is posting and they refuse to use it.

I also second what lilNunz is saying about how, despite the frustration over repeat posts, this is a VERY supportive board and one I am proud to be a part of.

LKHoffa

I agree! I would love to be able to check every day, but I can't so I miss a lot of posts! I always do a quick scroll down to check the latest ones, but that's about all I have time for! I agree that being organized is ideal, and maybe I just don't know how to use the search function! But reposting doesn't bother me- if I've already read 3 threads on that topic, I just don't click on the new one!

verydisgruntledpelican0091

I apologize. This was worded wrong but shouldn't have been posted. Please everyone understand that I was only referring to one person. Anyways I'm so sorry if I offended anyone and I really do love this group.

betjso82

I tend to agree with almost every response. The bump I'm general is extremely snarky. It's really sad how we are all here together, for the same reason, but there is zero tolerance. I think it's completely unnecessary to make fun of questions people ask, or to correct someone because you don't agree with what they are saying. Clearly not everyone was taught that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. That being said, I do agree that 4 posts in the same hour about guess what I'm having is really annoying, and I'm very glad there was a thread created just for that

curlylocks3

betjso82 said:

I tend to agree with almost every response. The bump I'm general is extremely snarky. It's really sad how we are all here together, for the same reason, but there is zero tolerance. I think it's completely unnecessary to make fun of questions people ask, or to correct someone because you don't agree with what they are saying. Clearly not everyone was taught that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. That being said, I do agree that 4 posts in the same hour about guess what I'm having is really annoying, and I'm very glad there was a thread created just for that

Let me search for something nice to say here...

Support doesn't mean blindly agreeing with whatever someone posts; sometimes support means some tough love. 

We all aren't apparently here for the same reasons. I'm here for entertainment and to find some humor in the often frustrating and less than fun parts of pregnancy. 

And if you think this board has zero tolerance, please go hang out on something other than a birth month board.