Emotional Break/Rant

KR250222

I apologize now for all of my whining and complaining. 

This 2ww is not shaping up to be like the others. I'm 2dp5dt and I don't WTF is going on with me. I'm moody as hell today and sad. Before the transfer I was sticking to the "cautiously optimistic" route. Now I am back to not even being able to conceive of a positive. My RE said that after multiple failures that your spirit can go in that direction and you can't imagine a success until it actually happens. But I really cannot imagine it and I feel like crying. Additionally I received 2 baby Christmas cards in the mail today. When DH asked for the mail I replied, "We got 2 stupid baby cards. And of course they were cute!"  I used to wonder if I'd put myself through POAS hell and now I know I won't bc I just don't even want to know. 

Plus, I am super bloated and constipated from the meds which is adding to my emotional imbalance. 

Any words of wisdom/comfort are greatly appreciated. Love you ladies.

violetmarie61516

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  Sending virtual hugs!!  Do something nice for yourself after you start feeling better.  You deserve it!

Sunni01

Rant away. We are here for you. We have all been there and are all in it with you. Sending you big ((((HUGS))))

missmarypoppins

Ugh that does sound like a rough time. I'm sorry!

O2girl

Oh honey!!! Please don't POAS it's way too early and it won't be accurate! Sorry you feel so dumpy, but I get it! I got a Christmas card from a friend who conceived her dd ivf and is now on #2 via FET... I'm happy for her and even though it hurts I put it up on the fridge. Every time I open the door I remind myself that it is possible even when I don't feel like it is for myself. Not saying this tactic is for everyone.... Just that it works for giving me hope when I can't seem to find any. Albeit, I don't have cards up of friends who conceived naturally as that wouldn't be helpful IMO. Xoxoxo

LSN8308

ughhhh we're channeling the same negative energy right now and i wish there was some magic button we can press to just stop it. *hugs* hope your days get better

poohniki

((hugs)) I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I can totally relate and wish I knew something comforting to say. After years at this optimism comes in waves- it never hangs around for very long. I agree with pp- do something nice for yourself or even plan a special night out with DH, distractions are great ways to slow down the thinking. 

mmhopeful

I'm sorry and know how you feel.  Just know that you too deserve to send out a holiday card with a new baby's photo.  The answer is not "no."  it's just "not right now."  Be good to yourself!  Remember, you are already a family...your DH and you.  Hang in there...

BRaven985

So sorry the 2ww isn't going too great....I really hate those down times  I totally understand feeling like it could never happen...even when I think I feel positive, deep down inside I am not sure I believe myself.  But I completely agree with others suggesting to try and find something nice to do for yourself that might help distract you...can't hurt  

TaylorH84

The 2ww is the hardest thing ever. I'm sorry you are feeling so down and can completely understand. It's not over until the stupid beta lady sings. Try to stay busy to keep your mind off of it. You're not alone in feeling this way...pretty sure I've cried every day for the past week.

kz's_girlygirl

I have a super hard time ever imagining having good news too- you definitely aren't alone in that regard!  I am so sorry you feel so down, and hope that in a week you will have something to celebrate.   

RunCC37

((hugs)) Add another to the list - I also can't imagine good news being for me at this point. I hope you find some good distractions for the rest of your 2ww.